"You can tell me anything," whispered Johnny. I whimpered.

I tried to find the words to tell him about my weight problems without scaring him off. I didn't want to seem like a monster.

I wiped my teary eyes.

"I've been having an eating problem,' I began. I tried not to choke on my words.

"You need to explain a little, Pony. I can't help you if I don't have details," stated Johnny. He reached out and squeezed my hand.

"I'm fat," I mumbled. Johnny's eyes widened. 

"No you're not! You're thinner than I am," exclaimed Johnny. I shook my head. 

"No one is going to love me if I look the way I do, Johnny," I stated. He shook his head. 

"People are going to love you no matter how much you weigh," he whispered. He bit his bottom lip.

He looked like he wanted to admit something. I wasn't sure what. His face wasn't giving it away.

He was probably going to tell me that my fears were justified, and that no one really would love me if I was fat. 

"I'm so sorry," I mumbled. His eyebrows shot up.

"What are you sorry for? You did nothing wrong," replied Johnny. I bit the inside of my cheek until it hurt.

"I'm sorry that I'm dragging you into this," I said, my voice quivering. I felt a few tears roll down my cheeks. 

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me tightly. I inhaled Johnny's scent.

He smelled like cigarettes. He also smelled like soap, like he was clean. There was also the smell of something like vanilla. 

He smelled good. 

I felt some sort of feeling grow in my stomach. I couldn't describe the feeling, but it didn't feel bad. 

He loosened his grasp on my body, but he kept one arm around my shoulder. 

"What do you do when you feel fat?" whispered Johnny. I shuddered because of his question.

"I barely eat, and sometimes I just won't all together," I mumbled, looking down. I was staring at his free hand. 

"Ponyboy! That's not good for you!" he gasped. He pulled me closer.

"It's the only thing that will work," I replied. He immediately shook his head to disagree.

"No it's not, Pony. You aren't fat at all. You're perfect. There's nothing wrong with you!" exclaimed Johnny. I tried to smile a little bit.

"Thanks, Johnny," I mumbled in response. He nodded.

"I care about you, Pony. Just tell me if you need anything," he whispered. He touched my hand again. 

"Alright. If I need to, I will," I replied. He nodded. He had a smile on his face. 

"Well, unless you need something, I'll be going," he stated, getting up. I felt something in my heart after he said he'd be leaving.

I didn't know what the feeling was.

"Johnny, where are you going?" I asked. I sounded like a child, but something in my heart told me that I needed to know.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight," he mumbled. He looked down like he was thinking. I knew that he was thinking about his dad.

"Johnny?" I asked again. I wasn't sure what to ask.

"Yeah?" he replied, looking at me softly. 

"Could you sleep with me tonight?" I questioned quietly. My heart was beating out of it's chest. I looked at his face for a reaction.

He was going to reject my request. 

Instead of doing what I expected, his lips curled into a smile. 

"Of course I can, Pony," he replied. I walked to the bed again. I scooted over. 

He pulled the covers back, and sat on the bed. He leaned over on the side, taking his converse off. 

"Are you going to wear that to sleep?" I asked, biting my lip. He was wearing his denim jacket, a t shirt, and his jeans. 

He nodded his head.

"Yeah, I forgot to bring clothes over," he stated. He seemed a bit unnerved by the question.

I immediately darted up, and went to the clothing drawer. I opened it, and dug around threw the clothes.

"Pony, what are you doing?" he asked. I hummed in response.

There were so many clothes everywhere, but I knew exactly what I wanted.

Finally, I found what I was looking for. It was a white shirt, and a pair of running shorts. I walked back over to Johnny, and handed the clothing to him.

"Here, where these to sleep," I said with a smile. His eyebrows shot up.

"No, really, it's okay. I'll just sleep in my-" he started. I cut him off.

"Please, Johnny. Do it for me, it's not a problem," I whispered, touching his arm. He just nodded.

-

I was sitting on the bed, minding my own business. Johnny hadn't changed yet because we had started talking, but he was about to.

Johnny turned around, and took his shirt and jacket off.

Almost immediately, I felt like I couldn't breathe. 

As Johnny moved, his muscles in his lower back expanded and contracted. He also had dimples at the bottom of his spine. 

I bit my lip.

Then, I looked at his arms. 

They weren't super muscular, but they were toned. They looked strong and sturdy as he put a shirt on.

I felt this weird feeling after he covered up his back and arms.

I think it was disappointment.

Why would I be disappointed if Johnny put a shirt on? I asked myself.

Next, Johnny pulled down his jeans. 

I felt my heart beat fast. 

His legs were toned too, and they matched the rest of his tanned skin. On top of that, his butt was really round.

I realized what I was thinking, and I turned away. 

I tried to look away, but it was hard.

What do these feelings mean? I asked myself. 

Probably nothing. You're just tired, I replied in my head.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Johnny spoke.

"Are you okay?" he asked. He was now fully clothes. I nodded my head.

"Yeah, I think so."

-

Johnny crawled into the bed, covering both of us with a blanket.

He snuggled closer to me.

"Goodnight, Ponyboy," he whispered. He sounded exhausted.

"Goodnight," I replied. 

I looked at his face.

The moonlight highlighted his features.

His eyelashes were long, and his hair looked soft. His cheeks looked round, and his lips looked full. He looked angelic.

I wanted to reach out and touch his face. I wanted him to touch me again, too.

What do these feelings and thoughts mean?

I fell asleep to the thoughts of vanilla, cigarettes, and soap.