G R A C I E

As I stared at Craig's message, I didn't know whether or not I should respond. I certainly possessed no desire to see or talk to him again. After a few seconds of anxious contemplation, I decided, instead, to give Val a call back first and ignore my ex for now.

Val picked up on the fourth ring. "Hey, girl! About time you called me back."

Hearing her voice made me smile. "What's up, Val?"

She started in dramatic tones, "So..."

I echoed, "So?"

"One of my coworkers is going to be leaving our company this Friday..."

I didn't know what her coworker had to do with me, but I went along with it, "Okay... are we happy or sad about it?"

"I'm sad to lose him because he's a great colleague, but I'm also happy for him because he's a great guy. You should be happy, too."

I laughed. "Me? Why should I be happy? I don't even know him."

Val continued coyly, "You should be happy because he got a new job."

I still had no clue where she was taking this conversation. "Congrats to him, I guess?"

"His new job is in Chandler."

"Oh, no way! Chandler... as in Chandler, Arizona?"

"Yep! He's thirty-four. Single. Smart. Funny. Cute. Shit, even I think he's good-looking, and I'm not into dicks. The man's the whole fucking package, really."

It hit me, then.

"Oh, my God, Val," I grumbled, "are you trying to set us up?"

"Of course not," she teased through the phone, "I'm just letting you know—his name is Tyler. He's an amazing guy who will be new in town, and it might be nice if one of the locals could show him around?"

"One of the locals, eh?"

She hummed conspiratorially, "Mm-hmm."

Immediately, a weird pang of guilt struck me. Gray's face flashed across my mind. For some stupid reason, the thought of seeing other guys simply felt... wrong.

My brain had no reason for thinking this way. It wasn't like Gray and I were together or anything.

My heart, however, couldn't help protesting: Our friendship was in such a messy place right now. Everything was still being rebuilt from the ground up—with no blueprint to follow—and all the kinks had yet to be worked out. My entire world consisted of Stevie and Gray right now, and I was strangely okay with it. However imperfect and chaotic that world might be. Not to mention, I was hoping to use what little time I had left in between taking care of Stevie and working my full-time job to start writing again. I felt hesitant to waste a minute of my precious free time on dating.

In strained tones, I tried to wriggle my way out of it, "I dunno, Val, I kinda have my hands full with Stevie right now..."

"Come on, Gracie! Don't give me excuses. What do you have to lose? You should, at least, meet the guy before you pass on him."

Val had a point, but I still felt hesitant. "What about Stevie? Would Tyler be okay with... her?"

Val reassured me, "Don't worry, I didn't tell him about all the crazy details, but he knows you're looking after your sister's kid."

Shortly after Lydia's funeral, I had broken down and told Val everything about my new co-parenting situation with Gray. Given my fucked up history with him, Val hadn't been thrilled about our arrangement, to say the least, and I wondered if this was her way of trying to get me to distance myself from Gray?

I appreciated Val's concern, I was sure her intentions were good, but a part of me also felt a bit defensive.

I decided to bring up the elephant in the room, "I don't know if I'm ready to date, Val. Gray and I are still trying to... figure things out... with Stevie."

There was a pause on the line.

In low, troubled tones, Val asked, "Are you guys sleeping together?"

"N-No, no, it's not like that at all," I stammered, "but everything is pretty... complicated."

"I can't even imagine what's going on between you two," Val sighed. "You know I just want you to be happy, right? Please don't let Gray, or even Stevie, hold you back from living a full life. You deserve love, too, you know."

"I was in love with Craig for a while."

Val scoffed, "Craig doesn't count! I'm talking about romantic, soul-searing, take-your-breath-away kind of love."

"I had that kind of love with Gray," I pointed out, "before everything went to shit."

"Whatever you do," Val warned, "don't go back to Gray."

"Why?"

"Because he's not good for you," Val muttered.

"You've never met Gray before," I retorted, "how would you know?"

"I know enough from what you've told me. I know he broke your heart and knocked up your sister."

Ouch.

Was that how my closest friend viewed my relationship with Gray?

Was that how everyone viewed my relationship with him?

For a minute, I felt at a loss for words. Val's words had cut me to the bone. Because there was truth in what she said. But there was also so much she didn't know about Gray. Like what a good father he was turning out to be in spite of his own daddy issues. Like how much he was still suffering from the aftershocks of war. Like how much he wanted to change and make things right for our little hodgepodge family of three.

I wanted to say something, but the right words kept eluding me. "I..."

She prompted, "What?"

Once I recovered my composure, I found myself defending Gray, "People can change, Val."

"Can they, Gracie?"

"If a person wants something bad enough," I insisted, suddenly thinking of myself and speaking for myself, "they can do anything."

"I just don't want you to get sucked into another toxic relationship."

I could hear Val's worry for me in her voice.

It inspired me to soften my stance. "Hey, Val?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to stress over me. I'm not the same person I used to be. I promise, whoever I end up with in my next relationship, I'll run the other way the moment I see a red flag."

"Or," chided my best friend, "you can give Tyler a chance. He doesn't have any bright red flags as far as I can tell."

Was it possible for any human being to be red flag free?

I had my doubts. I felt like we were all fucked up in one way or another.

Wryly, I challenged, "Are you saying he's perfect?"

"Nobody's perfect," Val countered, "but Tyler comes pretty close."

"Damn, you just don't give up, do you?"

Val chuckled. "What can I say? The guy is dying to meet you. I showed him a picture of you the other day. He thinks you're gorgeous."

From her persistent tone, I could tell that Val wasn't going to let this matter go any time soon.

"Fine," I offered with a reluctant groan, "you can give Tyler my number, and maybe I'll think about meeting him if he actually texts me."

Happily, Val exclaimed, "That's the spirit! I knew you had it in you. I'm so excited for you two!"

"Thanks," I murmured, "I guess we'll see what happens..."

After we hung up, responding to Craig's text was the furthest thing from my mind. I decided to leave him on read. For good. All I could think about at the moment was Gray and this new guy, Tyler.

Was Gray going to get jealous over the idea of me dating another guy?

Or would he simply step aside, move on, and start dating other women as well?

My mood sank significantly at the thought of us drifting apart from each other again.