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"A STRONG woman helps others even when she's struggling with her own personal demons,"

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          Getting off the subway Amelia listened to Moon River by Frank Ocean as she exited out of the subway station headed home.

Frank Ocean was one of her favorite artists, his voice was so angelic and the vibes in his music just made you feel real chill and mellow. Whenever she's upset she'll go straight to his playlist and just listen to him or Daniel Caeser to ease her mind.

She has heard many people say that music is powerful and it is, one song can change her mood from either happiness to sadness within' seconds and she felt that was neat and unique in a way.

She had just finished a long twelve hour shift at this small diner called, "Lucky Lucy's Burger's, Fries and Shakes," she worked at and all she wanted to do at this point was hop right in her bed and lay up with her boyfriend Jay.

The job wasn't extremely hard but as a waitress and a server she was on her feet 24/7 and barely got any breaks. But the tips she recieved were always good since the place was known around New York and they always stayed pack from the moment it opened til it closed.

Groaning from the pain she recieved from her aching feet, she mentally counted in her head the number blocks it was gonna take to get to her apartment.

Working at a diner wasn't what she expected to be doing at the age of twenty-three but due to some financial problems she had to drop out of school, move in with her boyfriend and get a job at the diner she works at now to help with bills.

Amelia is originally from a small town in East Texas that held a lot of bad memories that she was trying to run from. So when she moved to New York she had a dream and a goal to become an artist and a famous poet like Maya Angelou and to forget about the life she left back in Texas.

Poetry was something she fell in love with as a kid when she was introduced to it from her dad who also loved poetry but that dream ended the minute she had to drop out.

She looked at her art and poetry the same way she looks at music. She drew and wrote about things that could either make a person sad, angry, happy or a feeling of all emotions in one. She had a gift, she knew this and she wanted the world to see it and read it one day.

She went from writing and drawing everyday to doing it whenever she had time to completely stopping all together all because of her circumstances. She used to use art and poetry as an escape from society to let her mind run wild for moment and be in peace but now it seemed as if she never had time to escape this horrid place not even for a second.

All she ever did now was work, work, work and work. She didn't even have time to spend time with Jay since their work schedules were so chaotic and all over the place. And whenever they both were off they would just rest and sleep the day away.

When she dropped out of school she promised herself that in a year she would go back once she had the money, but even though she worked day and night at the diner money was still something she didn't have enough of and that plan of returning to school became something she felt never was gonna happen.

She also wasn't like most kids who had family who would be willing to help. Once she moved away her family cut all ties with her, mad at the fact that she got up and followed her dreams. The only person who supported her was her dad but he passed away a year ago due to Colon cancer and what hurt her the most was that she wasn't even able to attend the funeral since no one wanted to fly her down and because she didn't have the money.

The last thing time she talked to her father was the day before he died, and he told her to keep hope alive and that better days were soon coming. But when she got the news that he passed she felt that was honestly bullshit. Without him she felt there was no better days to come since she lost the one person who actually cared and loved her since her family could really careless if she lived or died.

They all knew she was here in New York and not once have they ever picked up the phone and called to make sure she was good. She didn't think her choosing to follow her dreams would cause issues in her family but sadly it did. When she had moved to New York, her mother and siblings were pissed. They wanted her to stay around and turn out to be nothing in life just like them, but Amelia wanted more in life. Doing drugs, living off welfare checks and food stamps is not what she wanted in life so she chose to follow her dreams and left for a better life.

And even though life for her wasn't looking the brightest or the best at the moment, it was still better than what she had growing up and she was thankful for that.

Finally reaching her apartment, she sighed in content ready to get out of this cold weather, out of her work clothes and into her warm cozy bed.

She could hear the bed calling her name from here..

Their apartment wasn't the best either, it was a small studio apartment but it was enough for them and they were comfy. The only problem was the fact that rent was so high for the small ass apartment. The cost to live there is twelve-hundred dollars a month and that doesn't even include the ultility expenses.

Reaching into her purse, she grabbed her house keys sticking it into the key hole then stepped inside letting the smell of food instantly hit her nose.

"I'm home babe," She called out while taking off her shoes at the door. "I see you cooked, that's a shocker," She laughed to herself.

One thing her boyfriend didn't do was cook, he knew how to cook but he didn't do it often or liked to do it but Amelia wished he did. So whenever he did cook she always cherished it.

Taking down her hair from the ponytail it was in, she ruffled her fingers through it feeling relieved.

When Jay didn't come greet her at the door like he usually does, she frowned as she made her way to their bedroom. Walking up the steps that lead to where their bed was, she smiled when she saw he was knocked out sleep across the bed but she knew she would have to wake him up so he could go to work.

This was sorta their everyday routine, when she would get off work he'd be leaving to go to work and she wouldn't see him til the next day when he gets off and she's going to work.

Walking over to his side of the bed, she got on her knees and shook him lightly watching as he stirred in his sleep before fully waking up.

When she was met with those pretty dark-brown eyes she loved, she smiled. "Hi, sleepy head."

Smiling at the sight of her, he yawned being sure to cover his mouth. "Hey baby, what time is it?"

"It's almost twelve, shouldn't you be heading to work right now?"

Rubbing at his eyes to fully wake up, he sat up with his back against the headboard then motioned for her to get in beside him.

Holding up her finger, she stripped out of her uniform leaving her dressed in just a pair of black spank shorts and a bra. Getting in bed beside him, he grabbed her hands. "I got fired today Amelia," He mumbled but she heard every word and fear and worry instantly crowded her mind.

"What?....Why?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he rubbed his hand down his face. "The boss let me and two other guys go today no explanation or nothing. Walked straight up to us and told us we were fired and gave us our last checks."

Shaking her head, she sighed. "And what are we suppose to do now? I can't afford to pay all of the bills with my checks, we're already behind on rent and a few other bills this will only make it worst for us, we might lose this place."

"I know that, that's why I called and talked to my cousin earlier and he has a job for me."

Sighing in relief, she praised God. "Oh thank God, we could just tell Jeff about our circumstances with you getting a new job and ask for an extension on the rent and bills until your checks start rolling in again."

"The job isn't here in New York, its in California. But it pays good babe, and we'll be able to live the life we always wanted. You can even go back to school and focus in on your poetry, and you don't even have to work the job will pay me enough to where I can handle everything." He explained trying to make it sound good as possible.

He knew Amelia loved New York, it was a place she always wanted to live so he knew she wouldn't be down to move with him but he was at least gonna try to convince her.

He loved her and wanted a life with her forever and only wanted to live a good life with her by his side.

"California though? I'm happy for you babe, I really am. I mean watching you these past few years work your ass off just to get bullshit checks .. you deserve this but moving to California isn't what I want to do or even planned to do."

Amelia loved Jay, he was her first love, her first everything and they shared a very unique bond that one could only dream of having with their spouse but moving all the way to Cali wasn't sitting right with her.

"What has New York even done for us besides break us Amelia? When we moved here we both had goals and dreams and its been two fucking years and shit hasn't changed! We still broke and struggling and the dreams we once had are over but moving to California can change that babe."

Jay also was from Texas, the same exact city Amelia was from and that was where they met. They grew up as bestfriends then later started dating in High school.

When they both graduated they had saved up money for plane tickets to start a new life here in New York, they had it all planned out on what they were gonna do and how they were gonna survive. Jay had already had a job up there waiting for him and Amelia was in school and had a small part-time job at a bank.

But everything turned to shit when Jay got fired six months into the job and that was when their dreams and goals had to be put on pause.

"Success takes time, we have to wait but I have hope that one day it will come." She stressed.

"I'm tired of waiting though. Living like this isn't what I dreamed and hoped for, not being able to take you out and buy you nice things kills me because you deserve all that and more. I'm not doing this for just me, I'm doing this for us so we can start living the life we deserve. When we moved here this is not what we visioned, and maybe just maybe this is how life was suppose to go. I mean think about it, how ironic is it that as soon as I get fired I call up my cousin and his job just so happens to be hiring and he was able to get me on that just doesn't happen babe I feel its fate."

Amelia knew he had a point, and the thought of being able to go back to school made the move more appealing since that is all she ever wanted to do. She wanted to be the first in her family to get a degree and she knew if she did make the move that would make that dream possible.

Looking over at Jay who was already looking at her, he started to smile when he saw that she was thinking it over. "When are you tryna leave?" She asked followed by a sigh.

"This weekend, they want to start training me Monday and they said they would pay for our traveling expenses so all we need to do is just pack and hit the road."

Letting out another deep sigh, she nodded. "Fine, let's do it. I'm down." She couldn't let something like this pass when it was sorta clear this move was the right move to make somewhat.

"Really!?"

Laughing at his excitement, she nodded. "Yes baby, maybe New York wasn't the place to gain success so hopefully California is." She shrugged.

Leaning over he kissed her on the lips a few times, "It's gonna be great baby,  don't even worry I got us alright?"

Getting out of bed, he left out of their room excitedly and the smile that was on her face immediately dropped when he was out of sight.

She was happy for Jay, but deep down she felt this move wasn't the move they needed to make but she also wanted that better life and the chance to go to school so she was gonna ignore her gut this time and just go with the flow of life and see where it make take her this time.

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"A good BLACK man is one of the most under respected, under appreciated, under valued and under recognized man in this world today,"

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Sitting in a board meeting, Lamar kept looking at the time on his clock that hung on the wall wondering when this was going to be over. As each minute passed, he grew more irriated not with them or the meeting just the amount of time he was losing being here.

He knew this meeting was very important and needed since it was a meeting discussing all of his businesses and the anual income of them all and ways to increase the income but he had a lunch date with a very special young lady to attend in an hour and he hated being late.

Standing to his feet after cracking, they all looked at him confused, "Is everything alright Mr. Lamar?" One questioned.

"Everything is fine, I just have to be somewhere at the moment. We can finish this meeting tomorrow sametime." He explained and they all nodded getting ready to leave as well.

When he stepped out of the board room the employees who were working outside of the room made sure to step out his way. They knew whenever he was either leaving a meeting or stepping out of his office he always had to be somewhere due to him being a very busy man and they knew he hated when folks were in his way.

He wasn't rude about it or anything it was just one of the many things he disliked.

Politely saying bye to his employees, he made his assistant call his driver to make sure he was parked out front so he wouldn't be anymore late than he already would be.

Taking the elevator that was made strictly for him and his employees only, he went to the first floor and exited off waving and speaking to people he passed.

His guards saw him approaching the exit and opened the doors for him. "Your car is out front sir,"

"Thank you,"

Stepping out the building, he jogged down the steps and thanked his driver who stood there with the car door already open and holding pink roses. "I got the flowers she likes and the chocolate she requested is inside."

"You're a life saver thank you,"

Getting inside the car, he sat back against the seat and sighed in relief. "You know where to go right? Same place as usual."

"Yessir, are you doing alright today?"

Loosening his tie, he shook his head no. "Is it that obvious?" He laughed but it was forced. "I'm just stressed but its nothing I can't handle."

"How are the plans for the wedding coming along sir? Are you and Ms. Chasity having any luck on finding a venue?"

Chasity was Lamar's fiancé of three years, they met back when Lamar was a teen and their attraction and love for one another grew over time hince as to why they are getting married now.

But the sad thing is with them getting married in a year nothing was fully planned all because Chasity could never make up her mind on what she liked or disliked.

He tried pitching ideas but his ideas or thoughts didn't matter to her since she felt this was her wedding and her day so he let her have the control but he was slowly regretting that decision since so far they have made no progress.

"Not yet but I'm sure we will soon," He replied not even believing that himself.

Arriving at the place, he fixed his tie then stepped out of the car with the chocolates and roses when his driver opened his door. "I'll only be here an hour, you can go get lunch or something and make sure you use my card."

"Thank you sir, but I can pay for my own food."

"I'm sure you can especially with how much I pay you but you do enough with driving me all around this city and running errands for me its the least I can do,"

"Well thank you,"

Patting him on the back, he smiled. "See you in an hour."

Making sure he had his phone and wallet he walked inside the building. "Hello Mr. Lamar, she's in the cafeteria waiting for you." The receptionist said before he could even utter a word.

Lunch dates is something he and she did almost everyday so they were used to him coming in by now.

Walking in the direction of the cafeteria, he smiled and waved at folks who did the same before he reached the cafeteria where he saw her sitting there looking beautiful as ever.

Coming up behind her, he sat the roses and chocolates down on the table in front of her causing her to turn slightly around with a smile on her face. "Hi baby, I thought you weren't coming today."

Hugging her tightly, he walked around the table then took a seat. "Hey mama, and you know I would never miss our lunch dates. How you feeling?"

Grabbing a hold of her shakey hand, he held onto it tightly. "I'm okay, but I'm better now that you're here."

"They been treating you right up in here?"

She nodded, "Of course, you did hire like the best of the best to look after us old folks. We played bingo yesterday, Mr. Hank old ass won I swear I believe he is cheating."

Lamar smiled that was she happy and comfortable where she was at. After Lamar's father passed away, his mother was all he had left and he was all she had left too since they didn't have anymore kids after him. But when his dad died Lamar was just too busy to look after his mama the way she needed to be looked after.

She wasn't able to do a lot on her own due to having Parkinson's disease so he opened up a retirement home for her and other seniors for a place to make them feel as if they never left home.

They all had assigned nurses who looked after them and he made sure to do background checks on every person who applied not wanting any incidents to happen and he'd get sued behind it.

"That's good, and I hired the best because you deserve the best for raising me and molding me into the man I am today."

"Me and your father simply only raised you, fed you, clothed you and made sure it was always a roof over your head. We formed a path for you to follow and you chose too. We did what we were suppose to do as parents but everything you have done after the moment you moved out was all on you and I'm so proud and your daddy would be even prouder to see what all you have accomplished and the lives you have changed.. I can't take the credit for your accomplishments when it was you who put in all the work to get it accomplished."

And she was right. Lamar could have chosen many different paths to follow and became whatever he wanted to be. His parents gave him a life of options and opportunity due to their wealthy income.

Lamar has seen many kids who had the same background as him and watched them go down paths of destruction but see Lamar is different. He used his blessing of being born into money to his own advantage and kept that money flow going.

Over the years Lamar has opened homeless shelters, day cares for low income parents, recreational centers for teens and young adults, he owned a few clubs and invested money into Children hospitals, school districts, colleges, poor countries and hoods giving back to those who didn't have like he did.

Lamar was willing to give his all to help others and that's what made him so different from other people with money. He believed in investing his money in places that would not only benefit him but others around him.

"Thanks ma'," When their food arrived, Lamar sat his food to the side and fed her instead like he always did.

"How have been things going for you? You look tired in the eyes."

"I'm tired and a little stressed out with everything that's going and then on top of all of that Chasity has nothing completed for far as wedding plans. I proposed three years ago and we're still at square one with only a year left."

Rolling her eyes at the mention of her, one person his mother did not like was Lamar's fiancé Chasity. She knew the girl was only with him for the money but she knew her baby was blinded by love and couldn't see behind that pretty face and smile of hers. But she hoped he woke up and saw her for what she really before they walked down that aisle.

"Hopefully she'll get it together, but have you been taking off and resting like you said you would? You know I worry about you."

"Ma', I'll have plenty of time to rest and make time for myself when I am dead. Also when Chasity and I go on our honeymoon, we're going to Jamaica and I'm going to relax and focus on myself then." He explained.

"Okay but what about now? What you do for others is simply amazing but you have to put yourself first sometimes too baby. I don't like saying this but if you don't you will end up just like your father—"

"Don't go there ma', pops and I are different."

"How so? Your father worked himself to death, he took care of everybody around him making sure they were good but forgot to take care and make sure he himself was good and he died! If you don't stop now you will be just like him."

"They need me, this world needs people like me who actually give a damn about world-hunger and kids."

"Okay and I need you! I can't lose you Lamar, you are all that I have left so please baby take care of yourself.. just take a break sometimes. You have all the time in the world to help make this world a better place sweetie, but just like you said they need you but if you were to die now what would happen then?"

Sitting back in his seat, he remained silent knowing she was speaking nothing but facts. He knew he sometimes would get so caught up in helping others and making sure others were fine and forget all about himself.

But watching his mother eyes fill with tears and demand him to take better care of himself he knew he needed to do it. But he just felt that it was so much more that needed to be done in this world before he could take a break but he was going to try for the sake of his mother.

So like whatcha think?
- Denise 💋