Author: HoneyBubbles05

Reviewer: daniellie802

Writing style and flow: 10/10
Pace: 9,5/10
Grammar: 14,5/15
C. Development: 14/15
Hook: 9/10
Book cover and summary: 9/10
Originality: 5/5
Plot:10/15
Total: 90/100

This is a masterpiece. Trust me.

I adore the mesmerizing details of each paragraph. The way you describe Chrysta's thoughts is very good and captivating.

The reactions of your characters to Ivy's death tell us a lot about their personalities. The first paragraphs explain quite a lot of backstory without revealing too much.

The characters themselves are very interesting, especially the MC's problem with herself.

As good as the descriptive paragraphs are, I think you have put too many of them and too many words in them. I think you need to break up your paragraphs into short ones. I also suggest more explosive short sentences to add more variety.

This particularly stands out:

A stomach not flat enough

A waist not small enough

A face not pretty enough

Adding this kind of sentence spices up the story, and it provides a strong emphasis.

I also think there is a lack of an external antagonist.

I understand that the main focus of the story is Chrysta's internal struggle, but you actually  said something about people scorning her for... not dying instead of her sister. These people can be crucial components in explaining Chrysta's depression. An external antagonist will also provide more tension to the story.

In conclusion, the story is extremely enjoyable to read with great descriptive paragraphs and characters. Adding an external antagonist and increasing the amount of explosive sentences will improve the already good story.