Veronica's birthday

I'm that unlucky. My 'first' day of school is exactly during my birthday but I cannot miss any other day, the principal already said I'd have to go to summer school or I'll completely fall behind and repeat my junior year.

It's not like I even have anything planned for today, I think the only people who know it's my birthday are Nicole and Louis.

I woke up early today, surprisingly.

I walk to the bathroom and I brush my teeth and my hair.

My hair is so thin and dull, it used to be so healthy, long, and full before.

I look at myself for a few more seconds and I wish I could say I like what I see, but I don't.

I used to think I was pretty decent, average body but now I look malnourished and like I could faint anytime, with dark circles and red eyes all the time.

My skin looks horrible, a few pimples on my forehead and they only started appearing when I started smoking. I should stop...

But I know I won't.

I put on a pair of baggy ugly jeans and a light blue top with a bit of cleavage, although my breasts are small.

I can't wait for school to be over so I can party and do cocaine every day.

I grab some old shoes I haven't worn in months and I don't even think I bothered to clean them recently.

Gosh, I'm disgusting. I used to put effort into my appearance because I truly cared about myself. Now even taking a shower feels like a chore.

Maybe I should try... for once, to put myself together. Maybe tonight I'll have a couple of drinks with Dominic.

It's my birthday after all. I'm turning seventeen years old and it's not making me feel any better. I just feel worse.

Almost eight months since I lost everything, it never gets better.

I walk to the school and after fifteen minutes I arrive. I did not miss this place.

The moment people notice my presence they all turn to me and obsessively stare as if I look horrible and unrecognizable.

I can't blame them.

I sprint inside and I'm glad I see Nicole... although I can't say the same about Louis.

I'm still angry at him, he could have done so much more for her.

"Hey, how are you?" I ask Nicole and she smiles. She is wearing a lot of makeup, especially foundation.

She was always big on makeup but it feels weird and uneven today.

"I'm fine. I'm glad you are back," she says giving me a quick hug and I frown when I accidentally look at Louis.

I wonder what Derek is up to, it's been two weeks since I last saw him. He called me a few times but I ignored him, I don't want to get too attached.

He also said he was gonna handle James but I don't know anything about that.

"I'm sorry for asking but do you know anything about James?" I ask her curiously, I'm just worried Derek got in trouble.

She immediately flinches when she hears his name and I regret the question.

"Ehm- I- I don't know." She is lying. Definitely. But I don't want to pressure her.

Louis is staring at me and it's frankly annoying.

"Ronnie, it's not like you think. I didn't know he hit her," he explains himself and I finally look up at him.

"She only told me about the time he shoved her," he continues as if it's making it any better.

"So you knew," I simply state and I look at Nicole. She seems uncomfortable with our talk.

"I gotta go," I say, his presence makes me too awkward. "Take care, Nicole," I mumble giving her another hug and she gives me a faint broken smile.

I walk to my Biology class and as I am about to enter, I hear my name.

"Veronica Reeves?"

"Yes. I heard she is doing cocaine and fucking old men for money."

"That's so gross," the other girl says and they burst out laughing.

"I mean, her adoptive daddy died, no wonder."

"Imagine having a daughter like that." She laughs and I go in closer so I can hear better.

"James was at the party and he said her dad had a heart attack because he saw her with an old man in bed."

What the fuck are they saying? Is James spreading bullshit about me?

How dare they talk about my dad like this-

"Oh, Olivia is also fucking Veronica's boyfriend."

What? Are they talking about Derek? They can't be talking about him.

He is not even my boyfriend. He told me he has been with her only once.

"She has a boyfriend? I seriously doubt that- I mean, she spreads her legs for cocaine." They both burst out laughing.

I swallow the knot forming in my throat, pushing back the tears. I don't care what they say about me, but not my dad. Not when I still feel guilty about his death.

"Her life is a mess. Poor girl." I take a glance at them and the taller girl has long brown hair and the other one has blonde hair with a few pink highlights. They are both laughing and the brunette is sitting on the chair.

I see them often in my biology class but I have never talked to them.

I wipe away the few tears I had in the corner of my eyes and I walk up to them with the only glimpse of confidence I have left.

I will never let anyone spread bullshit about me, no matter what. I can cry later.

They are shocked the moment they see me and the brunette stands up.

Oh, so I see, they only have the courage to talk shit behind my back.

"Say it to my face," I spit and the blonde looks down.

"What? Haven't I made myself clear?" I walk towards them and they just stare at me.

"You only have balls when I'm not in the room?" The brunette looks away and I laugh bitterly.

"I wasn't talking about you- I mean, we weren't." Her blonde friend is trying to fool me but I heard my full name.

I go closer to the blondie's face and she takes a step back.

"If you talk shit about me one more time- I promise you, you will regret it." I push her and she almost loses balance. She is way shorter than me.

The brunette immediately walks to her and they whisper something inaudible.

I hate people like them, they would spread any lie about me as long as it makes their lives more interesting, but they would never have the courage to say it to my face.

Some of the stuff they said was true, but it doesn't matter, it doesn't give them the right to judge me without knowing me.

Was the thing about Derek and Olivia true too?

I sit down and I can still feel both of them staring at me. I used to be a very non-confrontational person, even when they did me wrong but now I just don't care anymore.

~

I sit through all the boring lessons and as soon as I hear the bell ring I sigh a breath of relief. Finally.

Now I remember how much I used to hate school.

I walk out of the class and James is near Nicole's locker. Oh, hell, no.

He looks fine. I just hope Derek is fine too.

As soon as he sees Nicole he walks towards her, and she takes a step back.

I observe for a few more moments before I decide to step in.

"Please, I'm sorry. You know how I am when I'm drunk," he is begging her and I roll my eyes.

If she falls for this crap, again...

"I don't believe you," she replies and I'm finally happy she does the right thing.

"You heard her, now leave." I interrupt and he looks down at me with his usual arrogant expression.

"Not your business, babe," he spits.

"It is her business. Please, leave," Nicole replies and I crack a smile while he seems frustrated he can't fool Nicole anymore.

I get shivers down my spine remembering when he kissed me against my will and he notices my mood changing so he laughs.

I want to punch him.

"You did the right thing," I say to Nicolle and she smiles.

Then I notice a slight bruise under her right eye, which was previously hidden by foundation and concealer.

"What's that?" I say pointing to her eye and she flinches.

"Oh- no, nothing," she replies and I feel my fists tensing. What the fuck?

She is lying, someone did that to her and if I hear it was James, again, well, I don't care what is going to happen to me.

I'll murder him.

"If you don't communicate, how am I supposed to help you?"

She rolls her eyes.

"Ohh- I see, now you are the one talking about communicating when you ignored and treated us like shit for months," she hisses at me and I frankly don't know what to say. She is right but I'm trying to change that.

"It's not the same."

"Yeah, it's never the same for you," Nicole spits back and before I can even say anything, she walks away.

I walk outside the school and I recognize Dominic's car, he is leaning against it and the moment he sees me he waves with a big smile on his face.

"Hello, birthday girl," he exclaims while hugging me tightly.

"You look like a mess, is school that bad?" he jokes and I laugh.

I never get offended because I know he is only messing with me.

"Don't answer, college is even worse," he finishes and I disagree. It has to be better than a school full of immature, hormonal snakes.

"So, tonight you are coming to Shanice's house and I won't take no for an answer."

"No-"

"Stop. You are coming. It's gonna be a small party, I swear." I roll my eyes.

"I'll make sure James doesn't come, that sounds better?"

"I'm not in the mood for partying-" I explain and he cuts me off.

"You turn seventeen only once." He pauses for a bit as he looks at Louis, "Maybe you need some birthday sex," he finishes and I playfully shove him.

"No." I laugh. "I think you need it more than me."

"So, are you offering?" he asks and I smack him again while he giggles.

~

I decided to go, just like Dominic said, I'm only turning seventeen years old once and only for tonight. I also get free presents and maybe some cocaine...

It's barely eight PM and I decide to get ready, today is the day in which I put a bit of effort into my appearance so maybe I can forget how much I hate myself, at least for one night.

I apply some concealer on my dark circles and almost faded pimples. I also try to hide the redness on my face, especially near the nose.

Surprisingly I already look better. Makeup can do miracles.

Then I put on some eyeliner which comes kinda messy, so I put on a bit of dark eyeshadow to try to save it, and I finish with mascara.

I take a second look at my eyes and I decide to put more eyeshadow on the lower eyelid too. It's my birthday after all.

I don't put on any lipstick, it goes away after thirty minutes and I'm too lazy to reapply it, some chapstick works fine.

I straighten my already straight hair and I brush it well after what feels like ages. Even though it's straight, it always has some weird waves.

My closet is a mess and I can't find anything good in it, especially since I lost a few pounds. Everything is baggy. I manage to find a black dress with a shiny top I wore at the first party ever with Nicole and Louis. When he kissed me.

Taking a better look at myself, I look almost the same as I did at that party when everything was better. Apart from my new short hair, sad eyes, aged skin, and weight loss.

I hear the car's honk and I just know it's Dominic, he doesn't have a lot of patience.

"Mom, I'm going out."

Our relationship has changed so much, she is back to her old ways without controlling me, the only thing she wants from me is to not smoke, do drugs, or drink.

Every time I leave the house I promise to not break her trust, and it's exactly what I do. I regret it but the need for escaping is stronger than mine.

"Just be careful, please. Where are you going?" she asks exhausted, she seems so done with life.

"My friends threw a party for my birthday, I'll call you when I get there." She nods and I hug her.

I walk outside, towards Dominic's car and I see Louis sitting next to him.

What?

I go to the rear door and right as I enter I also see Nicole.

"Oh, hi," I mutter and everyone turns to me.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!" Dominic sings alone while we all stare at him.

"Guys, you are so boring!" he snaps at us and we all burst out in a laugh.

This ride is the most awkward moment I've had in ages, Dominic trying to make us talk and singing while Louis and Nicole don't even talk to me. It seems that they are still mad but decided to come to my birthday party?

"Is James there too?" Nicole finally speaks and we all look at her perplexed.

"No, he isn't," Dominic replies.

Shortly after we arrive, I realize how much this house became my second home from how often I have been here, the good and bad memories. I just hope tonight is better.

"You look amazing," Alexander tells me and I take a glance at him, then I look him up and down. He looks good with curly hair, super tight black jeans, and a blue sweater.

I smile at him and I think back to when we slept together and I bought a plan B. Luckily, shortly after I got my period too.

Also how I hurt Derek, the way he smashed the door, when he came back and confessed he liked me.

I shake away my thoughts and I look around for Derek. I ignored him for two weeks so he might eventually just get tired of me, which makes it easier for me.

At least this way we won't get hurt.

I walk inside with Dominic, Louis, and Nicole, and they walk somewhere else while Shanice comes to me with two drinks in her hands.

"This one is for you, I know you like tequila."

"Thanks?" I reply confused and she frowns.

"Listen, I don't want to act fake or be your friend. I'm just grateful you didn't tell anyone." She takes a sip from her drink. "You aren't that bad after all," she finishes.

"It's not my business so don't worry about that, you don't have to act nice for that reason," I say and she nods, giving me a sweet smile that feels so unusual of her. She is a beautiful girl, her curly hair is always so flawless and her smile is to kill for.

"Okay, then, I'll go." She pauses. "Oh, happy birthday," she exclaims and I thank her.

I take the drink she gave me and I quite enjoy it, after all, she is hosting my party.

I listen to the music for a bit, enjoying it and just observing other people dancing. He said it was going to be a small party but more and more people are coming in.

Especially people I don't know.

The entrance door opens again and when I see the wavy dirty blond hair I flinch, I almost drop my drink.

——

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