Dream about it. You and me on a road trip, with only the sun, the wind and we can kiss in a parking lot and cause a riot.

1. How Bizarre. OMC.
2. I Want You To Want Me. Letters To Cleo.
3. Truly Madly Deeply. Savage Garden.
4. Waterfalls. TLC.
5. I Melt With You. Modern English.
6. Attention. Newjeans.
7. 1985. Blowing For Soup.
8. Perfect Storm. Inhaler.
9. Semi-Charmed Life. Third Eye Blind.
10. Kiss Me. Sixpence None The Richer.

11. She's Electric. Oasis.
12. Head Over Heels. The Go-Go's.
13. Somebody Like You. Keith Urban.
14. The Weakness In Me. Joan Armatrading.
15. Shake Some Action. Cracker.
16. This Love. Taylor Swift.
17. Move Along. The All-American Rejects.
18. Jinx. Green Day.
19. I Believe In A Thing Called Love. The Darkness.
20. What I Like About You. The Romantics.

I have spent much of the years that I can rant about myself the reasons why there is no way I can be attached to someone. Saying it like that sounds pretty awful, honestly, it wasn't the message I wanted to write. What I mean is that a lot of people say I'm a hard mess to love (with people, I'm talking about my mom) And I guess I get it. I like being in love, it's so weird, I think I once compared it to being about to throw up before giving a speech and my brother called me a creep, but wouldn't listen when I tried to explain it to him! Love is strange and confusing, it turns your stomach and makes you see things and it's the peak of the nerves that tie up in your intestines which cause that feeling of euphoria and somehow as the minutes go by that disappears and turns into a huge cloud of pleasure and happiness. I didn't mind feeling it because I didn't even have time to, I was completely given and too happy to pay attention to the fatality of the matter, I wanted to stop thinking like that, Patrick told me more than once, that I'm too doom and gloom and that a big black cloud is always over me, but I didn't listen to him, or at least not enough.

Love is like a cat, tender and fluffy, but when you least expect it can claw at your flesh with its tusks and suck all the blood out of your system. Patrick was a fucking cat and left his stupid tusk buried in my forehead, how can I even think of forgiving him after everything he said to me? What he did? Hello? He left me out cold on the street after he basically threw rat poison in my face. It's been a few weeks, Barbara says to forget it but how can I when I still see him? In the bottom of my mind, in the wretched hallways and in Ms. Perky's office (Apparently, going there became a habit) And you know what the worst thing is? He looks at me! As if waiting for a beggarly word to come out of my mouth, with his irritatingly cute dimples and his eyes, that once only looked at me.

I don't know if missing him will be temporary, I hope so. Or else I think the brief time we have left in Padua will be the most unbearable of all time. Turning that student building into a complete hell with its hierarchies and rules.

Maureen's Journal, (1999)