Entry: The Golden Seal by FParungao

Reviewer: mchuang
(9 / 10) Writing Style & Flow
(8 / 10) Pace
(12 / 15) Grammar
(13 / 15) Character Development
(10 / 10) Beginning & Hook
(8 / 10) Book Cover & Summary
(5 / 5) Originality
(14 / 15) Plot
(89 / 100) TOTAL

The cover is creative and unique, as is the plot. The main protagonist's backstory is especially interesting. I am curious as to why the author chose to jump to this point, in a bar after many of his conflicts have already passed.

The blurb contains contains a few questionable word choices. I'd remove "currently" and "unpredictable events unfold as." I must especially emphasize the latter; some readers may be turned away if the author has to explicitly state that there will be "unpredictable events." It gives off the impression that he / she / they do not have a solid plotline moving forward.

As for the story itself, there existed many elementary grammatical mistakes, especially in regards to tense. I pointed many of them out in the inline comments. There were also quite a few instances of missing punctuation marks in the dialogues.

The pace was satisfactory for the most part, except for a portion of chapter 3, when the main protagonist suddenly finds himself in a dream. The appearance of this dream-flashback is rather sudden and, had I not read the blurb, I'd be completely and utterly confused. The reader shouldn't have to rely on that knowledge.

One interesting tidbit was the incorporation of images matching brief descriptions placed in the text. My question is: Does the writer have any long-term goals in regards to this story? Because if that is the case, it may be worthwhile to invest more into writing out descriptions rather than relying on images that you wouldn't normally find in a novel.

Character development for the protagonist is almost non-existent. at least for the first four chapters. I do wonder if more of his backstory will be revealed later on, but I also suggest giving hints earlier on. Fortunately, I did see some from the deuteragonist, especially during and after their competition.

Overall, The Golden Seal shows a lot of potential. I look forward to seeing how it progresses in the future. Please feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions, comments, or concerns. Thanks!