I'M NOT SURE where this party is or when it's taking place, I'm guessing sometime in the next couple of days; but in case it's tomorrow I have to be ready. 

Derek and I drove the Jeep back from the tainted forest, but I have to clean it up before I take it into the city. You know, from all of the blood. He's busy in his room so I head out towards the back garage where I find it. I locate a hose and go to work.

The blood is dried to a damn crisp. He has a couple rags and random sprays in his garage, I have no idea what they do, but I bet they'll get the job done. I hope. 

2 fucking hours later. 

Yeah this Jeep is a fucking mess. I don't even know why I bothered. 

Yes, yes I do. I have a goal here. 

I've given up on everything I've ever tried in my life, that's probably why my dad noticeably despised me so much. My sister, Natalie, could do everything. She was 'smart' and 'talented.' My parents words, not mine. I tried drama, choir, clarinet lessons, (What loser wants to take clarinet lessons?) but none of it interested me; so I said fuck it. It angered my parents to no end. Well, my dad. My mom just felt bad for me. But I didn't need her fucking sympathy. 

"Honey, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you." 

"It's not that mom, it just didn't interest me. I could do it if I wanted to. I just don't want to."

"Oh, so you're just fucking lazy? Is that it?" My dad would say, eavesdropping from the couch, where he sat, doing fucking nothing may I add. 

I would grit my teeth, "No, I just told you. They don't interest me."

"Well, what does interest you then, Eleanor? Because, I never see you doing fucking anything. So, what would you like to do? Tell me, I'm intrigued." He would get up in my face.

"I'll find something, alright? Now get out of my face, please." But that just makes him get closer and closer.

"Oh, I'm sure. Look at your sister. Top of her track team, just got a first place trophy in her debate competition, studying hard every night, 4.2 GPA. You're here saying, oh I'll find something soon. Well find it fucking quicker!" He spits in my face. "It's embarrassing."

"Fuck this place." I would muffle under my breath, not knowing why that couldn't wait. He would turn back around slowly. 

"Excuse me?" Steam could be blowing from his ears at that moment. "Fuck the place that puts a roof over your head? That feeds you? Is that a joke, missy?!"

"I'm sorry.." I tried to spit out, but he was already coming at me with full force, pinning me to the wall, hand on my throat.

"You ungrateful shit!" And with that, I feel his rings pierce into my cheek, hitting the bruise already present from a couple days ago. I winced in pain. When I don't react, I get three more hits to the face. That was the thing with my dad, he wanted to see me feeling the pain. The last hit is with a fist, and I feel blood pile in my mouth. I stumbled onto the floor, as I hear his muffled yells in the background. I just remember looking up at my mom in those few seconds. She looked worried, but did nothing. She never did anything. 

I don't know why I ever wondered if leaving was the right choice. 

I'm so fucking happy I'm gone. 

I return from my daydream, I don't know how long I've been staring into space with this hose on, but the huge puddle on the ground makes it seem like a while. I get back to work. I want to go to this party. I want Derek. 

This, I'm going to finish.