JIN POV:

The last thing I expect is that as everyone settles down around the large table for dinner, knees brushing, elbows touching as everyone talks is that Tae's seat remains unoccupied, alongside the other chair that is yet to be filled even once. That even Yoongi and Hobi look confused as to where their fellow kit has vanished to.

Jiminie and Kookie exchange silent looks, the pack's maknaes trying to figure out where their fellow maknae has vanished to, Joon's head cocks, ears perked as if trying to detect sound within the apartment.

Then the sound of a door slamming shut rings out. Has everyone stiffening in an instant. Casual slouched, relaxed postures stiffening, ears perking up. It has my wings shifting and rustling uneasily, because what on earth has wound Tae up so much that it becomes punctuated with the sound of a door roughly being shut on the far end of the apartment. It has Kookie's nose scrunching and twitching, poor love probably detecting the pheromonal change in Tae's scent already. It has Joon's eyes widening with realisation, Jiminie and Hobi's with frozen expressions that melt and morph into tentative hope. And Yoongi...he straightens up, tail curling and swaying, ears stiff as he detects the sound of our packmate.

And when I turn it's in time to see Tae entering through the doorway, face void of any anger or distress as we'd been expecting, as I'd been expecting. But instead his endearing boxy smile, fangs poking out and pressing into his bottom lip, tail swishing excitedly behind him, fluffy stripey ears ramrod and to attention, twitching slightly. Because when he steps through he isn't alone. Because right behind him is (Y/N), her own ears drooping slightly when her eyes meet mine over his shoulder.

The first instant she makes eye contact with me, the feelings of suppressed guilt and shame rapidly bubbling and rising to the surface as I see her. But before they can spill over and make an ugly mess, my brain and instincts short-circuit when rather than flinching and jerking back behind Tae to hide from me, she offers a sweet shy smile, eyes contrite and wide with apology, eyes meeting mine and staying there; not scared, not petrified and not hiding.

The sight makes me more relieved than I ever thought possible, wings slumping and drooping with sudden relief. But even so I watch as she tentatively moves away from behind Tae, my eyes immediately catching onto the way Tae's large hand is wrapped around her slender wrist, swallowing it whole in his large grip, tugging her along with him.

"Look who I got over for dinner! Beat you all to it~" Tae crows good-naturedly, smile brightening and widening with elation as he gestures to (Y/N) with a flourish, tail curling with satisfaction as the others watch. As Joon's tail thumps against the side of the chair where it had been draped to the side, Jiminie's eyes light up, puffy orange tail brushing against the vacant chair before he's tilting his head with a silent contemplative look.

"I'm glad you did Taehyungie. Take a seat     (Y/N)!" Jiminie pipes up, fluffy tail brushing against the closest seat to him, even as his hand pats it, looking at her with bright excitement in his eyes. I watch as she shoots him a genuine smile, soft and warm and sweet as she ducks out from behind Tae to make her way over.

"This is okay right...?" she asks as she sits, body slightly stiff and eyes darting to look at all of us.

When her eyes meet mine I give a small nod, smiling at her, watching the way Joon's head eagerly nods and Hobi is quick and loud to voice how glad he is that she's finally joined them. Watch as Tae takes the seat beside her and grins at Hobi beside him, who looks longingly towards the seat- wishing to be filling it instead.

"It's more than okay. I'm glad you came over." I say softly as I sit down in the seat beside Yoongi, wing brushing against his side as I lift the lids off, gesturing to them all.

"Dig in then." I prompt, the words triggering movement as the others begin to serve food onto their plates, hands darting out to slide side dishes onto each other's plates; weaving around each other in a way that had grown to be effortless, a natural ease and fluidity. Physical proof of our pack becoming closer, becoming more attuned with each other.

And watching Joonie eagerly and enthusiastically slide more of the well-done meat onto Kookie's plate was endearing, the two of them sporting pink cheeks and exchanging sweetly shy lingering glances. Watch Yoongi silently pile food onto Joon's plate, to my plate is an immediate silent instinct he follows through with always, making sure everyone's got food before serving himself. He glances at the maknaes and Hobi, lips curled up with satisfaction that they're already filled before he even takes up his utensils.

And then pauses. Because he's noticed (Y/N) hasn't reached out for food yet, and he's not the only one to make the observation.

It hasn't evaded my eyes, hasn't been missed by Jiminie and the others who can directly see her.

But still no-one makes the first step, Jiminie's head shaking subtly, minutely as he glances at us.

Everyone begins eating, the natural flow of chatter slightly stilted but turns back to its ease soon enough, the others trying to draw (Y/N) in. Try to make her feel directly involved without putting the spotlight on her.

And it's as Kookie is talking about making new sketches for a design to decorate cupcakes with, there's slow subtle movement.

That has (Y/N)'s eyes drifting downwards, not to her plate or the table but below it, doe-eyes widened for a fraction before her eyes dart to Jiminie, who's silently eating. But with twitching lips and a pleased look on his face.

And then it turns back to normal. For a bit.

A slight stiffness entering (Y/N)'s frame, eyes wide as she fiddles with her utensils and it's as she's fidgeting that Jiminie silently reaches over for food to pile onto her plate, drawing food over to serve her, silent and effective about it. He doesn't choose everything though, a small almost imperceptible shake to his head, internally reflecting, as he makes her plate up.

And when he's done he leans away, picking up his utensils and looking distinctly pleased when she gives a small smile and starts to eat, tentatively at first as if feeling our eyes on her, never have my eyes darted away so quickly in haste to not make her uncomfortable. Nudge Yoongi with my foot to get him to stop subtly staring.

But surprisingly, dinner passes amicably, with none of the stiffness that I'd imagined...not to that extent anyways. Where Jiminie had been a talkative and sometimes silent support for her by her side, Tae was an eager ball of energy on her other. Accidentally knocking elbows with her as he was gathering dishes, her slight flinch smoothed away and his apology waved off by her as she began to help.

"(Y/N) you don't need to." I say, trying to intercept her but she steps easily aside to walk into the kitchen space as she sets it down.

"Please let me." she asks. Something almost nervous and tense in the way she waits, expecting rejection.

I sigh and relent. Sorting out leftovers and packing them up and when I turn she's already at the sink tugging on gloves to start washing.

Jiminie opens his mouth to stop her but Hobi tugs him back. Something like recognition as he takes the efficiency she's cleaning with, looking at her in a way that shows understanding and sorrow, ears twisting.

But before he can step up beside her to dry the dishes, Yoongi is the one who quietly approaches, padding over with a soft black tail curling behind him.

Yoongi who silently takes a tea towel off the racks to take the wet dish she's just about to set down.

My heart sinks when I see the way her tail flicks up and ears stiffen. See the way she's caught off guard.

But then turns to look at him.

"You don't have to." She says easily, nodding her head towards the tea towel.

There's a few moments in which Yoongi silently just watches her, examines her. Before his hand very slowly, very deliberately reaches out to take the dish.

"I want to. I hope you'll join us for more meals." He murmurs quietly.

An offer. An invitation.

Because it hadn't just been me who'd noticed the way her doe-eyes had shone even if she didn't speak much. Had seen the way her stiffness was due to the unfamiliarity but her ears had relaxed, had curled a bit, posture easing up.

Because it was clear she was starved of company, that she'd relished it today.

And because it made me realise that maybe giving her the privacy of being alone hadn't reaped the benefits that Kookie and I thought it would.

-----

But when the dishes were cleaned and sparkling, when dinner's leftovers were packed up and dinner was well and truly over, the others had already begun moving towards the living room, Joonie lingered, tail nervously swishing behind him, eyes both warm and hopeful as he looks at (Y/N).

"(Y/N) do you want to join us? It's not much but we'd like to have you stay for a movie if that's fine." He says, demeanour bashful and tentative; the formidable wolf officer melting away to give way to Joon, the endearingly sweet large pup that just wanted to spend time with her. Tail picking up speed as it swishes, ears perked up.

She smiles.

But then shakes her head.

"I should head back. You spend time with your pack Namjoon." She says, voice soft but not weak or trembling, assured in herself.

And her need to detach herself from us.

"(Y/N) we'd really like it. We want you here." I add, watching as her face; torn with clashing needs becomes smoothened out, pushed aside.

Watch as her posture straightens and she sets the tea towel aside, reaching over to hang it up.

"That's really kind Jin but I just...I just want some time alone. Please." She adds.

Her words softly imploring, making me suddenly and obliviously apparent to the way her stiffness is due to that comfortability easing away. The sudden change in her environment from something secluded to something so busy and hectic, was no doubt causing an assault on her senses with the thick fog of pack scents.

Joon gives a small nod.

"Of course you can (Y/N). You don't need to ask if you want a breather. I know we can get quite...intense." He says, astutely knowing the reason behind her discomfort, behind that drainage as I see the weariness flicker in her eyes.

But for all that he encouragingly nods, his ears wilt when she wishes us good night and turns to leave. It's me who bears witness to the sagging of his tail, almost sullenly flicking against the fridge door with a dull thump at her leaving.

Eyes filled with longing and wistfulness.

"I wish she'd have stayed." Joon murmurs into the silence after she's vanished from sight.

I smile fondly at him, reaching out to tug him alongside me. As we enter the hallway, my eyes flit to the emptiness of it, where she'd just passed through.

"I wish so too." 

(Y/N) POV:

I watch as everyone falls into an easy rhythm. One that comes without practice, without being taught. I watch as the others seamlessly interact, attuned to each other as they serve food onto their plates and that of their packmates. Given how Namjoon and Yoongi put food onto their other packmates' plates, they must be two of the elder ones- unconsciously acting on the need to provide for pack, to feed them before themselves.

I knew because I recognised it. Recognised it as something Eunwoo and I did for Binnie, satisfied with the scrunch as he chewed and the happy hum as he ate before turning to pile food onto each other's plates too.

And still I couldn't quite bring myself to reach out to help myself, startled out of my thoughts as I fidgeted by the feeling of a soft fluffy tail brushing across my ankle, a featherlight touch as Jimin's tail accidentally brushes against my ankle, my eyes blinking down at the sight of the orange fluffy tail swaying, brushing against the side of my calf.

And then the tail moves and curls away, the soft poofy warmth slipping away, swaying slightly as it moves. Probably why it had brushed against me in the first place.

And when I look up, he's already putting food onto my plate, ears twitching as he takes in the food and deliberates over them, it taking all but one moment to realise that he's choosing similar tastes and ingredients to the ones he'd seen me lean towards in the café. Very well-cooked meat dishes and a mixture of the others. Silently I realise he's taking care of me again.

It's as I'm eating, slightly conscious and painfully aware of the eyes that dart to me constantly, curiosity and intrigue in them, that make me slightly stiff. So forcibly accustomed to the feeling of constantly being watched that even friendly, casual gazes when coming with the force of the full pack makes me fidget, fingers clutching more tightly at the utensils, trying to keep my self calm, reminding myself that this wasn't what I felt at the centre, this wasn't what I'd experienced walking home before. This was a safe space. I was safe.

And almost as if in tune to my inner turmoil, the soft fluffy tail brushes ever so lightly against my calf, the ends of it a ticklish sensation against my ankle. And it doesn't sway or curve away. It remains there but when I glance sideways to Jimin who's eating, smiling at something Jin says because his cheek bunches up.

But his head turns, as if feeling the weight of my glance, head tilted questioningly at me. Silently asking me if I'm okay and flustered and unable to outright question whether his tail is intentionally brushed against my side or accidentally I shake my head and turn back. But inexplicably soothed by the touch.

Though as dinner goes by, as they get more and more tactile, pressing into each other as they eat, feed each other I become more and more aware of their scents thickening, with contentedness, a swirl of happy, relaxed pheromones seeping into the air, mingling into a cloud that makes my head pound and swim. A thick fog that pushes against my instincts and reminds me constantly that the majority are predators, that I'm hopelessly outnumbered and that this for all that my rationality easily accepted as friendly, as normal...is also threatening, also making me aware that I'm an outsider intruding on this.

It's enough to begin to batter against the rational part that relishes in the normalcy, enough to nudge aside the feeling of comfort, of being surrounded and not alone, safe in that sense, to give way to nerves once more. Slightly overwhelmed with the mixture of scents that's growing stronger and stronger, that slightly eases away when the others split up in the kitchen to share tasks.

But it remains. Like a constant assault on my senses.

Even as I rush to clean, grateful to have something to busy my hands with, to dull the edge of those fleeing instincts by others that guide me to take care, the constant prickling feeling of eyes drifting to me make me clean and scrub a bit quicker. So invested and immersed in it that I register a rush of pheromones too late when a hand reaches out to take the wet dish from me.

Yoongi. Staring at me in a way that makes me feel observed, gently scrutinised as if he's searching for something.

Before I see the tea towel in his hands.

"You don't need to." I say quickly.

Slightly straightening and stiffening as I see the black ears on his head curl inwards and straighten.

Not expecting for him to speak. And that when he speaks for him to be so gentle, so kindly tender.

"I want to. I hope you'll join us for more meals." A low, deep reassuring quality to his voice.

His voice which sends a jolt through my system because it's a voice I know as intimately, as familiarly as my own. It's a voice that has kept me company on long nights, it's a voice that has sweetly and gently lulled me to sleep when it had evaded me, it's a voice that I've heard time and time again but through a speaker, always imagining that endless miles stretched out between us.

Never knowing that I'd get to hear it so close, get to hear it without the barrier, the divide of the radio between us.

Yoongi is Suga.

And the revelation stuns me into silence, has my quietly passing over dishes after I've washed them even if I feel his presence beside me, strong and powerful and so silently demanding.

In another situation, another set of circumstances I would've thanked him, praised him for what he was doing and for giving a voice to the silenced. I suppress that, suppress the urge to dart glances to him, feeling my cheeks warm at being in such close proximity to him, feeling my legs tremble slightly with nerves, hands gripping the dishes tightly. Because Suga is standing beside me.

And because of the kindness he was so easily giving. To give me silent company and his softly express hope to see me join them for meals.

The heat in my cheeks were burning now.

However, it seems like all good things come to an end. All good things can't successfully distract me from the odd, misplaced feeling I was experiencing as I watch the others tug each other to the living room, watch as they murmur between themselves.

And feel my heart clenching when Namjoon asks me to join.

I want to.

But my instincts seem to be pushing and battering against the solid wall I always kept them against. The same wall that had so many cracks and fissures in it these days.

And fled.

As calmy and politely as I could.

I fled. From the sounds of laughter and low chatter, from the heavy consuming fog of pheromones, from the look of understanding that consumed Jin's face.

And fled to the other side of the apartment.

Breathing out deeply when the door shut behind me, the next inhale of air clearer and uncharged with scents. Clean scentless air, carrying only the lightest trails of air freshener. 

Safe. Safe.

Now that the air was lighter, it didn't seem hard to breathe, large deep gulps of air, no longer needing to breathe shallowly to avoid the beginnings of a pheromone rush.

And as I pad to the kitchen, it's to get a glass of water, cheeks still warm and undoubtedly pink because of the realisation that was still dawning, still being processed that Yoongi was Suga. That the same person I'd admired, had been so encouraged and empowered by was just on the other side of the door. The other side of the apartment. Just mere walls dividing us.

I bite my lip to keep back the giddy, excited squeal that threatens to escape, fingers curling tightly against the glass of cold water. 

I hoped that I'd get the courage to tell him one day. That before I left I'd be able to tell Yoongi just how much he'd helped me and was helping countless others.

And then the low soft timbre of his voice speaking not too long ago to me brushed across my mind, feeling starstruck because the person I'd admired had spoken to me, had told me he'd wanted to help. But more than that it felt as if he knew that silence was what I had needed. To be alone with my thoughts and jumbled mind.

He'd given that.

I turn away moving to head towards the kitchen island when there's a knock at the door alongside the ringing of the doorbell. Makes me pause.

Turn my head towards it.

Who could it be at this hour?

But make no move to approach, unsure whether I should answer it or not. Obviously, whoever it was wasn't ringing the door for me. But at the same time was not answering the door a mistake. Not to mention it'd leave a bad impression on the neighbours...their new neighbours.

But as I dither the door knocking gets more louder, more grating against my ears. Irregular loud thumps of knuckles rapping against wood, ringing out in the silence of the apartment.

The boys wouldn't be back yet. Not when they'd mentioned watching a movie. They wouldn't be back for a few hours.

Should I just answer it? 

As the door knocks get louder, interspersed with a few rings my ears begin to twitch, prickly and sensitive to the harsh knocking, the way they seem to be getting louder and louder, legs twitching between the need to ignore it and walk away or move forward and tell whoever was on the other end that the boys were busy and their knocking was just disturbing.

Mind made up because the knocking was beginning to frustrate me, harsh and unforgiving to my hearing, I move towards the door, hand still wrapped around the glass as I pad out towards the entrance hallway, feet moving against smooth flooring.

I approach the door, the sounds of the knocks seeming to becoming wearied and slightly frustrated.

But before I cross the last stretch a voice calls out through the wood. Muffled by the thickness.

"You've got a parcel and letter! I'll leave it outside then, be sure to take it!" the voice calls.

Matronly and gone cranky. Weary and exasperated. Filtered with neighbourly concern..

But that's not what makes me pause.

It's her words that do.

Letter. Parcel.

Letter. Eyes suddenly swimming with unmarked enveloped, with deceptively blank fronts and gruesome contents. 

With reeking scent clinging to it and words written in blood-red.

I feel my stomach churn, nausea making my fullness now stifling and suffocating.

Throat closing up on itself and head swimming, screaming as my instincts fuse with my thoughts, merge until it's one sickening swirling mess, body trembling as I try to force myself out of the frozen stupor, try to fight the numbness that is beginning to seep to each limb, each nerve, making me unable to jerk away.

My hand tightens around the glass, tries to grip it but my hand spasms, going slack and limp as it slips out of my hold, as it goes crashing onto the floor against the smooth floorboards, smashing and splintering if the distant sound is anything to go by.

It's as if the sound yanks me out of my numbness, out of the spiralling of my mind, body jerking away, feet backpedalling to get away from the door, to move away from the sight of it, nausea creeping up my throat at the feeling of being trapped, confined. Nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to flee.

But still my feet futilely backtrack, rush to get away from the door, feet moving backwards over slippery flooring and the crunch of glass under my feet, digging into the sole of the slippers. Still I move to escape as my instincts plead me to, the words registering as a threat.

Unsafe. Unsafe.

I wasn't safe here either. Was I ever going to feel safe again?

The questions make my head pound, throb with agonising, crippling fear, legs shaking as I move back, not knowing when's the exact moment my back hits the wall, when my legs buckle and fold out, drained and exhausted as I slump against the wall, as I desperately curl myself up to become smaller, to try and become a ball. Small means hidden. Small means safe.

And can't stifle the choked sob that escapes tightly pressed lips as I burrow my head into my shoulders, angrily forcing tears back, unwilling to let them fall.

I was sick of this.

Sick and tired of having everything normal ripped away from me.

So lost in my spiral of thoughts that when a low murmur of my name comes from my side I curve up tighter. Distantly and slowly registering the soft murmur, the low quietness of it. The soft quality of it.

"(Y/N)... (Y/N) are you okay? Can you look at me?" the voice asks. Gentle and softly imploring. Disembodied but gently nudging at my senses, gently trying to get me to uncurl.

My arms are stiff, hands clenching tightly to my elbows, body stiff and uncooperative as I try to force my head to rise, to respond to the source of the sweet, soft cotton scent. It feels as if my neck is stiff, bent into place as I raise it, ever so slowly and slightly, eyes finally opening from their clenched position to peer at the person beside me.

Meet soft brown wide eyes that look at me gently, see teeth worrying at a bottom lip and see soft fluffy ears drooped and curved over the side of his face.

Jungkook.

He gives me a soft smile.

"That's right. Take your time." he guides slowly, stiffness easing away under his gentle watchful eyes.

And I unfurl, try to, making a small noise when my body won't cooperate, won't ease up from the stiffness.

There's the sounds of approaching footsteps, of a figure crouching down in my line of vision, expression concerned as he glances at me and Jungkook.

"It was the neighbour. They've left the ingredients parcel and order slip envelope." Jin distractedly informs Jungkook.

His words sink in. A food delivery.

It was a food delivery.

I was this worn out and triggered over a food delivery.

And maybe it's relief, sheer and overwhelming, maybe it's angry pity towards myself for being so worked up over something so little.

But I can't help it.

And burst into tears.

(THERE YOU GO! A SLIGHTLY SHORTER CHAPTER BUT I FELT LIKE IT WAS A GOOD POINT TO END IT AT AND IT'S STILL 4K+ OF HYBRID HURTY FLUFF! SO ENJOY THIS MIXTURE OF EMOTIONS AND PLEASE DO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU MADE OF IT! WHETHER YOU LIKED IT, ENJOYED IT AND ALL YOUR REACTIONS!! I LOVE, LOVE SEEING WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT AND HOW YOU'RE LIKING THE NEW DYNAMICS DEVELOPING! THERE'S MUCH MORE TO COME! AND POOR BABY FAWN JUST IS SO EMOTIONALLY DRAINED AND ALL OVER THE PLACE! I WONDER WHAT THE BOYS WILL THINK, I WONDER WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT! TIME WILL TELL! ENJOY AND STAY SAFE LOVES!)

QUESTION...SOMETHING SOMEONE HAS SAID AND YOU'RE NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHAT TO MAKE OF IT? ANY COMMENT OR STATEMENT...

Mine is...I've been told I look ethnically ambiguous. So I don't know if that's a compliment or not, I just roll with it.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3