I close my car's door and open the trunk and my mom gets out of the car.

I look at the big campus ahead of me and the university — which I never expected to be accepted — It's not one of the best, but it's enough for me.

Other teenagers are crying, cheering, and hugging their parents as they walk to the dormitory center.

I ignore the hollow feeling in my stomach and I stare at them. They seem so happy.

My dad should have been here with me, with us.

This is an important day and he will never be here with me, ever again.

My mom puts an arm around my shoulders and I wipe away the single tear rolling on my cheek.

"It's ok, sweetheart." She gives my arms a little squeeze and I swallow the knot in my throat.

I can cry tonight, just not here.

My mom goes to the boot of my car and grabs two boxes.

I help her grab the remaining ones and I look around to see if Nicole is already here.

Not yet.

Freshman students have to come on Saturday to set up their dormitories and adjust to the new program and university life. I will have to check where the classes are to save time.

"I can't believe I'm letting you go," my mom speaks as we walk to the campus.

I just nod and I continue carrying the now heavier cardboard boxes filled with stuff I will probably never need.

We already know where my room is so we walk through the crowd in the hallway to get there.

It's filled with many people I have never seen before even though I know Dominic and Shanice used to invite most of the students from this college to the parties.

I wonder if Alexander is here already, I miss him.

I reach my door and I grab the key they gave me.

"Are you Veronica Reeves?" a middle-aged woman behind me asks.

I put down the boxes.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience, there's been a mistake. Your room is on the third floor." She hands me another key and asks me to give my other key back.

I look at her confused and I worry I won't be in the same room as Nicole.

My mom is staring at us and she seems to not be able to hold the heavy boxes any longer.

"We will have this handled." She points to the key and I nod, when she is about to leave I stop her.

"Wait, am I not in the same room as Nicole Gilbert?" I ask.

"Hmm, I don't know. Sorry, I have to go now. You can ask at the student help center right outside the dormitory."

I look at the key and I grab the boxes then we keep walking to the elevator, my arms are starting to hurt.

We get to the third floor and walk to my new room, I take a breath of relief as I notice Nicole is here.

She already put all her stuff in the dorm and she smiles with her impeccable straight teeth when she notices me.

My mom puts the boxes near the desk and I look around the room.

It's so big compared to what I expected, the desks are beige and there are three of them-

"Hello," Nicole hugs my mom and I put down the boxes near my bed, then she pulls me into a tight embrace as I look confused.

Why is there only one single bed and a bunk bed? And why are there three desks?

I pull away from Nicole's hug. "Isn't it supposed to be only for two people?" I ask perplexed.

She shrugs and I notice a red backpack on the bunk bed which I assume it's hers.

So there isn't a third person living with us? I'm not ready for this, living with Nicole will be hard enough.

"Why did you go with the bunk bed? Don't you want more personal space?"

"Hmph? No, they gave us this room because there weren't any left." She clears out her throat, "so, more space for me." She smiles and I exchange it, still a bit wary.

I walk to my mom and I wrap my arms around her tightly, inhaling her sweet perfume that she has never changed once since I was born.

I am going to miss her, I'm so used to seeing her everyday, living with her. She took care of me when no one else did.

When she said that phrase two years ago it hurt, I thought about it often. Yeah, it was harsh but it's the truth. My biological parents abandoned me, they refused to take care of me. Although I know nothing about them, I don't think I could ever look for them or forgive them.

They aren't my real parents, and these supposed strangers chose me, that's the most beautiful thing ever.

Not being blood-related, but being chosen. It's a choice. I now realize how grateful I should be, I can only hope my dad will forgive me for not realizing it sooner. I took so many people for granted.

My mom kisses me on both cheeks and sheds a few tears which breaks my heart. It's hard to see your mother cry.

"I will come whenever I can," I reassure her and she smiles between the tears.

"Take care, I love you."

"I love you too, mom."

She leaves and I wave at her until she disappears in the crowd.

I turn towards Nicole and she seems lost, she quickly looks away.

"What's wrong?" I ask worriedly.

"I wish my mom was like that with me."

I hug her and I smile, "her loss, you are amazing."

Sometimes it's hard to realize others might want what you have... it never occurred to me before today how lucky I am to have my mom.

"Let's visit the cafeteria, I need a cappuccino." Nicole goes back to her usual self as if she wasn't almost crying two minutes ago.

I'm amazed by her way of dealing with things.

"Shouldn't we check where are the classes?"

She shakes her head.

We walk through the campus and it's still early but there are even more people than before.

I realize I haven't got the stuff out of my boxes, but I'll decorate later.

We notice the Cafeteria sign and we get inside, I suddenly see a few computers and how much space there is. There is also a TV hanging on the wall in the middle of the room.

We go to the breakfast counter and order two cappuccinos and brioches filled with chocolate.

"Aren't you getting something to eat?" I ask Nicole and she shakes her head.

"I ate at home."

"Oh okay..." I accidentally look down at her and I notice her baggy clothes, she used to dress in a completely different way. Now it feels like she is hiding her body. Her makeup and hair are still impeccable but she doesn't seem as comfortable with her body.

We sit in the corner and I sip from my cappuccino and eat the brioches right after. I'm starving, and I'm trying to make up for the times I was barely eating, cocaine has that effect.

I still flinch whenever I think of cocaine, it seems like it wasn't me... it's hard to believe I almost died if it wasn't for-

Someone sits next to me and I look at them, surprised to see Alexander, I put down the brioche and I clean my hand with the tissue.

He pulls me in for a hug and I realize how glad I am to see him, this summer was a little bit harder without Alex.

His hug always feels almost too long, too intimate. Nicole clears out her throat and we pull away.

They know each other because of James and me, but they barely talk.

"Where is your dorm?" I ask him.

"First floor."

Our dorm is on the third floor, I guess it's a bit far but it won't matter.

"Guess who is already throwing a party."

I raise my eyebrows, I haven't been to a party in years, it seems like.

"If you are thinking about inviting me, I'm not coming," I say and glance towards Nicole who seems kind of bored but she is staring at the brioches right in front of her.

"But I'm sure Nicole would go," I add.

"What? Yeah." She seems lost in her thoughts.

"Nicole can come too, but Ronny, you have to. It's next Friday, it's going to be the biggest party ever," Alexander speaks with enthusiasm. Everyone will be there, it's always like this when there aren't assignments and the classes are barely getting started.

"I don't trust myself around alcohol," I admit.

"Don't worry, there will be plenty of orange juice," he teases me and I playfully smack his arm.

"Idiot," I laugh and Nicole seems a bit amused by the situation.

"We are supposed to have fun this year, come on, I won't let you drink too much."

I glance at Nicole and I almost shoot daggers at her for putting me in this situation.

"See? She gets it," Alexander adds.

I notice a girl entering the cafeteria and I immediately recognize the curly hair.

Shanice.

I stare at her until she goes to the breakfast & lunch counter and I debate whether I should speak to her now or later.

I stand up and Nicole and Alexander seem confused, but then they notice her too.

Shanice is wearing very short shorts, a nirvana crop top, and a leather jacket. Her long legs seem to perfectly fit literally any piece of clothing.

This girl can wear a sack of potatoes and still look hot-

I snap out of my thoughts and I walk towards her, she hasn't noticed me yet.

"Shanice?" I call her name to grab her attention.

She grabs the coffee the waiter gave her and thanks her without looking at her.

Shanice turns to me and I notice she is wearing black platform boots because she is several inches taller than me.

"Already bothering me on a Saturday morning?" she asks in a deprecatory way.

I know she insulted me many months ago, but I hoped she would understand by now.

"Please, we need to talk." I keep my patience despite her sharp tone, and the look on her face is enough to discourage me from this talk.

I don't fear her, but I know I'd be stupid to act the same way she does, she is mad because I ruined her best friend's life.

"Do you want to talk? Let's talk here," she raises her voice and points to the other hundreds of people watching us.

"Alright... I need to know the truth about-"

She laughs mockingly. "The truth? What is exactly the truth for you?" She understands I'm talking about Derek.

I turn to look at Nicole and Alexander and they are staring at us just like everyone else.

"Let me tell you what is the truth." She looks around and I already see some people cheering us to fight.

I recognize some of them and I know they were at her parties, so most of them must know Derek.

"You fucked up Derek's life. If it wasn't for your pathetic ass, he would be out now." She gets closer to my face and I don't move an inch.

"I'm going to make you pay for it, mark my words. Maybe this time it will get through your thick skull."

Some people burst out laughing and I look at them. Shanice's friends.

Others just seem confused because they don't know us, or mostly me.

"It wasn't my cocaine, I swear," I say quietly but I realize everyone heard me. Even the cafeteria cashier looks at me.

She scowls, "bullshit, and the funny thing is that he doesn't believe your shit anymore too, he doesn't want to see you, poor little Ronny. He is disgusted by you, how do you feel about that?"

I gulp down hard and I try to ignore the bitter edge to her words, it's hard to believe her but I know she sees him... maybe it's the truth. Derek loathes me, but I can't blame him.

Fuck, I was so stupid to think he wouldn't completely despise me after stealing five years off his life.

I ignore the tears, I'm not going to cry in front of her or everyone. "He admitted it was his, without trusting me, I am going to the police now and tell them it's mine even though it isn't."

"You stupid bitch, stay out of it. What's done, is already done. If you go now, Derek could get even more years. And supposedly now it's his fault for caring about you? Not wanting to ruin your future? I think he should have done exactly that, but you fooled him. You never loved him, did you?"

Everyone is staring at us dead silent, no one is eating their food or drinking anymore.

I take in her words and I didn't even mean to say it's Derek's fault, but that he didn't trust me even if it was my bag... fuck, I used to never trust him too.

We are both at fault, but Derek is paying for it.

"I know it's my fault, I can fix it, Shanice."

She laughs.

"You can fix it? Listen, guys, Veronica Reeves can fix this shit, how cute," she mocks me in front of everyone.

I know she is right about me ruining his life, but I'm not going to stay here while she humiliates me.

"You fucking bitch," I burst out and I almost want to grab her hair but she throws her cup of coffee on me, drenching my clothes in a strong black coffee odor.

Everyone gasps and Nicole and Alexander stand up to come to me.

I look down at my jeans and white top dirty with coffee and she smiles.

"This is just the start."

I look around at everyone staring at me, some seem amused and others feel pity for me.

I run to the bathroom to clean my clothes and I hear some people laughing behind me.

I open the women's bathroom door and I rush to the sink, gathering some water to clean the dirt stains. I'm not walking back to my dorm smelling of coffee.

I look up at my reflection in the mirror and I hate what I see.

I don't care about Shanice, I don't care what she plans to do to me, what scares me is that-

"Are you okay?" Nicole rushes to me and I nod while cleaning the clothes.

Alexander follows after she and Nicole stops him, "female bathroom."

"I don't care." He comes to me and lifts my chin with his finger to force me to look at him.

I get a sudden flashback from when Derek used to do that with me but I quickly brush it off.

"I'm going to talk to her, she will understand me," he reassures me and I pull away from him, I shake my head.

"No. I will just ignore her."

"What she said isn't right. Derek is a grown-ass adult he can choose for himself, he chose to lie, he used to sell drugs. He is paying his time."

"We all did mistakes, but he stopped selling them years ago, they caught him because of that stupid cocaine, because of James and Olivia." I defend Derek.

Nicole flinches and I look at her eyes, she looks away.

"And Alexander, you have no right to talk about it. You sold drugs, you bought drugs, you gave me drugs. We are all just as guilty," I snap at him and he steps back.

"How do you know it wasn't actually his and he was just planning to use you? He was driving for Felix back then, he wasn't out of the business," Alexander explains and my eyes widen, refusing to believe that.

"You hate him. You are just saying that because you hate him." I refuse to even think Derek fooled me, for the first time I fully trust him.

"Let me assume my responsibility, it was my backpack so therefore my cocaine."

They both shake their heads, "What don't you understand, Ronny? The police doesn't work like that, you go there and you will go to prison, they won't let him out either, but he would have saved you for nothing," this time Nicole explains and I listen carefully.

"Do you realize you won't even be able to go to college? Work? Your life will be fucked," Alexander cuts in.

"Derek's life will be like that in five years, he won't be able to live in most places, find a job and most colleges will refuse him, his life will be over by then!" I yell at them and they shake their heads in disbelief.

"It was his choice-"

I cut Alex off.

"But he didn't give me a choice, because he always chose me over himself, he loved me, he was always there for me but I pushed him away each time. This is my time to make it right."

I leave the bathroom and Nicole comes after me, while Alex leaves me to cool off.

"I understand how you feel, but it won't make it right for Derek. He would want you to continue your life," she explains.

Unless he fucking loathes me.

We walk to our dormitory and I reach to unlock the door but it's already unlocked, I glance at Nicole.

"Weird," we mutter at the same time.

I press on the handle and open the door wide, I immediately notice the wavy blonde hair and very overdressed girl sitting on my bed, with a smirk on her face.

————

Do you think it's Veronica's fault?