Title: The Girl in the Tank: Galactic Consortium, Season 1
Author: RJEliason

Description:
Less than five months ago, lights appeared in the sky. Days later the ships started to arrive. They call themselves the Consortium. They are human, or at least Simian, descending from the same genetic line as humans. They terraformed this planet centuries ago, sent settlers a mere forty thousand years ago. Now they are back, ready to begin the exploration of this galaxy. For Cheyenne Walker, Chief Petty Officer aboard the Cambridge, a USS destroyer, the arrival of the Consortium is just one more obstacle to finishing her final tour of duty and getting home to her kids. The political upheaval forces the US into an uneasy alliance with the Consortium against China, and puts the Cambridge on the edge of a nuclear blast. Cheyenne wakes to find herself aboard the Corelean, a Consortium Medical Evacuation ship. Floating in a medi-tank, she wonders if they really can't repair the wreck of her body, whether these newcomers are friends or foes and most importantly, will she ever make it back to children?

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The title draws me in at first glance. I, as a reader, immediately wonder who the 'girl' is, and why she's confined to a tank.

The title is straightforward yet intriguing, and I appreciate the suggestion that this is part of a larger series. Including the 'Season 1' gives readers an idea of what they're in for, clearly stating that this book will not be the only one to be set in this world.

Your summary is well-structured. The language pulls me in, and all of the information is presented logically.

The summary is quite detailed, and while this can be problematic, it is well executed here. The information feels like a synopsis of the storyline, rather than a list of potential spoilers. While detailed descriptions can easily give away too much, this one is doing its job effectively.

My one critique of the summary is a grammatical one. In the last line, the sentence is missing a pronoun before 'children'. While this is minor, I do suggest going through and making the adjustment for clarity and flow.

The story's plot is well organized, and I can tell that it was given a lot of thought. The storyline is easy to follow, and the characters' development feels realistic and smooth to me.

I appreciate the development of the alien culture, and the way in which we, as readers, see it from both sides. In giving us snapshots from both the human and alien point of view, we can see the cultural divides and the barriers between the races.

Real-world issues are explored, but those are given a new portrayal thanks to the human-alien interaction. I like the idea that some human concepts can't be translated to the aliens' language, and that some Consortium constructs aren't easily explained to the humans. This makes for an interesting change, as a lot of Science Fiction authors attempt to simplify their aliens' cultures so that the foreign concepts overlap with humans' views of the world.

I think that complicating the cultural differences forces readers to not only examine current real-world issues, but also allows us to imagine what extraterrestrial beings might think of our culture and societies.

I also like the divisions of the story. It is split into episodes, each of which have several parts. For example, episode one has around six separate parts, each contained in a chapter.

Because of the divisions, and the descriptive nature of your third-person narration, I could easily see this story as a TV show or movie. I enjoy it in novel form, but if this were ever to be adapted into a screenplay or television program, I could see myself being drawn to alternative depictions.

In terms of critiques, I don't have a lot to offer. I do think that there are some issues with dialogue separations. Each time a character begins speaking, the quotation should be moved to a new line, creating a new paragraph. Some of your characters' dialogue was included at the end of the previous paragraph. This isn't a large issue, but the general consensus is that characters' dialogue should be moved to a separate paragraph, unless the character was speaking when the current paragraph began.

I also picked up on a handful of grammatical errors in each chapter. This didn't slow me down while reading, but I do think these should be addressed with a thorough edit.

Lastly, while the characters themselves were well-written, the names got confusing at times. In the beginning, I had a difficult time differentiating between Shana and Lana. I assumed that the pronunciations were the same, other than the first letter or two. This was a minor point for me, but it might be confusing for new readers. I don't think a major change is necessary, though a slight difference in spelling/pronunciation could make the two more distinct.

Overall, this book was well-structured and nicely executed. I found the storyline to be unique, and I enjoyed the incorporation of cultural differences between human and alien societies. I think that there is room for improvement, but primarily on the surface level.

Would I recommend this story? Absolutely. If you are in to Science Fiction stories, this will be suited to your interests. I could also see this being popular among anyone who enjoys space-themed comics or television shows.

OVERALL SCORE: 94/100