Through The Years - Pt. 2

So it's been over a year since I did part one, and I apologize - obviously I've been working on other stories of mine and haven't really focused on one shots much. However, I was randomly inspired to write this and just spend the last the three hours cranking it out.

I gotta say, this is one of the hardest and saddest things I've ever written. It's also super long too. I hope you enjoy it...

✕ IMPORTANT WARNING: This story mentions heavily triggering themes, such as abuse, underage drinking, illegal drugs, strong language, and dangerous homophobic slurs! Read at your own risk. You have been warned. ✕

- - - -

Age: 11

"Hey, where's your friend?"

Natsu looked up with sad eyes at two girls looming above him. It was Lucy and Flare, mirroring their positions with the same braids and crossed arms. The brown bow in Lucy's hair matched her eyes. They looked at him with so much pity, and Natsu hated that look.

"He moved away," Natsu avoided their intense gazes, staring at the field of daisies he was in. Reflexively, he picked at them, tying the stems together in knots.

"That's too bad," Lucy frowned. "Hey, you want to come play on the playground with us?

"We were just about to play pirates and sea monsters," Flare added excitedly.

Natsu dropped the flower chain and pulled himself into a standing position. "Sure," He brushed off his pants. "But only if I get to be the sea monster."

- - - -

Age: 11

"First day of a new school, Gray," Gray whispered to himself. He clutched his backpack, the same one he's used since the start of kindergarten. The threads in the straps were now fading, alongside the color.

Reflexively, he looked to his side. Of course Natsu isn't there, He thought. You should just forget about him.

Gulping, he stared at the gigantic school building. Kids were already filling in, chatting with their friends about their fantastic summer vacations and how great the school year was going to be.

Gray stepped forward, alone.

- - - -

Age: 12

"Are you excited?" Lucy screamed in his ear. "The first spring festival our parents are allowing us to go to as kids!"

Natsu couldn't help but grin himself, fumbling with the knot of his yukata. "Can you help me tie this?" He asked his friend, motioning towards the strip of fabric.

Lucy expertly tied the knot, having already put on her yukata, which was pastel pink and decorated with a sakura blossom pattern. "Flare is going to meet us there," She announced, pulling the bow together tightly.

"Okay." Natsu whirled around. "How do I look?"

"Amazing." She grinned. "Let's go, we better not keep Flare waiting!"

They stepped forward, together.

- - - -

Age: 12

He shouldn't be doing this.

His father would kill him if he found out.

Literally.

Gray pulled the small box out from under his bed, removing the lid. Inside was the extra money he saved every time we went to go buy his father alcohol or cigarettes. His father never noticed if he kept the extra change; he was always too drunk to care about anything but getting his fix.

In his box, he had about two hundred dollars saved.

He took fifteen - enough for two bus ride tickets and a snack for dinner - and put it in his pocket.

Was he really doing this? He's crazy. He wasn't even sure if Natsu would even be there.

He had no yukata to wear, so he settled for his too-thin coat and typical attire. With one last check downstairs to make sure his father was out cold on the couch, he bolted back up to his room. He unlatched the window and climbed out, scaling down the tree - scraping his knee on the way down - and sighing when his feet hit solid ground.

He didn't even hesitate a second before taking off in a run.

Just for one night, he thought. For one night, I can be myself again.

- - - -

Age: 12

"Hmm," Lucy looked around the festival, surrounded by fun carnival games, rides, and food booths. "What shall we conquer next?"

Natsu, who was currently gorging himself on some vanilla ice cream, shrugged one shoulder passively. "I don't care."

"What do you want to do, Flare?" Lucy turned to her red-headed best friend.

"I'd like to try the Ferris wheel," Flare answered, pointing to the long line for the gigantic circular contraption.

Lucy took both of their hands, pulling them along. "Let's go then!"

- - - -

Age: 12

This is stupid, Gray thought. Why did I think this was a good idea?

Gray knew Natsu loved the spring festival, and how he went every year. They even went together a couple years, with Natsu's parents. Gray felt his face grow warm at the memory.

And yet, even with Natsu's outlandish personality and crazy-colored hair, he was impossible to find amidst the crowd of strangers. He pushed and shoved through people waiting in line, earning a few "Hey!"s and "Watch it!"s.

It felt like a miracle when he saw that same pink hair he missed so much. He was near the front of the line for the Ferris wheel, about to board one of the carts with two other girls that seemed vaguely familiar.

"Natsu!" Gray shouted, fighting for his voice to be heard over the amiable chatter of festival goers. "Natsu!"

Natsu looked around, seemingly hearing Gray's voice but unsure as to where it was coming from. The blonde tugged at his hand, said something incomprehensible to him, and he nodded. They boarded the seat, and the person running the machine pulled the lever to make the wheel whir to life and begin to rotate.

Gray paled when he saw the blonde girl lean over and hug him tightly. What was worse is he hugged back. Of course he would, Gray thought, feeling stupid. Why would he remember me? Of course he would find himself a pretty girlfriend.

Unable to look at them anymore, Gray turned on his heel and ran the other direction, forcing his legs to take him away from the Ferris wheel as fast as possible.

- - - -

Age: 12

"Natsu! Natsu!"

Natsu swore that was Gray's voice. He could never forget it, distinguishable even among a giant crowd of people.

"Gray?" He whispered, turning around. He looked around desperately for the boy, trying to spot him amidst the sea of unfamiliar faces.

"Natsu, we have to get on now-" Lucy told him. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Natsu felt himself tear up. "I think I just heard Gray just now!" He said hysterically, looking around more.

"Hey kid, either get on or let someone else board," The festival worker said to him impatiently. "I got a whole line of people wanting to get on this ride."

"Come on, Natsu," Lucy tugged at his hand lightly.

"I know you miss him, which is why you're probably just imagining things," Flare explained. "We have to hurry."

Natsu gulped and nodded. When they were secured on the cart, Lucy reached over and gave him a consoling hug. "You guys will find each other again someday," She promised him.

"How do you know that?" He mumbled into her shoulder, unable to fight back tears.

"That's easy," Lucy whispered into his ear, rubbing small circles into his back. "Because when two people are meant to be together, not even the universe can keep them apart."

- - - -

Age: 14

"Gray, I need you to go out to the store and get me another case of beer," His dad's voice rumbled throughout the dirty apartment.

Gray's headphones were in, so he couldn't hear his father's command. His father flew up the stairs like lightning, barging into his room without so much as a knock. He ripped he headphones off of Gray's ears, snatching the music player away.

"Didn't you hear me, you faggot?" He screamed, his alcohol-laced breath making Gray's nose wrinkle. "Go get your father some beer!" Forcing his fingers apart, he placed two crumpled up twenties in Gray's hand. "And buy yourself from proper clothes as well. You look like a trainwreck."

Gray looked down at his outfit. Ripped jeans he had to cuff at the ankles to hide the fact they were too small and an old graphic tee he managed to find for three dollars at the clothes donation center. I would dress better if you actually bought me clothes, he thought snappily.

Clothes always remained to be his biggest issue. He would have never thought that such a superficial, fucking stupid thing would make his life a living hell, but it did.

Gray hated growing up, because it meant his clothes got smaller. He only had two shirts and this stupid pair of jeans. He was constantly tugging at the too-short sleeves of his ratty jacket to keep his forearms covered from the biting wind. His shoes cramped his toes every time he attempted to put them on.

In his head, he was always bitter and sarcastic towards his father, yet when he tried to talk back:

"B-but, I'm not of age yet. They won't let me buy it-"

"Figure it out!" His father's voice reverberated across the walls.

Gray silently scrambled to his feet, running out the door.

- - - -

Age: 14

"It's about time you grew up and became a man, Gray," His father announced one day, when Gray was trying to do his homework. "Put that useless crap down. Math never helped me in life, and it certainly won't help you."

Gray set his pencil down, curious as to what his father's definition of being a man meant.

His father popped the cap off a bottle of beer, handing it to his son. "Here," He had the biggest smile on his face. He's drunk off his ass, Gray realized. Otherwise, he wouldn't be this nice to me.

"Drink up!" They clinked bottles, and Gray's dad took a large swig of his. Gray stared at his bottle, hesitantly. Isn't this illegal?

"Boy, when your father gives you something, you better be goddamn respectful and take it!" His father shouted, pushing the butt of the bottle up towards his mouth forcefully.

Gray took the smallest sip in order to please his father. The alcohol ran across his tongue and down his throat, burning it. He tried not to cringe too much at the taste.

"More," His father egged on.

"I really shouldn't-"

"Don't you dare disobey your father's words!" His father slammed his fist on the wall. Amidst his rage, he grabbed Gray's geometry homework and tore it to shreds. "I'm the one wuo made you, the one who pays the bills, and the one who puts food on this table, so you better respect me!"

Gray looked around. Late notice bills piled up in the trash can. What food? He thought. And for that matter, what table?

As his father gave him a death glare, he took another sip of the beer, longer this time. He wiped his mouth, mustering a smile. "Thank you, Father."

His father's chapped lips morphed into a twisted smile. "Of course, son," He grinned, showing off his blackened and yellowed teeth.

- - - -

Age: 14

When his father wasn't looking, Gray went to the refrigerator. Inside, he was unable to find any food besides a stick of butter and half a bottle of ketchup. Most of the fridge was stocked with beer and whisky.

Gray's stomach rumbled. So hungry... He thought. I can't stop thinking about it.

I don't have a choice, he told himself, grabbing one of the beers. Careful not to wake up his father, he scrambled up into his room and locked the door.

- - - -

Age: 14

"Can you believe it?" Flare giggled to Lucy. "We're officially high schoolers now!"

"I know!" She squealed back. "Isn't it just so exciting, Natsu?"

Natsu hadn't heard her, because the earbuds in his ears were blasting music loud enough to block out the world. Lucy ripped out one of them, causing Natsu to frown.

"What?" He muttered.

"I said," Lucy was impatient. "Isn't it so exciting?"

"Yeah, yeah," Natsu put his earbud back in his ear. "First day of high school, first day of the rest of our lives. Totally exciting." He didn't bother to listen to her response, or even see her facial expression, because he walked away.

Lucy and Flare exchanged a look, thinking the same thing. Something's up with him.

- - - -

Age: 14

It was the first day of school, and Gray didn't even go.

In fact, he hardly went at all.

He was too busy looting his father's stash, finding more and more to keep the buzz vibrating through his body, distracting him from his shitty life.

- - - -

Age: 15

"Flare, Natsu, I'd like you guys to meet Levy," Lucy introduced.

Next to her was a petite, blue-haired girl with a book tucked under her arm. "Hiya," She said timidly, waving her free hand.

"Levy is a new student here," Lucy explained. "Care to join us for lunch, Levy?"

"S-sure," She stuttered, taking a seat by her. They quickly fell into an enthusiastic conversation about reading and writing. Lucy told Levy she was an aspiring novelist, and Levy said she was the same. It was obvious they immediately hit it off.

Natsu still wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life. Even Flare knew she wanted to be a beautician, specifically a hair stylist. And it showed, too; she always had the coolest hairstyles for her long red locks.

Natsu stared down at his sandwich, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore. He only knew one thing for certain about his life on what he wanted to be.

With Gray.

- - - -

Age: 15

The scraping of the chair should've been a sign to run.

"Hey, there, Gray," A sultry voice, purposely drawn out to alert his presence, spoke out to him. Gray dared to raise his head, staring at the group of boys between his too-long fringe. He hadn't had the time to give him a haircut in the past few weeks, or perhaps he just lost the motivation to care.

These boys never came over with good intentions.

"So, Gray, tell me," The one in the middle piped up. "How much weed will it take for you to get high enough to let me fuck you?"

Gray clenched his teeth, staring down at his plate of food instead: chicken strips, green peas, and a fruit cup. Gray tried to recall the last time he had a meal as full as that. His school didn't allow free lunch to the kids who'd given themselves a record, and Gray wouldn't take it even if he had a clean slate. He had too much pride for that.

"Oh wait, I forgot," He laughed, his laugh jaunting and felt electrifying against Gray's eardrums, and not in the good way. "Your old man's already got enough stash for you, isn't that right?"

Gray said nothing.

"You want my food, huh?" The boy's voice softened when he noticed Gray's staring, mouth watering. Gray swallowed, giving him an imperceptible nod.

"You hear that, boys?" He jeered to his friends, chewing with his mouth open. "The crackhead is hungry."

His asshole posse made the gestures of sniffing cocaine, eventually snorting like the pigs they were.

The boy started to push the tray towards Gray's direction, but stopped when he saw Gray's hands move to take it from him.

"Nah," He said, plopping a chicken strip in his mouth. "I wouldn't let your gay ass eat this shit off my dick."

Gray couldn't recall what happened after that. Suddenly, he was leaping over the table, crushing the food under his boot and lunging for the boy's throat. It was like the connection between his mind and body snapped, allowing him to have no conscience of what he did next.

- - - -

Age: 15

Three boys ended up in the hospital.

Neither of them were Gray.

He was expelled.

Good, Gray had thought. I never want to go back to that school anyways.

- - - -

Age: 16

There were too many men at the house. He never had a moment alone.

Gray could hear their voices, loud and dangerous, demanding to be heard.

"I paid you for three month's worth!" An unfamiliar voice screamed, followed by the shattering of glass. "So get me my stash, now!"

"I already told you, I'm running low on stock this month," His father shouted back. "Get back to me next week."

"I can't wait until next week!!" His voice rose in anger. "I need to shoot up!" His father said nothing in response. "Fuck you, man," The guy hissed. Gray heard punches and grunts, and an eventual slamming of the door. "I'll be back tomorrow!"

Not too long after, Gray's father burst into his bedroom. "You. Boy! You need to hide this. Somewhere safe, I don't care. But don't tell me where."

In his hands was small plastic bags filled with powdery solution. Drugs, Gray recognized it immediately.

"Why-"

"I didn't make you to ask questions, you faggot!" He screamed. Sweat dotted at his hairline, and a fresh black eye was forming on his left eye. "Just do what I say and hide the fucking heroin!"

He stormed out, slamming the door behind him and whispering a stream of drunken curses under his breath. Gray didn't hear from him for the rest of the night.

He stared at the bags of heroin in his hands. He didn't have any hiding places in his room - he couldn't even call it that, it sounded too nice - the only piece of furniture he had was a bare, pee-stained mattress, ripped to shreds by mice, and that was too easy of a hiding spot.

He knew where to step to not fall through the floorboards, but he avoiding broken glass and rat droppings proved to be a greater challenge.

In one of the corners, Gray noticed a loose nail. With all his strength, he yanked out the nail and pulled back the floorboard. Shoving the bags underneath, he stomped on the floor to put the board back in place and threw the nail out his window.

That night, he couldn't sleep, knowing there were high-power drugs only a few feet away from him.

I won't give in, he told himself. There's no going back from that.

- - - -

Age: 16

He gave in.

- - - -

Age: 16

He snuck into the kitchen, managing to find a lighter and a spoon. He ripped off the floorboard, tearing into the bag and shook it impatiently to make the powder. Flicking the lighter he found, he poured the powder into the spoon and held the flame under it.

He heard his father stirring in the other room by the time the powder melted into bubbling red sludge.

His father was mumbling to himself, voice growing louder and echoing throughout the apartment. He thought he was talking to Gray, muttering about how he was a great fuckin dad, letting his cocksucking son live in his house, how he should be damn grateful he shares his beer -

His words echoed in his head, numbing every sense in his body. He poured the drug into the syringe and stuck the needle in the bend of his elbow. The words, swirling with the sensation of the heroin, felt like a slow burn in his body.

He pushed the entire contents of the heroin into his bloodstream and discarded the syringe out of his skin.

Head resting against the torn-wallpaper wall, he sat and waited. Eyes closing, he had nothing left to do and allowed his body to lull into a warm drowsiness. His father's words melted away, Gray no longer having the energy to care about them.

His brain wandered; suddenly he was in a field of flowers. In the back of his mind, his father's words slurred into mush. Fucking faggot...

He was surrounded by every color possible of daisies. Natsu stood in the middle of the field, older, but still like Gray remembered him a couple of years ago. His hand extended out, and Gray bolted towards him to take it.

Natsu's smile was so warm, the feeling erupted throughout his whole body, carrying him throughout the field of bursting color behind the backs of his eyelids.

- - - -

Age: 16

Natsu ventured towards the tree house one Saturday morning. The sun had just come up, and cool winter morning air whipped around him. He scaled up the ladder, afraid the rope would snap under his added weight.

The treehouse was exactly as he remembered it, save for the overgrown branches and vines that made their way into the window holes and twisted between the floorboards.

Natsu sat in one corner, shooing away some cobwebs before pulling his knees close to his body. He wrapped his arms around himself, putting his head in his arms.

Here, he could think about why he was feeling so confused lately. Why didn't he like girls like the other normal guys at his school? Why was he still so attached to his childhood friend?

It didn't make sense, and yet it did, but Natsu refused to believe in the truth.

The treehouse felt so bare and sullen without his best friend there, laughing at his jokes and making him feel like he could live forever.

- - - -

Age: 16

When he came to, Gray expected himself to be a mess. Unable to move, sweating profusely, the whole shebang.

He rose to a sitting position, feeling his neck cramp up from sleeping on the floor. Somehow, even though his back hurt, it was the best sleep he'd had in years.

The empty plastic bag, lighter, and spoon surrounded him, lying pathetically on the disgusting wood floor. Gray looked at them sullenly, deciding they'd be his new best friends.

"Considering Natsu ditched me as a best friend," Gray grumbled to himself. "Getting himself a girlfriend and deciding he was going to be straight. God, and here I thought he loved me. What an idiot I am."

Gray stood up, feeling uneasy when he remembered that hangovers were accompanied with fast movement. However, he was pleasantly surprised to find no nausea or splitting headaches when he took a shaky step forward.

There were four more bags underneath the floorboards, he recalled. Surely he could get just a little bit more of one more, his father wouldn't notice, he's always too drunk off his ass-

The process repeated itself. The lighter flicks, the heroin boils. Gray doesn't even flinch when the needle pricks at his arm, he's too impatient to find the feeling again, slip back into his happy place again.

After pushing the liquid into his vein, he dragged out the needle and it skittered to the floor. Gray fell back on the mattress, allowing his eyes to close and the burning sensation to return.

This time, it was different. Gray wondered if each time he shot up, he'd feel something different. It excited him, encouraged him to explore all the possibilities of what he could feel beyond depression and fear every damn moment of his life.

- - - -

Age: 16

They were dancing.

Natsu's hand wrapped around his waist, fingers warm to the touch. The same warm smile. White daisies in his hair.

He's beautiful, Gray thought.

They twirled in circles, the rest of the world melting away and a spotlight twinkling warm light on them. It lit up Natsu's face, making his features look more radiant than before.

Natsu leaned in, whispering in his ear. "Let's go somewhere else," He had said, his warm breath tickling the skin of Gray's ear. He nodded slowly, taking Natsu's hand and guiding him away.

The world blended into black, and they were in a bedroom, completely unlike the one Gray had at his apartment. They fell on the bed, shoes kicked off, lips colliding, meshed against each other like they could never get enough.

"I've been dying to do this for years," Gray giggled, wrapping his arms around Natsu's neck.

Natsu hummed in agreement, his mouth moving from the corner of Gray's lips to peppered kisses on his jawline, daring to go lower.

Natsu's hands roamed everywhere. Everywhere his fingers trailed left an electrifying spark on Gray's skin, making him shiver.

Gray sighed softly, allowing his mind to wander. It was dangerous to think of things like this when his father was home. These thoughts were locked away in his mind, never to resurface.

It felt so real, the way Natsu's soft lips trailed against his neck. Gray's hands found their way up his shirt, feeling every ripple in his skin. Natsu kissed every freckle on Gray's collarbone, murmuring slurred words into his ear.

I love you, I love you, I love you...

Gray hummed, threading his fingers through Natsu's hair. The daisy crown was still tangled in his locks, getting mussed up while his fingers worked. Natsu sighed breathlessly. Their lips met again, and the world exploded in color around them.

"Come find me, Gray," Natsu begged against his skin. "I need you."

Gray was fumbling with the clasp of his pants. "Someday," He whispered, wanting to hurry before the euphoric feeling subsided. Natsu rested his head against his shoulder, hands trailing the soft skin of Gray's back before pulling the shirt off.

"Promise me?" They met eyes, and Natsu's green eyes sparkled with worry and desperation.

Gray found his hand amidst their tangled limbs, and locked pinkies with him. "Pinky promise."

A/N: this is why I don't write smut because I suck at itttt

- - - -

Age: 16

Natsu awoke in a cold sweat.

That dream felt way too real, he thought, squirming in bed. The way Gray's hands trailed on his skin, the way his mouth felt pressed up desperately against his...

Natsu hurried to the bathroom, unable to contain himself.

- - - -

Age: 16

"Get up."

Gray was shaken awake, feeling strong hands grasping at his shoulders. "Stop fucking dancing around, you pansy!"

Gray felt drowsy, and his head spun. When he managed to open his eyes, they were met with the dark, soulless irises of his father's.

"You took my stash?" His father accused when he saw Gray was awake, holding the plastic baggies in his tight grasp. He shoved them in Gray's face, demanding for an explanation.

"Mmmm," He murmured sleepily.

"You fucking queer," His dad slapped him. Gray was too weak to keep himself upright, and he tumbled to the floor. His face stung, but it was nothing new. "That was for a client! Don't you know what happens when people don't get their fix?"

Gray didn't reply. He felt his eyes shut, his heart pounding against his chest. The buzz was still there; he just had to sleep, return to Natsu-

"You ungrateful son of a bitch!" His father screamed, kicking him. "After all I do for you, this is how you choose to repay me! You cocksucking faggot! I'm gonna kill you, stash-stealing queers like you deserve to rot in hell...You-"

Gray stopped listening as his words strung together. With each kick, it hurt less. Blood dripped off his body, and bruises purpled his skin, but he didn't care. He didn't feel anything.

And it was so damn liberating.

- - - -

Age: 16

It wasn't even a minute later when the police broke down the door.

"Police! Come out where we can see you with your hands in the air!" Voices shouted behind protective helmets. "Don't try to escape, the place is surrounded!"

"Fuck-" He heard his father hiss. He moved towards the locked filing cabinet, the one that held the drugs, and jammed the key inside. He grabbed as many packets as possible, tossing them at Gray.

Then, at the bottom of the very last drawer, he pulled out a gun.

He pressed the cool metal to his temple and fired just as the police force pulled back the door and ran into the room.

Blood splattered the wall and Gray's father slumped to the floor, dead without so much as a goodbye.

Though, Gray wasn't so sure he was expecting one anyways.

- - - -

Age: 16

A man knelt by him, pressing two fingers to his neck. "He's alive!" He announced, his voice sounding a million miles away to Gray.

"Man, this place is a shithole!" Another commented. You got that right, Gray thought amidst his half-consciousness. "I just got rat shit on my shoe!"

The first man picked him up. "Holy shit, Roberts, this guy is so damn light, he looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks! Call an ambulance!"

Gray made a noise of pain when his body was picked up. Fuck, it was so pathetic, he was so damn skinny even the tiniest movements of his body put him in a sweat. Everywhere ached, and all he wanted was to go back to Natsu, who seemed to light the way when his life was surrounded by terrifying darkness.

"The ambulance is on their way," The second guy explained. "Man, I can't imagine living in a hell like this... Poor kid."

That doesn't even begin to describe it, Gray thought, the last shred of his consciousness slipping away from him.

- - - -

Age: 16

It was Lucy who first heard about it on the news.

She scrambled for her cell phone, pressing 3 on her speed dial to call Natsu. She didn't even bother to say hello when he picked up, instead demanded for him to "Turn on the news, quick."

"Alright, alright, I'm looking for the remote... Channel 13, right?" What's the big deal, anyw-"

Magnolia Drug Dealer Silver Fullbuster Commits Suicide, Son in a Coma, the headline read.

Silent tears dropped down her cheeks as she stared at the headline. The unnamed son could only be one person.

"Silver Fullbuster, the highly-wanted heroin and cocaine dealer on the east side of Magnolia, has been found in his apartment this morning around nine am. Police officers Landon and Roberts describe the apartment in shambles, strewn with broken beer bottles and drug equipment. Fullbuster has been on the wanted list for years now, having indirectly caused several murders and suicides by his clients. His only son, unnamed, was found unconscious at the scene, beaten bloody, malnourished, and surrounded by packets of heroin. Unable to awaken, He has now been admitted to the emergency ward of Magnolia General Hospital-"

The line went dead.

When Lucy tried to call Natsu again, the phone rang and rang until it went to voicemail.

A/N: ...Yikes. Idk where that came from. Anyway, if you're reading this, you made it through! What did you think? Are you in tears like I am?