60 : Dwindle
NO SPOILERS PLEASE! EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO HAVE A SPOILER-FREE READING EXPERIENCE. AND I THANK YOUUUUU! HAHAHA
Chapter Theme:
Kahit di mo alam - December Avenue
Braylee
Paypah:
How's it going?
You:
I'm stuck inside the office photocopying an entire box of documents
the machine is my new best friend by the way
Paypah:
U traitor!!!
hahaha
that's okay, you're the newbie and its only your first day
You:
I'm losing my mind here, P
Tapos kailangan ko pa raw mag-overtime mamaya huhu
Paypah:
Losing your mind?
Dahil sa boredom o dahil kay Denver?
You:
Neither
Hayyy maybe I should just review for the board exam
Paypah:
Work and review at the same time. I know you can do it.
You:
Thanks P
"Have some snacks, hija," sabi ng supervisor ko sabay abot sa akin ng isang paper bag. It's a good thing napakabait sakin ng mga tao rito at may sarili pa akong desk at workspace. Siguro nga tama si Piper, siguro pansamantala lang 'tong desk duty ko. Who knows, baka bukas pwede na ako sa field kasama ang mga puno na gusto kong alagaan.
***
It's already 7pm and I'm alone in the office, mabuti nalang talaga at maya't maya kong nakikita ang guard na dumadaan sa pinto at rumuronda. Nang matapos ako sa inaayos kong mga papeles, sinuot ko na ulit ang denim jacket ko at pinaibabaw ito sa dress ko. Kinuha ko ang mga gamit ko saka nagpaalam na sa guard.
I smiled as I got out of the building, the sky is filled with stars again and the summer night is blowing cold air. I could hear the crickets from the bushes and the rustling leaves . All of these are giving me great comfort. Sayang nga lang at hindi umaandar ang blue lights sa paligid, ano kayang problema?
I skipped happily throughout the pathway. But as I got on the gate, I was surprised to see Denver sitting on the hood of his car, waiting for me. He's parked right below the lamp post, allowing me to clearly see the smile on his face as we both locked eyes.
"Denver, we talked about this," I tried to sound gentle as I walked towards him but I couldn't bring myself to smile. I may not love him the same as in the past but pushing him away isn't easy for me too.
Denver got off the hood of his car and handed me a small lamp. "I know but 10 minutes. Just give me 10 minutes, Braylee."
"For what?" My eyebrows furrowed.
"10 minutes," he pleaded as he tried to hand me the lamp again.
****
Haji's right, I really can't say no, figuratively— I thought to myself as I followed Denver along the pathway, both of us holding small lamps that give off blue lights. The rustling of the leaves and dancing trees grew stronger as the cold summer night's wind continued to blow. The darkness is stronger than the light in our lamps, I could only the see the shadows of the trees that surround us.
"Aray!" napasigaw ako nang bigla akong matisod at mapaluhod sa pathway na gawa sa semento. Mabilis akong dinaluhan ni Denver at tinulungan sa pagtayo.
"Are you okay?" he sounded really concerned, and that's when I realized that he was already holding my hand.
"Yeah," I chuckled as I pulled my hand away from him.
I started walking, this time passing by him, this time leading the way.
Moments later I began to hear the waves crashing in the shore. I guess he's taking me to the cliff which held most of our dearest memories. As the trees around us grew thin, the stars became visible again. But before we could reach the field of roses by the side of cliff, I stopped to my tracks.
"Be honest with me, what are you doing?" I asked as I faced him. We were in the middle of the dark forest, holding little blue light lamps that only illuminated ourselves and the path we're standing.
Denver placed his lamp on the ground and took a step forward. "After a year of looking for my Maternal family, I finally found them and none of them had Fatal Insomnia. It turns out, what my Mom had was Sporadic Fatal Insomnia. I went to New York where the only specialists for Fatal Inomnia were, I took some tests and even if took for a year, the results came back negative. I don't have any Fatal Insomnia gene or any fucking disease or disorder at all. I didn't inherit my mom's disease. I'm not sick. All along I was perfectly healthy, Braylee." He said as if he took another step towards me again. Inches part, he grabbed my hands and held it tight, still looking directly into my eyes. His hands were cold but I still found comfort in them. But I'd be lying if I say that my heart still feels the same.
"And God knows how much I prayed for you to be healthy and alive. I'm so happy for you, Denver. I really am," I smiled as I looked back at his eyes.
"Then let's be together again," he pleaded, kissing my hands.
I shook my ahead, trying to be gentle as I can with my actions and words. "I can't be with you anymore, Denver" I admitted and in that moment the light in his eyes seemed to dwindle. I felt bad to hurt him over and over again like this but it's better than to keep him hanging, the way he left me hanging three years ago.
"G-gumaganti ka ba sakin?" He asked, despair in his voice. His words triggered so many bad memories i've kept on the back of my head.
In that moment I felt my tears stream down from my eyes. "Inaamin ko, sobra akong nasaktan nang umalis ka nang hindi nagpapaalam. Nagalit ako nang hindi ka na nagparamdam o sumagot man lang sa mga mensahe at tawag ko. Galit na galit ako nun Denver kasi sobrang sakit eh," I cried, pointing my heart. "Alam kong umalis ka kasi kailangan mong gawin yun para sa sarili mo kaso ba't ganun? Kahit mahirap, pilit kong inintindi... Kaso pinutol mo ang lahat ng ugnayan natin eh. Hindi mo alam kung gaano kasakit 'yun para sakin. At least one message from you, that was all I wanted, but that never happened.Denver my brother just died and it was such a dark period of my life, and you made it even more darker. But It's okay because I forgive you now." Tumango-tango ako at mas mahigpit na hinawakan ang mga kamay niya. Tears continued to stream down my face as I smiled. "I've forgiven you a long time ago and I'm not mad anymore. It's all in the past Denver, and I'm okay now."
"I'm sorry, Braylee. I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry" Denver said as he quickly wiped off my tears. "I was scared and confused. My Mom suffered so much from FFI, I suffered so much from seeing her suffer and I didn't you to go through that pain especially because you just lost your brother. I wanted to answer your calls and messages, I wanted to see you, I wanted to be with you but I know I couldn't risk it. It seemed like the only right thing to do... I wanted to return and be with you after I make sure I'll really get to be with you. I wanted to return to you with a promise that i'll never leave you again. And now I can," Denver cupped my face as he kissed me lightly, "I can finally be with you Braylee. Just give me another chance to make things right. Just let me be with you again,"
I took a step away from him as I wiped my tears. "I can't be with you, Denver."
"Why?!" Desperation was in his voice. "Give me a reason why you can't be with me!"
I took a deep breath as I tried to control my voice. I wanted to stay calm and gentle. I don't want to raise my voice, otherwise we'd end up screaming at each other and I don't want that to happen. I don't want us to fight. "Denver, I feel a different kind of love for you now. I don't love you that way anymore and it would be unfair for you." I admitted as tears continued to stream down my eyes.
Denver walked towards me again. He held my cheeks lovingly. "Then i'll work hard to earn your love again, Braylee! I will do whatever it takes for you to love me again! Just don't push me away! Please?" He pleaded innocently, this time I could tell he was already crying. He was about to kneel so I quickly pulled him up.
"Denver, you have to let me go," I pleaded too.
"It's not enough!" He shook his head. "Give me another reason why you can't be with me!" he cried, holding my hands tight.
I took a deep breath as I pulled my right hand away from him. I wiped the tears in his cheeks using my hands and continued to look at him in the eyes.
"Denver, I have ALS too," I admitted calmly as I cried uncontrollably. Telling him the truth is opening the gateway of pain in my heart again.
"What?" Denver's eyebrows furrowed as he gasped. Shaking his head, I felt his hands tremble and turn cold. "Braylee, don't lie to me like this! If lying is your way of pushing me away then stop! You win! I'll let you go just don't lie to me like this!"
"It's already too late for us, Denver." I sobbed, my lips felt like falling into an uncontrollable pout. "Last year, I tested positive for ALS. It's the truth, Denver. I would never lie to you like this. Just please don't tell my friends, don't tell anyone about this. They don't know about this yet and I don't know how i'm going to tell them. Kayo pa lang ng mga magulang ko ang nakakaalam nito," I pleaded and in that moment all of the lights around the park went on.
Gone was the cold and dark park. I looked around and my jaw was left hanging open as I saw my friends behind me. They were all holding balloons that spelled the words PLEASE BE MY TEDDY AGAIN. Every single one of my friends were there except for Piper.
"Braylee?" Warren asked as tears dripped from his eyes.
I looked at them one by one as pain devoured my heart. Riley was covering his mouth as he cried; Lucho was standing still but his eyes were wide open as they were looking me in disbelief; Reika, Apollo, and Magno were already crying. And everyone else looked at me with a shocked and tearful expression. They planned to surprise me, but it was I who surprised them.
I turned to look at Denver again and he was still in a state of shock; he stood there all emotionless as tears continued to stream down his eyes.
I couldn't take it anymore so I ran. Ran as fast as I could. And as I got to the parking lot, I saw Piper with a big smile on her face.... but the smile on her face faded as she saw tears coming down from my eyes.
"Get me out of here, please!" I pleaded as grabbed her back towards her car.
END OF CHAPTER 60!
THANKS FOR READING!
VOTE AND COMMENT <3
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro