A month later

I expected Atlanta to be gorgeous during winter, but it's not even snowing and it's Christmas. I wanted to wear my cozy sweaters and chill by the fireplace—which I don't have—while drinking hot chocolate rather than vodka on an empty stomach.

Anything to get away from college, even if it's only three weeks. No one would believe me if I said I studied the whole past month for finals, but Irène and Nicole saw me. I ditched most of the parties and tried to not think about drinking until I forget why I am even drinking in the first place. I'll leave that for New Year's Eve.

The next best thing about this hot chocolate is that Nicole is sitting in front of me, in my living room. We are facing the window and to our surprise, it's pretty sunny.

She sips from the cup and licks her lips which are slightly tinted from the chocolate. "It's pretty good."

I didn't have to convince her to spend Christmas with me. She just didn't want to spend it with her horrible mother that would force her to not eat anything because 'you gain the most weight on Christmas.' I was pretty shocked when Nicole told me that.

My mother is currently finishing her apple pie. She usually makes it on the day of Christmas so that it's freshly baked and warm.

We help with the dishes and house cleaning. Nicole's been sleeping with me the past week.

"Irène's dad actually got most of Felix's men arrested," I say and she puts down the cup.

"Really? That's great."

"It would be if they arrested Felix too. He could be looking for us." I sigh. "He most certainly is, we ruined everything for him."

I wonder if Derek is okay. I know he is the first target—or was, considering Irène ended up doing the most damage to Felix's business.

I haven't talked to him since that night. I went home and he never contacted me again, and I did the same. I don't know why I expected otherwise.

Sometimes I wonder if he was genuine about 'I'm not over you.' If he was, he has a very weird way of showing it.

I understand Felix is still out there but he is only one man, against six people. He doesn't have any of his workers anymore. We'd be mostly safe.

Are we safer individually? No. I don't think so. Perhaps for Derek it was just an excuse to let me down easy.

I'm never alone, and neither they are. We don't say it aloud but we are all terrified of what Felix could do to us. He has nothing to lose. They even showed his picture on local news of Atlanta.

As if it helps with anything...

My rapist had his image all over TV for a couple of months but he still hasn't been caught... and to think I am near the place where he assaulted me.

Maybe living on campus isn't that bad. It's pretty safe.

"I think it's almost done," my mom yells from the kitchen as she opens the oven.

Nicole and I stand up to check out her food and by the smell alone, we're starving.

My mom is too good at this.

I thought she was going to spend Christmas with her new boyfriend or whatever that was, but apparently, it was just a fling and she never meant it as something serious.

I don't know if it makes me feel better or worse.

Is it bad that I wanted a paternal figure? I desperately needed someone to call dad, but no one will ever replace my father.

"Do you want a slice now?" my mom asks as we look at the delicious apple pie.

We already have so much food ready for dinner and it won't hurt to have some dessert before so we accept.

She cuts two slices for us and gives us two napkins. We sit on the couch while we eat.

It's absolutely amazing. The tastes are mind-blowing and it's hard to concentrate on anything other than the sweetness and freshness of the apple paired with a light dash of cinnamon. The pie is soft but the pie crust is my favorite.

My mom goes to the bathroom and Nicole turns to me, excited. "So, Alexander! What happened to him?

"Oh god..." I smile uncomfortably. I wish I could tell her what she wants to hear, she knows what he did to me and he deserves to go to prison.

"He transferred college, his family paid his way out of prison and cleared out his name. Although the college he picked isn't very... prestigious," I explain after I finish my bite.

Nicole eats her food way slower than I'd thought she would—mostly playing with it, it's strange considering her mom serves salad with lemon juice for Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter.

"Wow, being a spoiled rich kid pays off," she says.

Nicole is in the upper average class, and her house is quite big compared to mine, but it's nothing compared to Alexander or Shanice's money.

And Irène Leroy is probably the richest person we know.

I walk to my bedroom to change into something less warm—the oven made the house hotter, even when we opened a few windows.

My mom stops me and she looks at me with an indecipherable expression.

"Can we talk for one minute?" she asks in a worried tone. I nod.

"Have you checked the box I gave you? You haven't said a word about it-"

"I didn't find it, I thought I put it in the car but it disappeared when I decided to open it," I confess.

Why is she so worried about it? I get it, she lied. But what's exactly inside that is so bad she thinks I'd not come home for Christmas and I'd not talk to her again?

"Oh..." she says disappointed. Weird. "Are you sure you looked everywhere?"

"I left it in the car, nowhere else. I am sure, mom," I say annoyed. "What was inside?"

"You need to find it. I can't tell you before you see for yourself."

Could it be that Alexander took it? He is the only one who had my car key.

I walk past my mom and I go into my bedroom. I should be upset with her but I'm too tired. I'd rather pretend everything is okay and spend one fucking good day without complications. For once.

Am I asking for too much?

It's hard coming back to my old room, even if I've been here for a week, it still hits me. As if I can still smell the weed filling up the air, the times I'd smoke by the window and I'd pray my parents won't smell it by the morning, loaded the room with perfume and kept the window open all night even when it was freezing outside.

I can't forget when Derek sneaked into my room.

Why do I miss those times? Why does it make me sad? They were bad times. I wasn't happy.

And I'm not happier now.

I grab a light green top with long sleeves and I take a look at the reflection in the tall mirror in front of the bed.

My hair is past my shoulders and darker than last summer, it gets bleached by the sunlight fast but by the time it's cold, it goes back to dark brown. My skin is fair and I don't tan, neither during summer. I only get sunburnt, I have a few freckles randomly spawned over my face but they aren't that visible. I look pale, not the beautiful kind of pale. Just sad, dead outside just as much as I am inside.

I don't think I look beautiful, I was cute when I was younger but I feel like the heavy drug and alcohol use affected my appearance.

I'm not as thin as I was when I was doing coke regularly. I'm okay, with a slight hint of new curves simply because I gained weight, but my breasts are still mostly non-existent, although the push-up bra I'm wearing shows a lot of cleavage.

My eyes are a depressing kind of blue, murky and dull. They lost the spark.

I sigh disappointed and I swallow back my self-deprecating thoughts. I'll think about them another day.

"VERONICA?" I startle as Nicole screams my name and I run toward the stairs.

What now?

"Yeah?" I say as I sprint downstairs, into the living room lightened by the Christmas tree. The branches are filled with garlands, baubles, and cute little lights. We kept it modern, pretty white but it fits the living room. There are presents underneath the Christmas tree but not many as it's just Nicole, my mom, and me.

I pass by the wall that separates the kitchen from the living room and I walk to Nicole.

Dominic stands in front of the main door, inside and he smiles brightly when he lays his brown eyes on me.

I think brown eyes are absolutely beautiful, I don't understand the hate toward darker eye colors. Brown eyes are either honey pools that make you melt or so dark that you lose yourself in them, it's enthralling and mysterious.

He comes to me and he picks me up, much to my surprise but I let him do it. Dom squeezes me tightly and I never realized how strong he is or maybe I'm just overestimating my weight.

"What- why, how?" I ask him as he puts me down, all giddy.

"Veronica at a loss of words. Amazing," he jokes and I grin, quietly pushing him away.

"I'm here to make your Christmas better, obviously," he jokes and I laugh.

I missed this. Dominic and I had a rocky friendship the past year, but now that the truth is out, we are back to being how we were before. Best friends.

My mom comes and she greets him, seemingly forgetting how she and my dad almost reported him to the police two years ago because they thought I was abusing drugs because of him.

My mom still doesn't know about Alexander, or any of that Felix's stuff, let alone Derek.

I wonder if she could ever change her opinion about Derek...

"The mom is just as beautiful as the daughter," Dominic flirts as he takes my mom's hand and kisses it. My mom laughs.

Anyone else would think he just complimented her and meant nothing by that.

No, Dominic has mommy issues and he would absolutely flirt with older women even if it's my mom.

"I'm adopted," I say in amusement and he shushes me.

"You always have to ruin my pick up lines."

We all laugh as we go to the living room, Dominic takes out his shoes at the door and I take his jacket.

"You have to ignore Dominic, he has no idea what he is saying most of the time," Nicole says to my mom and she smiles.

Dinner is in two hours but we will watch a Christmas movie before.

"Do you want some apple pie?" my mom asks as she brightly smiles at Dom.

Mom. Don't.

The last thing I need is Dom to be my dad, I didn't mean that when I said I want a paternal figure.

He is 21 years old.

"Mrs. Reeves," he jokes, "I could never reject good food."

My mom comes back with a plate of apple pie and Dominic eats it fast, without talking to us.

"You don't like it very much," I joke as he stuffs his face with the baked good.

"It's terrible, absolutely terrible," he says to my mom. "Can I have another slice?"

We all burst out in laughter and I lean back into the couch as my mom brings him another slice.

She sits down and eats one with us.

~

Some people open presents in the morning or the night before but in my family, we always open them after dinner, as a way to be grateful for the food and the presents. Plus it was always just my parents and me.

I'm helping my mom set up the dinner table and I realize I don't have any gift for Dominic. I didn't know he was coming... but Nicole knew.

That's why there are three presents from Nicole under the tree, while I only put two.

Did Dominic bring anything? It's going to be so awkward if he brought something.

He keeps texting on his phone and I try to peek over to see what's keeping him so glued to the phone. Perhaps a new "girlfriend," he doesn't do serious relationships but he doesn't miss on opportunities to sleep with new girls. I don't think he is a player, because no girl is being played. They know what they are getting out of it, and they love it.

After we carefully put the turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, and vegetables on the table, and three glasses of wine and one of gin and tonic—for Dominic of course, we all sit at the table and thank my mom for cooking this deliciously.

We helped her but she deserves all the praise, Nicole and I aren't exactly skilled at cooking but we won't burn down the kitchen or die from starvation.

"It looks amazing!" Dominic exclaims and my mom thanks him.

I try to eat a little from everything so I don't get full too fast and I adore the atmosphere we created in the dining room. It feels like Christmas, which I haven't felt in years, the TV is on and playing some Christmas songs, and the food is heavenly, melting on my taste buds, perfectly cooked and well seasoned.

"Thank you for the food, Mrs. Reeves," Dominic says and we express the same gratitude when we are done.

We clean the dishes and Dominic helps with cleaning the table.

I look out the window and it's not snowing, but at least it's not cold. Maybe next year it will snow, but this was a great Christmas Day. I finally got a break and enjoyed everything.

Dominic sends a text again and his phone buzzes every two minutes.

"Okay, now presents," Nicole says and I nod, still awkward that I have nothing for Dominic.

When Dominic leaves to take a call, I whisper to Nicole, "you should have told me he is coming! I didn't get him a present."

"Relax, he doesn't care."

We gather near the Christmas tree as we wait for Dominic to come back, he puts his phone on the table, screen down.

"I start!" Nicole says enthusiastically and I smile. Hoping she likes my present.

She takes one of the presents and it's from my mom. Green packaged, quite small.

"I hope you like it!" my mom says nervously as Nicole opens her present.

She cuts open the box and inside there is an amazing slightly patterned white dress, with a black bow tie attached to the collar, the wool seems of high quality and the box has 'Chanel' on it. I'm not even going to ask how my mom had that much money. It must cost thousands of dollars.

Nicole wants to try it on and when she comes back it perfectly fits her, I didn't even know her size but my mom has a good eye. She does a pirouette and it looks so elegant and completely fits her style. Really preppy and kind of old money.

"It's absolutely beautiful!" Nicole says as she hugs my mom.

She is like a second mother to Nicole and I'm happy about it, Nicole deserves better parents.

Once they break the hug, Nicole changes back into her previous outfit and she opens my present.

I'm scratching the inside of my palm, cold sweating. I want her to love my gift and it's hard to top my mother's gift.

Nicole opens it and smiles brightly. I got her what she wanted for months, and I had to save a lot of money, and my car insurance... is well... underpaid.

She takes out the golden Apple Watch and she squeals as she runs to hug me.

"You kept saying how you desperately needed one," I say and she wraps her arms around me tightly.

"Ahhh! I love it!"

I never was interested in watches and it was a surprise to find how expensive smartwatches can be.

But anything for Nicole Gilbert, I'd probably have sold a kidney too.

"Wait, I have a gift for you too!" Dominic exclaims and we turn to him surprised because it's not under the Christmas tree.

He takes out a small box from his backpack and hands it to Nicole.

She excitedly and curiously opens it and it reveals a few gift cards for various stores which all amount to two thousand dollars total.

"I had no idea what you like and I don't care to find out, so money it is," he jokes and Nicole laughs.

Money is never a bad gift. I laugh along with them.

After we open all the gifts and cry and hug each other for an hour—Nicole gave me a set of sexy and expensive lingerie and shockingly my mom didn't hit her.

I bet she wants to know who I'd wear that for.

I'd like to know too.

Nicole thinks I'll be sleeping with Derek soon and it's just a matter of time, especially after I told her he was about to see my small breasts—so exciting!

And my mom gave me a big set of expensive body and face products, mostly skincare. She picked them fairly well and the body lotion smells amazing.

If I will have sex with someone, at least I will smell and look great.

I highly doubt I'm getting any action soon though.

I gifted my mom an incredible kitchen robot, which does about anything and cuts down the time she spends in the kitchen, although she loves cooking and baking.

"Let's go outside," Dominic says as he pulls us out of the house, we are confused but we follow him.

The Christmas lights all over the neighborhood suddenly blind me as soon as I step foot outside on the porch but my eyes adjust to the colored lights and I see a red car with an immense bow on it, parking in front of my house.

My mouth's agape and I'm sure everyone else is as shocked as I am when Irène steps out of the car and she waves around the key.

"For you, babe," Irène says as she hugs me and then greets my mom for the first time.

"Oh my God. Am I dreaming? I am definitely dreaming," I squeal as I run to the car.

Deep red, expensive, so clean but small, nothing compared to my old car. It looks absolutely majestic, and I know I won't afford the insurance and maintenance.

I smile brightly as I run to hug Dominic too.

"While it's true that I helped pay for the car, it was mostly Irène and Derek who paid-"

NO. No. No. Don't say that name around my mom. Please no. I hope she didn't hear it.

"Derek?" my mom repeats and I seriously consider taking the new car key and running far away.

Derek paid for it too? What the fuck? Why?

I love the car, it's so beautiful. But now I'm going to be dead.

Dominic looks at me confused and I shoot him a dark look. He shouldn't ever mention Derek. My mom was super against him especially after she found out I was about to run away with him, but he got arrested.

She always tried to convince me to not send him letters.

She still thinks Derek forced me to overdose and now it would be a good time to tell her about Alexander.

"Do you still talk to Derek?" she asks in an authoritative tone, even though I'm eighteen years old and I can talk to anyone I want.

"No-"

"I didn't say Derek, I said Karen. Karen. She is from Veronica's class," Dominic tries to save me but my mom doesn't buy it.

KAREN? Really, Dominic?!

No wonder Derek didn't come with Irène, this is awkward and my mother would murder him.

"You said Derek, I'm still young and can perfectly hear," she replies back coldly.

Why does she have to ruin the only good day I have once a year?

"Thank you for the present, I love you so much guys," I say as I pull Irène and Dominic in for a hug and ignore my mom.

"I don't even know why would you do that, it's so expensive!" I say but they shrug.

"You lucky bastard," Nicole says as she pats me on the back and Irène hands me the car key.

I want to drive it around so badly, I just know it must feel so smooth.

I need to thank Derek too... he is so weird, why would he participate with money for this gift when he isn't even talking to me?!

"We aren't done talking, Veronica," my mom says through gritted teeth as I look at the car.

"Mom. Stop. Derek is in prison and you know I moved on," I lie. I never told her he got out.

"You sent him letters until a few months ago, I don't think so," she retorts and I roll my eyes.

"For once, don't fucking ruin this day. You lie all the time too. Do you want to talk about that box filled with your lies?"

"I didn't raise you like this," she says disappointed as she heads inside. I run after her.

I desperately need this day to end well. I can't ruin it for everyone else too.

"Mom, stop," I yell.

"He is bad for you, do you think your dad would have approved?!" she yells back and I look at Irène, Dominic, and Nicole standing awkwardly near the car.

"I'm not talking to him mom, for the love of God, stop assuming," I say frustrated.

"Just go," my mom says and I sigh.

What is her problem? What does she have against Derek when I continuously proved to her that he is a decent person? Plus I'm not talking to him. I'm not with him and it's over. It ended two years ago.

I walk back to the car and I decide to give it a try with my friends. I need to focus on this for now.

What a perfect Christmas.