Ineffable wives fluff because I've only done one angst story with them

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"Hi, uh... Azur .. er........"

"Aziraphale," the angel said, smiling.

"But religious, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Aziraphale said. "My family, uh, were religious folks."

The interviewer narrowed his eyes at the woman, clicking his pen multiple times. Aziraphale smiled under the immense pressure of his gaze, and cleared her throat.

"W-Well, if you don't have anymore questions-"

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" He interrupted.

"On my bench in St. James park with Crowley, braiding her hair neatly while she throws bread at ducks," Aziraphale said. "Same as always."

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"Dammit... another job lost...." Aziraphale sighed as her heels clicked against the rough pavement. "Better tell Crowley...."

The angel tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as it fell from her bun. Just as Crowley answered, she patted her baby bangs smooth and smiled widely.

"Hello, dear," Aziraphale said.

"It's over," Crowley sniffed.

"W-What?"

"Me and Chad," she whined. "He said a human and a demon aren't supposed to be together, and he told me to wipe his memory of me..."

"Oh... I'm so sorry, my dear," Aziraphale said.

"He was cheating on me with another human," Crowley continued.

She sounded odd. Defeated, in a way, a kind of sad that said, 'I can't even please a human'. She did not miss Chad, either, she was hurt that he left in the first place. For a human, at that.

"Where are you?" Aziraphale asked, furrowing her brow.

"My building's roof, why?"

"I'll be over in 10," said the other, hanging up.

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By the time Aziraphale reached the roof, she had walked up 8 flights of stairs, a lot for an angel like her.

"Angel?" Crowley whipped her head around.

"Ah, hello Crowley," she brushed the bottom of her dress and sat down next to her. "How are you feeling?"

"Horrible," the demon sighed. "How about you? How'd the interview go?"

"I... uh, I didn't get it," Aziraphale said.

"I guess ethereal beings just don't belong on earth anywhere, do they?" Crowley sighed, glancing at Aziraphale through her round sunglasses.

"If you'd take those off you could see the stars better," she said. "I don't think you need them at night, do you?"

"Yeah, they are kind of a bother aren't they?" Crowley sniffed, folding them into her pocket. "Sorry for calling you up here on such short notice, I know you had an interview tonight."

"So... did you erase Chad's memory?" Aziraphale asked.

"Yeah, a fee minutes before you came up here," she sighed, wiping her eyes. "I don't know what the side effects are. Hopefully he's driving and passes out or something."

"That's terrible, dear," Aziraphale frowned. "I know you liked him a lot, and it was wrong to break up with you like that, but y-"

"I didn't like him," Crowley said. "I was with him to make someone jealous. But I was supposed to break up with him, and then it got complicated when I accidentally performed a miracle in front of him."

"I-"

"I think what bothers me the most is that I don't miss him. And that I'm not rebounding. I just feel awful."

"Don't yo-"

"Maybe I'm not good enough for anyone. If a human didn't want me, then why would you? I was being ridiculous when I thought you might have attraction towards me, because you're so uppity... heaveny...  whatever.... ," Crowley took a sip of her libation. "And then you just-you just go around, grabbing the attention of all the men with your stupid crystal eyes and your fuckin' cute-ass clothes and your silky hair and... fuck, I don't know anymore. Perhaps I should take some time away from earth."

"Crowley, perhaps you should stop drinking," Aziraphale took the cup from her and scooted closer. "Take a deep breath. Sober up in the next few minutes, please, and don't talk like that again."

"Like what?" Crowley rested her head on Aziraphale's shoulder.

"Complimenting me like that," the angel scoffed. "Don't lead me on."

"I'm not leading you on," she frowned.

"Yes you are. You need to sleep, for at least 16 hours, and then eat something," Aziraphale miracled a blanket around them and sighed.

"Fine," Crowley hissed, pushing against Aziraphale as much as possible. "Can't you make yourself warmer?"

Aziraphale focused on raising her body temperature, closing her eyes. "There you go. Now, dear, please go to sleep."

"G'night," she said.

"Sweet dreams," Aziraphale smiled, pressing her lips on top of her hair before leaning against the brick wall of the chimney behind them. "Don't let the bed bugs bite."

"We aren't in a bed, you know," Crowley said.

"Go the fuck to sleep," Aziraphale nudged her.

"Sweet dreams," The demon mocked, not seeming to register when Aziraphale said the fuck-word.

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When they woke up, Crowley was covered in pigeons.

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Haha I suck at writing lmao

Okay see you next time

The gnat left