Veronica's POV

"Can you come to my cafeteria for a bit?" Kaylee asks over the phone.

Should I go? I haven't been to her Cafeteria in a long time and I feel embarrassed by the way I left.

I'll go after school, what do I have to lose?

I haven't seen Louis since the last party, he didn't come to school the whole week. I didn't bother to contact him because I just assumed he didn't want to talk to me.

Nicole looks quite happy, I don't know why, but this makes me happy too. I'd hate myself if she found out what I almost did. Louis surely hasn't told her.

That party was wild from the start. I've been hiding from James since I find out he tried to take advantage of me. And he doesn't seem to push it since Derek hit him.

Oh, Derek... I admit I think of him sometimes, I'm so appreciative of what he did for me when no one else bothered.

I slept better the last few days, it's not that I don't think about that morning, I do, but I try to ignore it and keep my mind busy.

I've been meaning to smoke weed or do coke again, it's a bittersweet feeling, but I try not to do it. Perhaps I don't have anyone who wants to give it for free.

I only hang out with Dominic, he even got me a fake ID to buy drinks, which I doubt I'm going to use anyway.

I miss Louis so much and it hurts to think he finds me disgusting, but he and Nicole stopped reaching out to me, and it's also a good thing.

~

I took a cab to Kaylee's Cafeteria. I think often about how I used to come here with my friends. I miss it so fucking much.

I enter and realize how much I craved the smell of coffee, music, ambiance, most of the customers.

"Hi, Veronica!" Kaylee greets me with a big smile glued to her face. She seems genuinely happy to see me.

"Hello," I mutter and I look down at my feet. It's still so embarrassing.

Her hair isn't as long as it was before, but still impressive.

"I was so sad when I heard you were having personal problems, but I would hire you back if you weren't so busy with school!" she says enthusiastically and I just nod knowing that I'd never come back to work here.

"In the meantime, we hired a new girl, but she left," Kaylee says disappointed.

Could it be that girl who asked me why I left this job? Weird.

"Wait, let me go grab something for you!" she announces as walks to the backroom.

I'm waiting at the bar counter and someone comes near me.

Why don't people give personal space around here? There is plenty of space.

I move slightly to the left, leaving more space for that person.

I feel a hand grabbing me by my waist.

"What-" I step back and I see... I see that man, the one who grabbed my thigh months ago.

"Did you miss me?" He asks creepily, but at the same time it doesn't even sound like a question, it's more of an affirmation for him.

Wait... his voice... oh my God. My eyes fill with tears, fright takes over my body.

I step back, almost tripping over the bin.

"Stay away from me!" I scream and the two customers having coffee turn around to check on us, not understanding what is happening, but they still don't help or ask anything.

I run out of the store without looking back and without any sense of direction. I don't hear anyone running behind me.

I forgot my purse there.

Tears freeze in my eyes. It's excruciatingly cold outside and I'm only wearing a sweater.

I am so exhausted. I only stop running when I get to the park.

He isn't here. I don't see him. Fuck, what do I do?

I hide behind the tree, my chest rising with each deep breath I take. Frozen tears prickle the dry skin on my cheeks.

It can't be...

The realization finally hits me.

It's him. He raped me that morning. He took away everything from me.

I just couldn't understand or remember who was it back then.

He was stalking me. He was preying on me. I'm so disgusted by myself. By my body. Everything.

It could have not happened if I hadn't taken that stupid job. For a stupid car.

I slowly fall to the ground, gripping the grass around me while breaking down completely.

Flashbacks come without any way of stopping them.

He lifts my skirt, then starts looking for something in his pockets while my eyes are way too dry to even shed a tear. I mumble and he keeps telling me to be quiet or he will kill me.

He grabs a condom and puts it on.

"So you don't even think of reporting me, slut," he spits.

"But you have no idea how much I wish I could fuck your petite body raw." I look away in disgust, his words hurt just as much as his actions.

"Maybe I'll come back for more, young girl." He comes closer to my face and shoves his tongue in my mouth, I don't respond to his kiss and I try to pull away from his face. It makes me involuntary gag and he raises his hand and slaps me harshly.

He starts abusing me with so much vulgarity it feels like he had broken me, and not only mentally.

I'm unable to respond or process what just happened, to me. I want to scream, I want someone to save me. But no one hears me, no one is here.

No one saved me...

The moment I struggle to open my eyes due to the bright light, the strong odor of disinfectant floods my nostrils.

My head is throbbing and I feel a warm liquid coming from the top of my head. I put two fingers there and I can feel the bandage, it hurts to touch it.

A drip is attached to my arm.

What the fuck happened?

The large door opens and a nurse comes in.

"Hello sweetheart, how are you feeling?" she asks with compassion and looks at my perfusion.

"What happened?" I ask confused.

"Someone found you in the park, you fainted and hit your head."

Now I remember. I was running away from that... I cannot say it without my lips trembling.

I got flashbacks and lost my senses.

I remembered everything. Every single thing. No... no.

It almost feels like a nightmare, but it happened to me. Why does it keep happening to me?

I shift uncontrollably in the hospital bed, and I close my eyes as I lose myself in the flashbacks.

"No... stop please," I scream, "stop please!" My sobs audibly increasing.

The nurse tries to calm me down, she doesn't understand what's going on, she leaves the room and yells something in the hallways.

I try to get up but I have that stupid drip attached to my arm.

I rip it away.

I crawl to the bathroom, shaking uncontrollably, I hear the door crack and someone comes in.

A man comes to grab me and the nurse helps him.

I try to push them away but I am too dazed.

"Please, lay down." I look at the man and I see his name on the ID card. Doctor Holland.

The nurse attaches the perfusion to my arm again and I flinch.

The door rapidly bursts open again.

"Veronica, my darling," my mom yells exasperated. My dad is behind her and looks at me with worry in his eyes.

"You can't stay here, not now. She is very confused and warring," the nurse explains.

"What?! We are her parents. We have every right to be here," my dad raises his voice and my head keeps throbbing.

Just shut the fuck up already.

"You can stay for five minutes but it's not advised," the doctor says and he looks at the nurse. They finally leave.

"My poor baby, what happened?!" my mom asks and her high-pitched voice makes me cringe.

"Are you okay now?" my dad adds. They look at my head and then my mom grabs my hand like I'm still an innocent, worthy child.

It makes me wince because I know it's not true.

"Don't touch me!" I scream. They flinch while I stare at them terrified.

I cannot be touched. I cannot. It wrenches me physically, mentally, even spiritually. My skin burns in flames whenever someone touches me, and I fill with disgust. I am disgusted by my flesh.

The doctor bursts back in and he notices how terrified my parents look.

"I told you she needs some time off, let's talk about it outside and let her rest,"  the doctor says and he seems quite mad, dealing with people who never listen, it's tiring.

I try to rest but tears come rolling down my cheeks again, putting everything together. It was always him since then... I didn't know he was preying on me.

He was waiting for the right opportunity and I gave it to him.

Fucking Kaylee's Cafeteria.

~

I wake up with Louis and Nicole by my side. I have no idea how much I slept, my cheeks are burning, my throat is dry and the headache didn't go away. With all that crying I'm dehydrated.

"Veronica..." Nicole says my name, "I was so worried about you! We all were." She caresses my face.

Can people fucking stop touching me... I cannot do it anymore.

"Don't touch me," I say emphasizing every word. She looks at Louis and they give me a weird look. They look tired of me. Thank God. Just leave.

"I try my best to understand you, to understand what happened and you keep pushing us away. What happened to you Veronica, please talk to us!" she says exhausted.

I should be the exhausted one in this situation, being forced to explain my business to people.

"And I'm so fucking tired of you two being in my fucking business. Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone. I don't need your stupid help. I don't need any of you." I yell at them until I become breathless and their mouths fall to the floor.

They didn't expect this.

They both stand up and don't say a word, Nicole leaves first startled, and Louis takes a last look at me. I cannot decipher what it means. I just look away.

I think it's officially done, they won't talk to me anymore. And I'm glad.

I'm going to tell the doctor to not let anyone in here or I will hurt myself. Not even my parents.

——

I'm editing this chapter and I feel a bit uncomfortable reading the rapist's words :( I know it's needed so that people can understand her better but idk, it's been a year since I wrote it and it's like reading it for the first time.