soundtrack: Edwin McCain- I'll be

ABBY

I couldn't thank enough, I wanted to jump up and down when I get outside the exam hall. I can finally breathe, breathe some fresh air. This year is the most exhausting year for me, I really need a long vacation, spread blanket in the sand, drinking cocktail while reading good books.

I sigh.

I pick out my phone from my bag. I have five missed calls from my best friend two from dad but unfortunately nothing from mom. I feel sick in my stomach. Is she ignoring me? I ignore the messages.

My parents are still out of the country celebrating their anniversary, mom is always mom who worries too much, a few days ago her call was a little bit odd.

"Hey mom, how's the honeymoon? I mean not that part. You know?" I beam

"Oh, honey I know, wish you're here, you'll love this place but we can bring you here anytime. How's college?" I sigh

"I'm sure I'll love it, mom, college is still college, almost finals. Where's dad?"

"On the phone honey, got a call from Grace." I knew Grace, dad's PA.

"You must be too tan right now. Why won't send me some photos?" She can't tag me, I don't have social media account, pathetic isn't it?

"I will honey, so tell me, are you dating anyone already? I wanna meet that guy." date? when am I allowed to date? I furrow my brows

"Mom, did you forget you said I'm still young to date? where is the focus first on your school, boys later?" I snort

"Honey, that was three years ago."

"Oh, yeah but you didn't tell me either that I'm already allowed to date." Pathetic of an excuse because I know why I don't date.

"Honey, you're already eighteen you should at least date and try making new friends." Mom's enthusiastic voice fills my ear.

"Mom, I have friends I mean best friend, you know." I feel suddenly alone

I still remember when she told me how she and dad met and how dad is her soulmate. They can't just keep their hands off of each other even until now when I said eww, they just laughed.

"See, honey, I'm not forcing you into a date, just try, your therapist suggested that you should make friends, right." She always encouraged me but she worried too much at the same time.

"Yeah, I know, making friends and dating are two different things mom."

"Honey, I know smarty-pants but promise me, you'll live your life and be happy, and have friends, date someone, travel, see new places, appreciate things, life is too short to focus on just one thing, Honey. Don't let your past hold your future, promise me Mackenzie?" now, I wanna cry. My lips quiver.

"Mom, why are we talking about this right now? Jeez, mom, I'm not that old to miss the fun of dating, maybe one of this days I'll bump into Sam Caflin or Chris Hemsworth and maybe one of them asks me for a coffee." I roll my eyes.

"Don't do that, I can see your eyes rolling, young woman. Try trusting someone. You'll feel right when it is. Trust your instinct, honey." I take a huge breath.

I try making excuses to drop this subject "Okay mom, I promise, and mom its Abbygail, and trusting someone is not just buying sweets from the candy shop, and dad will definitely freak out, does he even know you're telling me this?"

"Why would I let daddy know? You know it's our secret," she whispers.

I chuckle "Mom, you're terrible at keeping secrets. I'll let you know when I meet someone worth my time."

"Good, now talk to daddy." I bite my lip

"Hey, pumpkin, how's my girl?" Dad voice sound restraints.

"Dad, how old am I? and I'm great by the way," I ask

"Eighteen, sweetheart, why?" He answers

"I'll tell you why first don't call me pumpkin, no one will date some pumpkin, secondly I'm already Eighteen to be pumpkin, and last I miss you, Dad." I sing at the end.

"What do you mean "date"? wait, are you dating anyone Mackenzie? Why didn't you mention you meet someone, we talk almost every day and I don't like that idea of keeping something from me young woman." Ooppss... sorry mom. I grin

"Ooppss... Dad, I'm not dating anyone but maybe soon, I'll start dating since it's the end of school year, you know?" I say giggling

"And who told you, you can date? I didn't remember giving you permission, Mackenzie." I can feel his eyes narrowing on me.

"Dad, I'm eighteen, meaning I'm an adult and I can go out on a date." I response

"I know, but you're still my baby, and the last time you went out, you know what happened. I'm sorry sweetheart I don't mean to remind you." Dad says.

"Don't be, dad, I know, but until when I'll stay away from people? what if Drew will live out with his girlfriend, I'll be left alone." I blow a huge breath.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I know, I know just on my dad mode." He sounds exhausted

"Don't worry when I'll go out with someone, I promise I'll let you know, tell mom I love her and give her a kiss for me, will you Dad?"

"Sure, Sweetheart. Take care and be a good girl. We'll see you soon. I love you, Abby."

"Love You, dad, bye."

My parents got married when they're still both in college. They both came from rich family and rival companies but it didn't stop them, instead, both companies merged. It took 5 years for mom to get pregnant, they almost lost hope. They planned for adoption but before it happened, I was conceived.

I dial my dad's number. He picks up at second ring

"Hey, Dad, tell me you and mom are already in my apartment and don't eat lunch and we're having lunch at our restaurant." he stays silent but I can hear his breathing.

I'm already sitting in my car, turn on the ignition but before I can drive, I stop.

The unexpected circumstance that reminds us to expect the unexpected and that life is inevitable. Expect even the worst one but it never occurs to me how strong the impact until it hit me. I feel the world crushing on me, I can feel my blood rushing through my body, I gasp, my hand covers my mouth. I didn't even realize my phone falls from my now trembling hand. I feel boneless, speechless and breathless. I feel like I'm an ice in the middle Sahara Desert melting rapidly. My eyes are now blurry.

Everything stops.

This is supposed to be a happy family get-together because finally after a year of school I can finally spend with my parents for months. Now it will never be the same again, everything changed.

I finally sob, my hands are tightly holding on the steering wheel. I wish I'm with dad when things like this happened, how did he manage to handle it by himself? Poor dad. His soulmate is gone. He just lost my mom. Mom is gone.

breath...

breath...

breath...

I wipe my tears from my face but it won't dry, until someone tap from outside of my window. My best friend who looks like hell but I'm sure I look worst. I struggle to open the door, when I get out of my car, I launch myself into him and I hug him so tight and bury my face in his chest I know he is crying too, my shoulders are shaking.

"I'm sorry Abby, she is like a mother to me. I know it hurts, I'm so sorry." he keeps rubbing my back.

"Your dad call me when you didn't pick up so I took a cab and I know you're here. I can't even drive, I'm still in shock." He helps me to passenger seat after he suggested to drive. We remain silent all the way to our apartment.

I just cry and go to my bed then bury my face in the pillow and burst into cry again.

Someone is talking and tapping my shoulder but my eyes refuse to open. Then I remember what happened before I sleep. I cry again until I fall to sleep.

"Hey, honey wake up you need to get up I have something to tell you." I open my eyes and see my mom's beautiful smile. Her eyes twinkling like thousands of stars in the skies. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

I jolt awake. Drew is sitting in my bed with a steaming bowl in his hand. He must have cooked while I'm passed out.

"Hey, I know I shouldn't ask but how'd you feel?" he manages to smile though it doesn't reach his eyes.

"My head is about to explode. My eyes are heavy. Everything hurts like hell." I start crying. I'm also hungry and my stomach keeps grumbling.

"It's okay to cry sweetie, I'm worried if you won't but you have to eat. You need your energy. Your dad called back while you're sleeping. We're leaving in two hours. Your dad wanted to send the jet but I told him not to bother. I booked a flight for us so we have to hurry. Eat your food then freshen up, we're leaving as soon as you're ready. I'll get Tylenol for you".

He strides toward my bathroom attached to my room. I hear a cabinet opens and closes. He places the tablets of Tylenol in my bedside. I force myself to eat the food he gave me. I didn't realize I'm so famished until I empty the bowl. I take two Tylenol and drink some water.

I feel dizzy when I stand up abruptly. He holds me by my arms, I lean my body to him until we reach my bathroom door.

"Do you need help undressing?" Drew asks

"I can manage from here. I get a quick shower. I let you know if I need anything." I lock the bathroom door then take a quick shower

I didn't almost recognize myself with glassy green eyes, fluffy eye bags, stuffy red nose, full red lips, skin looks so pale. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I whisper " I am strong, I survived once, I can do it again."

I slepp all through our entire flight. Drew nudges me in my shoulder and remindsme we're landing in fifteen minutes.

"I guess you sleep well too?" I say slowly while yawning.

"I sleep as soon as I hear you snore on my shoulder." I cross my arms

"I don't snore. You, idiot." Which makes him chuckle.

" Oh, you droll too." He's the best brother I ever wanted.

"I know how you feel Abby, I feel it too, I love your mom. Wherever she is right now I'm sure she's happy and proud of you. You shouldn't be sad but cherish all the memories of you and your mother." He squeezes my hand and I squeeze it back.

"I know Drew but I can't help it. I should be beside her when things get tough. I should be holding her hand and telling her how much I love her. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye or kiss her or hug her one last time. I should have been there. I'm her daughter for God sake, why she didn't tell me about it? I'm such an idiot I didn't get what she meant when she called a few days ago. I have no doubt that she loved me, I can feel it but why she hide it from me?" Drew wipes my tears by a tissue on his hand.

"Always a boy scout huh?" he gives me sad smile and kisses my temple.

"Abby, your mother doesn't want you to see her suffer. You've suffered too much already. She doesn't want to see you sad before.... Before she... died. The last thing she wants to see is her beautiful smart and happy daughter. Which she did."

"You always have something to say to cheer me up, haven't you?"

A car is already waiting for us when we arrived. Dad's driver Howard gives me a sad smile and said sorry for my lost. God, how many people will come to me and say sorry for my lost? I don't think I can take it. I can't wait to see my dad.

As soon as the car enters the gate of King's mansion. I feel suddenly hollow. It reminds me again why I'm here. It's been three years. My eyes start to stings, my chest starts to feel heavy. I take a deep breath and ready myself. Would I ever be ready for this?

I didn't even notice someone already open the door for me, it means I'm here in my home, my old home. I step my right foot outside the car. I bite my bottom lip that is now trembling.

I close my eyes. I feel hands cupping my face. I know that hands, the very same touch, the feelings of warmth, safety and reassurance, the smell of musk and mint. I inhale it deeply, I'm afraid to open my eyes that it might not be real.

"Pumpkin? Open your eyes sweetheart. It's your dad." He kisses my nose and my forehead.

Before I can open my eyes I'm now shaking and crying out loud, dad hugs me tight, I don't care if all the people in the world hear me cry. I just want to feel that I'm now in dad's arm.

When I feel relieved I release my both hands and look at my dad's eyes. He's also crying, his blue eyes are sad, he quickly wipes his face clean and gives me a smile but it's enough for me to know that I'm with dad again.

"Good to see you, sweetheart. You know I love you so much, right pumpkin?" I nod and give him a quick hug before we head inside my very home.

The very same room I remember, only a few changes like new furniture, new curtain, newly made bed, new red carpet and the new me.

I see both my suitcases are already in my room. I'm sure Drew is already settled in his room. He has a room already on his own since my parents like adopted him already. I sit on the side of my bed and lean my head down to my bed and curl myself to sleep.

_____

I can't move

I can't see anything

I can't hear either.

"Where am I?"

"Finally, we meet again Mackenzie. good to see you too. You've grown up into a woman."

I can only see a figure of a tall man.

I try to move but I can't.

I start to cry.

"Who are you? how do you know me? why am I here?

"So bad Mackenzie, I knew you too well, soon you'll have company."

Just like that he's gone.

I wake up sweating. I try to calm my breathing. my heart beats so fast. I cup my face with my hands.