This is for @-TheFandomLife- . I love their stories, thank you for inspiring me to come back. They've been in this fandom as long as I have and I hold a dear place for them in my heart. 

Ponyboy's POV

When Johnny told me that Dally had kissed him and that he was unsure of his feelings for me because of Dally I felt my world collapse. The air in my lungs felt heavy as if someone was stepping on my chest and my face burned a bright crimson color from anger and embarrassment. 

How could I have thought that Johnny could've truly ever loved me? How could I have fooled myself that much? 

I felt like I was delusional and crazy, like everything Johnny had ever done for me was a lie. Our "relationship" had started so fast and ended even faster, leaving me with a broken heart and Johnny with another lover. I was disposable and useless, just another ugly sack of fat compared to Dally who was gallant and beautiful with his sunshine colored hair and crooked smile that had the most personality in the world. 

It had been days since I left my room, unable to change my clothes or get out of bed because I felt sadness looming over my head. The white ceiling burned my eyes and the dehydration chapped my lips as my skin began to grow paler and paler with every passing day. My hair was unbrushed and unruly, going into every direction as the grease began to drench every bleach colored strand, my brown roots growing in unevenly. I knew I must've smelt like sweat and misery but I couldn't find the power within me to haul myself up for a shower anymore. 

I was weak and pathetic- I thought I could get better but the way Johnny shattered my heart with only a few sentences showed how vulnerable and naive I was. I didn't want to feel my heart beating against my chest anymore, every thump reminding me of the misery and self loathing I felt. 

I turned my head, staring at the wall that had a bunch of drawings and pictures tacked onto them. I looked into my eyes, seeing how happy I once was, the whole gang smiling with me in the middle wearing a blue birthday hat as a white cake was in front of me. I must've only been ten, but I ached for the simplicity that was my life. 

I closed my eyes, the tears welling up. The pain was too unbearable.

- 

"Hey, Ponyboy, could you wake up for me?" I heard above me, someone shaking me awake slowly. "C'mon, wake up."

My heavy eyes opened, the light burning them as they were dry. Above me stood Steve, his black hair unruly and his ocean colored eyes piercing into mine. 

"W- what?" I mumbled, turning to face him. He shook his head at me before sitting down next to me. 

"I'm going to be honest," he started, his voice soft and gentle. "The gang and I are worried about you, buddy. You haven't moved in days and nobody knows what to do anymore."

"I'm fine!" I exclaimed hoarsely, quickly trying to sit up as the aching in my back intensified, the nausea coming back. 

"You're lying to me, Pony."

"I am not!"

"Why can't you just let someone fucking care for you?" Steve yelled, suddenly snapping. I saw the fear and anger in his dark features, almost scaring me. He diverted his gaze suddenly. 

"I'm sorry for raising my voice."

"I- it's okay," I said, choking back on a sob. I felt so fragile and weak, like a China doll that would shatter into a million little pieces if it was dropped. 

"I just- I don't like seeing you like this," whispered Steve. I saw a few stray tears run down his pale face. "I k- know I've been mean. I know that! But you used to be such bright, happy k- kid and now you're miserable and- and alone."

I couldn't stand to look at Steve suddenly, my emotions overwhelming. Since when did he care for me? Since when did I ever matter to him? All the crude jokes and glares always made me feel worthless and unwanted by him, so much so that I stopped trying all together to befriend him because I thought he loathed me so much that he'd rather me be dead than bother him. 

"Please, Pony," he begged. "Please let me help you."

I looked back, watching his face twitch as more tears began to spring from his eyes. His eyes were a gorgeous shade of deep blue, almost as if you could get lost in them. With every tear that fell I could see the sincerity grow in his face. He wanted to help me. He meant that he cared. I could feel it deep in my bones, the weight of his kindness suddenly weighing in them.

"H- hey Steve?" I hiccuped. I felt my hands unclench the sheets beneath us. 

"Yeah, Pony?"

"Could you do something for me?"

"A- anything," he replied, a sound of hope ringing in his voice. 

"Could you hug me? Please, just hold me?" I begged, the words barely audible. 

Suddenly, I felt Steve's strong arms around my shoulders, pulling me in tightly as his chin rested on my head and his fingers rubbed circles into my back. The warmth of his touch lit me up inside- this was the most feeling I had had in days due to my numb state. I could feel his breathe against my forehead and his heart beat through his chest softly as he continued to hold me.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Pony."