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sorry for the late upload

Grrrr..... hecktic around the house my family drama returns

Excuse my poor writing I forced myself to write this

Enjoy :-)

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Chapter 10

Lily's POV

Of all the torture I have gone through over the years for my supposed best friends this would have to be the worst. Rach stood above me placing my thick chocolatey mane into a polished bun that was held together by a few blue rose clips. Roses are not blue unless artifically colored. She let a few stray hairs hang loosely around my face which I liked.

Rachel stepped back admiring her work. She smiled her red lipstick clashing with her blue eyes like fire and ice. Rachel had on a red strappless dress that had a huge rose on the right side of her chest, it came mid thigh. She matched it with shiny red stilletoes. Her golden blonde hair flowed around her shoulders like a river of gold. With a light dab of mascra and a touch of blush as well as that bold red lipstick she looked like a goddess.

Rachel pulled the old blanket off of me revealing my satin blue dress. The dress had ribbon like straps that felt cool against my shoulders. The dress fit snuggily down to my waist where it opened into a flared end. Matched with blue satin heels. With alot of complaining I managed to convince Rachel to let me put my own make up on.

I am capable of doing this on my own but Rach insisted on helping me get ready.

Rachel was upset because I only applied a light coating of mascara and eyeliner. A smidge of gloss which was sticky but tasted fruity. Yup Rach didn't like my light touch but managed to get a few quick dabs of blush on my cheeks.

You can't stop Rach. She clapped her hands as I stood towering over her despite her heels.

"You look amazing!" she screeched wrapping her arms around me

Trapped in her iron like arms I struggled to breath. Damn she has some strength. My eye twitched, lifting my hand up to rub whatever it was out. Rachel pulled away feeling my arm move, she slapped my hand down with a hard look.

"Oh no you don't missie. You better not ruin your make up." she warned

"But my eye itches." I whined stomping my foot like a child

Rachel shook her head narrowing her eyes. I nearly laughed in her face as she pointed to the door signaling for me to go downstairs. With a mocking salute I stepped out of the room stopping at the top of the stairs. The chatter of people downstairs had my heart racing.

Taking a deep breath I fixed my posture, slowly heading down. My heels clicked on the old wood. The voices silenced as I came to view.

My dad, Jake, Nick, and Annabelle crowded at the bottom. Annabelle raised the camera I hadn't noticed and snapped a few pictures. Annabelle looked up from the lens, her eyes widened at my apperance and the color from her cheeks drained. I pulled my gaze from the pale Annabelle to Nick and Jake.

Both Nick and Jake were wearing black suits almost identical down to the slender red tie and white dress shirt underneath. Guys have it easy, I thought bitterly.

Nick whistled digging his hands into his black slacks. "Wow you look amazing." he said looking me up and down

Heat crept up my cheeks at his comment.

"That's exactly what I told 'er." Rachel said from behind me

Nick wrapped a arm around Rachel pulling her to him. He nuzzled her neck earning a squeal.

"Nick!" she hissed her cheeks flushed

With a smirk Nick pulled back, his arm remained at her waist. I couldn't help but smile. They are finally together and couldn't be happier. Annabelle was glaring at Rachel, her opinion of Rachel hasn't changed.

Dad stepped foward placing a kiss on my forehead.

"My little girl all grown up." he whispered

For a breif second something flashed through his eyes. A cold hard expression that made the hair in the back of my neck stand up. Now they were shining with love.

What was the dark emotion that was there a second for? Did I cause that look?

"Come on let me get a picture of you all together. Melissa come down!" Annabelle shouted upstairs

Annabelle gripped my elbow dragging me towards the front door. She pulled Jake next to me placing his hand on my shoulder. Than tugged an attached Nick and Rachel beside us.

Slowly Annabelle backed up the camera dangling from her wrist. She snapped a picture with a wide grin. She is enjoying this too much.

"Oh Jake honey pull Lily closer to you. MELISSA!!" she shouted again

"I'm not ready!" she replied

I rolled my eyes, of course she wasn't ready. Knowing Melissa she is waiting for me to leave so she sneak into my room to "borrow" my things.

Annabelle waved her hand in Melissa's direction.

"Jake get closer to Lily." she repeated

Jake placed a shaky hand on my hip pulling me against his side. This is are first public event not avoiding each other and he is nervous. My shoulders slumped a bit, is he going to return to ignoring me? The very thought upset me.

"You'll be the prettiest girl there." Jake whispered in my ear as a flash blinded me

Just as Annabelle was preparing to take another picture dad stepped foward.

"That's enough pictures let the kids go to their dance." he said angerily

Dad's face was pinched tight with his back rigid facing Annabelle. His eyes set behind me at Jake?

A pouting Annabelle nodded obviously wanting more pictures. Jake let me go and headed for the door. We all followed him before anymore pictures could be taken.

"Have fun!" Annabelle shouted as we stepped out to the brisk cold night

I rubbed my bare arms climbing into Nick's car. Jake was going to pick Cindy up so he was taking his truck. Of course I am the third wheel and will go with Nick and Rach. Than later return with Jake and Cindy.

Maybe I should have went with a date?

"Wow." I whispered as we entered the gym

Hanging from the tall ceiling were red latterns that gave the room a red dim light. Shadows played against the walls that were covered in pink twinkly lights. Thick petal pink curtains were draped around entrance with artifical red rose petals leading inside giving a romantic theme.

To my left was a five foot, ten inch thick plastic heart that floated with a large arrow through it. Tables and chairs were covered in a pink cloth I was afraid would rip if I looked at too long. Each table had a small bouquet of -what else- red roses. I managed not to roll my eyes.

By the lockerrooms -which were locked for tonight- girls swormed the wide full length mirror that was there for only tonight.

"You have offically out done yourself." I mumbled turning in a full circle.

Rachel flashed me her perfect smile. Music roared in my ears as we walked deeper into the gym. A few people stared looking me over with interest.

I'm going to be in the gossip tommorow. Ignoring the piercing gaze of my peers. Their eyes like hands roamed my body making me uncomfortable.

"Here."

I looked up to see Nick holding out a cup of punch. Gladly I took a sip, strawberry lingered on my tongue with a mix of a foul bitter taste. Placing the cup down after I realized the punch was spiked.

A girl in a yellow mini dress that barely covered her butt came running up to Rachel frantically explaining the punch had been spiked. Rachel left to 'fix it'.

"Why Lily I do recall you saying I'll get a dance."

With a smile I followed Nick to the dance floor where people were grinding against each other. Nick made a gagging sound at the bodies pressing against each other.

"Show me what'ca got."

I swayed my hips to the music as Nick tried matching my steps. He would occasionally fumble bumping into someone behind him. I laughed as he muttered apologizes to other dancers. Poor Nick, I thought before slowing down. We danced for a couple songs joking mostly.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, Jake smiled holding out his arms. Immediately I threw myself at him.

"Was Nick that bad?" he asked chuckling

I couldn't help but laugh along when Nick pouted walking away. Jake was more stiff and unable to keep up with my movements at all. He akwardly moved his body in an attempt to dance. Maybe if he let go it would at least look like dancing.

Thankfully Cindy rescued him from further humilation. By the way she faught a smile when she interrupted Cindy knew how awful Jake looked. I like her.

Just as I was heading to my seat Scott grabbed my hand.

"I'm much better than him." he pointed to Jake

Hestiately I made my way back to the dance floor with Scott's hands wrapped around my waist. When I stopped he pressed himself against me. He snaked his arms a little higher until his fingers brushed against the hem of my bra. Thankfully they stopped there.

To my surprise Scott could really move which was a relief since my other partners weren't as good. Except for his little friend's constant 'contact' I enjoyed the dance.

It seemed everytime I finished dancing with one person a new appeared a second later. Most were Jake's friends who weren't bad dancers at all. Except for a few cheap moves at touching me I enjoyed it.

Finally able to get away from the dance floor I sat at a table exshausted. Slumping in a chair I watched the crowded dance floor. Music blared in the gym echoing to where I sat far from everyone.

It was a regular dance including grinding, drinking, and make outs in secluded areas.Yup, nothing out of the ordinary.

My eyes roamed the room suddenly bored when something or should I say someone caught my eye. Ethan was leaning against the far wall dressed in black slacks, a blurgandy dress shirt that was slightly open leaving his neck and part of his chest exposed. His light brown hair tousled on his head as usual.

Two girls in very tight dresses stood in front of him playfully touching his chest fluttering their lashes. Ethan gave them an uneasy smile pulling out of their grasp.

Poor Ethan he is too nice for his own good. Couldn't they get a hint? My eyes traveled over Ethan again admiring his slender hips that dipped down to perfect toned legs that fit the slacks well. The burgandy dress shirt snug against his body revealing the outline of his chest and arms. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows showing his bronze strong arms. His lean fingers pressed tightly on his forearms.

The light of the lanterns hid one half of his face giving him a bad boy outlook. With his face to the side it showed his perfect nose, his strong square jawline, his full red lips that were moving slowly trying to hold a smile.

I licked my sudden dry lips, no wonder they pressed on.

"Done drooling?"

Ashton stood above me with a smile firmly on his face. He had a pink dress shirt that seemed loose on him and black slacks. Unlike Ethan he had his shirt open halfway down his chest. His hair brushed neatly to the side, Ethan never brushed it to the side.

I mentally smacked myself. Ashton just saw me checking Ethan out.

"I was not drooling." I defended myself

He snorted giving me a dubious look. This could not get more embarrassing. Ashton looked in the direction I was gawking in.

"Your much prettier than them, besides Ethan doesn't seem like he wants to be around them."

My lips tipped upwards as Ethan put his hands up in an attempt to push the girls away. They had him pinned against the wall. For a second I thought of helping him. What would I do ?

'Hey you two stop harassing the guy I am checking out.' I snorted at the very thought.

"Where's Melissa?" I asked changing the subject

Ashton's face fell, he averted my gaze by looking at his feet. He nudged his head to the dance floor with a grim look. In the midst of the crowd Melissa was rubbing up against another guy. She shook her butt against his front causing my black cocktail dress to ride up inches from her butt.

I'm going to burn it for sure.

Without thinking I stood up taking Ashton's hand leading him to the dance floor. I placed his hands on my hips keeping close contact.

"Dance with me." I ordered

Ashton's face lightened up as we swayed to David Guetta's Without You. Ashton's hands didn't roam my body and his steps weren't lacking. He kept up with my steps rubbing against me occasionally. I smiled up at him to see his eyes glittering with excitement.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. Melissa tapped her foot glaring at Ashton and my closeness.

We stopped dancing but didn't part.

"I want my date back." she spit pulling Ashton away from me

With a victorious smile Melissa disappered into the crowd of bodies leaving me alone once again. She is such a child, I thought while rolling my eyes.

"A beautiful girl like you should never be left alone." a soft voice said from behind me

My heart hammered against my chest wildly as a deep blush covered my cheeks. Turning slowly I saw Ethan flashing me a toothy grin, unlike before it wasn't strained.

I gave a small smile suddenly speechless. Ethan's eyes gazed up and down my body making me tingle all over. His eyes lingered a bit too long on my body before his sparkling emeralds held my eyes.

"Lily your... stunning." he whispered his voice thick

I gulped feeling more nervous, my heart fluttered at his tone. The dark shade in his eyes seeming all to familiar.

"You don't look to shabby yourself." I replied

Like a switch the dark emotion vanished, replaced by a glimmer of happiness. A side of his mouth tipped upwards into a croaked smile.

"I'm surprised to see you here. Never pictured you as a dance guy."

"Speak for yourself you were cringing the whole time you were dancing."

Was he watching me? No that's just stalkerish and not something Ethan would do.

Ethan dug his hands into his pockets avoiding my gaze.

"The guys convinced me to come." he muttered

A thought crossed my mind causing a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. He probably had a date. The very thought of a girl charging up to us and pulling Ethan away like Melissa did with Ashton hurt. Of course someone as good looking as Ethan would have a date but where is she?

The song ended turning to a slow beat song. People stopped grindding and began slow dancing. Ethan cleared his throat.

"May I have this dance?" he asked his voice bold yet hesiatent

"Wouldn't you want this dance with your date ?" I blurted

A low chuckle escaped his lips as his eyes sparkled in mischeif. He took my hand pulling me close. He placed my hands around his neck , my fingers brushing against his soft hair. His big hands rested on my hips sending a surge of heat through out my body.

My eyes widened when he lowered his head to my ear. His soft lips brushed against my ear.

"I don't have a date besides your exactly who I want." his voice husky in my ear

My breath caught at his words. Calm down he didn't mean it that way, I shouted at myself. My body wasn't agreeing with my brain. I shuddered as he breathed into my ear, his breath hot and fruity mingled against my nose.

He smiled against my ear. The music played on and I relaxed in his arms. I layed my head against his chest enjoying the sound of his rapid heart beat, his heavily breathes hot against my face. The way are bodies swayed rythmically together. Well aware of his body tightly pressed against mine, molding us into one.

His hands rose up slowly from my hips to my waist leaving a trail of heat through the silky dress.

My throat went dry as he let out a sigh. His breath blew against my neck giving me goosebumps. Silenty I hoped the song would never end.

"T-thank you for the flowers." I studdered

"How did you know?" he asked surprised

I wanted to laugh at his question. The first day I met Ethan is a day I won't be forgetting anytime soon. A small smile spread across my face at the memory.

"You remember." he said

Without looking up I knew he was smiling.

"You left a memorable first impression." I joked

His chest rumbled as he chuckled into my hair. I smiled against his chest loving the musky scent.

At this point I didn't know if the song was still playing. An asteroid could have hit the gym and I'd still have my nose buried in Ethan's shirt. The muscles in his chest flexed when his hands tightened around my waist.

"I miss you Lily." he mumbled against my hair

I don't think he meant for me to hear it, I'm glad I did. My mouth opened to return the words than thought better of it.

So far I have done an amazing job of hiding the truth from everyone. The nightmares, my fears, the crying. I managed to lock all of that away until the dark, cold of the night when it all catches up to me. Ethan knows beyond what I let people see and I have a horrible habit of blurting the truth to him.

Unshed tears stung my eyes, I miss the comfort only he cold give me. The warm geniune hugs, the gentle kisses to my forehead or temple. The way he'd stroke my hair while rubbing my back assuring me he'd always be here for me.

My body shook from a sob I was holding back. He always is despite my attempts to push him away. I pulled away from his chest.

He gripped my shoulders looking me over with concern.

"Lily what's wrong?"

My head shook, unable to think of an excuse. His jaw clenched as a look of pain flashed through his eyes. He knows, he always knows!

I stepped away from his hold bumping into a couple.

"I can't... its... I can't." I studdered and took off leaving him alone

Elbowing my way through couples dancing close I made it to the back where a few girls stood checking their make up or hair. With a deep breath I willed the tears back for after the dance when I could curl up in my dark room and cry.

Cry for the friend I lost. For the hurtful mother who took her life in front of my very eyes. For the pain she had to inflict on me before she was completely gone.

The memory of the cold metal against my skin. The hot summer day was filled with the metallic smell of blood. Hands reaching for me, screams, profanity. Alcohol poured against my wounds and down my throat. His body laying limp on the wooden floor. His eyes open staring at me, telling me it was all my doing.

My heart slammed against my chest as the memory began to take me under. Not here. I rushed to the bathroom pushing the girls in front of the mirrors. A few of them flipping me the bird. My hands shook as I cupped a handful of water to splash on my face.

At the moment I could careless if I ruined my make up. With ragid breathes I managed to steady my hands.

Later, I'll deal with it later.

My head rose to see the damage I have done to my make up.My eyes widened at the reflection staring back at me.

A wide eyed woman with dark brown hair and fair light skin stared at me making my blood go cold. Her rosy red lips quivered in fear. I rose a shaky hand to cover my quivering mouth. With a hesitatent step back I said the word I haven't said in years.

"M-momma?"

No that is not her. My mom is dead. She died!

Yet there she was staring back at me in the mirror. The same flawless skin, small button nose, rosey lips, doe like eyes. But her eyes weren't the glossy glass like brown eyes. No they were carmel colored. I sucked in a breath realizing who it was.

My body trembled at the realization. Pushing pass the girls to the blaring music of the gym.

Hot tears spilled down my cheeks, my breath uneven again.

I pushed through the sea of bodies earning a few cusses but I was deaf to anything but the rapid beats of my heart. My thoughts returning to my mom.

"No momma, no!" I pleaded

She held me roughly by my shoulder her eyes filled with saddness. Her face twisted with rage as she rose the metal high in the air down to my thigh. A pain like no other I felt shook my body with tears as momma slid the knife down like she was slicing bread. A scream filled the quiet afternoon, my screams.

She pulled it out my blood coating his dry one. Momma grabbed the clear bottle of alcohol pouring it over my thigh soaking my pretty pink floral dress. Blood and vodka coated my clothes as a burning new pain swept through my body. My screams stopped like someone pressed mute. Tears streaked my cheeks flowing freely. My body numb and heavy as momma picked me up to my feet screaming in my face.

Just like than I heard nothing, felt nothing. The world died out as the pain took over my body. My legs wobbled under me as the memory of the knife in my thigh returned.

I pushed the gym doors open ignoring everyone around me. The cold bitter air of tonight blew against my silky dress causing goosebumps to form all over. In one swift movement I pulled the blue clips from my hair unable to take the way they pinched my scalp.

A cold wind whipped my hair around my face as I stumbled on along the streets. Memories returning, the reflection in the mirror haunting me. Fears buried deep resurfacing and bringing me to my knees. The cold, hard concreat scraped my bare knees adding a small physical bareable pain to my emotioal one.

A pair of strong arms gripped my shoulders bringing me to my feet. A familair voice was shouting in my ear telling to look at him. My eyes blurred with tears I turned in his direction to see a blur of a dark shade of red.

In a quick second my feet were off the ground now dangling in the air. I smiled as something rumbled against my head. It wasn't as soothing as Ethan's laugh, it wasn't a laugh though. It was of screaming.

"Please...... Lily!! Keep.......eyes..... talk to me!!" he screamed sounding frantic

A dark thick cloud began to wrap itself around me. It was warm and took the pain away. My body shook as the person ran with me in his arms. His chest shook with his yelling.

"Please!!" he begged his voice cracking in pain

He was in pain? I know how unbearable pain can be. It cripples you emotionally, I felt sympathetic to the stranger. My fingers rose touching his cheek lingering on his soft skin.

"Don't be sad." I whispered

A strong hand wrapped around mine as the dark cloud pulled me under taking all the pain with it.