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guilt trips and realizations

Song for this chapter- Heaven in Hiding by Halsey.
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The luminous sun rays intruded my sleep,  bringing me to a sitting position as I yawned; stretching out my tightened limbs. I took the chance to notice the interior of the room and I  arched my eyebrow when I unfamiliarized with the vicinity; my pink, cascading walls were replaced with a dull grayish tone.

That's when realization hit me with a not so subtle impact of a brick. Lauren brought me to a night club where I lost her and encountered Dinah. The wrongs I committed made it's stance in my mind and a tear slipped free from my eyes, rolling down my cheek. I betrayed not only my family but my own personal morals as I confided in myself to never fall prey to these pleasures but here I was, deflowered while as the girl who did this to me was no where in sight.

The reality became more horrifying as I witnessed my nudity as I stood up from the mattress. My clothes laid scattered around every aspect of the room as it indicated how reckless I had been that the previous night. Sorely, I dressed myself as I proceeded to retrieve my missing friend and go home.

I trekked down the secluded hallways, stepping over wasted partiers on sprawled on the hardwood floors and grimacing at the vile smell of human waste that lingered in the air. I wandered down each corridor, observing every room to find the emerald eyed girl before I discovered her passed out on the floor of a vacant room.

"Lauren? Wake up." I shook her lightly but she remained in the same position.

"Lauren, wake up!"

The raven haired girl sprung up with alarm in her eyes. She looked left to right before meeting my expectant gaze and merely rubbed her eyes.

"Damnit Mani, I thought you'd know better than to disturb the beauty sleep of a girl experiencing a wicked hangover." She grumbled, holding her head in her hands.

"Well how about we get out of here and I'll assist you with ridding of the sucker."

We shared a laugh before she winced and I guided her to her feet as the both of us walked out of the setting.
-
I returned home after tending to my friend and was met with the homely smell of fresh waffles and sausages. I walked into the kitchen to see my dad and my two sisters, Ashlee and Arielle, all aquatinted at the kitchen table.

"Good Morning Mama," I placed a greeting kiss onto her cheek as she smiled approvingly. "Good Morning Dad." I repeated the action towards my father before joining them at the table.

We exchanged small talk while eating as my mom shared some information about a woman at her job whom would be aiding us at the church and I nodded along, not fully giving her my undivided attention. My thoughts wandered elsewhere to a girl who owned beautiful light brown eyes. I couldn't believe that I had given into her seductress ways and to even commit over a dozen sins without thought. Worry consumed my mindset as I contemplated about what school would look like on Monday. She wouldn't dare tell anyone would she?

I shook my head, hoping to discard the anxiety-filled subject and tuned back in to the conversation my family was engaged in.
-
It felt as if a million pair of eyes were protruding through me as it seemed as if everyone was staring at me more that usual. Maybe it was my own paranormal exaggeration but it didn't cease my actions of glancing over my shoulder every second.

The sound of my name caused my body to jolt before relaxing at the sight of my animated best friends.

"Geez guys, you almost gave me a heart attack!" I glared at Camila and Lauren while the dual simply dismissed my scolding, continuing on with their gossip.

"Did you hear?" Camila questioned me and I stood there confused.

"Heard about what?"

"About Dinah and Skye's breakup?"

The name sent a thrill down the course of my veins and I remained assertive, shaking my head at the new information.

"No. What happened? I thought those two were as thick as thieves!"

"Well apparently at the night club we went to last night-" I shushed Lauren for being so loud when bringing up the topic of our whereabouts last night before I gave her permission to finish. "She was also there and got a intimate with someone there."

I chewed on my bottom lip habitually as fear clouded my judgement. I was the reason why their long term relationship reached its finality and it wasn't purposely. If their departure had spread like wildfire throughout the school, who's telling that anyone could find out that I was the one she slept with and lost Skye's fidelity to.

"Mani, what's wrong?" The smaller Cuban looked at me with concern amidst her starry, brown orbs.

"Nothing of concern."

"Oh come on, Normani, we've known that you only chew on your lip when something worries you, inhabiting your mind in deep thought. Now, what's wrong?"

"I just feel bad for Skye, what Dinah did to her was hurtful." I fibbed and I knew that they took my word because I swore to never lie to anyone and here I was, doing the contrary of that.

"Yeah well that's her problem, not ours'."
-
It was during my algebra class when I excused myself to use the bathroom and my teacher, Mr. Momoa, who nodded his head in acceptance.

I entered the desolate bathroom as I splashed water on my face, analyzing my appearance. I was still in deep guilt of ruining their relationship and worst of all was that I couldn't confide in my closest friends about my predicament. Surely, Camila would try to compromise with the situation but Lauren would patronize me for my stupidness.

I tensed up at the feeling of a presence behind me; arms wrapping around my waist while a pair of lips met my heated skin. I froze as I didn't have any idea of whom this person was until I glanced up into the mirror, witnessing the piercing gaze of the Polynesian girl.

"Did you miss me?"

I pushed the younger away from me and turned around, my back hitting the cold counter.

"D-Dinah." My voice wavered as I grew small under her intense gaze. "What do you want?"

"Do you think that I'd forget about what's mine? Your moans were delicious last night as I brought you to places that you only fantasized of going." She proceeded to move closer towards me and I remained frozen in my spot.

"Dinah, what happened last night was a mistake. My judgement was clouded and I shouldn't have done those things with you. Lets just leave this be and maybe you can have a chance a reconciling your love with Skye."

The taller blonde merely chuckled before standing face to face with me, the feeling of her breath tingled on my skin.

"Don't you get it, Normani? I don't want that bitch anymore, I found someone better, innocent." Her fingers curiously traced down my cheek in a caressing manner. "I will not leave this be."

I regained my composure and moved away from her touch, daring to meet her eyes.

"Please Dinah, can you not share what happened previously to anyone?" I pleaded profusely. "I'll do anything for your secrecy."

"Anything?" A simper etched it's way onto her plump lips as her palm met my exposed thigh, her hand creeping under my skirt.

I regretted those words when I felt her lips glide against my ear.

"I want you. I want you to surrender to my every touch and long for my warmth. You're beyond beautiful baby girl and I want to showcase you to a world full of pleasurable desire that only I can advertise to you."

"No, I can't do that. It defeats my standards in life." I removed her hand from my thigh as retrieved my purse from the stand, making my way to the exit.

"Well you know where to find me when you make your final decision."
-
My last period ended as I followed behind my peers, leaving the classroom. The halls consisted of students chattering away and leaving the school grounds. I ventured outside, venturing through the parking lot to my car. I was attempting to open my car door when a hand halted my actions.

"So did you consider the options?" A grinning Dinah stood in front of me, a cigarette wedge through her teeth.

I looked around the area, noting that no one paid us attention before speaking.

"Listen, Dinah. This isn't the best place to talk about something like this and I can't see myself doing such unholy things like that. I have my own personal morals and so do you but I can't do of what you ask of me."

Dinah shook her head in dismay, puffing out the smoke from the substance before dropping it to the ground, taking the heel of her boot and watched as it simmered out.

"That's to bad princess because you would've experienced heaven for real."

She began to walk away and I wished that I had just let her fade into the distance but I did the opposite of that.

"Dinah!" I called out without pondering over the thought. "I'll do it, as long as you withhold your end of the deal."

The Polynesian suppressed a light smile before blowing a kiss my way and turning around to continue her journey.
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Double update! I'm trying to do justice by this story.

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