"I'm not your friend."

I open my mouth, shocked, surprised he even said that and not understanding what he means.

He notices my wary expression but lets it slide, he sits up and he looks at me profusely with dark brown eyes.

I look around and I notice the room slightly spinning which is strange. Why do I feel this way?

A sudden wave of euphoria takes over and I instantly remember when I used to get high.

Could it be possible that I got high? Off what?

"Alex... I don't feel well," I mutter under my breath, sick and confused at the same time.

It's even worse than the high feeling I used to get from drugs. It's so overwhelmingly strong, my heart is jumping through the rib cage.

Alex looks at me and closes the distance we have between our faces.

He gently places a few pecks on my cheeks.

"You'll be fine, let me take care of you." He lowers his mouth to my chin, leaving small kisses everywhere and I suddenly lose control of what is happening.

He is blurry, the whole room is blurry, I look over his shoulder and it feels just like a dream. I didn't have any drugs, what is happening?

I hurriedly put my hands on his arms and try to push him but fail miserably. I lose all the strength in my body as I try to tell him that I don't feel well.

Alexander lowers himself to my neck and begins sucking on it too harshly, I try to pull back. I feel his nails dig into my arms.

"You will feel so good, Ronny. Just relax," his hot alcoholic breath fawns over my skin and I flinch. My palms begin to sweat, I feel so small in this big room and so useless under his touch. It feels like when I was assaulted.

This isn't real, it can't be. I squint my eyes again, I make out the shapes and it's like I see Derek instead of Alex.

I squeeze my eyes shut and my imagination runs wild, now it's Alex who is so close to my cleavage but I push my body back, farther away from him.

Derek is in prison... it's not him. Why am I acting like this?

I place my hands on his chest and I take a fugitive but blurry look at the guy holding me.

Now the wavy hair is flying on his forehead, his icy blue eyes are staring hungrily into my soul and I realize it's James.

But it keeps changing, his features change every second and I'm getting even more lightheaded.

I push him away with all the force I find within myself and I stand up, wobbly. He grabs my arm, forcing me to fall again on the bed but I stand up, the second time.

He says something I can't understand and I turn to the door, confused if it's actually the door.

"S-sorry," I stutter as I run to the door and blindly search for the knob.

I run out of the room, leaving it open and I make my way through the faceless people as motion sickness is getting to me.

I look for my car keys in the purse and I run outside the fraternity house.

I rush outside, the cold breeze slightly making me feel better but the weird colored lights are fuzzy and too close.

I see a glimpse of my rouge car and run to it, almost tripping over the sidewalk.

I desperately press the car key button and get inside the car once it opens. I roll down the windows and I press my head against the steering wheel, confused about what is happening to me.

Am I dreaming?

I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

I turn on the car and slowly back away as I try to make out the shapes ahead of me. Once I'm out of the parking lot, I pick up the speed and drive faster.

Where should I go?

I drive mindlessly, quite empty ahead of me and I suddenly get the idea to go to Dominic's apartment. It's not far away and I know I need to talk to him after what he did to me.

I drive faster and I sometimes lose control but I suddenly get it back.

I reach his apartment fifteen minutes later. I knock repeatedly on the door and I don't stop until Dominic answers the door.

The door opens and I force my back to straighten up and try to look as normal as I can but I know I look like a mess.

Dominic stands in front of the door, looking at me confused and his eyebrows are furrowed. He seems distressed, maybe even more than me.

I walk towards him but stumble upon myself and he catches me before I fall.

My vision is even more blurry now. I try to make out the way to his entrance but he stops me, and shields the entrance with his body.

"Don't tell me you did cocaine again..." his eyes darken and his cold, raw and blurry expression is enough to force me to think about what he said.

"I swear I didn't, I- I swear," I stutter as he holds me and he closes the door, which makes me more confused. I thought he would invite me in but maybe he is constraining me to go home.

The corners of my eyes slowly darken but I focus on Dominic's face. His eyes are filled with disappointment. The same disappointment Derek had on his face.

I shake my head, pushing back the useless and bitter tears. Why am I like this? I didn't do any kind of drugs! I didn't even drink...

I'm not even sure if someone did even spike my water-

The Coke. I haven't thought about it, fuck, I'm stupid.

"Someone must have spiked my drink!"

He doesn't seem to believe me, he takes a deep breath in and I wait for the words to come out. Expected.

"I will take you home." He tries to turn my back towards the door but I don't move an inch.

He thinks I am a liar. A burden. A liability.

"I'm not lying- I didn't do anything!" I yell at him and he sighs shortly, then he gestures me to stop yelling and causing problems.

He lets go of me and I take a step backward involuntarily but I catch myself before I fall.

A few weird colored shapes appear and I rub my eyes harshly, which makes them even more vivid.

My limbs are going numb, I can feel my eyes slowly shutting down. I just want to fall into a deep sleep and never wake up.

"Can we go... inside?" I struggle to talk and despite not being able to see much, the room darkens, I can see his eyes widen in horror.

"No!" he exclaims abruptly, "let me take you home."

I place my hand on the wall to support my weight, and then I turn around and put my back against it as I try to understand why he seems so shocked.

"Are you with someone..." I mutter under my breath.

"You look like a mess." He ignores my question which makes me even more frustrated.

"I told you, I didn't do cocaine!" I yell again.

"It's hard to trust you."

"Ha! It's hard to trust me? It's funny you say that." I struggle to get close to him again and I point my finger at him, although I'm pretty sure I'm not pointing right. My head is spinning. "You lied to me for months but I'm hard to trust when I've been nothing but honest?"

"Be quiet. Stop talking." He looks around to check if the neighbors are here.

My eyes widen at the raw tone in his voice but I do as he says. I wouldn't want to go to jail again for public disturbance.

I throw my hands in the air and I mutter, "I'm leaving. Alone."

"Don't be stupid, I'll go with you. Wait here second." I nod, he opens the door slightly and I wonder if I should go inside. He is definitely hiding something but is it my problem?

I guess it is if he is hiding it from me, like he always does.

Before I contemplate too much about it, I push the door a minute after he entered and I get inside, almost tripping again.

Dominic isn't in the living room. And no one else is here.

I notice the jacket on the sofa, a black leather jacket Dominic would never wear and I walk towards it.

Before I reach the sofa, I become even more exhausted and light-headed. I'm so tired, I just want to lay down on the floor and drift off. I can't resist anymore.

As I'm about to sit on the sofa, Dominic comes back from his bedroom. My hands start sweating, he knows I'm trouble but I entered uninvited because I thought he was hiding something which he isn't. Apparently.

I crumble myself up to look at Dominic but I'm either going crazy or I see two people.

I squint my eyes. I open them and everything is still dizzy. I look at Dominic then at the other person.

The man standing next to Dominic is wearing a white tank top as if he has been sleeping here. I take a walk towards him hoping that closing the gap would make looking at him easier.

My eyes travel to his torso and I get a weird sense of familiarity. This must be someone I know. I look up and I notice the stub, the sharp chin, and short hair.

I focus my eyes on his face, ignoring the room spinning around me and I look in his eyes.

Deep vivid blue eyes.

I bring my hand to my mouth when I realize it's Derek.

The look on his face, he seems... confused, disappointed. The same look he had that night but with a hint of... pity.

This has to be a dream, it's not real. Derek is in prison and I'm definitely drunk, or high, or both.

"Veronica?"

Suddenly both of them disappear and the room continues spinning. My knees go weak, I know I'm dreaming. This isn't real.

I will wake up in my cozy bed and the morning after I will continue my life as if nothing happened, get ready for college classes while mourning Derek as if he is dead.

My eyes get heavy and I feel like I can't keep myself up anymore, I see one of them coming to grab me before I close my eyes.

A few hours later

I open my eyes, scrunching my face as the light appears.

I see Dominic hovering over me, and he takes a breath of relief as soon as he sees I'm awake.

I look around confused, this is Dominic's apartment... why am I here?

"What happened?" I ask Dominic as he puts a cup of cappuccino on the table. I lift myself from the couch and I notice the blanket over me.

"You passed out. Do you remember anything?" He asks suspiciously.

"No... why did I faint? What happened?" I ask again, grabbing the cappuccino.

"You were so drunk and high. Did you relapse?"

Oh, fuck.

I remember starting to feel weird, I remember being at the fraternity house with Alexander but I don't remember how I got here.

"I was at the frat party... with Irène, Nicole and Alexander-" I start explaining but I feel a tight lump in my throat as I continue getting random flashes from the prior night.

I caught Antonia talking about Derek, then I was in a random bedroom alone, suddenly I remember seeing Derek's face... right here. In this living room.

"Derek-" I mutter confused and Dom's eyes widen. He quickly composes himself but I feel like everything is so unusual.

"Dominic- is Derek out?"

He shakes his head and clears out this throat, "no, he has four years left."

I gulp down hard, remembering how much time he has left and how it's all my fault. It was a made-up memory, hallucination. It didn't happen.

Of course, it didn't. What did I expect? Derek getting out barely a year in?

"I am leaving now... I need some fresh air."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Dominic asks.

"No, it's fine."

"Wait, I'll bring your purse." He leaves to the kitchen and the phone screen on the table lightens.

I can't resist the temptation and I peek my head over the table.

I notice a text from someone and I bring the phone closer to me so I can read it.

Derek: is everything alright?

My lips part in shock as I swipe up to unlock the phone and to my amazement, it has no password. I scroll up to see more text messages.

Several messages are two weeks old:

Derek: I'm at Shanice's old house.

Dominic: Oh, right, our first party

I throw the phone back to where it was, turning the screen off.

I put my palms on the sides of the couch and I press hard, unable to think clearly.

It wasn't my imagination... it was real. I saw Derek.

I bring my hand to my mouth and I accidentally let out a whimper.

He is free. He is outside and he saw me in that horrible condition.

What's worse is that he didn't want to see me, he ran away just to not meet my eyes ever again.

Dominic is lying to me, even when I call him out. Alexander is right, I can't trust anyone, maybe not even him.

Everyone is hiding something...

And Derek-

Dominic comes back and he hands me the purse, luckily he is too distracted to notice my startled expression.

"Thank you," I mutter while grabbing the purse, struggling to hide the tremor in my tone.

"No prob-"

"Sorry, I have to go now..." I murmur and I quickly walk to the door.

I know he tries to say something else but I don't let him and I leave his apartment.