Before rational thoughts stop us, Derek pushes me back against the tall window with his body.

Derek presses into me hard, the cold window touching my exposed back but his hands find their way to my lower back, immediately warming me up.

His eyes are red and his pupils are huge, I know we are too intoxicated for this but I want him so badly.

"By the way," he pauses as he pulls me closer to him, I can feel his erection against my body when he whispers near my mouth, "I hate you just as much."

His words are cold and I cannot care less. Derek immediately kisses me hard and rough, giving me no time to respond back, to tell him I never want to see him again.

Our teeth scrape from the rough kiss and he pushes his tongue into my mouth as his hands roam on my naked back.

I kiss him back just as hard, I take his inferior lip between my teeth and I bite until I feel the metallic but sweet taste.

My hands travel to his belt again and I don't think twice as I take it off. He grabs my face with his free hand as he keeps me glued to the window with the other.

Derek licks the blood from his lips and then he kisses me again. I can feel his erection beneath my fingers and I bravely run my fingers over his crotch, growing more and more.

He takes off my dress straps, exposing my cleavage and he breaks the kiss to dive his head into my cleavage, leaving rough hickeys. The stubble scratches my skin and I exhale loudly when he lowers my dress, exposing my black bra.

He looks at me for a second, I notice his face is flushed just as I assume mine is. His lips are crimson.

He unclips my bra and I only realize it when I feel the cold air on my nipples, making them harder.

Derek takes my nipples into his mouth and starts sucking on them, and they harden into his mouth. I feel a bit of teeth graze over them and I force myself to not moan his name.

I haven't been touched like this in over a year and the waiting makes it worth it and so much more ecstatic.

"F-fuck you," I pant as I roll my eyes back because his tongue on my sensitive nipples could be enough to make me orgasm. "Derek."

This only makes him more eager to take me harder. His tongue circles on my nipples and I reach to grab his hair, but he quickly stops me and pins my hands above my head, harsh.

He stops from sucking on my nipples as he looks at me struggling under his iron grip.

"You haven't been a good girl," he whispers.

I arch my body against his as he leans in to leave a trail of kisses near my ear, making me shudder.

"Y- you did those things to Antonia too?" I raise my tone annoyed. This is why I hate him, and many other reasons.

My breasts are still exposed and it's getting cold without his mouth on them.

"I'll let you fuck me..." I whisper as he stops from kissing my skin, eagerly waiting for me to finish my phrase. "But I'll take revenge."

I smile as his eyes darken and his eyebrows furrow. He doesn't want me fucking someone else, but it would be fair that way.

Suddenly his arms wrap around me and he grabs me. I squeal as he throws me on the bed. The warmth of the room immediately wrapping me.

Derek immediately gets on top of him, his belt unbuckled and his erection fully grown against my exposed thigh.

He removes my dress and he throws it on the floor, leaving me in my laced black underwear only.

"If I had to take revenge for all the times you fucked someone that wasn't me, I wouldn't be here," he says in a bitter tone as he takes off his top.

We both weren't dating when we slept with other people. But I know it still hurts. Just like him sleeping with Antonia affects me.

I can't even defend myself because the next thing I know is my hands touching his abdominals, and I pull him closer to me, his weight almost falling on me.

He rips off my panties in two seconds, and he throws them away. I sit up as I unzip his pants and massage his crotch.

What were we talking about?

Right. I hate him.

Derek starts panting as I continue touching his dick through the pants.

"Fuck," he moans when he looks at my naked body while I caress it. I look into his vivid eyes filled with desire.

Seeing him struggle makes my pussy ache and so fucking wet. I want him inside me, right now.

I help him remove his pants and now he is only in his boxers. He is sitting up and he grabs me, he puts me on top of him and I slowly grind against his dick through the boxers.

My clit slides up and down on his crotch and we can both feel how wet I am for him.

"Show me how much you hate me," he pants as I grind against his body faster.

It feels good, even if there is no direct penetration so I moan out his name.

"Derek..." I get off him and I take off his boxers, revealing the hard boner I caused him.

I grab the condoms from the bedside table—I knew Dominic would put them in every room—and I open the package.

I help him put the condom on. Derek pushes me into the bed and I whimper as he spreads open my legs. He gets between my legs and kisses me on the mouth. I feel butterflies in my stomach and a few heartbeats down there.

I missed this so much, and I wish hating him was easier.

He doesn't wait as he pushes the tip inside of me, then quickly pushes it all in, filling me.

He kisses me and bites my lower lip until I can feel the blood in our mouths, he doesn't stop as he continues to push me down and I don't move.

I roll my eyes back when he thrusts into me harder and I keep moaning. I want to scream but I don't want to be heard.

I can feel the veins of his dick pumping into me, and my body convulsing under his muscular body. We kiss sloppily as he comes in and out of me.

We pant harder and harder with each movement and at some point, I even scream but the music is hiding my voice.

Derek suddenly stops and comes out of me. He flips me over before I react, and he wraps his arms around my waist. I can feel his erection on my ass and my back is tightly pressed against his torso. His hands travel to my breasts and he grabs them as he bends me over.

He slides into me again as he holds me down and I scream out his name again and again. I arch my back so he has better access and I clench my insides.

Not much passes until my legs start shaking and I become more sensitive. My skin feels burning and the temperature is too high in this room.

It's so relaxing I want to sleep.

"I a- am so... near," I stutter as he fucks me from behind.

He lifts me up, with his dick still inside and I press my back against his.

Derek kisses my shoulder as he fucks me slower now. His strong arms are still wrapped around my waist and he holds me when I come all over his dick.

I pant hard. "Derek..." he slides out of me as my body becomes sensitive and I can feel the warmth emanating from my vagina.

He touches himself and finishes off as he watches me come undone.

Suddenly I hear people clapping and cheering loudly.

What the fuck.

What the actual fuck?

Did we just fuck into 2022? And I missed the countdown too.

He crashes near me and I sit up, my eyes huge as the realization of my actions hit me... we had sex.

The fucking weed and half of the vodka bottle.

"What did we do..." I mutter as I look at Derek. He is lost in his thoughts and he looks at me for a second. His eyes are red and his pupils are still fucking huge.

He seems even more out than I am.

Derek seems confused by my words, way out of it. He always took a while to process his orgasms while I was relaxed after it, and it slowly goes away. I can go for more rounds.

I lay on the bed, I see his chest rise and fall and I relax for a bit. I just have to wait for him to be out of whatever trance he is in.

"Are you okay?" I whisper and he doesn't reply.

Well, I get mad. It's his fault. He followed me. I feel so nauseous, I drank way too much and I didn't eat.

"Fuck you," I mutter under my breath.

I sit up and I look for my clothes. I need to fucking clean myself, I can't leave like this... the bathroom is on the other hallway.

He grabs my hand as I am about to get up.

"You started it," he exclaims and I roll my eyes.

"Me?! It's your fault."

He exhales deeply as he massages his temples. "I didn't think I'd end up sleeping with you!" he yells and I yank my hand out of his grip. We are both wobbly.

"Well, fuck you! It's not my fault. You came here!"

And he fucking ripped my panties.

I grab some tissues from the bedside table and I clean myself as much as I can. That's until I get to the bathroom, and hopefully, I look normal.

I put on the dress and I take the ripped panties, I need to throw them away.

Fuck. Why did I sleep with him... what is wrong with me?!

"This was such a huge mistake," I murmur as I put on my shoes and search for my phone.

I look at him for a second and he seems disappointed, his eyes are still red and his mouth is slightly agape.

"Don't worry, I'll ignore you before you do," I spit as I smash the door behind me and run to the hallway.

I just know he will go back to ignoring me or giving me bullshit excuses on why we can't do this. And I cannot take it anymore, it would hurt so much less to pretend this never happened.

I shouldn't have slept with him. I'm such an idiot.

I run to the bathroom and I hurriedly close it and lean against it.

Why are my eyes watering...

I fall on the floor and I start tearing up, not understanding why I feel this overwhelmed. Is it just because I haven't had sex in a year and a half? Orgasms are an intense experience. It's normal to feel overwhelmed.

What is happening to me... why am I sad. Incredibly fucking sad. As if I did something wrong. I don't regret kissing him, sleeping with him because I missed him so much. I regret that I had to leave.

I should be more careful but I drank so much... and I took so many hits from that joint. I don't even know how we got in bed.

I wipe away my tears continuously, I feel the heat in my cheeks as I keep trying to not cry. My lower lip is shaking.

I stand up and I go to the sink to splash my face with cold water.

I can't remember most of the stuff Derek and I talked about tonight...

He seemed more intoxicated than me, what if he doesn't remember anything tomorrow?!

I don't want him to forget, or do I?

I clean my tears with the cold water and I dry off my face.

I need to get it together.

I pee and then wash myself as thoroughly as I can.

I look at my reflection in the mirror, I notice the tiny bit of blood on his bite on my inferior lip. Then I lower my strap and I warmly touch his hickeys all over my shoulders... and cleavage

I try to look less... fucked as I brush my hair with my fingers.

I walk out of the bathroom and I walk to the living room. I look at my phone and I see it's 12:15 am already.

Dominic runs to me the moment he sees me. "You've been gone for- like hours, dude," he yells, even more drunk than before. If that's even possible.

"Why is your hair so messy?" he asks as he touches my hair.

"God, no," I murmur as I shove Dom's hand away.

"Happy new year! You missed the countdown, I am very very very sad!" he slurs as he sings.

I would be amused by this if I wasn't so nervous. Everything feels wrong.

I see Irène and Shanice dancing together pretty sensually. Irène's hand is almost on Shanice's ass and it's like they are grinding more than dancing.

At least Shanice is making the same bad decisions as me.

Where is Nicole?

"You had sex. You reek of sex." Dominic laughs as my face gets flushed.

Do I reek of sex?!

Dominic gets a sniff of my shoulder quickly. "You smell like Derek."

My eyes widen as he tells me that and I walk away before he questions anything else.

How the heck can he even smell that while drunk?

My heart is tight, and my throat is dry. I know I've done something wrong but it's hard to admit it.

I shouldn't have left Derek.