Dear diary,

Each page—each story—every word—it all played out so unsettling to me.

Taehyung told stories of being so tired, but kept moving on for the sake of his members and fans.

He told stories of how happy he was when he went to visit his family, and the memories he had shared with them until now.

He mentioned the love he once shared with me. The compassion and inspiration I pushed him to keep moving forward.

Taehyung wrote about how much he missed me.

I've seen people I've never seen before, spoke languages I never spoke before, but I still miss the same girl I used to see before.

Whenever I think about love I can't help but think about her, how can I get over her?

It's impossible to think I could find her again, and I keep hoping to one day look out into the crowd; and see her face.

I miss it all. If I could,  I would go back in time to hold her hand again, hold her in my arms, and tell her how much she meant to me.

Maybe it's just something you get once in a life time, and I've ruined it.

I wish I could tell her how much I love her, but now she's gone.

It was that one page that kept me late up at night staring up at the ceiling with little emotion to feel.

How can he do this to me? I feel so guilty for doing so little to keep in contact with him, but all that is the past now. The number scripted down in the notepad had to be his. Maybe he isn't gone.

Sincerely,

Taehyung's first love