Title: My Morbid Ember
Author: skyrain29

Description:
♡ E X C E R P T ♡

" We're not compatible", Camellia screamed

"Fine, but I never said that I desired "easy",that's not worthwhile", Josiah spoke earnestly, with a glint of pride in his meek brown eyes..

Maybe it was the night or Josiah's stance, but Camellia was entranced with Josiah's simple boyish charms...

⚘𝓞 𝓥 𝓔 𝓡 𝓥 𝓘 𝓔 𝓦⚘

Camellia; teenage witch,(not to her knowledge),but still, and Josiah is a warlock; in the same circumstantial position as Camellia. Anyways, Josiah is Camellia's best friend's brother, although Trix, Josiah, and Camellia all attend Canada High School together, they've never caught each other's attention..., that is, until an ancestral curse took its unforgiving course, this curse bestowed both Camellia and Josiah magical powers, however Camellia was destined to murder Josiah, or she would meet her own doom...vice versa for Josiah, but what if fate had another destiny for the two young witches?
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I'm drawn in by your title. It's alluring, making me wonder at first glance what this story is about. Since embers make me think of fire, my initial thought was that there would in fact be elements of fire throughout.

The summary works fairly well, though I would like to see more introduction as opposed to an excerpt. A small quote is fine, but beyond that, readers will stumble across it inside if they choose to read on. Consider using a powerful quote in your description, and saving the rest for a detailed introduction into the world we're about to enter.

The overall plot of this story is fascinating to me. I always enjoy books about witchcraft and curses, so when the two are combined, it's especially interesting for me.

This book is written in third-person, which takes me out of it a bit. I'm a first-person sort of girl, so it took me a little bit to get into your story. Once I did, I was glad I stuck with it, though.

I have two main critiques for the storyline and writing as a whole.

First off, I know you put quite a few details about the characters into the cast section, which I admittedly had to go back and read. I generally skip cast lists, because I like seeing character descriptions in the book itself, in the traditional manner. However, I found a lack of concrete descriptions in the early chapters, and would have preferred that you slow down the pace a little bit in order to put those details in the story at a natural flow.

I did fine with the prologue, but because of the way you've used language here, some younger readers may be scared away.

{the severity ascends as the time superiority delves into a diminished fettle}

I don't mean this to be cruel at all, but the prologue makes me feel a bit like I'm reading a textbook. I think you could make this a lot more interesting, and give it a lot more flavor, if you introduce this steadily while creating a character-driven scene. Character-driven scenes are, in my experience, one of the best ways to carry information to your readers. Let one character reveal something to another, or show us what it was like when Noah won against his adversary. I definitely think that reconstructing your prologue, and writing details in instead of listing them, could take this story from fascinating to captivating.

Would I recommend this story? Yes, for readers who enjoy more difficult reads. Fantasy and teen fiction readers could get into this, if they give the story time to grow on them.

OVERALL SCORE: 86/100