09 || Unspoken Words but Tacit Feelings
“Hey Seokmin- oh wow you don’t look so hot. I’m guessing practice got you tired too?" Mingyu massaged his right shoulder with his left hand while glancing over at Seokmin who had just arrived at the unexpectedly lively classroom. "Chan literally made me carry him home after practice for payback after I stepped on him during it. My arms are so sore and my shoulders feel really stiff.”
It was only so noisy because of how late the tall brunet was. Seokmin wasn't exactly too late, but he showed up almost twenty minutes later than he usually did. The booming mathematics classroom that only continued to grow in population contrasted the dreary mood of the classroom that existed when there barely were students residing in the sunlit room.
“Hm? Oh yeah. I didn’t get home until eight, and I had to bike home too, my legs feel like they're made out of jelly.” Seokmin groaned in relief as he seated himself at his desk. His legs twinged, as his legs still ached from baseball practice the day before, but other than that the tall junior sighed contently having finally found a chance to sit rather than having to waddle to avoid the painful stings that came with simply moving his legs the wrong way.
Seokmin was so taken back by the soothing comfort that came with sitting at his desk that he seemed to forget about his surroundings. He glanced over to Mingyu to see his friend working on organizing his class notes like he usually did during the moments before their math class started. Seokmin was happy to see that Mingyu hadn't been as upset as he was during past mornings.
Another survey of the classroom made the brunet feel uneasy; as if there was something he was forgetting. It wasn't uncommon to see students in his class studying before class, but it sure was uncommon to have the class collectively staring down at their books.
Was there a quiz today he hadn't remembered to study for? Could it be that there was a test instead? Was that why everyone seemed to be so busy with reviewing their notes and chatting about assignments?
Seokmin leaned over to spy on the student in front of him as she frantically wrote out answers to questions listed on a sheet of paper. That was when it clicked in Seokmin's brain. “Wait a minute, we had homework for this class? I didn’t know!”
Mingyu sighed, shaking his head with a small chuckle. It wasn't out of character at all for Seokmin to forget about an assignment or even a project, seeing as the brunet wasn't as academically driven as he or their other friends were. Most of the time though Seokmin remembered to do his work a day prior. This time though, Seokmin had only managed to remember about their homework ten minutes before the class would start.
The tall brunet began to panic internally before rummaging through his bookbag, filing through his folders full of worksheets before finally finding the homework sheet given to him yesterday morning. Picking up a sharpened pencil, Seokmin began to try to run through each question. He soon found difficulty though in trying to complete the assignment because of all the complex math he was facing on the paper. Seokmin was really close to giving up, that was until he felt a tap on his left shoulder.
“I’ll let you copy mine, but you must beware because it comes with a price Seokmin.” Jeonghan spoke in a playful tone as he waved around his own homework sheet, identical to the junior's sheet except it was completed.
Seokmin hadn't even noticed when the dark haired senior had entered and took the seat next to him, and frankly he didn't care. All the brunet cared about in the moment was the assignment, and it was evident in the way that his eyes followed the flimsy paper as Jeonghan waved it around in front of him teasingly.
“Your price? Name it.” Seokmin widened his eyes in a desperate attempt to try to physically plead Jeonghan for the paper in his possession. He internally hoped that the dark haired senior wouldn't demand something impossible to give in return for the homework answers.
“Lunch.” Jeonghan smiled, which pleased Seokmin because he wasn't so sure that he could have afforded to spare anything other than that for the answers.
“You have but a deal Jeonghan.” Seokmin bowed his head down towards the senior, dramatizing the situation way more than it needed to be. Luckily Jeonghan was kind enough to play along with what the junior was doing, nodding his head and even holding his right hand out to meet Seokmin's hand as the junior continued,“We shall shake on it.”
With that, their deal was finalized. Seokmin had the great privilege of not being scolded by their math teacher for not doing his homework. Jeonghan finally had someone to eat lunch with. All was well, or so it seemed.
It was a few class periods later when Jeonghan found himself standing outside of the Pledis High school building. The senior tapped his right foot impatiently while glancing down at his phone to check the time. Maybe he had put too much faith into Seokmin, because the tall junior had yet to arrive at the place they had agreed to meet at and five whole minutes had passed by already.
Jeonghan was just about to give up on the idea of getting to have company for lunch instead of eating alone like he had been for the past week, until he spotted a familiar sympathetic smile shining at him among a crowd of students exiting the school building to enjoy their lunches outside instead of inside the stuffy school cafeteria.
“I was starting to think that you were going to just leave me hanging.” Jeonghan smiled as he and Seokmin began to branch away from the crowd near the school building. Naturally the other students outside failed to mind their own businesses, and so they peered at the pair while eating their lunches under the cool shade of the large trees planted in the school's front yard.
It was when they were outside of the school's boundaries that Seokmin had realized he hadn't even asked Jeonghan where they were heading. The dark haired senior could have been leading Seokmin to his death, and the brunet would have had no idea about it at all!
“So where are we heading?” Seokmin gulped nervously. Once he started thinking, he couldn't stop. This was why he couldn't help but think about how Jeonghan could be an infamous serial killer who was already leading him to a dark alley so that he could dispose of the brunet's body in an empty dumpster nobody would ever suspect to be a casket for the teenager. Seokmin's eyes darted to his right as Jeonghan cleared his throat in preparation for answering the junior's question.
“There’s this nearby bakery I wanted to go to.” Jeonghan explained, resolving the conflict going on in Seokmin's mind. They both set out on their way towards the bakery, walking side by side in silence as each of them had no idea what to say.
Their arms grazed with one another when Seokmin had to move towards Jeonghan so that an older woman could pass by both of them with her shopping cart, but neither of the students noticed at all. Shortly after that, they found themselves standing in the line inside of the bakery. They were next in line when Seokmin pulled out his wallet from his right hand side pocket and began to fumble with the bills inside of it.
“Oh there’s no need for that. I wouldn’t make you pay for my lunch just because you copied my homework. I only wanted someone to accompany me.” Jeonghan shook his head, pushing Seokmin's hand down so that the junior would put his wallet away. It didn't really matter what they would order, Jeonghan would be able to afford buying the entire building if he wanted to. Seokmin didn't know that though, so the brunet persisted in offering to pay for them both.
“We can just split the bill! I’d feel bad taking both your homework and your money.” The two agreed to come to a compromise even if Jeonghan hadn't minded paying for both of their lunches that day.
Eventually the pair found themselves at the front of the line and afterwards they seated themselves as one of the many brightly colored tables. Jeonghan picked at his lunch, a small croissant that he ordered along with a strawberry flavored milk tea, while Seokmin stuffed his face with the sandwich he had ended up purchasing.
“So do you go outside for lunch every day? It would explain why I’ve never seen you in the cafeteria.” Seokmin asked curiously, because now that he thought about it Jeonghan never really did sit for lunch in the cafeteria. Of course he only noticed this because of the lack of gossiping students around them. No matter where he went, there was always someone whispering about the dark haired student.
“Yeah I pretty much eat out every day. I consider it better than sitting in a cafeteria alone, only with the stares of those nosy students to give me company.” Jeonghan chuckled as he grabbed his beverage and took a light sip of it. He held the drink as he hovered the straw near his mouth, biting at it slightly before stopping himself.
The dark haired senior tried to avoid indulging himself in this bad habit of his, his mother always complained it was unsightly to see him gnawing on his straw, but it was a habit; one that Jeonghan wouldn’t be getting rid of anytime soon. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I have no friends. The closest thing I have to one here is you.”
“What about Jihoon? He told me you both went to the same Summer camp. I thought you were both friends.” Seokmin frowned in a guilty manner, not expecting for Jeonghan to have sounded as lonely as he now did. “Don’t you both ever talk or hang out?”
“We have one or two classes together.” Jeonghan explained as he fiddled with his straw. The croissant in front of him sitting on the light blue table remained untouched as the dark haired student met eyes with the junior in front of him, eyes full of anticipation for what Jeonghan would say next.
A pit appeared, hollowing Jeonghan’s stomach as he used his right hand to brush over the unhealed scar on the back of his left hand. He always picked at the scar as it tried to heal, causing it to never really have a chance to properly amend itself. “Jihoon barely talks to me though, and when he does it's about the baseball team. I already said I didn’t want to join it. I'd rather not hear all about it every time we speak.”
“Is there a reason you won’t join though?” Seokmin asked, letting his curious nature take over for the second time that day. The tall brunet regretted asking though, because as soon as the question left his mouth the senior’s expression hardened. The way Jeonghan clenched his jaw and avoided eye contact served as a red flag, providing enough evidence for Seokmin to determine that it was a touchy subject for the junior.
“It’s complicated,” was the vague answer given by Jeonghan, which was okay for the junior seeing as Seokmin didn't want to push the older male to answer anything he didn’t want to. The dark haired student let out a shaky breath, not picked up by Seokmin’s radar, before bringing his hands under the light blue table to pick at his scar with the nail of his thumb. “Is there a reason you did join?”
“Well I love playing baseball. My uncle introduced it to me as a kid and I’ve been hooked ever since. This is my third year on the team and it just gets better. It’s kind of like a family outside of my family, if you know what I mean.” Seokmin smiled gleefully before meeting eyes with Jeonghan.
The senior’s dark brown eyes seemed clouded with mixed emotions, as if a storm was brewing behind them. For a split second Jeonghan faltered and just for that second the tall brunet could clearly sense sadness radiating from the senior rather than the usual ambiguous vibe that Jeonghan gave out.
“Sorry for oversharing a bit. Baseball is just something I’m really proud of. The field is like my second home, except well there's nowhere to sleep and it gets really cold at night. I would not recommend sleeping on the field by the way, not comfortable at all-"
“No, I get it.” Jeonghan’s voice trailed off. The dark haired male opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something relating to the topic. However, he hesitated. Seokmin wasn’t sure what it was that caused Jeonghan to think twice before speaking, but he was sure that it had something to do with why Jeonghan seemed so bothered when baseball was mentioned.
Not even a second later, a fabricated smirk appeared on the senior’s face. “You’re way more cheesier than I expected. All these rants about virtues like friendship and family, I bet you watched a lot of Barney as a kid.”
“And so what if I did?” Seokmin asked defensively, crossing his arms and evoking a small laugh from Jeonghan that seemed more authentic than the artificial tone that Jeonghan had been previously using.
“Hey I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that!” Jeonghan exclaimed, finally picking up his croissant to take a bite out of it. Seokmin glanced down to the left hand gripping the pastry and eyed the pinkened scar on Jeonghan’s hand. His field of vision was cut off when Jeonghan set down the pastry and used his right hand to bring his shirt sleeve over the scar to cover it before furrowing his eyebrows at the brunet. “Don’t look so happy, I also never said there was anything right with that either.”
Seokmin decided to let his suspicions go for now in favor of just enjoying his lunch with the dark haired senior who was more than uncomfortable with revealing any details about his personal life to the junior. The pair conversed freely, leaving the subject of baseball behind as they got to know each other more.
The conversation felt authentic for the most part, except for the lingering feeling of sadness that Seokmin was overwhelmed by every time he looked into the set of dark brown eyes sitting across from him at the light blue table.
It was ten minutes before the next school period when the two decided to leave the bakery and return to the Pledis High school grounds. They walked leisurely, not in a rush to get to the school building as they had an ample amount of time to get to their next classes. No matter how much Jeonghan spoke happily or laughed though, Seokmin couldn’t get the sad look of the older male’s eyes off of his mind.
“You know, I don’t want to pry or make you uncomfortable but if Jihoon is really pushing for you to join there must be a reason outside of him just wanting a player for the team. Maybe you should reconsider, or at least come by and see what our team is like first.” Seokmin turned to speak to Jeonghan as they approached the tall school building.
He didn’t give Jeonghan any time to react though as he promptly entered the building and slowly walked to his next class, hoping his small speech had gotten through to the senior.
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