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Chapter Theme:

Dahan - December Avenue

Braylee

         The 6-hour drive to Wilkinson City came by so fast; I guess Denver and I got so caught up with talking and messing around that we didn't even notice the time or the distance. And this 6-hour drive made me realize one thing—that my heart still flutters to the Thorn of Rosepike University.

         My heart flutters at the sight of his smile, the way his eyes seemed to sparkle with happiness, the way his little baritone laugh floods my ear, and the way he makes me feel like I'm the most precious thing in this world even if I'm not.

        My feelings for him... It's back. It's back and it's stronger than ever.

        Does this mean I love him again? or did I even stop loving him? Perhaps yes, perhaps no, but what can do when my feelings are so difficult to assess? Am I really feeling this or is it just my mind playing tricks with my heart? God, I'm over-thinking again.

       "Natahimik ka bigla?" tanong ni Denver kaya para akong nahimasmasan.

       "I just remembered something," I giggled, looking at him as he drove.

        "You're not thinking about some other guy, are you?" Denver asked, there's a smile on his face but there's a hint of bitterness in his voice. Oh Denbear.

        "I'm thinking about Riley," I joked.

        "I knew it!" he sighed. "That guy was just pretending to be gay just to get closer to you!" he added, but I could tell he was just kidding around. All of us can tell that Riley is really into dudes, sometimes I could even notice him admiring Hawthorn's face.

         "Ba't ako agad?" I laughed. "It could be Piper, I mean Piper's such a hottie, guys drool over her. I even had a girl crush on her before we became best friends! It won't be a surprise if someone pretends to be gay just to get closer to her," I said and that's when Denver glanced at me again, giving me a questioning look.

         "Do I have to worry over that girl crush of yours?" he said.

         "Piper?" I laughed. "We're like sisters! And she's got someone in her life already. I just really really really hope he's the right one for her because Piper is more than what everyone says," I explained.

         "What are you talking about?" Denver got curious.

        I smiled. "Everyone sees Piper as this hot sorority girl that always goes to parties and likes to fool around with guys—but she's not. She's this Mom-kind-of-friend that loves to dress up and party with her friends. Piper's reputation at school was really different compared to what she actually is. I see her as my mom-like-friend, but everyone else thinks she's some hot bad chick. I really don't like how the other people at Filimon Heights perceive her. I mean, my little heart doesn't hold grudges but nakakainis lang talaga yung mga nang-away kay Piper noon," I sighed.

         "Was that the reason why you had a fight with someone two years ago?" Denver chuckled in amazement.

         "Hala paano mo nalaman yun?" my eyes grew wide.

         "Told you that already, I have a spy at your school. I knew what you were doing while I was away. Medyo gago nga lang yung spy ko kasi ayaw niyang gulpihin yung mga lalakeng pumo-porma sayo habang wala ako, ayaw niya ring awayin yung nakasabunutan mo," Denver chuckled. "Ni minsan hindi ko inakalang darating ang araw na makikipagsabunutan ka. Ni ayaw mo ngang magmura noon, makipagsabunutan pa kaya?"

         I sighed at the memory of my very first fight. "I couldn't believe myself too when it happened but it was just such a bad year for me—I was still mourning from my brother's death, you weren't around and you cut off all communication, Warren's sick, Riley's getting harsh treatment from his dad, Lucho was everyone's gossip topic because of his attempted suicide, and then there were those girls who messed with piper—so I snapped. Bye bye strong independent cutie braylee, hello warfreak braylee. I wasn't proud of what I did okay? And to be honest ang sakit din talaga manabunot ng babaeng nakaaway ko." Napahawak ako sa likod ng ulo ko. "Para ngang masakit pa ang ulo ko hanggang ngayon dahil dun."

        "I'm sorry," Denver said, the tone of his voice sounded so sad. "I should've been there, but instead I became one of the reasons why you suffered."

        "But you're back now, right? And you won't do it again? I mean, leave me hanging..." I smiled with hope. "If you want to leave me, you can just always tell me, just don't lie to me and cut off all contact. We'll end in good terms, yung normal goodbye lang." I suggested.

         "I already told you braylee, I'm not leaving you again. I'm here to stay whether you like it or not," he said, assuring me.

         "Okay, Denbear!" I playfully exclaimed, poking his cheek.

         "Aray," he whined.

         "Hala sorry!" I panicked the moment I realized I poke him where Apollo's punch landed.

          He chuckled, glancing at me for a second. "You owe me one kiss!"

        "I owe you nothing, Denver Glenn Hawthorn," I said with pride.

        "And I'll just kiss you then," he suggested.

          "Bastos!" I whined.

          Denver chuckled as he continued to drive. "Hinalikan mo ako kanina, edi bastos ka rin!"

          "It was just a small peck! An innocent kiss! Hindi Momol!" giit ko. Naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng pisngi ko. I could tell that my cheeks are already burning red.

          "What do you know about Momol, Braylee Emanuel?" Denver laughed like he doesn't believe my words.

        "It's been three years, Denver. I know the slangs! I've never made out with someone yet but I know what Momol means. Make-out Make-out lang, diba?" I said with pride, a smirk on my face.

          "Sige nga, sample!" panghahamon ni Denver habang may ngisi sa kanyang mukha.

          "Sige ba!" I yelled in annoyance and that's when Denver suddenly pulled over on the side of the road, my heart fluttered but this time in shock.

          As the engine stopped, Denver looked at my direction with a smirk on his face.

          I was in shock but I still couldn't help but laugh. "Asa ka naman. Continue driving, Denver Hawthorn if you don't want to get killed by my Dad."

         Denver sighed, shaking his head in defeat. He looked so cute that I decided to just kiss him in his cheek instead. And that was enough to make him smile and drive again.

        "You really know how to mess with me, Braylee Emanuel." He chuckled.

        "You still love me anyways," I chuckled.

         "Damn right I do," he said, glancing at me with a smile on his face, his other hand holding mine.

***

         "So this is the house?" Denver asked as we both stood right in front of the two-story house with a for sale sign on its lawn.

         "I guess?" I smiled, holding his hand tight.

         "Don't you have any memories here?" he asked again.

          I shook my head with a pout. "Siguro baby pa nga talaga ako nang tumira kami rito. Siguro si Kuya ang may memories dito."

        "Even now, you're still a baby," Denver chuckled.

          "I'm not! I'm just a strong independent cutie!" I retorted.

          "Whatever you say dumbaby teddy," Denver said, playfully dragging me inside the house. Luckily, Reika was able to give us the key to this house—her grandpa turns out to be an old politician in this city so she had great connections here.

***

         All I could do was imagine our old life as we got inside the house. I imagined Kuya Brian as a kid running down the stairs as my Dad followed him around, yelling at him to stop being so mischievous. I imagined my Mom, standing in the living room, carrying me around as a baby. I wonder how many special memories happened in this place, how many firsts, how many lasts.

        The house if fully furnished for the buyer so Denver and I had no problem with looking around the house.

       "Look at this Teddy," Denver looked excited as he dragged me towards under the stairs. He found something.

       "Oh my God," all I could do was smile in amazement as I saw some carvings on the wall. On the left side was the name Brian, on the right was Braylee; and by the looks of it, it seems like Mom and Dad were measuring our heights and progress by using the wall and marking it. 

       The carvings on the side of my name were too little indicating that I was too young when they were measuring my height, and I was too young when they stopped. Perhaps this was the time when we left this city. 

       "We'll do this too when we have kids," Denver chuckled as he placed his arm around my shoulder.

        "Huh?" I was taken aback by what he said.

        "Measure their heights by carving the wall. Or if you want, we could just live here and preserve your family's memory. We could measure our kids' height on that side of the room. What do you think?" he asked.

         I'd love to speak the truth and remind Denver that I have ALS; that I can't be with him for a long time; that I may not be able to have kids; that I'm living on numbered days. But something about the sparkle in his eyes convinced me to play along with his fantasy... that deep down, this is what I want too--a happy life with him.

        "I want us to live in Filimon Heights, where it all started. Plus, all of our friends and loved ones are there." I said, putting my hand around his waist, looking up at him with a smile.

       "Hindi pa tayo, pero nagpa-plano na tayo. Ano nalang kaya kung tayo na?" Denver chuckled as he looked down on my eyes.

       "Pinaulit-ulit mo talaga yung word na tayo," I chuckled.

      "Just planting the thought on your mind," he chuckled. "It's already 2am, go to sleep, Teddy. There's still some furniture upstairs when I checked it. You can sleep there while i'll just sleep in the couch," he said.

       "Three years later and you're still the gentleman that you are," I smiled, patting his back.

       "Just trying to impress you," he joked.

****

         I woke up to the call of my parents asking me how i'm doing. I told them I'm sleeping over at Reika's house, they have no idea that i'm in our old house. I don't know what will piss them off more, the fact that I'm in our old house where they don't want me to be or the fact that I am with Denver instead of being in a sleepover.

       I went down the stairs and Denver was nowhere to be found. I glanced at the clock and it was just 6 in the morning. I was about to call him when I received his text.

Denbear:

Went out to get breakfast. Don't run around too much, teddy.

You:

Yes kuya

Denbear:

Oh come on...

        I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. I wish I could see his face right now.

      I wanted to look around the garden but as I went out the house, I noticed an old lady from the house next to us. She's standing next to the fence, looking around as if she's inspecting something.

     "Good Morning!" I greeted her with a smile as I walked towards her.

     "Kayo ba yung bagong may ari ng bahay?" she asked with a smile. She seemed like a really nice and sweet old lady.

      Hanggang dibdib lang namin ang fence kaya naman parang magkaharap lang kami.

      I scratched my head and smiled. "A-actually po anak po ako ng dating may-ari. Gusto ko lang pong makita ang bahay bago ito mabenta sa iba."

      "Ha? Edi ikaw si Braylee!" the old lady exclaimed in shock but the smile on her face is still there, actually it got bigger, as if she's really happy to see me. "Ang laki laki mo na! Kay gandang bata!" she said, holding both of my cheeks as she looked at me lovingly.

       "Th-thank you po," nalilito man, nanatili akong nakangiti sa kanya. 

       "Sabi nila noon hindi ka na mabubuhay pero heto ka sa harapan ko at buhay na buhay. Bagay na bagay talaga sa'yo ang pangalan mo;  isa kang sinag na pag-asa. Tama nga ang desisyon ng Nanay mo na pangalanan kang Braylee. Masaya akong makita ka,. Nabalitaan ko yung nangyari sa kuya mo--"

      "A-anong hindi na po ako mabubuhay? Anong ibig mo pong sabihin?" I asked in a fit of confusion and shock. What is she talking about?

***

    "Ba't andito ka sa labas?" tanong ni Denver nang maabutan niya akong nakatulala sa hardin.

    "I-I really need to go home and talk to my parents about something," I smiled. "Can we go back to Filimon Heights after breakfast?"

    "Ako nga rin eh," Denver smiled. "Mamayang gabi raw kasi ang dating ni Papa sa Filimon Heights. Kakausapin ko siya tungkol sa kundisyon mo."

***

      It was already afternoon when we got back to Filimon Heights. After dropping me off at my house, Denver drove to his Dad's townhouse to wait for him.

     "Mom? Dad?" I was yelling my way inside the house, scaring them.

     "Bakit?! Anong nangyari?!" Mom asked in a worried tone as she sat up from the sofa.

     "Mom is it true?! Please stop lying to me! Stop keeping secrets from me!" I couldn't hide my disappointment any longer. It's the first time that I've ever raised my voice to them. My hands are starting to tremble as my hearbeat grew intense. 

    "What are you talking about, princess?" Dad asked as he got out of the kitchen. He looked alarmed.

    "Is it true?! Is it true that I have a brain tumor?!" This time, I could not stop my tears from falling.

     "W-who told you that?" Mom began to cry.

     "Mom, is it true?!" I asked once more, even if it meant raising my voice.

    Mom looked at Dad, crying. But Dad seemed to be more calm; calm even if there's this look of dread in his face. "It's time we tell her the truth," Dad said as if accepting defeat.

***

    "You were just a toddler when the doctors found out that you had a brain tumor. It was a benign brain tumor, it wasn't cancerous but it could still affect your life." Dad said as the three of us sat in the living room, with Mom still crying.

     I covered my mouth in shock. The truth hurts but seeing my Mom cry and my Dad close to tears is more painful.

     "You went into several treatments. We went to every healer we know, even spiritual healers. We were so desperate that we allowed your Neurosurgeon to perform a risky operation. Your Brain Tumor was near your vital nerves that one wrong move in the operation would've gotten you killed. Your doctor was able to take out part of your brain tumor, but part of it remained. We were scared to lose you that we decided to stop the operation."

      "S-so you mean, all this time, you knew I have a brain tumor in my head?" I cried.

      "Taking out the rest of the tumor could've gotten you killed Braylee and we didn't want to have that risk again!" Mom said, holding my hands tight.

      "So that's why you've been overprotective of me my entire life? Because of my brain tumor?" I asked as I began to connect every dots. It all makes sense now. Why I keep losing my balance ever since I was young; why I suddenly lose the strength in my body; why I'm having trouble with my focus.

      "Your Neurosurgeon told us that there's a thin chance that your brain tumor would grow back so we decided to never talk about it again. We wanted you to live a normal life so we moved away from Wilkinson City to live a new life, away from it all," Dad explained.

      "Did my current doctor knew about my medical history? That I have a brain tumor?" I asked both of them. 

      Mom and Dad both looked at each other, Dad began to shake his head. "When you began to show symptoms of ALS just like Brian, we knew that it was possible... that you could have ALS too. The possibility of having ALS and the fact that you have a brain tumor.... Braylee it would've been torture for you so we never talked about your Brain Tumor. We... we hid it from your Doctor." Dad said.

       I wiped my tears with my trembling hands. "On the way here I've done research about brain tumors and it said that brain tumors could mislead medical results... I never remembered having a CT scan. What if... What if my ALS is a misdiagnosis?" my tears continued to drop. "What if it's not ALS? What if it's the brain tumor all along?" I asked.

      "Let's go to the hospital," Dad said, grabbing the keys of his car.

****

THIRD PERSON'S POV

         "Sir, sir andito na ho si Doc..." nagising si Denver sa boses ng kanilang katulong. Bumangon siya at natagpuan niya ang kanyang sarili sa sofa. Hindi niya namalayang nakatulog pala siya sa kahihintay sa pagdating ng kanyang ama. Napasulyap siya napakalaking estante ng orasan at napailing-iling na lamang siya nang makitang alas-onse na ng gabi.

       "Oh andiyan ka pala Denver?" gulat na sambit ng ama sabay abot ng briefcase na dala sa kanyang katulong. Natutuwa siyang makita ang bunsong anak.

       "I've been calling you all week! I have to talk to you about something!" Iritadong sambit ni Denver bagay na nakasanayan na ng kanyang ama. Ngumiti lamang ito at napailing-iling.

      "Pasensya ka na, nag-extend kasi yung conference tapos pinatingnan ko pa sa isang espesyalista ang Kuya mo. Ano palang pag-uusapan natin?" tanong nito dahilan para unti-unting mawala ang inis sa mukha ni Denver.

      "It's about my girlfriend," lumambot ang ekspresyon at bumakas ang pag-aalala sa kanyang boses. 

      "You have a girlfriend?" kunot-noong sambit ng kanyang ama.

      Bakas ang desperasyon sa mukha ni Denver. "She has ALS and I need you to heal her. I need you to keep her alive. You are neurosurgeon right? Then do whatever it takes to keep her healthy and alive. All my life I have never asked you for anything so just this once, please do this. Keep her alive. I'm begging you... please, heal  Braylee." At sa unang pagkakataon sa loob ng napakatagal na panahon, hindi galit ang pinakita ni Denver sa kanyang ama kundi pagsusumamo at pagpapakumbaba.

      Labis ang gulat ng ama ni Denver sa narinig. Hindi niya inaasahan ang inasal ng anak. Ilang sandali siyang hindi nakaimik at nanatiling nakatitig sa mga mata ng bunsong anak. Ngunit bigla niyang naalala ang pangalang binanggit nito. 

     "Braylee? Braylee Emanuel? Yung kaibigan ng kuya mo?" tanong nito. "That doesn't make sense?" dagdag pa nito.

     "Wala ka nang pakialam sa relasyon namin! She has ALS and I need you to help her! You're not the best father but I know that you are a brilliant Neurosurgeon so please, I am begging you, help Braylee!" muling giit ni Denver.

      "No, I mean it doesn't make sense because Braylee used to be my patient. And she has a Brain tumor, not ALS?" kunot noong sambit ng kanyang ama.

      "A-ano?" kumunot ang noo ni Denver. Bakas ang kalituhan at gulat sa kanyang mukha.

      Mabilis na naglakad ang doctor patungo sa kanyang opisina kaya naman mabilis na sumunod sa kanya si Denver. Nang marating ang opisina, kinuha ng doktor ang isang lumang kahon mula sa kanyang cabinet at inilabas mula rito ang isang lumang folder na may pangalan ni Braylee.

      Binuksan ni Denver ang foler at nakita niya ang litrato ni Braylee noong dalawang taong gulang pa lamang ito.

      "When your brother first introduced her, I knew her name sounded familiar. I dug up my files and realized that she was my youngest patient ever, her case was what built my career. I tried taking out her brain tumor but part of it remained. Continuing the operation was too risky and her parents didn't want her to die---" hindi na natapos pa ng doktor ang kanyang sinasabi nang bigla na lamang tumunog ang cellphone ni Denver. At nang makitang nagpadala si Braylee nang mensahe sa kanya, mabilis niya itong binasa.

Teddy:

I need to talk to you... 

I'm here at the expression alley

         Hindi na nag-aksaya ng sandali si Denver. Pagkatapos ng narinig mula sa kanyang ama at dahil sa mensahe narin ng dalaga, mabilis siyang nagtatakbo palabas ng bahay at patungo sa kanyang sasakyan.

*****

          Humahangos at tagaktak ang pawis ni Denver habang tumatakbo sa eskinita na nalulunog sa kulay asul na ilaw. Isa lang ang nasa isip niya at iyon ay marating si Braylee. 

          Habang tumatakbo, narinig niya ang pagtunog ng kanyang cellphone kaya naman mabilis niya itong sinagot. Unti-unting bumagal ang galaw ng kanyang mga paa nang maulinigan ang boses ni Braylee mula sa kabilang linya.

         "B-braylee?" napalunok si Denver habang hinahabol ang hininga.

        "H-hey..." mahinang sambit ni Braylee mula sa kabilang linya.

         Imbes na tumakbo, mabilis na naglakad si Denver patungo sa lugar kung saan sila dapat magkikita ni Braylee. "M-my Dad! My dad used to be your surgeon! He was--"

        "Oo nga eh," natawa ito. "Nalaman ko rin kanina. So I guess you know about my tumor now?" tanong pa nito.

        Bago pa man makapagsalita si Denver, muli nang nagsalita si Braylee. "I went to the doctor earlier. My hunch was right... I didn't have ALS, it was my brain tumor all along. I should be happy right?"

       "Braylee..." nasapo ni Denver ang noo at napatingala sa kalangitan dahil sa bigat ng kalooban.

       "I was really happy when the Doctor told me that I don't have ALS... but then there's the fact that I have a brain tumor and it has grown, no wonder the symptoms has gone worse," Braylee said with her sweet tone but when she laughed, there was bitterness in her voice.

       "W-we can get through this... You can get through this," Denver says as he walked faster.

       "There's so many stars in the sky tonight, Denver," she said.

        "Yeah, but you're prettier than them," Denver retorted even if he was in a rush and frustration is obvious in his face. 

        "I love you," Braylee said from the other line, making him stop from his tracks. "These past few days with you made me realize and remember how much I love you.... and how lucky I am to have met Denver Glenn Hawthorn, the Thorn of Rosepike University, The Mortal Enemy of my Warennie, and my Denbear."

        "Say it to my face when I get there," he said, shaking his head. For some reason, dread is starting to consume him. There's something about the cold night sky and Braylee's voice that's making him feel like he's about to lose in the biggest game of his life.

         "I'm sorry for ever trying to forget about you. I'm sorry for trying to unlove you. But if you ask me again, I think I never even stopped loving you. I think it was just my mind winning against my heart," Braylee continued frustrating Denver even more.

         "I'm almost there," Denver said, his voice filled with forlorn.

         "Look at the stars.... There are so many stars in the sky tonight but yet they don't seem to allign for us," Braylee said. Her voice growing weaker by the second. Denver looks up at the sky once more and this time his eyes began to brim with tears.

        "Goodnight, Love..." Braylee said from the other line.

         For some reason, Braylee's words made Denver stop at his tracks once more. With trembling hands, Denver held his phone tighter towards his ear. Pain and Sadness couldn't even begin to describe the look on his face.

        "Braylee?" Denver asked, but this time there was only silence on the other line. 

END OF CHAPTER 66!

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