I wake up to seeing Derek and Nicole's faces. I instantly look around and I cannot recognize this room, but when I look at the window it looks quite similar to Shanice's house.

It looks light outside, is it already morning?

"H-hey..." Nicole says and her voice is shaking.

Memories from last night flood my mind right back, she yelled at me and called me that word which triggering flashbacks.

Derek hands me a glass of water and I take it, slowly sipping from it.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"In my bedroom," Derek replies.

So Derek lives with Shanice? I'm confused. Are they siblings or... like together, maybe an open relationship?

"We wanted to call an ambulance but the whole house was full of drunk underage people, including you," he explains as he puts a hand behind his neck, he seems quite remorseful.

Fuck... no. I didn't call my parents or tell them I'd stay all night.

"I called your parents, I said you slept over at my house," Nicole says almost reading my mind. I'm so glad.

"Has everyone left?" I ask them.

"Yes. Shanice is here but she is sleeping, she is pissed off drunk. Dominic had to leave too," Derek says.

"Did everyone see- me... in that state?"

I remember I kept screaming 'please, stop,' so embarrassing.

"Some people did, but most were drunk as fuck and probably won't remember it," Derek reassures me and he looks so worried about me. It makes me more confused.

My head still hurts, it's probably the withdrawal from coke or just hangover.

"I will let you rest and I'm going to come back so we can talk about what I did. I'm so sorry, Ronnie," Nicole apologizes and she pulls the blanket over my legs.

I just nod and she leaves. Is Derek staying here with me?

"Do you want anything to eat?" Derek offers me and looks at me like I'm fragile which throws me off guard for a second. I stare at him without replying and he seems nervous.

It's like they both know what happened to me that morning and this thought alone disturbs me a lot.

"I do," I say. I'm so hungry I didn't even get to snack on something because of Nicole.

He smiles and stands up. I stare at the wall for thirty minutes, at a certain point I hear a slight knock on the door.

"Yes?" I ask and he peeks his head through the opened door.

"Do you like mushrooms?"

"Yes...?" I answer confused. Surprised he would even offer to make food for me, especially food I'd enjoy.

I continue staring at the wall and after a few minutes, he comes with so much food. Oh gosh.

Omelet with mushrooms, pancakes with maple syrup, and a fruit salad, and it surprisingly looks delicious.

I don't think I can eat this much.

"That's a lot of food!" I exclaim. This man... he is doing legit too much for me and I treated him horribly. I feel guilty.

I feel a weird sensation... in my heart and stomach. I cannot quite understand what it is.

It's probably hunger.

"I didn't even ask you if you have any allergies or preferences. Sorry," he says upset.

"Don't worry, I can eat everything. Thank you, for real." We lock eyes and if I wasn't 'cuffed' to this bed I'd straight up kiss him.

I hate how it's all I think about when I'm with him, which makes me want to stay far away from him.

He lets me enjoy my food in bed, I rarely eat in bed, especially another person's bed but he is treating me like a princess. Kinda cheesy?

The food is amazing but I don't finish everything, it's a bit too much for me.

I just look around his room, I don't wanna be nosy. But everything about him makes me curious, I need to know more, although I could just ask him.

Especially since Dominic mentioned that thing about him. What did he mean?

I open his drawer and I see a wallet and a picture almost slipping out of it.

I open the wallet for a second to grab the image.

A picture of two people smiling, a couple. They look in their forties. I assume it's his parents.

I take a look at the back of the picture and it says 2015 on it.

I have so many questions, does he live with Shanice permanently? And why?

I could try asking him, he seems pretty open and honest about everything.

I hear a knock on the door and I put the picture back in the wallet and close the drawer as fast as I can.

Fuck. I shouldn't invade someone's privacy like this. I don't know what the fuck went through my head.

I go back to the bed and put the blanket over me.

He quickly enters before I get to say anything.

"Are you ok? You didn't answer," he says rapidly.

Why is he so damn worried about every little detail?

"Yeah- I am," I say, "can we talk for a bit?" My curiosity is killing me.

"Sure," he replies with uncertainty.

He sits down on the bed next to me. My mind immediately travels to what it would be like if he...

Veronica, stop.

Why does he make me feel this way? Why?

He looks at me waiting for me to talk but I can't stop thinking about him, the way he looks at me, the way he does everything for me.

Could it be that he feels the same way? Like he said when he was drunk?

He was intoxicated that's why he said it.

"I'm patiently waiting for you to talk," he mocks me and I laugh.

"Ok so... I don't know how to ask you," I mutter.

"I- Do you- fuck, sorry, l-live with- Shanice?" I stutter so much my question makes no sense, and I can't believe I was about to ask him if he fucks Shanice, now I'm so embarrassed my cheeks could catch on fire at any moment.

He laughs and I look down but he puts his hand on my hand to reassure me, I almost flinch, not because I'm afraid, but because of these stupid butterflies. His touch is so warm I forget about everything around me and I could stay here forever.

"I'm not sure what you are trying to ask, but I'm sensing some kind of jealousy." He laughs and I fail to hide my embarrassment.

I keep blushing so much these days. I just want to go home, ugh.

"No- I was just, you know, curious about why you live with her, is she your sister... or?" I ask him with a lot of hope behind my voice.

"We are dating," he answers and as soon as he sees the horror on my face, he bursts into a mischievous laugh.

"Fuck you. Leave my room. Now."

Wait, what did I just say?

He laughs again and he leans in, too damn close to my face.

"Babe, it's my bedroom," he whispers.

Not the fucking tingles again.

"I'm not dating her, I just wanted to prove you are jealous," he says triumphantly while I shoot daggers at him.

"You are despicable, Derek," I say his name and it feels so... different?

"Back to your incoherent question, I've lived with her since 2017, she helped me through hard times. We are just friends," he explains and I take a deep breath of relief.

"Oh, I assumed you were hooking up with her," I blurt out before realizing and he smirks.

"Would you mind?" he questions me.

Fuck I don't want to sound jealous so I decide to insult him to hide my jealousy, like always.

"No, I'd be surprised you have a sex life," I say and burst out laughing. He doesn't take it to heart and joins me, his addictive laugh filling the entire room.

"After your roast, I think I might need some time to recover. See you later, babe."

Is he gonna keep calling me that word to mess with me?

My phone buzzes.

Nicole: I'm coming at noon. Take care.

~

Nicole sits on the bed, next to me and looks at me, with a very sad look in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry for what I said. Derek told me everything," she apologizes waiting for my response. I think she is holding back, scared to receive an aggressive response like that time at the hospital.

"It's ok but please, don't tell Louis. I'm embarrassed about what I did and he thinks I willingly did it," I say.

"Louis knew?"

"Yes... he caught me. He told me he wouldn't tell so you wouldn't get hurt," I admit.

She looks disappointed and I'm almost sure she is going to pick a fight with him over this.

Everyone around me just wants to find out what happened to me. And I don't want to tell them, I don't know what else to do anymore. I'm considering running away.

"Please, listen to what I'm going to say because I'm not gonna say it gently the next time," I tell her and she almost flinches at the sudden change of tone in my voice.

It's harsh, but I am also not obligated to tell everyone about my business.

"I want you and Louis to continue living your lives. I want you to stop contacting me. Stop reaching out to me. Delete my number, block me. Do whatever you want, but stay away from me. Stop looking for answers cause you aren't going to get them," I warn her enunciating loudly every word so she can understand it for the last time. I'm so tired of begging people to leave me alone.

Is it so bad to want to be alone with your thoughts?

She looks immensely disappointed, she thought she finally figured me out, that it will all be okay. But I'll never be okay. I'll never be the old Veronica.

I can't even be half of the old Veronica. She was so bubbly, happy, ambitious, and smart. She looked up to her future, which I doubt I have anymore.

I can't even talk about old me in first person because it feels as if it wasn't me? Perhaps, it was someone else in my body. A better person.

All I do is hurt everyone around me. A tear rolls down my cheek and Nicole sees it, she knows I care about her.

I think this is the first time she realizes something gruesome happened to me, and this tells me she won't give up.

She has never been the type to give up.

——

Thank you so much for reading my book and please don't forget to vote and comment!

I love you.