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𝐁𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓, the walkers were dead and we watched as our little camp was shadowed in rays of sunlight and death. Corpses littered the ground, both walkers and our own. More walkers than our own, thankfully, but the sight of so many lying in pools of their own scattered blood left the group uneasy.

We couldn't stay here anymore. It was a compromised area. We were too close to the city, anyway. If we were right and now that their main food source had been killed off or already left the city, they were bound to make their way here and we didn't need hundreds more falling into our tents and sing-along campfires.

We started with the walkers before we went to dispose of our people. Nancy had somehow survived with her little knife and was sitting with the kids as the adults got to work. In total, we'd lost at least fourteen people but most importantly, we'd lost Amy. She'd gone off to use the restroom when the walkers came at us and she was one of the first casualties that sprung us into action.

The only person I could say I was glad was dead was Ed. He'd been mauled in his tent while he rested and sulked after his beating. I could only think about how glad I was Carol and Sophia weren't with him stuck in that tent.

Carl kept close to me after reuniting with his parents. He'd gone to them after we made sure the last walker fell and they kept him close up until morning. When the sun rose up behind the trees, he'd come to me and sat against the red car as we watched people begin to move the bodies. It seemed whatever had happened last night cemented whatever small relationship we had forming. It bonded us, well, it bonded him to me and I wasn't mad about it one bit. 

"Where do you think we're gonna go?" asked Carl, balancing his elbows on his knees as he sat against the hood. "Do you think we're gonna leave Atlanta totally?"

I shrugged because I honestly didn't know. "Maybe we'll find some nice farm to live on, or a secluded building out in the middle of nowhere."

"I'd rather live on a farm than in a creepy old building," he said with a sigh. 

"Why?" I asked with a small grin, nudging him gently. "You afraid there might be ghosts?"

He laughed and the sound rung in my ears and in my chest like doves singing. "I'm more afraid of those walkers than I am of ghosts. I don't think anything will ever scare me as bad as they do."

"You never know," I muttered, letting my eyes fall on Daryl and Glenn as they dragged walker bodies to the growing fire pit where we'd once sat around and laughed and ate dinner. "What if swamp things become real? Or–or vampires and werewolves, huh?"

"Ok," he said, "yeah, then I'll be scared."

I rested back on my elbows, craning my head back to feel the heat of the sun spray across my exposed skin. It felt so good I wanted to just close my eyes and bask in it for a while, if not for the smell of rot and for the boy sitting next to me. With one eye open, I squinted over at Carl and said, "You're okay, right, kid? Last night was pretty scary."

He nodded but I frowned.

"You can tell me."

He looked over and I opened both my eyes to give him my full attention. He looked so small with his knees pulled up to his chest and his little arms wrapped around himself. "It was so close to us," he whispered. "I–It could've touched me."

"But it didn't," I said and touched his arm so he would look me in the eyes. "It didn't, okay? They'll never get close enough to you, not when you're with me, and not when you're with your mom and dad."

He nodded but tucked his hands under his knees. "I want to learn...I want to learn how to kill one."

I sat up and touched his shoulder with a frown. He was so young, he didn't need to learn these things. There should have never been a reason for him to ever need to learn. He was just a kid, he should've been going to school and running around outside playing catch with his dad. He shouldn't be terrified every day, he shouldn't feel the need to protect himself like this.

"You know you'll have to ask your parents," I said.

"They'll say no." His face scrunched up with irritation, his brows furrowing deeply. Even when he was upset he looked like Conner, the same funny look of pent up childlike anger. "They treat me like I'm just a kid."

I dropped my hand from his shoulder with a small laugh. "Well, I hate to break it to you, but you are."

"Sam."

"Carl."

"At least help me get them to let me learn?" he asked. "You let me use your knife and...and it was the first time I felt really protected. So, please?"

"Maybe," I murmured, resting back again.

"Maybe?"

I nodded. "Your dad might let you but knowing your mom?" I shook my head with a laugh. "If she won't let me teach you an innocent game of poker, you really think she's gonna let you learn how to shoot and stab?"

He turned to look at me, folding one leg under the other. "Then will you teach me in secret?"

"Hell, no."

"Why not!"

"I am not gonna get on your mom's bad side," I chuckled as my eyes found Rick in the small crowd disposing of our people's bodies in the graves Jim had dug. It seemed the man had known what was going to happen, it seems the gods had given him a reason to dig. "She can be scary when she wants to be."

He pouted but nodded. "Fine, but once I convince them and I will, you'll teach me, right?"

Glenn waved to me from the fire pit, shouting through the camp, "Get off your ass, guts! We've got work to do!"

I looked at Carl as I scooted off the hood of the car. I ruffled his hair and said, "With my help, you'll be shooting bullseyes before you know it."

"Promise?" he asked as I began to walk away and I turned and nodded and said, "Promise!"

As I walked through camp, I could see the true damage of the night. Tents were torn, food and clothes were strewn about as if someone had gone in and torn the place apart. The dirt was soaked with drying blood, red and brown and black. From my right, I caught Carol dragging Ed's body out of their tent and the woman's strength surprised me. Although she was sobbing, I could see something in the way she was holding herself. 

Something that knew they were no longer trapped. They were free.

I crossed the camp and grabbed Ed by the arms to ease the weight off Carol and she looked up and could only nod as she spluttered with tears. The damage to his face was worse up close and I tried not to look into his unseeing eye because there was only one not split open. His nose was completely gone, leaving an empty hole where it should've been and there some of the bones had been crunched and splintered. His blood was drying but if you looked down into the mess, you could see the freshness to the red.

When we'd dragged him far enough, I laid down his arms and upper torso down slowly. I didn't want to disrespect Carol by dropping him to the ground roughly like I might've wanted to because he was still her husband, as horrible as he was. 

She held out her hand to me and whispered, "Can I–?"

I nodded, pulling my ax from my waistband and handing it to her. She rested the weapon against her leg as she stared down at Ed before raising it above her head with both hands and slamming it down into his half broken face. The impact of the blade crunched with a sickening wet sound as she yanked it free with some difficulty only to slam it back down again.

She continued that motion a few more times before handing me my ax and wiping her face with the back of her hand. She was sobbing, clutching her chest with her other hand as she tried to get air to her lungs. I stepped over Ed and touched her gently on the arm until she eased into my grip and her head fell against my shoulder.

"It's okay," I whispered, rubbing her back as she weakly clung to me. "You're safe now."

She was nodding but when she spoke, there was pain in her voice. "I–I shouldn't feel sad, he was–was my life–" She hiccuped and sobbed harder and I could only brush my hand down her back to soothe her the only way I knew how.

"It's okay to be upset," I told her. "You loved him and it's okay to miss him." When I pulled back, I touched her face and swiped my thumb underneath her eyes to wipe some of her tears away and I gave her a sad smile. "Go be with your daughter, I'll take him to Glenn."

She wiped at her cheeks and nodded before stumbling away to find Sophia where Nancy was. I bent down and grabbed Ed by the ankles and tugged. He was heavier in death which made the walk worse but I couldn't just leave him here or take him to the fire pit. It wasn't right. Sophia should be able to bury her father. 

When I finally got the body over to Glenn, he was wiping sweat from his face from where he stood above one of the filled in holes. He pointed to an empty plot and said, "He can go there, grab a shovel will you?"

I nodded and slowly rolled Ed's body into the empty grave before grabbing one of the shovels lying on the ground near us. I had sweat seeping into the back of my shirt and was tempted to take off my flannel and tie it around my waist but I didn't have sunscreen. I wasn't in the mood to dare my skin to get sunburnt, especially under this heat. Skin cancer would only add to our growing problems. 

"You think we're gonna leave today?" I asked as I began to fill the hole.

Glenn nodded. "No way we're staying here through the night. We got to get as far from the city as possible." He glanced back at me, resting against his shovel. "I heard someone say we should head for the C.D.C."

"But that's in the city," I mumbled. "Don't we want to stay clear of that? Like you just said?"

"What if there's people there that can help us?"

"You really wanna test that theory?" I asked. "Just 'cause some of the walkers came through here doesn't mean that all of them have left. There's gotta be thousands more just waiting for us to make that mistake."

"You're right but–"

"But?"

"But if there's someone there, they can shelter us. That place is supposed to be a fortress."

I rolled my eyes. I dug my shovel into the pile Jim had left when he'd been digging the day before and flung dirt down onto Ed's body. I had a feeling I should've asked Carol and Sophia if they wanted to do this as an act of mourning but I swallowed down that thought and continued refilling the hole.

From down by the fire, I heard Jacqui exclaim something loudly and I turned my head, frowning. Glenn did the same, dropping his shovel and motioning for me to follow him down towards the others as the woman yelled again.

"A walker got Jim! Jim's bit!"

Glenn and I slowed to a stop by the RV as people began to surround Jim in a loose circle. The man was sweating and I let my eyes run over him to find the the source of the panic and my eyes slowed on a ruined spot on his shirt. It wasn't torn but there were obvious teeth marks in the fabric and the light discoloration of blood.

"Show us!" spat someone to our side and Jim shook his head.

"I'm okay," he said, desperate. "I'm okay, I'm okay–"

T-Dog raced up behind him before Jim could react, restraining his before Rick strode forward and pulled Jim's shirt back. A collective gasp went through the camp before silence burned all of us. The bite was large and thick, Jim's skin swollen around the wound with a puffy red coloration. The teeth marks were deep and it showed us the full jaw of the walker. 

"I'm okay," repeated Jim as T-Dog released him and took a few steps back. "I'm okay, guys, I'm okay. I'm okay."

But by the slight sway in his step and the lightness in his voice, it told us everything we needed to know.

"I say we put a pickax in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it," snapped Daryl, a pickaxe resting by his side. We had circled up together a little way from Jim who sat outside the RV where Rick and Shane told him to stay put. With Jim being bit, Andrea who was cradling Amy's body, and the dozens of dean bodies around us, we had more problems than we could count.

"Is that what you'd want?" snapped Shane, looking up from where he rested against the hood of one of the cars. "If it were you?"

Daryl wasted no time responding as he nodded. "Yeah and I'd thank you while you did it."

"I hate to say it–" muttered Dale, adjusting the rifle on his shoulder. "I never thought I would but maybe Daryl's right."

Rick shook his head, his hands planted on his hips as he said, "Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog."

"I'm not suggesting that–"

"He's sick," spat Rick. "A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?"

"Line's pretty clear," said Daryl. "Zero tolerance for walkers or them to be."

I nodded slowly and Rick's eyes flashed to me as I said, "He's right. What if we hadn't found out he'd been bit? And he'd been with us? Or the kids when he turned?"

"But that's not happening'," said Rick, his eyes burning into me like what I said was against the rules. He hadn't expected me to talk against him, he thought I'd automatically be on his side. "What if we can get him help?" He glanced around the group. "I heard the C.D.C. was workin' on a cure."

I scoffed, shaking my head with an irritated chuckle. "You really think there's gonna be people there who can help us?" Rick stared at me, his brows furrowing. "We've all heard about the C.D.C. and what they could do for us but they haven't been able to do shit."

Shane nodded. "We all heard that. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell."

"Okay but what if the C.D.C. is still up and running?" urged Rick, desperate to save this man who we all knew couldn't be saved. Jim was dead the second the walker closed its jaws around him, there was no going back.

"It's exactly what Sam said," muttered Shane. "It's a huge stretch."

"But why?" Rick put his hands back on his hips and I noticed he was still wearing his uniform trousers. "If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the C.D.C. at all costs, wouldn't they?" He had a slight point but I held back my nod of agreement. I couldn't allow myself to get my hopes up, not until we were standing in front of the place and being let inside. "I think it's our best shot. Shelter, protection–"

"Okay, Rick, you want those things, all right?" said Shane. "I do too, okay? Now if they exist, they're at the army base. Fort Benning."

"That's a hundred miles in the opposite direction," muttered Lori.

Shane nodded. "That's right, but it's away from the hot zone. Now listen to me, if that place is operational, it'll be heavily armed. We'd be safe there."

"The military were on the front lines of this thing," said Rick, disagreeing. "They got overrun, we've all seen that."

I nodded quickly, jumping on Rick's defense as if to make up for our slight disagreement earlier. "They were the first things to fall. Everyone runnin' to the same place? It was like ringing the damn dinner bell."

Rick gave me a quick thankful look before saying, "The C.D.C. is our best choice and Jim's only chance."

I caught Daryl glancing back at Jim as T-Dog did but the man was just sitting there. He didn't look like a threat on the outside but I knew what was festering underneath his skin. Daryl glanced back at us and said, "You go looking for aspirin, do what you need to do." He began to back up and as he turned, he snapped loudly as he raised his pickax, "Someone needs to have the balls to take care of this damn problem!" 

"Hey, hey, hey!" cried Rick, racing behind him as he pulled his gun on him. He pressed the gun to the back of Daryl's head and the man slowed. "We don't kill the living."

Shane walked around to put himself between Daryl and Jim as Daryl muttered, "That's funny comin' from the man who just put a gun to my head."

Shane cocked his head to the side. "We may disagree on some things, not on this. You put it down." He glanced down at the weapon in Daryl's hands with a subtle nod of his head. "Go on."

Daryl glanced back at Rick with a scowl before slamming the weapon into the ground and stalking off. With the weapon out of his hands, Rick stepped towards Jim and the man, still cowering from his near death from Daryl, pressed himself against the RV as Rick grabbed him.

"You're comin' with me," said Rick as he hauled Jim to his feet.

"Where you taking me?"

Rick pulled him along. "Somewhere safe."

As they walked away, I turned back towards the graves as everyone began to disperse. There was no point in talking anymore when we all knew what was going to happen. Jim was being protected and somehow, so was Amy until she turned. There was no way anyone was going to get between Andrea and her sister's body without a fight.

Dale walked over to the girl and sat down beside her and I watched them. I sometimes forgot that Dale had rescued the two in the city when things began to fall, that they'd traveled together. They'd become a small family and it was hard to watch them talk over the dead body of one of their own. It only made me wish we didn't have to do this for anyone else. That there would be no more bodies for us to bury or burn but I knew that would never be the case.

I continued to watch the heartbreak until someone came up next to me with a soft sigh. "It's just a tragedy, isn't it?" murmured Nancy as she played with the cross necklace around her neck. "Seein' them like that is just so...sad."

"Did you know Amy well before this?" I asked, curious.

Nancy shook her head. "We'd talk when we'd clean the clothes but..." She let out a soft chuckle. "There was a generation gap."

"Ah," I said with a nod, "can't really compare stories about texting and boys, huh?"

"Somethin' like that," she said with an amused grin of her own. She reached out and touched my arm and whispered, "You were so good with that boy last night. I'd never seen you like that."

What about Conner? What about everything I've done for him? 

Did you shut your eyes and turn your head to the violence within our own home?

I nodded slowly. "Only did what we all would've done. He's a good kid."

"He remind you of Conner?"

I nodded again even though the sound of his name made my throat want to close up. I could see Conner in every little thing and it only made me realize how much farther away I was getting from him. I couldn't leave the group, I knew my best option at survival was with them, but if I didn't go off and look for Conner, then how was I ever going to find him?

I could only hope that we get somewhere safe, safe enough where I could go out scouting. If I had the chance to look around, to drive up the highway away from the city, I could narrow it down. I just needed more time.

"We'll find him," said Nancy as if she was reading my thoughts. "We've just got to entertain this C.D.C. idea and when that falls through, we'll be off again and we can look."

"You really think it's going to be a bust?"

"Don't you?"

"I mean...yeah," I murmured with a shrug. "I get why Rick wants to go but Jim's a lost cause," I motioned towards the RV where Rick had disappeared inside with the man, "a bite is a bite, there's no comin' back from that."

"Just swear to me, that if I get bit," whispered Nancy in a voice I didn't recognize coming from her, "that you put me down before I turn."

My brows furrowed as I looked at her. She was staring straight ahead towards Andrea, still playing with her necklace, a far away look in her eyes. "Wh-what?"

"I can't turn into one of those things," she said, her voice soft but I could detect a slight tremble. She was terrified. "I can't come back and hurt you or–or anyone." She turned and met my eyes. "Just promise me you'll do it?"

"Mom–"

"Please, Sam."

My lips parted at the sound of her calling me by the name I'd always screamed and argued over. How many times I'd beg her to just forget about calling me Samantha, that it was too serious, that I couldn't handle being someone important within our family. It made me feel like there were rules only made for me, that with that name I had to be the daughter who never spoke out, who never wore jeans or shorts when around company, who would always smile and greet people with politeness.

I let my lips close and I nodded firmly. It was the best I could do for her.

In the end, Andrea put down Amy when she reanimated. The gun shot rang through the camp like church bells and I could only picture flags at half mast in my mind when she finally laid the girl to rest. Dale helped her wrap her body then move her to one of the open graves as everyone watched.

Nancy kept her arm around me as Andrea began to fill the grave. We could only stand and watch, allowing her to find her own peace in her mourning. When it was over and the group was headed back to the main camp, I could feel the tension pooling from Rick and Lori from our conversations earlier about what to do with Jim.

The C.D.C. was a better option than Fort Benning, I knew that, but I didn't want to risk going back into the city. I caught a glimpse of Rick and Lori speaking up on the path overlooking the camp as Carl walked down to hang out with Sophia. I could only sit and stoke the fire, feeding the flames so the walker bodies could finally leave this earth. Ash was better than blood and rot.

I watched the pair head over to the RV to check on Jim and when Lori exited the vehicle, Shane was waiting. I couldn't hear what they were saying but when Rick walked out five minutes later, the conversation looked serious.

I ducked my head, focusing on sharpening my ax before I heard my name.

"Sam!" called Shane, a rifle on his shoulder and his baseball hat stuffed into one of his pockets. "We're doin' a sweep!"

I stood with a frown and walked over, keeping my ax in my hand. There was no point in using a gun when I could just as easily take out a walker with a knife. "You need me for that?"

"You're one of the best in the camp with a weapon," said Shane as I walked beside him, Rick and Dale up ahead a few steps. "Figured I'd get you in on some of this."

"Aw," I murmured with a smirk, "it sounds like you really like me."

"Yeah," he said with a laugh, "I really like you with a gun."

I followed them out in the woods and Shane took Rick with him to look around as Dale and I took the other side. I'd learned from John at a young age to know my way around the forest. Unfortunate for him, I didn't know how to hunt or track for shit. He tried to teach me countless times as if I was going to be living out here and foraging for my own at ten, but no matter how many times he went over the steps and the signs, I couldn't keep up with it.

All I knew was that if I saw footprints in the mud or dirt, it was good sign that something had gone through here. I knew that if there were broken branches, something big was around. Other than that, I was pretty clueless. 

It was a good kick in the face for John to realize his daughter couldn't do one more thing he asked. It was like his whole purpose was destroyed knowing I couldn't live up to his expectations and I think that was another reason he wanted to have another kid, preferably a boy.

He always wanted a boy.

But when Conner was born and he was weak and so small, it only proved John's theory that the universe didn't want him to have anything good. He didn't deserve it to begin with but he thought he deserved the world, that he was the king of all things and he should've been showered with gifted children and ripe foods and a beautiful wife. He just didn't understand how unimportant he truly was.

"Let's head back around," said Dale, motioning for me to follow him.

As I survey the area and the thick trees full of soft green leaves, I glanced at Dale. "You think Jim's gonna survive 'til the C.D.C.?"

Dale shrugged. "I...I haven't seen what the disease does up close, I have no way of knowing." He looked at me from across the path we were forging and he shrugged again. "It's different with everybody, I'm thinking. Amy didn't turn for hours and that was after she'd died. We have no clue of knowing what Jim's going to do."

I nodded because he was right. I hadn't seen someone turn, not up close. I'd seen people get mauled and torn apart and shredded by teeth and hands but I'd never seen the aftermath. But Jim was already wracked with fever, his body was fighting but it wouldn't be able to for much longer. 

"What do you think about the Fort Benning idea?" he asked.

"I think it's just as shit as the C.D.C.," I muttered before clearing my throat to explain my reasoning. "I mean, let's think of this as logically as we can, okay? The military, like Rick said, was at the front lines of this thing. They were in the city and fighting, we saw the damage of that and the leftovers to what they couldn't do. Wouldn't the first places to turn be the bases?" Dale nodded softly after a moment of thought. "The bases have guns, food, shelter, at least that's what they had been tellin' us. We have no way of knowing if that was true or just a ploy to get people away from the cities to contain what was spreading."

Dale's brows furrowed and he studied me with a slight wrinkle in his brows. "How do you know so much about this?"

"I listened to the broadcasts, like everyone else," I said with a shrug. How did I tell him I was raised to be aware of everything? That I was trained at a young age to prepare for the very worst, to think through the emergency plans and counter them with every decision and action I could think of? "So, the thing with Benning is that it was probably one of the first things to fall after the city. People are stupid, we know that. We just saw it with Jim, how he hid his bite. If you're scared and looking for a place to take you in and the only way they will is if you're clean, wouldn't you lie too? If you're desperate enough?"

"So, you think we should go to the C.D.C after all of this?" he asked, gauging me for my own opinion. 

I shrugged. "What's better to you? Staying here and doing nothing but sitting on our asses where we can get ambushed again or go looking for a possible solution that probably doesn't exist and still get ambushed?"

Dale chuckled softly and I could see Shane and Rick up ahead as they scouted the area. "You've got a point. Why sit and twiddle or thumbs when we could be doing something?"

"Even if it fails?"

He nodded. "Might as well have a little hope, don't you think?"

I shook my head, stepping over a few broken branches, too big to be caused by a walker. "I find it's easier not to be hopeful or optimistic, don't want to hold onto something I'm goin' to lose anyway." I tossed my ax in front of me, letting it spin in the air so I could catch it again in my palm. "I'll admit it though, I had a friend tell me about the C.D.C. and I thought it was bullshit even then but...listen, I know I don't need that hope or wishful thinking but the other's do." My eyes found Rick as he walked away from Shane to investigate something ahead. "And my own beliefs don't matter when it comes to keeping the spirit up. The kids need a win, hell, Rick needs a win."

"Then we go to the C.D.C. and we see what we can find," said Dale as we slowed to a stop to watch the two men. "If it can help Jim, then that's all the convincing some people are going to need." 

He adjusted his weight on either foot, leaning to the side as he slung his rifle over his shoulder. He looked young for a moment as he stared off into the woods, younger than he'd acted or even been the few days prior. Something about him standing here in the woods changed things. It was almost peaceful here. 

I watched as Shane raised his rifle to his eye, his breathing rough. I could hear it even from where I stood as he pointed his gun towards Rick in the distance. His shoulders shook with tension and his eyes narrowed before he let out a large sigh and lowered the gun.

Dale shuffled over to him and gave him a long look and the two men exchanged a few words before we were heading back to camp to discuss what we were going to be doing. I had a feeling we would be heading to the C.D.C. no matter what anyone said and the thought alone made my skin crawl.

I didn't want to show up and have nothing happen. I didn't want to see Rick crushed with the reality that there really was no one here to help us. That this was never going to end.

We circled up around a small fire as Shane and Rick walked up from a short chat near the RV. I sat close to Nancy who had her hand in mine. It didn't seem right to keep fighting her when it took all my energy to do so. It was easier to allow her to act like a mother then to push her away and have her true face show.

"I've been, uh, I've been thinkin' about Rick's plan," said Shane as he came to stand before us. He rested his gun on the ground and rested his foot on a crate so he could lean down. "Now look, there are no–" He looked around. "–no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that." He looked up and met Rick's eye as the other men crouched down. "I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts."

You just want to see him get burned.

"I say the most important thing here is that we need to stay together," said Shane as his eyes filtered over every single one of us. He stood before us like a leader and I didn't know whether that was a good thing or not. "So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning. Okay?"

I felt people around my look at each other and I kept my eyes on my boots. We were leaving and there wasn't much I could do or say to get around it. I could only cross my fingers and pray Rick was right, that Morgan was right.

"Everybody listen up," said Shane as he and Rick gathered in front of us and our caravan of cars ready to hit the road. It was early morning, the sun coming up behind them and the light cascading all around us like the heavens were here to tell us this was the right thing to do. "Those of you with CBs, we'll be on channel forty. Let's keep the chatter down, okay?" He glanced around and I felt his eyes run over me as he continued down the group. "Now you got a problem, don't have a CB, can't get a signal or anything at all, you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?"

I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. I didn't like the idea of making noise but even if we honked, it wouldn't matter. The roar of our engines would be enough to draw anything dead closer to us.

"We're, uh," started Morales as he glanced around, "we're not going."

The silence was enough to cut through us everyone turned to stare shocked. Morales' wife, Miranda, spoke up. "We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people."

Shane sighed. "You go on your own , you won't have anyone to watch your back."

"We'll take the chance," said Morales. "I gotta do what's best for my family."

"You sure?" asked Rick and Morales nodded.

"We talked about it. We're sure."

Rick and Shane bent down, going through the gun back before pulling out a small pistol and a box of ammo. They handed it over to Morales as Lori walked up to hug the family, kissing the tops of the kid's heads as a goodbye. From next to me, Daryl scoffed softly under his breath as Shane handed over the ammo and I swallowed my own obnoxious reaction.

We couldn't be giving away what little we had but even as I thought that, I mentally slapped myself. Morales had two kids to protect, he needed as much protection as he could get and if that meant taking half a box of our ammo, then fine. Just meant we'd have to find more of our own along the way.

I helped Rick duct tape a message for Morgan on the red car we were leaving behind before we got on the road. Inside a small plastic case was a map so Morgan would know where to go if he wound up here. I'd nearly forgotten about the radio Rick had and he explained to me how he left him a few messages and we could only sit back and pray he'd heard them.

Getting in our cars to leave, I was pulled into the church van T-Dog had by Nancy. Andrea was sitting in the front seat so I couldn't escape my mother's toxic words as we began to drive off.

She clutched my hand desperately for majority of the ride, clinging to my skin as if just a touch of it would keep her alive. I understood her need for contact, to keep herself glued to life as much as possible, but her touch always made me queasy. It made me feel like something was coming, something far worse than anything I could've imagined.

Her touch reminded me of pain in my jaw and abdomen. Her touch reminded me of crying and screaming and wailing. So, when the caravan was told to stop as the RV up ahead began to smoke, I found a horrible sense of joy knowing I could get away.

The cars slowed to a stop on the side of the road and we gathered near the RV as Dale inspected what he knew was the inevitable. 

"Told you we'd never get far on that hose," said Dale as the RV hissed. "I said I needed the one from the cube van."

Rick stood up from where he was squatting to look at the mess inside the RV. When he stood, he put his hat back on his head and said, "You think you can jury-rig it?"

Dale shrugged, his hands up with a sigh. "That's all it's been so far. It's more duct tape than hose. And I'm out of duct tape."

"I'm sure there's somewhere up the road that has something we can use," I said as Shane brought up his binoculars. 

He nodded and said, "I see somethin' up ahead. A gas station if we're lucky."

We all looked up the road to see as Jacqui came barreling out of the RV. "Y'all, Jim..." she breathed, shaking her head, "...it's bad. I don't think he can take anymore."

Shane glanced over at us from where he stood on the road. "Hey Rick, you want to hold down the fort? I'll drive ahead and see what I can bring back."

T-Dog nodded as he used the binoculars. "I'll come along too and back you up."

"Y'all keep your eyes open now," said Shane as he started headed back towards his car. "We'll be right back."

Rick bowed his head and headed to the RV and I watched him hesitate for just a moment before going inside. I knew this was it for Jim, that even if he was still alive in there he wouldn't be for long. The infection was going to wipe him out and it was better it do it here then when we were on the road.

When Rick came back out, he motioned for us to circle up and explained that Jim wanted to be left here. It was as if a collective hand was pressing down on our shoulders at the news, the pressure getting harder as Rick spoke. "It's what he wants," he said, defeated.

"And he's lucid?" asked Carol, shocked. She'd taken a shift taking care of Jim when we'd been back at the quarry and eve then he hadn't been in his right mind.

Rick nodded and wiped his nose. "He seems to be. I would say...yes."

"Back at the camp," said Dale, his voice like a gentle warning, "when I said Daryl might be right and you shut me down..." He shook his head softly. "You misunderstood. I would never go along with–with callously killing a man. I was just going to suggest that we ask Jim what he wants. And I think we have an answer."

"And he wants to just be left here?" I asked. Left to die alone?

"And what are we supposed to do?" said Shane. "Just take off? Man, I'm not sure I could live with that."

"It's not your call," said Lori, her voice like a whisper, "either one of you."

Rick nodded and motioned with his head for Shane to help him. The two went inside the RV as we waited outside and moments later, they brought Jim out. They gripped him under the arms and half carried him over to the side of the road, sitting him down underneath a tree so he could sit up.

Just from that movement alone, I could see the pain running through his entire body. His breathing was raspy and labored, his limbs barely working. When they adjusted him against the tree, he heaved in a great breath.

"Hey," Jim murmured, looking up, "another damn tree." 

Shane smiled at that softly as he crouched down beside him. "Hey, Jim...I mean, you know it doesn't need to be this."

"No," said Jim softly. "It's good...the breeze...feels nice."

Shane nodded, murmuring, "Okay, alright," as he backed away.

Jacqui walked around the little group huddled around him, going to Jim's side and taking his hand. "Just close your eyes, sweetie," she whispered to him, her free hand gently touching his face. "Don't fight." She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek and when she pulled away and stood back up, she sucked in a deep breath to calm herself as she walked away. Nancy took her by the arm and the pair headed back towards the RV.

Rick stepped past Shane and knelt beside the dying man, resting a hand against the tree to steady himself. "Jim, do you want this?" Rick held out a small pistol in his free hand and Jim glanced down.

"No," he said with barely a shake to his head. "You'll need it. I'm okay."

He doesn't want to take away one of our guns. He doesn't want to leave us without a weapon.

When Rick was done, it was Dale who walked up next. It was a small caravan of people going up to say goodbye and my gut tightened at the thought of loosing something else. Dale crouched down in front of him and patted his ankle. "Thanks for, uh, fighting for us," said Dale, the emotion creeping up in his voice as his lips pursed to stop crying. 

Jim only nodded and took in a deep breath.

The others around us looked at him and gave him one final nod of their heads and sad looks before heading back to the cars. I couldn't find myself to move and neither could Daryl as he stood there, chewing on his bottom lip. When he looked up, he walked up just a few steps and nodded his head to Jim and gave him one last look before walking away.

I couldn't find make myself walk back to the cars so I approached the man slowly. He didn't deserve to die out here alone, no matter how much he might want to make us leave. He shouldn't be left to face this on his own, to suffer all the way out. It's not what I would've wanted, I don't think. He looked up at me as I stared down at him and I let out a slow breath as I crouched down like everyone before me.

"Jim..." I started, shaking my head as emotion hurdled up my throat. "I can...I can end it for you."

"Sam..."

I reached out and took his hand in mine so softly because I knew how much he hurt and he let out a soft sigh. "I–let me do this for you, if it's what you want."

"You..." He shook his head. "I can't ask you...to do that."

I shook my head back at him as a tear fell past my lashes and ran down my cheeks. "I want to do this," I said, nodding my head to reassure myself. "I can end this pain, you can...you can finally see your family."

He squeezed my hand softly and I realized it was all the strength he had left. "Don't waste...a bullet on me," he murmured and I shook my head.

"Jim..."

"It's okay," he tried to reassure me but I shook my head again. The look in his eyes told me another story, one that he was tired of fighting but he knew if he let go, he'd turn into one of them. He knew what it all meant.

"You don't have to end up like one of them," I breathed. "You don't have to do this yourself."

I can't let him do this. I can't let him see himself turn into one of the things he fears most.

He looked up at me, his eyes ringed with red from both exhaustion and crying. There was sweat across his brow and soaked into his hair and clothes. Even the hand I held was clammy and wet.

"Please," I whispered as a sob threatened to break past my lips. I swallowed thickly and pulled out my gun and held it in my palm. "Your fight is over, Jim, you...you deserve to rest. I know you declined Rick's offer for the gun but...but you deserve to be free from this."

I heard my name be called from down by the cars and I didn't bother to look back. I needed Jim to know I could do this, I needed to know I could. I'd seen people get torn to shreds and beaten and ruined from the inside out, he didn't deserve to take one more breath of brutal pain when he could be gone, when he didn't need to become one of them.

If I could stop that for him, I would.

"Make it quick," he finally breathed and I nodded. 

Tears fell down my cheeks quicker and I moved so I could hold him against me and the tree. I ran my fingers over his head, smoothing out his hair and wiping sweat from his face. He rested against me and closed his eyes, his body unbelievably still except for the few jostled breaths he'd make. I made sure the children weren't watching as I raised my gun and pressed it gently against his head.

"You'll be free now, Jim," I whispered. "You'll–you'll be safe."

I put my finger on the trigger and took in a deep breath but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pull the damn thing. How could I take a life? Even one so damaged and hurt? I felt my finger shake over the trigger and Jim moved gently.

"It's okay," he whispered with a nod. "This is what I want."

I nodded and readjusted my grip on the gun. This is what he wants, this is what he wants. I took in a long breath and as I exhaled I pulled the trigger. The gun shot echoed around me as his skull cracked and exploded out the other side, the sound ringing in my ears. I felt his blood spill out against my shirt and the hand I had clutching his shoulder as I slowly pulled myself away from him and laid his body gently against the ground.

When I stood, I rested a hand against the tree to steady myself and get my breathing back under control as I sobbed. He looked better now, all the tension in his body gone as he laid against the ground as if he were just sleeping.

"Sam!" shouted Rick as he ran up the hill, leaving his family by the cars. "What the hell did you just do?!"

I turned to face him, I could see the rage bubbling up across his face. "I asked him and he told me it was okay." No one had asked him–

"We don't kill the living!"

In a flash, my blood was boiling. "He wasn't fucking living, Rick!" I snapped back before pointing down at the body between us. "He was already dead! Couldn't you see that?"

Rick pointed a finger at me, his face going red. "We agreed not too–" 

"You agreed," I spat. "I didn't." I pushed away from the tree, wiping the blood off my hand against my pant leg. "I told him I would do this for him and he let me. It's exactly what Dale said, we just needed to ask him what we wanted."

Rick was shaking his head, following me as the people below gave me solemn looks. There was no anger in their eyes, just understanding, a deep knowing that no matter what happened, Jim was dead anyway.

"Sam," said Rick from behind me in a warning tone. 

I spun to look at him once we'd walked down the small hill and away from the body because that was he was now. Just a body. There was no soul left. "You're just mad because I did what you couldn't."

Rick narrowed his eyes into a glare. "I didn't ask you to–"

"You didn't have to!" I cried, shaking my head at him. I did this because I knew it was the right thing, that this was what Jim had wanted but he was too afraid to ask. I asked for him and allowed him to nod and agree. He didn't have to say it out loud, he didn't have to confront it. "Look me in the eyes, Rick, and tell me if that were you up there that you wouldn't want me to do the same thing!" I stalked forward and poked him hard in the chest as he glared. "Tell me you wouldn't want the same."

"We don't kill the living," he repeated back.

I glared. "We shouldn't let them suffer, either."

AUTHOR'S NOTE━━you all think what sam did was right or should she have just respected what rick/the group said???

let me know what u think!!! also do u like the little scenes of sam/dale ?? also....how we feel about sam/shane...................

also this chap is for kIlingboys your comments make my entire day and ilysm!!!!!! <33333 forever grateful 

vote/comment and maybe i'll kiss u....ON THE LIPS......