Anatole: I don't believe in giraffes.

Marya: If I turn around and somebody's stacked up markers into a lightsaber, I'm calling your parents.

Anatole, Helene, Dolokhov, and Natasha: *frantically disassemble marker swords*

Sonya: I can use my pencil as a self-defenseil

Marya, yelling from down the hall: WE DO NOT WASTE FOOD!

Helene, after playing a dating sim on her phone: Oh my god he's daddy

Andrei: ..... we're in the middle of science class right now. You realize that right?

Pierre, attempting to have his name and Napoleon's add up to 666: eighty plus a hundred is one,

Mary: I have a handy pocket constitution in here! *sniffs it* mm, smells like problematic compromises.

Helene: ugh, when the raisins in your oatmeal raisin cookie are sexist,

Anatole: show me love by giving me money!

Pierre: where'd Natasha go?

Dolokhov: there! We lost her in the embroidered pillows!

Pierre: try to have a normal conversation  with me. I dare you. Coward.