renjun said with his back against the oak tree that he had grown so familiar with. jaemin's head rested in his lap while his fingers ran through his raven locks. the evening was peaceful as renjun simply enjoyed his time with the younger.

   he hummed to a melody that hadn't left his head all evening. "i love your voice," jaemin spoke suddenly, eyes opening as he looked at renjun. the shorter was totally startled and flustered by the unexpected compliment. "i thought you were asleep," he mumbled. jaemin smiled cheekily but didn't speak anymore as a silence fell over them.

   "why aren't you singing anymore?" jaemin asked, eye brows furrowed in disappointment. "now that i know you're awake," renjun playfully glared at jaemin, "i don't want to." "don't be shy, i just said that i love your voice," jaemin tried to bite back the smile on his face but failed to do so. "still," renjun feigned ignorance, "i don't feel like singing anymore." 

   the chinese knew he was being petty but he couldn't help it. jaemin chuckled at his cuteness before turning the conversation to a more serious one. he sait up and brought renjun's chin in his direction, "renjun i— i don't just want to see you during golden hour," he drawled cautiously. 

   although renjun didn't understand the urgency in his voice, he didn't interrupt to ask. jaemin seemed to think about his next words for a while before he spoke again. "i want to be able to be there for you."

   jaemin searched renjun's innocent eyes, looking for a sign of understanding that he knew he wouldn't see. "what are you talking about?" renjun pushed jaemin's hand away. "you're scaring me," he tried to laugh to ease the tension. 

   the younger too, faked a laughed, brushing his hair back with a hand. "sorry, just ignore what i said," he acted as if he never said anything and returned to his position from before with his head on renjun's lap. the brunette was unsure of what to make of the situation, but ended up deciding to listen to what jaemin said. 

    like that, as if nothing happened at all, renjun continued to run his hands through jaemin's hair.

---

   it had been another week at the hospital and renjun was informed that it two days, he would finally be released. "i can't wait," he grinned at jeno who was sitting at a chair next to his bed. through the whole time that renjun was there, jeno seemed to never leave his side.

   he was constantly there for renjun and was ready to do anything that renjun required assistance for. ever since the innocent hand holding in the car, jeno had become more affectionate with renjun. considering he figured that jeno realized the importance of his best friend in his life, renjun didn't question it and simply went along with all the skinship. 

   "i can't wait either," jeno's eyes turned to crescents as he reached for renjun's hand. the older allowed jeno to rub the back of his hand with his thumb as he tried to enjoy the feeling. something he couldn't ignore was the way he always felt like something was wrong or missing whenever jeno openly gave him affection.

   figuring that what he was thinking was ridiculous, he shook his head to clear it of those thoughts. just as he opened his mouth to speak, his psychiatrist walked in, hugging a clipboard to her chest. "good afternoon boys," she greeted with a smile. 

   the two bowed their heads in response. "i heard you were getting released soon," she turned to renjun. the chinese nodded his head enthusiastically, "i am." "congratulations," she clapped and spoke genuinely.

   after a few questions about what renjun would do after he left the hospital, she returned to her original purpose. "it's time for your weekly report," she cleared her throat, flipping through the papers attatched to her clipboard.

   jeno squeezed renjun's hand in a comforting manner. "i'm afraid it seems as if you have amnesia, but it's nothing too serious," she sugar coated his diagnosis without twisting the truth. meanwhile, renjun's heart plummeted in his chest. "what do you mean by that?" he cringed at how his voice broke but knew better than to worry about such a minor issue at the moment.

   "i can't be exactly sure of what kind of amnesia you may have, as it's too soon to tell from this information, but i have a strong hunch that something may have happened on the day you first ended up here," she explained. renjun's eyes watered up. he knew forgetting whatever happened wasn't his fault, but he felt so frusterated for not knowing about certain moments that happened in his life.

   "how could i forget something as important as that?" he hit his forehead with his fist. jeno was quick to pull his hand away and hold it tightly in his grip. "shhh, it's okay," he reassured renjun. "if i'm correct, your brain is forgetting things to protect you. whatever happened... i think it may have a caused you trauma," her words stung and only stabbed at his throbbing heart more.

   a hot tear rolled down his cheek before he even had time to process it. "please," he pleaded the psychiatrist, "help me find a solution as soon as possible. please help me remember." her eyes softened as she looked at the desperate boy. "i'll do my best," she promised. 

   with those words, she left the room and gave jeno and renjun some time to recover from the news. once the door closed, renjun couldn't stop the endless tears that fell from his eyes. "how could i forget like that?" he tugged at his hair. 

   the feeling of emptyness that he had been experiencing so much finally made sense. "it's not your fault," jeno said gently. he cupped renjun's cheeks and made the older look at him. "you did nothing wrong," he spoke with such a soft tone as he wiped at the tears that littered renjun's face.

   "all you need to do is focus on getting better and deciding what you want to eat once you get out of here," he smiled contagiously so that renjun had no choice but to smile back. the chinese pulled jeno into a hug without warning, resting his chin on the taller male's shoulder.

   "thank you," he mumbled shyly. "for what?" jeno asked, confusion laced in his tone. renjun giggled at how oblivious the other was.

"for being here for me."

-----

word count: 1086

oof... it's been a week

anyways, i hope you liked this chapter regardless. it's kind of on the sad side but at least you guys are starting to understand what's happening

it's 5:16 am and i should sleep but my playlist is too good T-T

✎ ---- dreaminghyuck⤾