. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ CHAPTER FIVE
🪽 NICOLE NASH

The sketchbook laid open on top of my knees haunts me, as do the set of eyes inked onto it's pages. I stare at them for a little too long than I should. I reach for the bottle of vodka next to me, downing some more of it. Hoping the way the alcohol burns down my throat will burn all the memories I so desperately try to forget.  

I have never been much of artist, in fact when I was younger despite what my parents said, I was aware of how bad my drawings were. Landon always made sure I knew, but he also made sure I learned from him, after all it would be an embarrassment for me, his friend, to not know how to draw despite being around him a lot.

Eventually I grew to like it, not that I ever draw much. Just the occasional little drawings in post-it notes that I used to stick in the multiple rooms of my godparents houses. It used to drive Aunt Teal mad, but I also know that she collected all the post-it's and put them in their own photo album, because she knew my godfather and her husband, Uncle Ronan loved them.

There was also the yearly drawing for my godmother's birthday. Of course my drawings were nothing compared to Aunt Astrid's own art, or even her children's, but still she always had been supportive of my little drawings, and was in fact both impressed and happy that Landon had took it upon himself to teach me, years and years ago. Of course, i doubt she saw it how it really is. To aunt Astrid, Landon was doing some act of kindness despite not understanding it, I however could now see what it was. As his friend at the time, it would be a shame to not be good at such thing. Of course I would never be as good as him, no one would, Landon is an actual genius, but still he wanted me to be good enough in his eyes.

And I was. I am. At least in drawing I am, though he looks down on me in everything else.

I down some more vodka, again and again. I don't think this is what Ivory imagined I would be doing when she dragged me back to the mansion, but then again who cares what she think. I certainly don't.

The sound of door opening takes me a little by surprise, but I hold myself to not show it. It can't be Remington, Creighton or Brandon, not when Remi texted me a bunch about going to the girls flat with food. I didn't replied to him, like I never sent my sister the selfie with him that I promised. I doubt it's Eli, he's probably too busy ruining the lives of the boys who looked twice or more times towards my sister.

So it can only be Landon. I don't bother to look behind me, as I hear his steps approaching.

"Got your ass handed to you?" I question when he sits next to me. I analyze his usually perfect face, that will bruised by tomorrow. It's probably already starting to bruise but I hadn't turned on the outside light, and neither has he. In fact the only light comes from inside the house, and maybe a little from the light posts down the road, though I doubt that light reaches us.

Landon doesn't present me with a response. He reaches for the cigarette pack that lays in the stair where we're sat. Right in between us. He opens it and takes out a cigarette, placing it between his lips. He holds his hand out to me, I roll my eyes, but i do pick up the lighter that lays on top of my sketchbook and hand it to him.

Quickly I close the notebook and put it down on my other side, where I know he can't reach. When I look at him again, he's looking at me despite the fact that he is placing the lighter next to cigarette pack. I ignore his eyes on me, and focus solely on his face. He's definitely already bruising. Before I know what I'm doing, my free hand is reaching to his face, touching his cheek. If it hurts him, he doesn't show it. But then again Landon doesn't feel like us mere mortals. He's all almighty on his own way.

"Does it hurt?" I ask. I can't help myself before the words are rolling out of my mouth.

"Why, are you planning to kiss it better?" He asks. There's a certain challenge on his eyes, despite the taunting tone.

"Keep wishing." I tell him, pulling my hand away from him. "Did you won, at least?" I ask.

I returned to the mansion before his fight, in fact I hadn't even watched Creighton's. Ivory had found me after my talk with Gareth, and according to her I was too out of it, so she dragged me home and put me to bed after forcing me to drink water. Too much water in fact. Of course, as soon as she fell as sleep I left my room and end up here. I don't know for how long I have been outside but the vodka bottle in my hands is about half empty. Not that I drunk all that's missing, because I don't really remember it. Or maybe I did.

I knew however that Creigh had won, because one of the things Remi had told me within his multiple texts had been that.

"No." He replies dryly. I fake pout at him. "I should of placed a bet against you." I tell him.

"I'll give you the money you bet on me." He says, taking another drag of his cigarette. Well the cigarette he stole from me, if we're being technical.

I laugh at that. Did he actually thought I would bet on him? Sure, Landon had won his fair share of fights, but he was no Creighton. And I certainly refused to bet on him, even when I knew he would win. In fact I would rather lose money, than win because of him. Creighton was the only person I bet on and I wasn't about to change that. And certainly not tonight.

"I didn't bet on you Landon." I tell him. He just shrugs. I roll my eyes at his reaction. "Who did you fought, anyway?" I ask him.

"The guy that was supposed to fight Creigh. Your new little boyfriend stole Creighton's fight from him." He informs me. I look confused at him.

"Gareth?" I asked confused. He laughs at that. "Wrong Carson brother, Queen." He says.

I shiver run downs my spine. Why the fuck would Killian want to fight Creighton? I need to find out what is it that Killian is playing about around my friends, before it's too late, and without him thinking that I'll actually help him with whatever he wanted the other day.

"Kill?" I still question. I guess a part me wanted Landon to tell me that I got it wrong.

"We're at the nicknames phase, how adorable." His tone drips of sarcasm but I say nothing. "In fact since we're talking about him, we were interrupted last week, but now we're all alone, so care to explain what was it that he wanted from you?" He asks. His voice is calm but I know that he's dying to know it. In fact, I'm a little surprise that he hasn't forced me into a corner before to ask again and again until I fess up.

Though luck, it's not happening.

"I'm starting to think you're jealous, Lan." I say with a taunting tone, before I chug more vodka. Although I don't get to drink much because Landon is quick to pull the bottle from my hands.

"You've had enough." He says. "As if you care." I say harshly.

Landon King simply doesn't care. About nothing and no one. He sighs. The bastard actually sighs. Dropping what remains of his cigarette on the stair bellow us, he steps on it.

"You're in fact incapable, remember? I as sure as fuck do." I add. He shakes his head. "Don't piss me off, Nicole." He says calmly.

"Why, because you're the only one who's allowed to pick fights? The only one allowed to say his so called truth." I taunt. I'm picking a fight with Landon, and I don't know why.

That's a lie. I know why.

It's easier to fight him. At least then I can look him in the eyes without doing something stupid like touching his bruised face like I did before. It's easier to fight with Landon, because at least that way I know better than to become who I was once upon a time.

"Your pathetic lines don't affect me, Nicole. Do us both a favor and don't bother with them." He says harshly. I wish I could punch him. Sometimes I really do.

Nothing ever affects Landon, but me on the other way? I'm affected by everything.

I get up. What's the point in fighting him if he doesn't even care about that? I may as well just leave. Though it seems Landon doesn't think the same because he's quickly towering over me, his hand gripping my elbow roughly.

"Will you ever stop running?" He asks me.

His eyes are on mine. And it's like I can't breathe.

"Will you ever care?" The words leave me before I can process them in my mind. There's a change on his face and right away I regret my words.

"I'm sorry." I murmur but it doesn't matter because he's already letting go of my elbow. So I grab his arm. "I shouldn't have said that Lan. You know I don't meant it like that." I admit.

He just shrugs and my heart actually fucking aches. I had never used that against him. All our petty fights and even big blow outs aside, I had never used the fact that he didn't felt things like I do against him. Even though, it annoyed me on certain situations, it had been something that drew me to him when we were little and I was just a scared curious girl.

"I in fact don't care. We've talked about this, Nicole." He says and I'm so in my head that I can't quite pick up the tone in his words.

I just shake my head. My eyes leave his for a moment, and I just admire his face. His beautiful structured face that's clearly very bruised. Now that we're standing, the light shines better on his face. "We should go inside, I'll take care of that." I say, touching his face again. "You're sure it doesn't hurt? You can tell me, I won't use that against you. I promise." I tell him.

He stares at me for a little too long. "You're drunk Nicole, go to sleep before you regret your actions." He says. I roll my eyes at him.

"You're so not the boss of me, and I'm perfectly fine." I say and attempt to walk up the next stair, attempt being the key word as I almost trip and fall on my face hadn't been for Landon grabbing my waist to steady me.

I turn to look at him, and he's giving me the 'I told you so' expression. I ignore it. "Thank you." I say quietly. "Come with me, now." I tell him. "I won't regret it." I add. "You won't remember it, either."He says.

"That's a lie, I always remember things the next day." I say and he scoffs. "No, you don't Nica." He says. I freeze at the nickname.

"You haven't called me that in ages." I say, he chuckles. Not one of his fake laughs. It sounds like when we're younger and it almost brings a smile out of me. "You called me Lan, it only seems fitting, no?" He asks and I nod slowly.

Notes.

First I'm sorry it took me so long to update, I can't lie I was really struggling with this chapter, and what I wanted to do with it. Part of me wanted this, a Landon and Nicole scene and part of me wanted to send Nicole with Remi, Creigh and Brandon to see the girls. Obviously I opted for the former.

✴︎ I know this chapter is a little messy and confusing and I do apologize but at the same time I think that it being confusing kinda makes sense since Nicole is indeed extremely drunk and she is the narrator.

✴︎ Nicole and Landon are complicated okay. Their relationship is anything but simple and it runs extremely deep. They have known each other for what feels like forever but aren't friends anymore. Nowadays all they do is fight, unless in moments like this. Landon can be somewhat soft with Nicole, especially when he knows she won't remember it. In a way he gets the best of both worlds. He gets a caring Nicole when she is drunk, but he also gets mean Nicole when she is sober. And believe me, he certainly enjoys both sides.

✴︎ I know Landon takes a while before he becomes somewhat 'soft' with Mia, but I need you to understand that in here he has known his love interest for many many years. And they have been trough a lot already.

✴︎ Nicole is clearly a messy drunk, but she's also very caring, and here you can see that she does cares a lot. Sober Nicole would never apologize to Landon, but she wouldn't dream to be anywhere too close to him either. I have heard many times that drunk words are sober thoughts and in here you well you can made of this whatever you want.

✴︎ There's also the fact that I can't quite remember what was mentioned of Landon's bruises after the fight, or if it even was mentioned in any of the books, but for the sake of mine he got bruises on his face.

✴︎ Last but not least, you already know the drill... I do revise my work, (though this time I won't lie I only did it twice, because I don't quite like this chapter), but I could always miss mistakes and grammar errors. So, forgive me if that's the case.