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""You will survive. You will thrive. You will love again. And once it happens, you will be set free."
- J.H. Hard

-

          Laying in her bed as the tv watched her, Amelia laid there with a million and one things running through her mind. This bed had become her second home due to having to rest and heal properly after she left from the hospital.

She hadn't seen much of Jay, he would stay long enough to make sure she was good, cooked her food then he was out and would be gon' for hours and this would be the perfect time for her to make her get away but her body was way too fragile and she was too scared that what he did before would happen again.

A knock at her front door alerted her and she had a good feeling it was Kels since she hadn't talked to her in three days but she had no choice. Jay took her phone and laptop so she couldn't contact anybody and let them know what was up.

Slowly getting out of the bed, she winced a little but made her way to the door. "I'm coming," she struggled out to say when the knocking kept going.

Reaching the door, she placed her hand on it to take a breather before unlocking it and opening it to reveal Kelsi.

Kelsi hand immediately rose to her mouth as her eyes filled with her tears and it didn't dawn on Amelia until now that her face was still fucked up. It was healing properly but she had a few more weeks until she would go back to her normal self.

"Amelia, what happened to you? Did Jay do this to you?" She asked.

Amelia nodded and she soon started crying herself. Embracing her friend into a hug, Kelsi heart broke for her friend. Seeing her like this when she knew Amelia didn't deserve this broke her.

Stepping all the way inside, Kelsi closed the door behind her so she could get all the information she needed from her. "How long as he been hitting you Mel? This is unacceptable."

Looking down shamefully, Amelia bit her lip before saying, "Five months," which shocked Kelsi and also made her feel horrible for not realizing this sooner.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? Five months, you've been dealing with this nigga and never once said anything? You know I would have had your back and helped you!" She snapped unintentionally but this whole situation was pissing her off, she liked Jay but now she hated him.

She never understood how a man could beat on a woman and not care. She would never understand their logic and she wasn't going to continue to let Amelia stay here and deal with it.

"I didn't want you to get involved, we had just became friends and I didn't want to drive you away with crazy drama. I thought I could handle it and just wait it out until I could leave on my own." She reasoned but Kelsi wasn't tryna hear that.

"Well that ends today,"

Walking around her Kelsi went right to her room and began grabbing everything that belonged to Amelia's. Amleia was leaving today one way or another and she didn't care if Jay came home and tried to stop them Amelia was walking out that door with her.

"What are you doing!? I can't leave Kels!" Amelia yelled at Kelsi as she began packing up all her things for her. "He will kill me and will hurt you, this is my problem and I don't want you to get hurt by being in the middle of it."

At this point, Amelia was just scared for her life and she didn't want Kelsi getting hurt behind her because then she would feel guilty. Of course, she wanted to leave Jay but after what all happened three days ago .. she was too scared to do anything.

When they got to the hospital, they found out that Amelia was having a miscarriage which they both assumed, but what they didn't know was that she was suffering from internal bleeding due to her ovarian cysts rupturing which lead to her having an emergency hysterectomy. So not only did he kill their unborn child, he ruined all her chances of ever carrying a child again period.

All her dreams of having a family was ruined within' an blink of an eye and all she could do was mentally blame herself for it all. If she would have left sooner and not been such a dumb ass then she would still possibly have a child on the way and still have been able to have kids again with someone who would actually be appreciative of her.

Amelia hated that man and she wanted to kill him for everything he has done, but she knew doing that wouldn't solve anything but add to her problems and having her spend the rest of her life behind bars.

When she woke up the next day in the hospital and heard the news about everything, she wanted to die right at that moment.

Six weeks pregnant and she never knew, everyday since she got home she thought about what her child would have possibly looked like or grew up to be. Before she was even given a chance to love the child, it was taken away and that killed her deeply inside.

But now everything that Jay had said to her about another man not wanting a woman like her with all the baggage she brings, she knew it was true now.

She can't have kids and she knows if she were to ever leave Jay and find someone else they wouldn't want her since she can't even give them kids and a family. And if they did want her, the feeling would fade once they want to start a family and won't be able too.

"Well you can't fucking stay here, look at your face Amelia! Look at what he did to you!" She shouted back growing emotional at the sight of her friends beat up face. "You don't deserve that shit,"

When she arrived at Amelia's apartment, she felt it in her gut that some shit was off and when Amelia answered that door and she saw her face she knew exactly what had happened.

She would have never thought her friend was getting beat on, and she was also ashamed at herself for not realizing sooner. But now that she does know, she was not about to leave this apartment without Amelia right behind her.

"Kelsi, I don't have anything else to live for. If Jay were to kill me tonight, I wouldn't fucking care. He took everything from me, I lost my baby and I can never carry a child again all behind him. I have no purpose in this world anymore." She cried.

After those words left her mouth, Kelsi froze from what she was doing and turned to look at Amelia with sad eyes. "He did what Amelia? You were pregnant?"

Letting out a sigh, she nodded. "Six weeks, but I didn't know and um due to him roughly raping me the other night and the beating me the following day for trying to leave he ruptured my ovaries and caused me to have an emergency hysterectomy."  She explained feeling her heart break once again.

Kelsi stood up from the floor and embraced her friend again. She felt no woman should go through what Amelia had endured. "I'm gonna get you out of here sis, I know you're scared and you have every right to be because he is a monster but I promise you, I got you and you're gonna be okay."

Amelia nodded trusting her word, before taking a seat on her bed due to her starting to feel a little pain.

Kelsi continued to pack up her things for her and Amelia directed her on where to find everything and before they knew it, they were loading her aunts trunk with her things and were leaving out of the apartment complex as a whole.

Staring out the window wrapped in a blanket, Amelia felt a wave of some feeling come over her body the further they got away from the place she once called home and it felt good.

She wasn't sure how Jay would react when he came home to see her gone, but she honestly didn't care. She just hoped her never found her because then she knew she would catch hell, but she hoped mentally and emotionally when that time comes that she would be in a better place.

          Laying in Kelsi's aunt guestroom bed, Amelia softly chewed on a cup of ice while watching whatever Kelsi had put on. Laying across the foot of the bed, Kelsi was online searching up stuff for Amelia like apartments and things of that sort.

She wasn't in no rush for Amelia to move out, but she knew Amelia still wanted her own since she hated feeling like a burden even though she wasn't.

Her aunt and uncle liked her being around and Kelsi finally had that sister she always wanted growing up.

Since Amelia had moved in with her aunt, Kelsi never left her side once and Amelia appreciated the attention. It was going on three weeks now and her body was healing perfectly from everything, but she still had some ways to go.

Kelsi didn't want her to do too much since the following week before her stitches from the hysterectomy tore causing her to bleed and be rushed to the ER once again. So after that incident, Amelia took it easy and didn't leave the bed much unless she had to eat or use the bathroom.

She even had a long talk with Lamar and explained just about everything to him and he understood and let her have some time off until she was ready to return to work. But in the meantime he hired temps to take her place for the time being.

Feeling her phone vibrate that Kelsi aunts brought her, Kelsi looked up at her and smirked. "Who you texting?"

Amelia shrugged not knowing since she hadn't contacted nobody in the past few weeks, but when she picked up the phone and saw Desmond's name flash across the screen her heart sunk a little.

From Des♥️ :
Hey, uh I texted you a few weeks ago and I never got a reply not that you're obligated to text me. But I'm just confused, I'm not exactly sure on what I did for you to ghost on me like this, but if I did something .. please let me know. If you felt I was moving too fast with me wanting to take you out on a date, I apologize. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just find you very interesting and I want to get to know you. But if you don't want anything to do with me, I understand and I wish you the best ❤️
- 12:28 pm

Reading the text over and over, Amelia felt like shit. She never realized how she did Desmond and she felt bad, but she also didn't want him to see her like this. Her face hadn't completely healed, but she knew he needed a good explaination and only the truth would help her situation.

To Des♥️ :
You did nothing, it's a lot going on that I can't exactly explain over the phone or through text. If you aren't busy at the moment, would you meet me somewhere?
- 12:34 pm

From Des♥️ :
I just got out of my medical terminology class and I was headed to starbucks by the public library to study, if you want to meet there we can or I can come to you whichever is easier.
- 12:35 pm

To Des♥️ :
Due to my condition it would be best if you came to me. I'll drop you my location.
- 12:36 pm

After sending her location, she sat up slowly alerting Kelsi. "You need to go to the bathroom?"

Shaking her head no, she flipped the covers back. "Would you aunt mind if I had someone to meet me here to talk outside?"

"She's not at home, she's at work but I'm sure she wouldn't mind. Who are you meeting though?"

Realizing she never told Kelsi about Desmond, she blushed. "You remember that guy at the store that day we was buying dresses for Hailey's sister wedding?"

Kelsi closed her laptop and frowned as she thought back to that day before nodding her head. "Yeah, the cute chocolate dude right?"

"Yes, well that day I gave him my number and we had been texting and getting to know one another since then and the day me and you went out for drinks to celebrate me getting the job, I went out with him later for ice cream. And due to all of this shit that has been going on, I had kinda ghosted on him and I wanted to explain everything to him in person." She explained.

Kelsi nodded, "Oh okay, well then yeah I'm sure she wouldn't mind. I'll text her anyway just to let her know and I'll go downstairs and tell my uncle as well."

"Okay, I'm about to freshen up and throw on some clothes since I have a lot of explaining to do with him."

Leaving out of her room, Amelia slowly made her way over to her closet grabbing a pair of tights and an oversized long sleeve t-shirt. Placing the items on the bed, she walked into her bathroom and carefully stripped out of her clothes while avoiding to look at herself in the mirror since she was still ashamed and felt she looked ugly.

Running herself a hot bath, she stepped inside and relaxed against the wall of the tub getting comfortable and eventually dozed off.

A faint knock at her bathroom door caused her to jump out her sleep. Realizing she had been sleep for a minute in the tub, she yelled for whoever to come in which was Kelsi. "Hey, I was just letting you know that Desmond is here downstairs and if you need anything I'll be in the kitchen cooking dinner."

Thanking her, Amelia quickly washed herself up in the now cold water before getting out completely. Drying herself off, she grabbed her shirt throwing it on then put on her tights before grabbing her cozy blanket and heading down the stairs.

She heard Kelsi's uncle and Desmond talking and she smiled a litte, missing his voice. Staying behind the wall for a bit when she heard her Uncle Jerry ask Desmond about her, she wanted to see what he was going to say.

"I can't really flat out say that I have feelings for Amelia just yet, and that's just me being totally honest. But I am intrigued by her and I really like talking to her, she's different, sweet and caring .. which is something I ain't really used too but that's another story for another day," He laughed, but went on to continue. "But so far from what I have learned about Amelia within the days of knowing her is that she is strong, but she just doesn't realize it yet .. she has a way with her words that can make you shut up quick and think about your entire existence and purpose in life, but she never realizes it. Like certain things she would say to me would be so powerful and I would just be in my head like damn, does she even realize what she just said? It's crazy."

Amelia smiled but frowned at the sametime, hearing him say she was strong was unbelievable. She felt a strong person would have been left Jay in the dust, not stay and deal with what all he has done to her.

Finally making her presence known, she kept her head down so he wouldn't see her face. Desmond noticed her instantly and politely excused himself from his previous conversation and made his way over to her.

He stood back from her not wanting to make her uncomfortable or anything, but he was happy overall to see her and to know that she was okay.

Clearing her throat, she stayed looking down. "We can talk outside,"

Agreeing, he let her lead the way and he followed her to the backyard where they had a porch swing the size of a bed hanging from a tree.

Walking over to it, she took a seat and he did the same while she played with her fingers to get her words together. Her silence wasn't bothering Desmond since Uncle Jerry had told him she had been through alot these past few weeks, he didn't tell him what exactly but just by her actions and how she won't look at him said enough.

Finally building enough courage, Amelia let out a deep sigh before finally looking up and facing him so he could see her bruised face. A frown instantly came to his face as he reached out and carassed the side of her cheek while admiring her in a loving way.

"Who did this to you?" Was all he asked, cause that's all he cared to know.

"It's alot I have to tell you that I should have been honest with from day one." She started off, "When we first met and I got your number .. I had a boyfriend, I lied saying that I was single even though our relationship was basically over but that is no excuse. He's been abusing me for about five months now, and I tried dealing with it and I had a plan to save and move away from him .. but uh after that night we went out for ice cream .. earlier that morning around four in the morning I believe .. he did something that I never thought he would do."

Getting choked up on her words, he grabbed her her hands firmly letting her know he was there and that he was listening. Taking a few deep breaths after he coached her to do so, she relaxed before continuing. "He raped me, and that was the last straw. Getting beat on basically everyday was already enough but rape I couldn't deal with nor did I want to experience that again. So I made it up in my mind that I was leaving and I had everything packed up and ready .. and in the midst of me exiting out the door, there he was and he beat the shit out of me .. knocking me unconcious and I remember waking up in the tub and he sat there on the toilet staring down at me with sad eyes and I couldn't believe him .. I kept thinking .. now you feel sorry? You beat me half to death and now you feel sorry?" She started to get angry just from thinking back to that night, but she remained calm on the outside.

"I lost so much that night, I lost my child .. yeah I was pregnant but I didn't know .. but due to the stress and him beating me and then raping me, it took the life of my baby away and not only did he take me being a mother away from me, he took away the thought of me ever being a mother again away. I can no longer have kids and I want to put all the blame on him, but I can't because I stayed and allowed it to go on this long. I also understand if you look at me differently and lost all the respect you once had towards me .. I don't blame you at all, I caused all of this." She sniffled.

Looking down, tears fell from her eyes and Desmond let go of her hands and she thought that fast she lost him but when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, she let out a sigh of relief.  "I don't look at you any different Amelia,"

Not saying anything, she continued to let him talk. "I understand why you claimed to be single, I understand everything. I just wish you would have came forward sooner, I know we don't know much about each other but I would have helped. No one deserves that type of treatment and you're such an amazing person so just thinking about him doing all of this to you hurts. But I'm glad you're safe and alive, because many women aren't as lucky to be able to walk away alive like you were able too and that's a blessing within' itself."

Making her look up at him, she tried to look down once again but he stopped her as they held direct eye contact. "Don't be ashamed of the marks and bruises, you're still beautiful and you always will be beautiful. These marks only tell a story, a wonderful story about a strong woman who dealt with the abuse of a monster and came out a live and is still standing tall. You may not feel strong today, or tomorrow but you are inside.. trust me." He whispered while using his thumbs to wipe her falling tears.

Hugging him tighter, Amelia relaxed against his hold listening to every word he just said.

Uncle Jerry and Kelsi both stood at the window watching the two with smiles on her faces. "I like him, even if they don't date or whatever .. he's still an amazing friend to have and Amelia needs people like him and you in her life."

Kelsi smiled at her uncles words before giving him a hug as they continued to watch the two have a moment outside.

While hugging Desmond, in Amelia's mind she knew that she would bounce back from this situation and grow as a person and become mentally and emotionally better. A relationship of course is the furthest thing on her mind since she needs to heal first before she tries to step into another one.

For the time being Desmond could just be that friend she needed for support and if it blossomed into something more in the future, then it just did. But she wasn't going to force anything or rush anything until she got herself together.

She was just going to focus in on herself and learn to love herself from within' again and she knew with Kelsi and Desmond in her life they would make sure that goal of hers is reached.

-

"You never lose! You either learn something that makes your next try better or you become successful."

-

          Passing out boxes of food to people at his weekly food drive that he hosts, he smiled at the hundreds of people who showed up. Grabbing another box, he handed it to the father who was next in line with his two little girls and smiled. "We appreciate this so much man, thank you."

Lamar smiled, "It's my pleasure sir, if one eat we all gotta eat right?"

The man simply laughed and nodded before going on his way. Looking down the line at the people who volunteered to help, he frowned when he saw his mama excuse herself to take a seat.

Walking over towards her, he squatted down to her level and stared up at her with concerned eyes. "You alright ma'?"

Smiling weakly, she nodded. "I'm fine, just tired. I guess my age is finally catching up to me. Go on back and finish serving, I'll be alright just needed a break from standing."

"You sure ma'?"

Leaning forward, she kissed him on the head and reassurred him that she was fine and that he could go.

Doing as she wanted, he went back to his spot and continue to grab box after box and sending them off to different families. In the middle of talking to one of the families, one of his volunteers walked up to him with a skeptical look.

Sending the family on their way, he turned to the lady and smiled politely at her. "Everything okay?"

"Uh, Mr. Lamar .. we only have about twenty to twenty-five boxes left and we have about sixty people left to feed. What do you want us to do? Send them home?"

Shaking his head no, he held up his hand. "No one will leave this building today hungry, give me a second and I'll be right back. Continue to serve the ones we have left and keep the rest here and tell them I'll be right back."

Stepping away from the line and walked out the back door where the vans who brought the boxes were parked. "Hey, um why are we running low on boxes of food? We never run low, I ordered more than enough food and we have about sixty more people here to feed with only twenty boxes left."

The delivery guy shrugged, "On here it says you only ordered two-hundred and fifty boxes of food sir. We were shocked as well when we the amount, but we thought this is what you wanted." Showing him the paperwork Lamar frowned knowing he would never order that small of amount of food when he always has big big turn outs of people coming.

"I always order five-hundred or more, is there anyway you guys can run and get me at least a hundred more boxes so I can continue to feed these families." He asked in hopes that they said yes. "I can't let some of these people go home hungry tonight."

Nodding their heads, the guy nodded at his partner to go get the van ready. "Yeah, we can do that. You're one our best vendors."

Slapping hands with them, he thanked them both and tipped them for their extra troubles of having to go and get more food.

Walking back to his helpers and the people in line waiting. He stood on a stepping tool and got all of their attention. "Hey guys, I just want you all to know that we are running out of food but I just ordered more boxes to come and it will probably be an hour or so until the food gets here. I was going to order pizza which would take less time to get here just for the time being until the boxes of groceries arrive for you all."

All nodding and understanding, they all went and took a seat at the tables he had and waited.

In the middle of ordering the pizza, Lamar jumped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder and looked back to see his mom. "Hey son, the van to take me back home is here and I was just coming to say bye. I'm tired and can't be here much longer."

"I could have taken you home ma',"

Smiling, she shook her head. "You have more people to look after and to worry about, this is one last thing you have to focus on. I'll just see you tomorrow for our lunch date."

Giving her a hug and a kiss on the forehead, he walked her to the van and helped her inside as she smiled weakly at him. Letting go of her shakey hand, he closed the door and watched as the van pulled out.

Something about the way she was acting was throwing him off, and it worried him but for now he pushed it to the back of his mind and went back to his call for food so he could feed these people and go home.

          After the food bank was over and done and everybody left with boxes of food, Lamar went straight home to shower and sleep. He had been drained lately with everything that has been going on in his life and with the press constantly down his back wanting the scoop on his and Chasity's break up, he never had time to break and chill.

Leaving out his bathroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist. He walked over to his bed and grabbed his phone to see a text from Amelia.

From Amelia C. :
Next Monday, I'll be returning to work .. after some words of encouragement from a friend and giving the okay from my doctor himself .. he said it would be okay for me to do so .. I just have to take it easy.
-  6:28 pm

Smiling at the text, he felt relieved.

To Amelia C. :
Glad you're feeling better, and if you're ever in any pain and need to go home .. don't hesitate to ask me.
- 6:47 pm

Locking his phone and sitting it back down on his night stand, he dried off and put on a pair of boxers before getting in bed and instantly feeling the sleep he needed wash over him.

Not even fifteen minutes later he was woken up out his sleep by someone knocking at his front door. Throwing a fit like a little kid, he smacked his teeth and groaned in annoyance before hopping up and grabbing a pair of sweats.

Coming down the stairs dressed in only a pair of sweats, Lamar rubbed the sleep put of his eyes wondering who was knocking at his door since his guards didn't call him or alert him that someone was here.

Opening the door he frowned when he saw Chasity, when Chasity saw him she bit her lip and mentally cursed herself out in her head for letting this beautiful man slip out of her fingers.

Snapping his fingers in her face, she snapped out of her dirty thoughts and tucked her hair behind her ear. "What are you doing here Chas?"

"I texted you the other day almost three weeks ago to be exact and I told you we needed to talk and you never got back to me." She stated in an annoyed tone.

He shrugged, "I know, I saw the text and I got your calls .. but I ignored them all because I don't have shit to say to you. We are done and over, whatever you want to talk about can wait."

When he went to close the door in her face, she put her foot in the way. "It can't wait when you could possibly be a father Lamar!" She shouted.

-

Thanks for the love & support!
- Denise 💋