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"Took you long enough to crawl out of that mood of yours. We missed you!" Erica cheered in my ear over the music blasting all around us. An arm wrapped around my neck and Cindy's. "We're going to party it up tonight, girls!!!"

I pulled a smile. Had to hide the foul emotions sloshing in the pit of my stomach. Pretend that everything was fine.

"Find someone to spoil us, yeah?" Erica insisted, almost strangling me with her arm.

"We'll see if we find ourselves a big enough fish to catch," I replied with a tight smile.

"Catch and release, yeah? Like you used to."

I couldn't be bothered to reply and flagged down the bartender instead. "Another fog cutter, please," I ordered, downing half the glass in a few desperate gulps. The third one of the night and the sun just went down.

All I wanted was to forget. Drown him away with booze and senseless noise. How it was before I fell.

"Why don't we go?" he asked as his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him.

"We can't drop everything and go," I argued with a grin, my fingers dusting across stubbled speckled. "You have your avenging, and I can't leave the animals at the shelter."

"We both can use a vacation."

"I guess we do.... But, where would we go, Bucky?"

"Anywhere," he answered, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Oh! Oh! I've always wanted to go to the Maldives! Or! Or Australia! Let's see the kangaroos! And the - the koalas!!"

If my boyfriend wasn't all wrapped around me, I'd be bouncing on my toes in excitement. But going from how he laughed, I had to be bouncing.

"What about you? Anywhere you want to go?" I threw back his way. "What do you want to do?"

A thoughtful pouty frown played at his red lips and bright blue eyes focused on mine. "Why don't we hit up China on the way back and check out the panda cubs as well?"

"Oh my god! Yes! Panda cubs are so adorable!" I squealed as he chuckled softly.

"Alright. We'll go to all those places," he mumbled against my lips before sealing the promise with a kiss.

'He never did tell me where he wanted to go...' I thought bitterly at the memory on the roof.

Or what he wanted to do. He never told me what he wanted.

And we never did leave the city that never slept. Not together.

"How about that one?" Cindy hummed out, pointing with a straw.

"He's in the V.I.P. box. Three bottles of Dom. He's got money," Erica chimed in.

I shook my head, downing another glass of alcohol hidden by sugar. "I'm not his type going by how his gaze never left that other guy's girl."

"Shouldn't be a problem for you."

"I'm not getting between that."

"Party pooper."

"Bucky?" I called out sleepily.

The bed was empty. The spot next to mine, cold.

Been this way since I've been staying the night at the tower. Almost every night.

My feet walked on their own. They knew where to go by now: the gym.

I spotted them through the glass as always. But this time, I got close enough for the automatic doors to slide open, the sound alerting them to my arrival.

Bucky turned and glanced at me. His posture sank, back hunching over with a tired sigh.

The beautiful woman sitting next to him on the bench rose to her feet. Every movement of hers was elegant, right down to her fingertips brushing across Bucky's shoulders. As her gorgeous face hovered close to his, she whispered something soft between those ruby red lips.

I couldn't move. Frozen in place as if I didn't belong at his side. That I wasn't allowed to intrude on whatever was between them.

Bucky gave a nod and hung his head with another exaggerated sigh.

She straightened up and headed for the exit, right where I stood. Her smile never reached her eyes, as if she saw right through me and everything I'd ever done. "Don't worry. I'm not interested in him."

Her green eyes gave Bucky another gaze before she smoothly slipped by me. Left the room like she was never here.

"What are you doing up?" my boyfriend asked. He swung his legs around the bench and faced me. A tired smile pulled at his face.

I couldn't bring myself to step into the gym, into their space. I didn't belong here.

"Doll?"

"...The bed's cold."

"I didn't want to disturb you," he whispered through the empty space between us.

"Nightmares?"

"...Ye-yeah...." Those bright blue eyes dropped from mine.

"You can talk to me too," I said, wanting so badly to step closer to him.

"...I can't do that to you. I...." He shook his head, brows furrowing together in pain. A smooth motion had him on his feet, pacing along the bench. "I don't... I don't want you to see the monster I am - was.... I can't.... I can't bring that into us."

"But you can talk to her," the words slipped out before I could stop them. Hated how jealousy coated each syllable.

Almost instantly, his pacing stopped, and he headed straight for me. His hands hovered by my face, close enough to feel the heat of his hand on my left cheek. It wasn't until I leaned my head to the right that he closed the distance between us.

"I'm not.... She's a friend. I love you. You. You mean everything to me. She's - Natalia... she's been through something similar to me.... I can't take it if you saw me as a monster.... Please, I can't...."

"I can never see you as a monster, Bucky. I can love all of you. You can lean on me too. Even once in a while."

"Who you see me as is who I desperately wish to be. Please let me have this. Please."

'I only knew one side of him....'

The side he so desperately wanted me to see. So careful for it to be the only thing I saw.

"What about the hottie who strolled in?" Erica purred in my ear.

"I bet he owns a fancy yacht. He looks like he'd own one or a few," came Cindy's two cents.

When I didn't look up from my drink, they spun me around. Waved at him like some art piece to be admired.

"Doesn't he look yummy?"

Through the numbness of alcohol, I locked eyes with the newcomer when he scanned the room. A smile, a tiny giggle, a few fingers through my hair and a turn of my back to him.

The two elbows jabbing at my ribs was enough to know the hooks sank.

Rich egos so easily caught by a pretty face and a giggle. Either their interest had been piqued, or they had their pride to defend. So long as they came to me on their own, they were wrapped around my finger.

"What about that one? He's ordered every expensive item on the menu. I don't even know what that last thing is, but it looks divine," Cindy practically drooled out.

"Nah, I'm good," I said, not looking up from my lovely pasta.

"He's tall, hot and rich," Erica hedged, nudging me with her elbow. "Your perfect type."

"Not interested," I sang. "You go for him."

"Urgh.... Are you still with that shaggy one?"

"The one with the muscles," Cindy cooed. "I wouldn't mind taking him for a wild ride. Lend him to me."

"Actually, what do you see in that guy? I've never seen you stick with a guy for more than a couple of weeks. You tire of them so easily."

"That's because she doesn't care for any of them."

"Besides money and sex. I miss the days you'd take us to fancy parties. This one looks like he has celebrity friends," Erica whined. "Come on. Doesn't that sounds fun?"

"You're drunk," I told her. "And I'm not interested in those days. They're behind me."

"What your boytoy doesn't know isn't going to hurt anyone."

"Not interested. If you want him, go for it."

"But it's scary to approach a stranger. Can't you do it? You're so good at this. You have to miss those days too."

"Not going to cheat on my boyfriend."

"I don't even know what you see in him."

"Got to be a massively good fuck," Cindy giggled. "Seriously, lend him to me."

"Even that has to get tiring after a year."

'This conversation is tiring after a year,' I thought, irritation clawing up from within my chest.

"Is it because he reminds you of those animals you like to take care of? Broken and in need of fixing? Is that why you put up with his mess? How could you give this up for that?"

"Erica, that's not - Bucky?!"

"Seriously, lend him to me," Cindy repeated. Again.

I rolled my eyes, quickly tossing my share of the lunch. Before I could run after Bucky, Erica wrapped her fingers around my wrist. "Let go."

"Let him go. He's not good for you."

"I love him and I'm happy," I snapped, yanking my arm back and running between all the tables. "Bucky?!"

He took the damn stairs.

"Bucky! Wait!" I yelled down the echoing tunnel of a fire escape. Anxiety weaved its way into my nerves. I needed to catch up. But how could it? "Bucky!!"

And in heels, those snapped halfway down the second set. Took a tumble but before I hit the wall, I landed against something softer.

"Are you hurt?"

"Bucky," I called out, ignoring all the sharp pains that bloomed wherever I landed on a step to grab onto his hand.

He shook off my grip. "How many fingers?"

"Two," I answered, holding onto him again. "I'm fine. You?"

"I wasn't one who just fell."

"You heard those two. My friends."

"...."

"I'm not actually going to let Cindy jump you. Or let Erica talk me into cheating on you. And I don't think you're in need of fixing. It's not why I'm with you, okay?" My hands held onto his warm cheeks, pressing our foreheads together. "Don't listen to them."

"Okay," he whispered, his arms wrapped around me tightly. "So long as you never leave me alone with Cindy."

"...Did she do something behind my back?"

"No, but it explains why she won't stop staring. I thought...."

"No matter what those two say or do... I love you, Bucky."

"I love you too, Doll."

I couldn't chug down the sweet cocktail any faster.

"Another fog cutter for the pretty gal," a stranger's voice chimed to my left. The newcomer grinned down at me, leaning against the bar. From glasses to his toes, all decked out in brand name items. Hermes. Louis Vuitton. Cartier.

Erica gave my ribs one last elbow jab before dragging Cindy off to who knows where. They'd be back soon enough for when the man's ego wanted to show off some more.

I flashed him another sweet smile. Another giggle escaped me before I ignored him for the melting ice in a mostly empty glass.

"And is the pretty gal alone?" He moved his face into my field of vision, forcing me to look at him.

"If you keep the drinks coming, maybe," I said, finally giving him my attention for more than a couple of seconds.

Anything to drown the regret.

I should have pushed to be there for all of him. Maybe we would have survived.

A soft sigh passed my lips at the bell jingling.

"Maybe next time, huh?" I told the giant pitbull to my left.

He had no idea what I said, not with how happy his tail wagged behind him. He reared up on his hind legs, and his right paw landed on my shoulder. A deep woof was all the warning I got before a tongue slobbered all over my face.

"Awww, Kujo, you'll have me until we get you a forever home," I assured, dancing along with his stumbling. "We'll find you a place to call home with good people."

At least with Kujo, I didn't have to worry about him being used as a fighting dog again.

"Who's this handsome fellow?"

I whirled around at the question. I swore I was alone here, but clearly, I wasn't anymore. "Bucky! You scared me there."

"Sorry," he said with a meek smile, standing under the bell that hung on the door. Not a jingle to its tune. "I have some free time. Figured I'd drop by to see if I could volunteer again...."

I couldn't help the laugh. "Alright. I could always make use of those muscles and height." I motioned him to follow with a wave.

"What's the story behind this big guy?" he asked again as Kujo hobbled between us. Bucky had no hesitation about petting the curious pitbull or when Kujo tried to jump on him.

"Kujo, here, he got returned again.... Full grown, big dogs are hard enough to get adopted, let alone a bully breed.... He's a rescue from a dog fighting ring. Found him with a broken front leg. They couldn't save it....

Bucky hummed with a nod, his eyes never staying in one spot for long. As if he expected something to jump out from behind a shelf or out of a kennel.

"He's somehow managed to stay friendly."

"...What can I help with today?"

I motioned to the van with a wave. "I haven't unloaded the supplies. After that, if you're down for it, I can teach you how to clean some of the reptile habitats."

"Sure." And he got right to shelving everything.

"So... Bucky, what is it that you do? You're here at the most random times."

He piled a few bags of dog food onto his shoulder as if they were pillows. "I... I'm... on call...?"

"Mysterious," I laughed, gathering the food bowls on my way to Kujo's kennel.

Easy enough to know not to push. This was a getaway for Bucky. It sure was for me.

"...What...."

"Hmm? What's the matter?"

"What are you doing after this?" he asked, peering out from around a shelf of snake habitats. He even came jogging up to us and helped with all the bowls.

"Since you're doing the heavy lifting, I might go clubbing with fr -" I froze. I recognized that look on his face. I didn't give an expected answer.

"...When does your shift end?"

"Are you...? Is this all leading to asking me out on a date?" I asked carefully.

An easy wave of my hand and Kujo trotted into his kennel. Not a single fuss as I closed the door and secured it.

"Y-yes.... I-I...." Bucky's shoulders slumped and any confidence, if at all, left with the movement. "I thought.... It's okay if you don't want to. Can we forget about this? I'd still like to volunteer here. If you-you don't mind me...."

"You're always welcome here.... And how... hmm... how does cake sound?"

A grin graced Bucky's face, and his head bobbed in an eager nod. "Cake sounds perfect."

Took only a flick of a straw to watch the ice cubes go swirling round and round. Another flick and back in circles the ice went.

'...What even made me go on that first date?'

Everything.

Everything that was him.

Unfamiliar fingers weaved between my hair, brushing the locks behind my shoulder. "Does the pretty lady dance?"

A grin tugged at the corners of my mouth. Didn't feel it at my eyes, but it didn't matter. He didn't matter, but maybe he could make me forget.

"Dancing is part of a fun night," I drawled out.

"Doll!?! Where are you!?!"

At the screams, I wandered out of the bathroom. Toothbrush still in my mouth. "Hmmm?"

I didn't even take two steps off the cold tiles before arms wrapped around me, a weight I couldn't support pulled me to the floor.

"You're okay. Oh god, you're okay. You're okay," Bucky sobbed against me.

Toothbrush and toothpaste laced spit landed on the bathroom floor. "Hey, hey. I'm all good. I'm fine. What happened? Bucky...? What's going on?"

"You're okay. You're okay. I'm so sorry, Doll. I'm so sorry."

My fingers combed his matted hair back. Found it wet and my hand came off red. Blood.

"...Bucky? Are you hurt?!" I questioned, searching his head for lacerations, bumps. Anything.

"I'm sorry."

"Talk to me, Bucky. Please. What's going on? Are you hurt?"

"I'm-I'm... I... I-I can't - I can't do this."

"Bucky? Please!" I begged, grabbing onto his arms when he suddenly stood up, looking ready to bolt right out my bathroom window. "Talk to me. Please, Bucky."

"I-I I can't - I can't.... I'm so sorry, Doll. I'm so, so sorry. But I can't. I can't - I can't do this to you."

"Do wha -?"

His lips pressed against mine. The peppermint toothpaste so misplaced in the swarm of emotions between us.

"Please forgive me," he whispered before running.

Gone in a second.

Not a sign of him in the empty snow covered streets.

Nothing.

I scrambled back inside for my phone. Tried his number, again and again and again.

"Hello."

"Natasha! Do you know where Bucky is?"

"Yes."

"What happened? There's blood on his head. Is he okay?!"

"Everything's fine," came her eerily calm voice. "He's not hurt. He's fine. Something happened on our mission.... He can't bring himself to put you in harm's way again. We're keeping an eye on any future situations. You'll be fine. Nothing will happen to you...."

"What are you - ?"

"I'm sorry. It's better this way.... Before either of you get hurt more than this."

And the line went dead.

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Author's Note:

A big thank you to xTinsela for beta-ing this oneshot and for helping me with the summary! Do check her out. She writes Harry Potter and The Walking Dead fanfictions.

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If you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving a vote. They're very much appreciated. ^^

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This was written for the first contest of Reindeer Games hosted by MarvelousCommunity and inspired by the song Gravity by Eden.

With this song, I decided to look at it as a duet to split the bad between the two main characters for a slightly more supportive and less toxic relationship. Also, Bucky deserves a supportive relationship... and a whole bunch of other stuff. Like everything good and fluffy.

Microsoft Word: 2963 words

Wattpad: 2848 or 2836 or 2842 (It keeps changing whenever I access the page or repaste the story....)