It's been two weeks since I left the hospital. My parents kept a close eye on me, they constantly burst into my room and they didn't let me go to school.

I've been isolated in my bedroom since then. The doctor said I should think about homeschooling considering my frequent panic attacks and that I have the tendency to hurt myself or might hurt others. Bullshit.

My mom is looking into homeschooling me, for fuck's sake, no. I'd rather drop out.

It's Saturday evening and soon they are going out for dinner. If I decide to sneak out, they will probably catch me...

But after dinner night, they spend a lot of time in their room, sometimes tipsy. I could try, in the worst case, they will lock my windows and door forever.

I'm dying to drink alcohol again, it's all I need.

I have that fake ID Dominic gave me, and to think I almost said no.

I could go to a bar or a store and just buy it myself without contacting them.

I haven't seen all of them in three weeks, Dominic called me but I didn't pick up, he eventually gave up.

If I go to a bar, I can get free alcohol since I don't have much money on me, maybe even weed if I play my part correctly.

I roam out of the room to see if my parents left. I don't hear any noise. They already left.

I quickly go to take a shower, brush my teeth and dry my hair, and put some makeup on.

I apply a lot of black eyeliner, mascara, and concealer, maybe it will make me look older.

Luckily my parents talked to Kaylee and she gave me the purse back, I had the fake ID inside and they didn't check it, otherwise, I'd be dead right now.

~

I've never been to this bar before, well, I could never really enter. It's full of college people or older people.

I notice some familiar faces I saw at Shanice's party. It's not necessarily a good thing, but they don't know me or my age.

They probably know about the mess I caused at the last party. Especially when Derek fought with James.

I wonder what Derek has been up to... since that hug.

I don't care anyway, I came here to drink and have some fun.

I sit at the bar counter, which gives me flashbacks to when that piece of shit grabbed me by the waist... not again.

"Please, get me a strong vodka cocktail," I order, the bartender takes a second look at me, he is about to ask for my ID but I show it before he does which makes him even more suspicious.

"I just have a babyface," I add.

Fuck. I should have just let him talk.

He brushes it off and goes to make my drink.

I did not want to pay for it, but I've got some change left from my dad. I can't ask them for more money.

I finally get the cocktail. I chug it down so I can get drunk faster and finally enjoy myself without thinking about that piece of shit.

"Hello babe, fancy a drink?" A British blonde man who looks about twenty-five years old sits next to me.

"Mhm, sure," I mutter.

What is this? Ronnie, be more confident. The alcohol hasn't quite reached my bloodstream.

He orders a tequila for both of us and he keeps glaring at me with a smirk.

"What are you doing all alone here? Your boyfriend broke up with you?" He laughs and I cannot stand his laugh, so annoying.

The alcohol gets to me, finally. I haven't eaten as well, so I could get drunk faster.

"No, I was looking for company," I flirt, might as well get more alcohol for free, hopefully, weed too.

He has that perverted look on his face as he puts his hand on my back.

I don't flinch, when I'm drunk or high I never connect the touching to my trauma, it's all I'm good for anyways.

He looks quite polished and expensive. His face is not that cute, though.

"So what are you doing here?" I ask him back, giving him my sexiest glare. Hopefully, I don't look like a cringe teenager.

He awkwardly shifts in his chair, so I assume my gaze worked.

"I was looking for a pretty girl to hang out with." He emphasizes 'hang out' and looks me up and down.

I'd be disgusted by him if I was sober but I don't care. 

After a few other drinks, we are both drunk, so I decide to be forward. The alcohol gave me some courage. I don't care if he is a stranger, I want temporary fun and freedom.

"Want to go somewhere quiet?" I ask him and I could tell he was already eye-fucking me.

"We could just go to my hotel room," he suggests and winks.

After a ten minutes drive, we arrive at his hotel. I have never in this part of my city before. 

As soon as we enter he pins me up against the door and kisses me with ardor. I don't back away despite having zero experience.

I pull him closer to me and he takes it as an invitation to run his hands all over my body.

I fiercely take off his shirt and I stare at his torso for a few seconds. He is not bad at all.

"You are so sexy, I don't even know your name," he whispers into my ear.

"Shut up and kiss me again." I take the initiative and I can tell he quite enjoys it.

He doesn't have to know my name, I don't care about his nor I'll ever see him again.

He carries me to his room.

"You are so fit, babe."

I love his British accent and it makes up for his looks.

He throws me on his bed and takes off his jeans.

He puts a condom on and he gently puts the tip of his length inside of me. I roll my eyes back and moan, trying not to be loud.

He thrusts into me hard, several times until he comes.

But I don't come.

"Are you done?" He takes me by surprise, I expected to be thrown out of the room, well, at least he isn't a dickhead.

I don't know whether it was right for the act to be so short, or if I'm too drunk but it just didn't feel right and too hurried.

"No..." I mutter and realize I should have lied, it's what they always taught us.

He looks surprised and quite offended. Normally I'd be super embarrassed but right now I'm still pissed off drunk and so is he.

"Maybe we should do this better next time," he suggests.

No, we should not. But I'm not going to tell him that. I give him a fake number and I unsteadily walk to the bathroom to take a shower.

The cold water kinda clears out my mind. I just chill there realizing I had sex with a stranger, in a foreign place. It's extremely foolish.

But it also makes me feel... powerful? Having finally consented to sex, as drunk as I can be, he was too.

I consented to sex with a stranger. For once I don't feel dirty and used because it was my decision.

When I go out in just a towel, I have to put the old clothes back on. Disgusting.

"I'm going to call you a taxi," he says and I nod.

What a nice man, if he only knew he had sex with an underage girl.

I grab my purse and leave as fast as I can.

I am still wobbly and I need a joint so badly now. I don't regret what I did or maybe it's still the alcohol talking.

The cab arrives and without thinking I tell him Dominic's address.

It's two AM but I doubt he is sleeping.

He lives in a nice apartment, quite far from everyone else. Hopefully, he is home... I don't have money for another cab.

It doesn't take more than twenty minutes to get there.

I knock on the door for what feels like hours. Gosh. What if he is sleeping?

He opens the door, half awake and he looks so tired, but he seems more shocked when he sees me.

"Veronica?" He asks almost unsure and still sleepy. I woke him up.

"Don't ask. Sorry, I ruined your sleep," I say and enter before he even invites me.

"I hate you but I'll get over it," he says and I chuckle. "Do you want something?" he adds.

"A coffee," I mutter and he looks even more shocked.

"It's like midnight..." He says and I stare him down.

"It's 2 AM."

"Oh." He goes to make a coffee and I just sit there.

"You stink of alcohol, again. Did you get into trouble?" He turns to me.

"I was drinking at a bar, then I went to a stranger's hotel. But don't worry, he didn't kill me," I joke before I can even stop myself, maybe I should have left out these details.

Dominic seems awkward, he straight up understands what happened in that room and he seems a bit surprised.

He does the same with every human being that accepts to fuck him.

"Thanks for telling me you aren't a ghost," he jokes back and I feel a bit relieved he doesn't judge me. At least not openly.

"You haven't told me what happened at that party, by the way." He changes the subject and I frown.

"I haven't seen Derek fight someone in ages... since- no, never mind." He stops himself before he finishes the sentence.

What does he mean? Since when? What.

I'm intrigued now, I hate when people don't finish their sentence, ending it on a cliffhanger.

"What are you talking about?" I ask him and he rolls his eyes, probably regretting he almost told me.

"I can't tell you, or anyone. I don't know why I said it, I am so sleepy," he explains and I nod. I don't want to pressure him but I can't help the curiosity inside of me.

"Anyway... it was because of James, he convinced me to combine cocaine with alcohol and then tried to take advantage of me. Louis caught us before anything happened."

Dominic knows Louis pretty well, they hung out sometimes.

"That jerk. He has asthma-"

I interrupt him.

"Derek told me. So he didn't even snort coke or drink that night, I think." I've seen James drink before, but it wasn't at every party and sometimes he would disappear into the bathroom. Now looking back I think he was using his inhaler.

What a stupid dickhead. James tried so hard to hide his asthma problems but now everyone knows.

"Keep going!" he encourages me to tell him more and I laugh. I haven't genuinely smiled in a long time, wow.

"There is nothing else to say. Derek told me he would fight anyone who tries to take advantage of, I quote, 'little girls,'" I say and roll my eyes, disappointed.

"He would. But I can't help but think it was more than that," he admits as he scratches his head.

"What do you mean?"

Wait, why do I even care?

"Leave it. Thanks for the tea, sis," he mocks me and I laugh again, for some reason, I love it when he talks like that to me.

Although, I can't help but think about Derek. What's all that about?

——————

I cringed so hard writing this, I'm new with sex scenes. I'm sorry LMAO.
I tried to leave out spicy details, but I will get very detailed in the future.
I hope it didn't disturb you as I plan to write more and this book is meant to be mature.

Thanks for reading and please don't forget to vote and comment!