A week later

Dominic outdid himself.

"Oh my God," I say as I enter the huge villa, with probably more rooms than our houses combined.

We are pretty early, the party starts at 10 pm but we had to bring more alcohol and snacks.

The living room could look like a nightclub, Dominic bought led party lights and he did a test with us beforehand. It looks sick.

Nicole and I walk to the kitchen to stock the cupboards with snacks and the dozens of bottles of gin, vodka, liquor, and beer.

In approximately two hours, the year will be 2022.

And soon we will go back to studying for college, but I don't want to focus on that for now.

I came here to have fun.

Irène will arrive shortly. Since it's Shanice's new house—which I see for the first time—she is already here and cleaning up the rooms.

"Do you like it?" Dom asks as I take another look at the poorly lit living room, he removed the chairs and the table for people who want to dance.

There are two couches and a big TV, plus if anyone needs chairs or any place to sit down there is the dining room and the kitchen.

"I love it!" I exclaim.

He smirks. "I also brought a little bit of weed, but it's not for you," he confesses and I raise my eyebrows. I haven't had weed in so long, it's been ages. I was more in love with cocaine.

Dominic opens his backpack and takes out several well-rolled joints and puts them on the kitchen counter.

"A bit? This is literally too much," Nicole says and I nod. It's a lot, probably too much. We could get in trouble.

Let's hope no one calls the police, luckily the yard is immense and secluded. Even if people fight, no one will hear it.

There is a swimming pool but it's covered and we won't use it since it's almost January.

They must be coming anytime now, it's 10 pm and Dom's friends and friends of friends are eager to drink so much they are already out by midnight.

He takes out the big Bluetooth speaker and I widen my eyes. It's bigger than the old one. I guess no one will talk much tonight.

"Please, just put on good music," I say, remembering the atrocities they usually play at frat parties.

"The best remixes," he says as he connects the Bluetooth speaker to his laptop, people will be partying until 6 am.

Shanice walks into the living room already dressed up, her curly hair braided on top and tied into a high bun and heavy makeup, paired with a long velvet red dress with sleeves. Her big heels click on the floor and she is slightly taller than Dominic.

"You went all out, huh," Dom says in admiration as he takes her hand and she does a spin.

She looks so elegant, and long dresses look best on her tall figure.

"Always." Shanice smiles.

I look down at my dress, forgetting what I even put on for tonight for a second.

I run my fingers on the material of my dress. Silky, black, deep cleavage, and backless. Two thin straps on my shoulder barely keep the dress on, paired with black kitten heels—they aren't as uncomfortable. But I'll probably end up taking them off soon.

I look at Nicole's wavy and blonde ombré hair that goes perfectly with her natural—unusual—makeup. Her lips match her light honey eyes and her warm but slightly tan skin tone. Her dress is emerald green and longer than mine. She looks mesmerizing.

"We are going to be the hottest hosts," Dominic says as he unbuttons three buttons of his navy blue shirt.

His hair is slightly curly on top of his head and now it's a bit more grown out so a few curls touch his eyebrows.

"Three undone buttons is needy," I say jokingly.

Everyone will be naked, I just know it.

"I am needy," he says and we burst out in a laugh.

Why did I expect a serious answer?

I chuckle. I'm glad I'm here with them.

Only one person is missing... and I have no idea if he is coming.

Should I ask?

I'll be subtle.

"Are we waiting for someone?" I ask and Dominic turns to me, a bit confused.

"Yeah? Irène?"

"Someone else?"

"Are you drunk?" He laughs.

"Yes. No. Is Antonia coming?" I blurt out the first thing that crosses my mind because I can't bring myself to ask about Derek.

Nicole turns to me and gives me a reassuring smile. "After what she did to you, no. I don't want fake people around us."

I smile at her warmly. She is such a good friend. Our friendship has never been better. Sometimes I feel like I'm neglecting her.

Suddenly the door opens and Irène walks in with two bags filled to the brim.

Irène is wearing a black tuxedo with a deep cleavage and we all look surprised, but she looks amazing in it. It looks even better than her usual dresses.

It seems like she put in extensions because her blonde hair is now longer and sleek. Her lipstick is deep red. The first thing we notice when she walks to us is her green eyes which look amazing on her fair skin.

Shanice looks at her and her mouth's slightly agape.

I think Irène outdid us, but Shanice seems to be on par with her. When Irène hands one of the bags, I notice they look amazing together. It's like they unknowingly matched.

"You look hot," Dominic says to Irène and she rolls her eyes.

She has a weird way of taking compliments.

"Everyone is outside," she says nonchalantly as she takes out the cocaine and other drugs from the bag.

"Cocaine?" I ask her confused. I didn't think she'd bring coke here...

"Do you have a problem with it?" she asks and I notice Nicole giving her the side look.

Nicole has been amazing to me while I keep hanging out with Irène who is obviously bad for me. She knows she shouldn't have brought cocaine, but she did it anyway.

"I didn't do it for you," she spits as if she read my mind.

"It's dangerous. There are too many drugs already-"

Irène walks away mid-talk. She opens the main doors and several people already storm inside.

Dominic goes to turn on the music and the colored lights.

I recognize some people from college but others I don't know at all. I haven't even seen them around campus.

More people keep coming in and soon it's too populated, luckily we set tables outside and there is a space heater on the terrace.

Dominic and Shanice invited the whole campus.

A few people I saw in class greet me and I smile, although it's quite dark here at times. The lights go fast from red to blue and then other colors.

People already grab snacks and several cans of cold beer.

I walk to the kitchen cupboard and Dominic starts the music.

Everyone cheers as soon as they hear the music. It's excruciatingly loud.

Nicole comes after me when I grab the bottle of vodka and soda.

"Are you sure you should drink?" Nicole screams so I can hear her.

"Once won't kill me," I yell.

I mix a bit of vodka and diet coke for us but I put more vodka in my cup.

She sips from the cup and she scrunches her face.

"It's strong."

I take a big gulp and I agree with her. It's good vodka, but it's really strong even when mixed with soda.

The burning liquid lingers on my throat and I take another taste just so I can get drunk faster.

I turn around and my eyes widen when I see Antonia. She grins at me and near her, I spot Derek.

He looks at me for a second before I turn my head toward Nicole—only to find out she isn't here anymore.

I frantically look around, desperately trying to find her and ask why the fuck is Antonia here...

It's a big party, of fucking course she is here. We didn't control who attends the party.

But why the fuck is Derek here? With her?

I shouldn't be mad. I don't want to be mad.

I take another glance at them and I catch Derek looking at me for one second before looking away.

Antonia says something to him and I try to process how close they are but the constantly changing lights are annoying.

He replies to her shortly and walks past her to Dominic.

Did they come together? He said they weren't talking anymore...

Maybe he lied. Or maybe he just started seeing her again. Fucking her again.

Here it comes. I'm mad.

I tighten my jaw and I close my eyes. I need to calm down. I take a deep breath in.

I take another sip from the bottle, forgetting that I had a cup.

I suddenly feel an arm around my waist and I instantly wince, thinking it's some pervert.

I turn around to find out it's Irène.

"Having fun?" she raises her voice as the music beat goes higher.

"So much fun," I reply coldly as I put the bottle down.

It's my last party of 2021. I don't want it to end like this. I don't want to suffer because of that idiot.

Well, the idiot who gifted me a car, which I haven't thanked him for.

How am I supposed to thank him when he goes out of his way to ignore me and never cross paths with me? And when I see him he is with that... thing?

Luckily, Irène and Dominic contributed to the gift too, otherwise, I would have felt way more guilty.

My new car is on campus, near the dormitory halls since I came here with Dominic and Nicole.

"Do you want me to throw her out?" Irène asks as she notices I've been staring at Antonia for the past few minutes.

I'm not like this... why does he make me feel like this. I hate it.

"No. I'll just drink more," I say with a fake smile.

She reveals her hand and she has two joints and a lighter. I stare at it for a few seconds and she takes my hand and puts it on my palm.

"Take it," she says as she walks away with a gin and tonic bottle.

I look around to see what everyone else is doing and I notice Derek is already looking at me.

At my hand specifically.

I close my hand, trying to not squeeze the joints too much.

I am not going to smoke any joint. I just want to annoy him.

I smirk at him as I walk away from the kitchen with the weed and the vodka bottle.

When I walk to the living room, Dominic pulls me aside.

"Joints? Amazing," he says already drunk.

"I'm not-"

"Listen, R-o-n-n-i-e," he spells out my name as he starts drunk dancing with the glass of whiskey in his hand, spilling some of it when he moves. I take a step backward so he doesn't spill it on my dress. "LISTEN. Are you listening?" he screams through the loud music as he grips my hand and tries to dance with me.

I let go and dance for a bit, although I am not in the mood. I need to drink more.

"YES. I am listening. Speak," I say annoyed.

"I didn't invite Antonia, I don't- know," he slurs his words as he spins me once. "I don't know why she is here, why, but I'll eliminate her." He bursts into a laugh and I can't help but do the same.

Eliminate.

He is utterly fucking drunk and I am not enough for this conversation.

I bring the vodka bottle to my mouth and I swallow until my heart burns.

The heartache persists for a few seconds but I ignore it. I already feel so warm.

I continue dancing with Dominic and I decide to ask him about Derek.

"Why is Derek here?" I scream as the music goes louder.

Someone pushes me and I regain my stability. He doesn't even say sorry as he continues dancing with a girl.

"Idiot," I spit.

He can't hear me, it was mostly a whisper.

"Dude." Dominic noticed and walks up to the guy, he grabs him. "Not cool. Apologize."

The guy snatches himself out of Dominic's hold and says, "whatever."

Before I can process what is happening, Dominic pushes him to the ground. A few girls gasp and they form a circle around us.

I grab Dominic and I pull him toward me. "The fuck are you doing? You are drunk, stop."

I'm tired of people getting into trouble for me when I didn't ask them to.

I don't let him say anything else as I walk away.

I really want to enjoy this party. I think as I bring the bottle to my lips again and sip, the harsh liquid wets my lips.

But it's fucking impossible. We should have had a smaller party, only close friends. Not Antonia and those idiots I've never seen before.

When I walk to the hallway, the lights immediately look yellow-ish now and it's causing a headache. I trip over myself as I take the stairs to the second floor. I grip the deck railing so I don't fall.

I enter a random room to chill in until it's midnight so I can go home. I don't turn on the lights, and I immediately go to the balcony.

I look at my hand and I analyze the joints. I haven't touched them in a year and a half. It's weird. It all started with a joint, and Derek helped me smoke it.

Here I am, two years later still at parties filled with drugs and idiotic people. And there is Derek, the only difference is that this time he is the one ignoring me.

I put the lighter and joints on my thighs. I bring the vodka bottle to my mouth and I take a big gulp again.

We are still not safe, they haven't found Felix and Alexander is well... fine. Probably messing with other girls' lives at his new college.

I know the alcohol is making an effect on my body but laying here in the dark is unusually calming and peaceful.

The joint is calling to me. Maybe I'm too drunk. I take it between my thumb and middle finger and I put it between my lips, I let it rest there for a few seconds and then I light it up slowly.

I shouldn't, but I will.

I take a deep hit and I relax with my back against the window wall. My lungs get filled with weed smoke and I relax, knowing that everything will be okay now, at least for a few hours.

I flick the butt of the joint with my index finger to ash it.

The balcony is spinning, and I feel restless but at the same time energetic. I'm hungry.

I'm thirsty.

No. I want another hit. Or maybe more vodka.

I take another taste from the vodka bottle and I put it down, sloppily, it almost falls over but I catch it.

I start laughing hysterically, hoping no one can see or hear me. I must look insane but I don't care.

"I am an idiot," I say while grinning and holding the joint.

I can hear the music from downstairs but it's still quiet, some people are screaming in the yard, but it's all so blurred out.

It's calming. Euphoric. Laying down in the darkness while drunk/high—whatever I am, feels amazing.

Some snacks would help now.

I suddenly turn when I hear the door crack.

"Who's there?" I ask as I can't see anything. I look for my phone—new phone I had to buy since I destroyed the other one. The figure walks to me as I stand up and the joint falls on the balcony floor.

"It's me, don't worry," Derek says in a low voice and I sigh annoyed.

I should leave. Why the fuck is he even here?

I don't want to see him, not after he keeps ignoring me and fucking that Tony girl...Antonia, whatever is her name.

I bring my hand to my forehead and I massage my temples. I have a severe headache and him being here doesn't help. 

"Don't leave," he says as he walks toward the balcony and he blocks my way out. He has a glass filled with alcohol in his other hand.

He takes a sip as he leans over the balcony railing.

I grab the joint again and as I'm about to take another hit, he grabs my hand.

"What are you doing?" he asks annoyed and overly protective.

"Are you my dad?"

"Don't be like this," Derek says as he takes a sip from his glass.

"Why are you here?" I ask, my voice coming out more bitter than I intended. He seems taken aback. Good.

"I'm not here for you."

"Okay? Then leave?"

He shrugs, ignoring me as he looks over the balcony at some drunk teenagers kissing.

"You got the wrong room, Antonia is downstairs," I say annoyed.

"Okay?" he mocks my previous reply and I roll my eyes.

I hate him. I hate him so fucking much.

He took my joint too.

"You came with her," my mouth speaks before I can stop it. I'm so fucking drunk and so fucking mad.

The euphoria and calmness went out of the door the moment he walked in.

He makes me nervous, I pace around the balcony trying to not trip. I want to leave. I should leave.

"I didn't come-," he mutters annoyed and then he stops, he sighs. "You know what? Whatever, Veronica."

"Give me back my joint," I demand and he ignores me, still looking away.

I remember I had another joint and I search for it on the balcony floor, then I grab it and lit it as fast as I can without him noticing.

I take another fast puff and he turns toward me. He walks closer to me and he snatches the joint from my hand.

I exhale most of the smoke onto his face and he doesn't even flinch as he indirectly inhales some of it.

Derek looks down on me as I hold his gaze, we are closer than we should be and this small balcony doesn't help. It's so dark, I can't see much but I can see his light blue-grey eyes. He seems pretty frustrated with me right now.

"Don't," he mutters as I hold his gaze and I gather the courage to say what I'm about to say.

Well, the weed helps.

"Or what?" I grip the vodka bottle tight. "Are you going to fuck the addiction out of me?"

I grin, knowing that it worked. He is surprised but he quickly composes his expression.

But I am even more surprised when he takes a deep and long hit from the joint.

I did not expect that.

He inhales some of the smoke but he blasts most of it into my face, returning the favor.

"Aw, so much for helping the drug addict," I mock him.

"Drug addict? You aren't that, Veronica, what you did two years ago doesn't define you now," he says as he chugs the remaining of his alcohol.

I sit on the doorstep, it's quite cold, but I bet it would be so much colder if I hadn't drunk vodka on an empty stomach.

I look at him, my eyebrows are furrowed and I know he knows how much he annoys me. But I annoy him the same way.

"Worry about your damn problems," I slur bitterly as I drink.

The taste of it makes me vomit.

Derek grabs the bottle as well and he takes a long sip from it. I guess he gave up on his plan to help me drink and smoke less.

"You are reckless, and you don't even want to be helped."

"I didn't ask for your help. Y- you left me," I raise my tone frustrated. He keeps saying he wanted to help me but he let me rot with my pain for over a year and then he continues to send me mixed signals.

"I was in prison!" he yells exhausted.

I look at him annoyed and he does the same. I suddenly remember he kind of gifted me a car.

My vision is slightly blurry and my thoughts are running at maximum speed.

"Thank you for the car," I say embarrassed.

I don't want to thank him, because we just had a petty fight, and I hate him.

Derek shrugs as if the car was no big deal.

He puts the vodka bottle between us and his fingers slightly brush against the sides of my thighs. He locks eyes with me and I look away. The balcony is too small, and it feels suffocating to be here with the air filled with smoke and alcohol.

I don't even feel the cold anymore. I know I am drunk, but it's the kind of chill drunk. The music is far and low, I can feel my breathing and heart slowing down.

But when I realize he is here, and so close to my skin, my heartbeat fastens.

I look up at the sky and it's already spinning. A lot of alcohol mixed with weed is never a good idea, it just hits so fucking fast.

I feel my chest warm and tight. I try to stand up so I can walk around for a bit but I fall, I grip my hands onto the railing but Derek already tries to grab me.

When he touches my waist and holds me up, I feel a burning sensation on my skin, through my dress.

I look at him, only a few inches away from his face. He is supposed to let me go since I can now stand on my own. But he doesn't.

My heart starts beating fast and I'd be taking several shallow breaths if he wasn't right in my face. I try to hold my breath.

The whole world feels like it's spinning and my thoughts get all jumbled up.

Derek lets go of me and I press my lower back against the railing.

"A- any update on Felix?" I change the subject but my brain is giving up on me.

Why is he so close... and hot.

Literally hot, his touch feels like it's burning through my clothes and every fiber of my being.

He is drunk too, but he handles it well. I should leave. It's not safe for us to be here alone because I want to jump on him.

"No update."

I try to reach the vodka bottle but he lifts his hand in the air, I get closer to him and I try to jump but he is way taller and my arms are short.

He laughs at me and I roll my eyes.

"You are drinking too much," I say as I pretend to give up on trying to reach it.

He lets his guard down for a second and I jump and grab the bottle from his hand, hoping it won't spill over.

I giggle as I put it between my lips and take another sip.

He shakes his head and smirks as he looks down at me.

"And you have too many advantages over me," he whispers, his whiskey and minty breath fanning my skin.

I notice a bit of flirting in his tone so I play along.

I shouldn't.

Shut up, brain.

"Like what?"

I can smell his aftershave and the heavy aroma of weed on him, but I bet I smell worse considering I took more hits.

"I should go," Derek says as I wait for him to answer the previous question. I block the way out.

He came to me, I won't let him go easy.

"How is it fair that you can come and leave whenever you please and tell me what to do?" I ask with a slight annoyance behind my words.

"It's for your own good-"

"Oh, for fuck's sake. The same reply every fucking time," I curse annoyed as I close the gap between us.

He looks away but I cup his face and force him to look at me. I feel his stubble underneath my fingers and I slightly caress his jawline.

"You are scared you won't be able to control yourself around me," I whisper as my hand reaches his pants, grazing over the belt.

I don't know what I am doing, kind of. I don't want to stop.

He doesn't reply. My knees are weak and I could collapse anytime now, I put on a brave face but I know what I'm doing is risky.

I run my fingers on the material of his shirt, they travel upwards to his chest and I play with the buttons. I should open them, or tease him.

Derek doesn't do anything. He looks at me waiting for my next move. He is so sure I wouldn't go through with this.

"I'm really mad at you, really. But I'll get over it." I smile as I unbutton the third button of his shirt, then the fourth, then the fifth and he exhales, his whiskey breath hits my face.

He grabs my wrist and stops me before I fully take off his shirt, but it's already unbuttoned enough so I can see his exposed chest.

Derek squeezes my wrist and I tighten my jaw. "You like it rough, Derek?" I tease him as I make puppy eyes. He chuckles dryly.

"Stop," he says as he lets go of my wrist, but he doesn't put any distance between us. "I am not going to repeat myself," he adds authoritatively.

"Or what?" I challenge him and he tenses up.

Derek loves this. He knows he shouldn't give in but he does it anyway.