"Wish it was goodbye,

time for me to accept a few of my hands are tied."

Tinashe Cold sweat

0 6

Alia

Wednesday morning, the day after the line-up, I received a text from an unknown number.

Back 2 school party, Saturday 21:00

I raked my brain, attempting to recall if anybody had told me about a party, but I couldn't remember. In fact, I couldn't steer myself away from thinking about anything other than Adrian and the way he'd acted yesterday. His actions made me stupidly giddy, like some loved up 13 year old admiring her too old boyfriend. How could I not, though, if Adrian had been acting gloriously?

Just seeing him spurting on the field, his beautifully defined calves tensing and that wide, lopsided smirk stretched over his face, had sent me into a daze. After watching him ruminate endlessly I probably assumed he wasn't much of a sports-man, especially now that I knew how much he drank. So, seeing him on that field, the Dalton Prep jacket slung over his shoulders and his scuttle so well-executed and sharp, I realized he was not only part of the team—he was good, too.

And as if that wasn't enough, his sizzling eyes had been wide and happy, something I haven't seen too often. On top of that, the first thing he'd done afterward was kissing me. And then, we proceeded to stick to each other, our hips practically jointed. I even fed him cornflakes at Nate's house.

So what did that mean for us? Were we a 'no strings attached' thing? Or were we more? Did he like me, enough to be serious about it? Or was he looking for nothing serious, just trying to have fun?

I don't know. It confused me. It confused me even more every time I remembered I've known Adrian for five days—if you count out the times we were twelve and thirteen.

Which—somewhat—brought me back to the party. Of course, Upper East Side students are ritzy enough to do something as cliché as throwing a Back to School party. I'm not certain why I'm surprised.

Perhaps because no one knows you, other than the guys and Gigi?

Gigi and I are sitting in the back of the classroom, only half-heartedly listening to the teacher's booming and strict voice. We were going over yesterday's events, silently giggling and whispering exaggerated 'oh my God!'s, as I told her about how scandalously I had behaved. With Adrian.

"You so like him." Gigi mumbled, a mischievous grin curling her lips. I arched my brows, "Obviously?"

She squealed, accidentally gaining all the attention, including the teacher's. He frowned angrily, "Mrs. Henderson, is there a reason you're screeching in my class?"

She blushed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry."

When everybody turned back around to listen to the teacher, Gigi riveted me with big, excited eyes. "Really? I hadn't expected you to be so honest about it! I thought I'd have to pry!"

"Well, I mean, clearly I like him, otherwise I wouldn't have allowed him to kiss me. I'm not saying I'm in love with him or anything."

"Good enough for me!" She shrieked, involuntarily gaining everyone's attention again.

"Mrs. Henderson, this is the second time. You will get detention."

We were all together during lunch break. The scorching sun stood high on the sky, blinding beams gleaming the precise spot we're seated at. Whereas Tyler and Adrian are highly irritated by the bright light—both having pairs of swanky shades on the bridges of their noses—, Nate and Etienne are sprawled over the fresh, green grass, soaking up the sun as much as they possibly can with their Dalton jackets underneath their backs and the sleeves of their blouses rolled up.

Admittedly, Gigi and I are enjoying the sun, too. Our Dalton uniform lets us wear skirts so little there's no frickin' way our legs don't turn out tawny by the time we'll be forced to wear tights. She, of course, is absolutely rocking her pose on the grass, her long, competent legs draped over each other as if she's modelling.

Tyler (although he's wearing glasses, I'm not stupid) seemingly can't stop staring at her. His eyes repeatedly trail from her ankles, along her long, bare legs to the high hem of her skirt and back down. She's going to make him crazy.

My legs are stretching out before me, my upper body supported by my elbows in the grass. I have my eyes shut, warm strays of the sun verging all of my energy. If I could just stay here instead of going back to class...

And then, something feathery touches my knee and my eyes lazily flutter open, curious as to what it had been. Adrian's sturdy finger traces a soft circle on the skin of my legs, a brow raised as he faces me. He had been sitting next to Tyler earlier, which is why there hadn't been too much interaction between us, though I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to touch him. So, it surprised me that he actually left his previous spot to...touch me. Not that I was complaining.

"You do this on purpose." He commented gruffly, one of his brows still raised. I arched both of my eyebrows, unsure. "I don't know what you mean, but I don't think I do."

"Oh come on, Shorty," he breathed, his thumb going from caressing my knee to caressing the skin below my knee, "You know exactly what you're doing."

"I really don't."

"Your thighs..." he whispered, both his hands roaming my legs before halting upon reaching my thighs, firmly squeezing them, "Fucking love them." Oh, God. A surge of inappropriate emotions pulsed through me as I desperately tried to ignore them, as well as the thought that both of Adrian's hands were. On. My. Thighs.

He slid his hands back to my knees, cupping them before hooking his arms around my legs and tilting them up. "Adrian—Jesus, I'm wearing a skirt."

"I've got you, Shorty. No one saw." He snickers as he extends his legs and puts mine on top of his, his hands absentmindedly kneading my skin. "Better not. I'm not interested in flashing my, uhm, bikini-area to the entire school."

The whole group lazily tittered. Etienne momentarily pushed himself to sit up straight, his shiny curls looking messier than usual and his eyes squinting. "Not that we would mind, of course." He tipped, fixing the crumbled jacket on the grass as he looked at me with a smirk. I rolled my eyes, giving him the finger. "You're a perv, Etienne."

"Oh sweetheart, tell me something I don't know." He lied down again, his eyes closing. Adrian glanced at me, "Does he bother you? Tell me honestly."

"Yeah. Kill him." I feigned with a dramatic huff.

They all laughed again, and Nate mumbled, "If only that was possible."

Etienne drew in a sharp breath. "Nathaniel! We are supposed to be besties forever. How can you say such horrid stuff?"

Foh evah. Etienne pronounced 'forever' as 'foh evah', which was highly amusing. His British accent was a thing I thoroughly enjoyed taunting him with, though I thought it was extremely attractive from inside. Tyler chortled devilishly, "I am Etienne Clayton, and I say foh evah." He mocked, as if he had heard my thoughts.

"Tylah!" he outrageously exaggerated his accent, which caused us all to guffaw. When the laughter quieted down again, Adrian slid the sunglasses off his nose and mindlessly threw them on the grass, his big, brown eyes on mine. "I'm serious, Alia. Does he?"

So I'm Alia now? He's very serious.

"No, Adrian." I smiled, briefly squeezing his shoulder. I tried not to fixate my gaze on how dreamy he looked in the white, tight blouse, which showcases his defined arms so impeccably I was afraid I'd faint. "We're friends, he's allowed to make some stupid comments. We all know he's not serious."

"Just friends, right?"

"Yeah." I assured him, my heart stupidly thumping against my chest. Gigi sent me a meaningful glance, as if to say, see, he likes you too! Adrian nodded, the corners of his lips faintly curling. "Okay." He paused. "Good."

"I could've told you that too. Stupid." Etienne hissed.

After a short time of bickering going back and forth between the two, the subject of me having passed a long time ago, I decided to interrupt them. "Hey, guys? I had a question actually. Are you going to some party this Saturday?"

Etienne blinked twice. "Asher's party?"

"I don't know." I truthfully answered, "I just got a text."

Adrian frowned, holding out his hand. "Give me that." He said, his eyes on my phone. I obeyed and gave him my phone, patiently waiting as he compared the text to something on his own phone. "Yeah, that's Asher's number."

"So... are you going? All of you?"

"I am," Nate said. "I promised him I'd be there."

"I'm going too, although I'm quite annoyed he got to throw the first party of the year. That's my job." Etienne puffed out a breath, shaking his head. Tyler chuckled, "I'm going."

"I was waiting to see if you were going, so I guess I'm going as well. You should, Al. We can get ready together." Gigi smiled sincerely, her electric, blue eyes sparkling. I nodded, "Yeah, I'll go." It had been a while since the last time I'd gone to a high school party, and to be honest I was kind of looking forward to it.

Adrian was silent. I looked at him, his gaze on the ground and his shoulders slumped. "Are you?" I queried.

"No," he mumbled, a distant expression crossing his face. "I have something to do that night."

"Oh, okay." I was pretty disappointed. I'd hoped Asher's party would be an excuse for us to hook up again, as silly as that may sound. He looked disappointed too, with his lips pulled into that thin line and his fingers stopping with brushing my legs.

"Who is Asher anyway?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"He's on the team," Nate explained with a friendly smile. "He's a cool guy. I don't think there's anyone who doesn't like him."

"No, Nathaniel, you're confusing Asher with yourself. Everyone likes you, and I most certainly don't like him." Etienne muttered.

Nate blushed.

During my last period, I heard girls gushing over Nate. They continuously prodded how extremely handsome he was, how much they'd like to feel his abs and how badly they wanted his attention. And from Nate, the conversation steered toward Tyler—they said he was so mysterious and dark and hot it made them emotional—and then toward Etienne—who apparently was so beautiful they'd kill to go down on him, oh but, he better not have STD's—and in the end they discussed Adrian. They talked about how seriously sexy he was and how they would've been all over his penis, had Ava not been his ex.

"Like, seriously. It's so unfair she got there first." The first girl drew out.

"I know right! It's like, so annoying! Now we're not allowed to make out with him, even though he'd probably do it. Such a player." The second girl responded.

"Such a player," the second girl agreed. "But still. Very hot. I may try on Saturday. Do you think he's going to Asher's party?"

The second girl dramatically gaped. "Seriously? Ava would totally kill you. I think he's going—when has Adrian Lancaster ever not gone? He loves parties. In fact, parties love him. It wouldn't be, like, a party without him!"

The first girl smirked. "Awesome. Ava doesn't have to know."

So by the time the bell rang, I had a clear picture of how the students—especially the girls—of Dalton Prep thought of my friends. No wonder they cautiously stayed away unless they were being useful, they thought of them as Gods. I'd noticed this before, but only then did I get confirmation.

Tyler, Nate, Etienne, Gigi and I gathered after school in the parking lot. It wasn't an initial thing, we just accidentally did it. Adrian was nowhere to be found and after asking Nate, he informed me that nobody knew where he was. But then again, apparently he disappeared quite often so it was nothing to be worried about.

Somehow my mind couldn't grasp the fact that the guys didn't get concerned whenever their best friend disappeared and came back vomiting his guts out.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" Gigi chirped at all of us, her smile wide. Everybody said goodbye. "How are you going, Gi? Don't you have practice?" I wondered out loud.

As most Upper East Siders, Gigi owned a car. A brand new, overly-expensive one at that. However, something malfunctioned and now her car's being fixed, which resulted into Gigi temporarily not having transportation. As her lifelong best friend I knew her tight ballet-schedule, and if I remembered correctly, she has practice today.

"Yeah," Gigi said. "I'll just take the subway. It's fine! Gotta go, bye!" She quickly pecked my cheek and then disappeared into the masses of students, her blonde hair graciously cascading after her. I longingly sighed at the sight of the denim Valentino Garavani espadrilles on her feet, my espadrilles. She'd borrowed them a couple of weeks ago, claiming that wearing heels every day and then wearing pointe shoes afterwards for practice killed her feet, which I believed. I've seen her feet after practice. It looks horrible.

Still, I missed my espadrilles.

Alim, dad and I were lounging on the sofa after dinner, dad and I holding tall glasses with Château Margaux while Alim sipped from a beer. The flat screen television displayed reruns of Empire, and all three of us had changed into comfortable clothing, indicating that we weren't planning on going out anymore.

"I would gladly do Cookie." Alim murmured, gulping his beer. My face sharply turned to look at him, outrage lacing my features. "She's way too old for you!"

"No woman is too old for me."

"Alim, you're ridiculous. She would never want to sleep with some self-centred, snobby Arab guy." My dad said, a grin gracing his lips. Alim glared at dad, "Fine. I'll take Camilla then."

"Camilla Marks is Naomi Campbell—even I want to do her." I spoke, laughing. Dad snickered. "You both have zero chances as long as I'm in the picture."

It hadn't taken us long to end up in some pillow fight, though I had to admit that pillow fights with my brother and my father were a tad harsher than the pillow fights I used to have with Gigi. The very second a pillow jabbed the side of my face and I exaggeratedly fell to the ground, dramatically screeching, "I surrender!", the door burst open.

Standing in the door opening was Tyler, wearing jeans and a black shirt that said PVRIS in bold, white letters. His outfit looked greatly in contrast with the colourful tattoos on his right arm, albeit his face spoke volumes. His bushy brows were downed on his eyes and his lips were flattened into a tight sneer, storminess crossing his face.

"Tyler. Hey." I panted, quickly getting off the floor. My chest heaved up and down from the intense fight we'd been having, my hair probably dishevelled and oh Jesus, my pyjamas.

There was no way in hell I was interested in impressing Tyler. The point was; out of all the guys, he must be the one I least bonded with, probably because he wasn't so talkative. So, having him see me in my PJ's wasn't high on my list. Or anywhere on my list.

"Alia." I don't think I'd ever heard him say my name before. "I—I'm sorry for barging in like this." The comment was mostly directed to dad and Alim. Dad brushed it off, but Alim only narrowed his eyes at him.

"It's fine, it's okay." I breathed. My feet padded lightly on the marble floor as I made my way over to the front door, nerves pulsing through me. Surely something must've happened if Tyler was here?

Tyler had remained silent.

"Is everything okay?" I softly asked.

"I need you to drive me to Gigi's practice."

I emitted a 'huh' sound, glancing at the clock before looking back at Tyler. "She's done in ten minutes, I don't think you'd be able to see much of—"

"No," he deadpanned impatiently. "I don't have to see her practice. It's just...I—we have to go pick her up. She has no car."

"She said she'd take the subway."

Tyler pushed a slender finger against his temple, squeezing his eyes shut as he shook his head. I didn't get it, what was going on? Was this him trying to get closer to Gigi? He should know that she hated being interrupted while she was dancing. It was her safe haven.

"Are you okay?" I said this time, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. He didn't look okay.

"I need you to take me to Gigi's practice, Alia." He repeated, forcefully this time. I frowned, "But why? Are you trying to surprise her or something? I could give you the address, although you should know that she doesn't li—"

"I'm worried about her and Ben." He snapped curtly, which caused me to promptly shut my mouth. Clearly Tyler wasn't fond of Gigi's boyfriend, but I doubted there was a lot to worry about, other than that he was a judgemental bastard. He could be worse, really.

"I know you like her, Tyler, but you don't have to worry about Ben. He loves her." One thing I knew for sure was that Ben was absolutely in love with Gigi, as rude as he was.

"Alia." His way of using my name meant he was very, very serious. "I love Adrian like he's my brother, and I think I've punched him about fifty times so far for being as idiotic as he is. Saying he loves her doesn't mean shit."

"Uhm... not trying to twist your words here, but are you trying to say that Ben punches Gigi?"

Tyler looked at me with so much aggravation I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "Alright, let's go."

Before I transferred to Dalton Prep, I'd never heard about the guys. Gigi hadn't ever spoken about them in a direct way, other than the occasional 'so I was at lunch with my friends...' or, 'One of my friends always gets detention, which is why I know about...'. And I, of course, hadn't guessed that the 'friends' she spent her schooldays with were all handsome guys.

With it now being my third day attending and having spent enough time with them to consider them my friends (at least three of them), I, too, had realized that Tyler had an insane infatuation with my best friend. It was truly remarkable how he didn't back out of admitting it, of how he proudly took all of his friends' teasing and mocking. There wasn't an hour that went by without Adrian chuckling, "Who are you texting Gigi? Your boyfriend that's not Tyler?" or Etienne jeering, "Honestly, Ty, I admire your determination even though you know she doesn't want you." Even Nate liked to playfully push Tyler's buttons.

Something had happened between Tyler and Gigi. She sure as hell didn't reject all of his loving touches and flirty remarks, and in return it made it seem like she was leading him on. However, knowing my best friend, she would never do that. Etienne had confirmed it to me the other day, saying that Tyler had always crushed on Gigi, but something happened over the summer that turned it up a notch.

No one knew what. Gigi always talked around the topic and Tyler simply told his best friends he didn't want to speak about it. It downed on me that he could pretty persuasive if he desired to be. Look at me, driving us to Gigi's practice in my PJ's.

But I wasn't complaining. Tyler was talking to me. Tyler was telling me everything about what happened this summer.

"Before I say anything, you'll have to promise me not to tell anyone." He looked pained, as if only thinking about it caused him physical and mental harm. I nodded vigorously, "Of course. I promise."

Tyler sighed, staring at the road ahead of us as he began speaking. "I have a fucking huge crush on Gigi."

"You don't say."

"I've always had one. I think we became friends at the end of sophomore year, and by then I was already intrigued. I thought she was beautiful. Still do."

"I know."

Tyler shot me an irritated glare. "You have to hear everything. Stop making those fucking comments." When he established I'd shut up, he continued talking. "When she started dating Ben, I realized I was too late. I had been afraid of confessing to her that I liked her. That was my own fault. So I backed off, because she had a boyfriend, and I wouldn't want to ruin her relationship."

I nodded, letting him know that I was listening.

"I bumped into her this summer. I was about to meet Nate and she was just sitting on the damn sidewalk, soaking wet. She could barely fucking speak, that's how bad her teeth were clattering."

Immediately I felt instant guilt gnawing on me, as I recalled that I hadn't been around this summer. I'd been in Asia, backpacking with Alim. It was the first summer I hadn't spent with Gigi, but she had encouraged me to go. Especially because it was the first summer after my mom's passing—but we're not going there.

"Obviously I couldn't leave her there," He murmured, clenching his jaw. "I took her back inside and cancelled on Nate, and I helped her out of her clothes and made her take a warm bath. It wasn't like that, like I was taking advantage of her, I swear. She just needed help."

"I believe you." And I did. He looked so hung up on making sure I knew that it had to be true. Plus, Tyler didn't seem like a guy who would do that.

He puffed out a breath of relief, but instantly went back to the tenseness he'd earlier displayed. "She was so upset she couldn't even speak. Even after I'd given her fresh clothes and made her food she was too sad to utter a word. Eventually she told me she'd gotten in a fight with Ben, and he'd been 'so blinded by his rage he pushed her into the water'." Tyler growled, "Now, I'm not a professional, but I'm pretty fucking sure that's not how it works."

He pushed her into the water? In nothing flat, I felt subdued anger rushing through me, shoving my edges, ready to cross the limit. "That's definitely not how it fucking works." I snapped, my fists tightening around the steering wheel.

"Exactly. I told her that, too, but she kept saying he didn't mean to do it. Anyway, I was in no position to question her relationship, so I dropped her home soon afterwards and went to Nate's, although I was still fuming. I couldn't grasp that he'd do something like that, and that she'd actually allow it. She appeared again the next day—dry—but crying nonetheless."

"Let me guess..."

"Another fight. The thing is, they fought a lot those last weeks of junior year. I remember her telling us about it, but I never suspected them to be so... bad. She told me how controlling he was, how much he kept her from hanging out with anyone other than him. I told her that shit was unacceptable. Two days later, they broke up."

Wait, what? Gigi had broken up with Ben and I don't know?

Tyler let out a humourless chuckle. "Yeah. My reaction." Apparently my outrage was written on my face. "I was happy for her, though. She seemed to be happy too. We went on a date that evening. And the day after. And the day after that day. We were practically inseparable, and I think that by the time we went on our fourth day, we kissed. Things proceeded from there, I'll spare you the details.

I thought she was serious about it. I think she really was planning on being that, too. It's not like her to have a silly summer fling with a guy she regularly sees and hangs out with. We were friends before everything, you know. So anyway, one day after ballet, we met up at her place, and she was a mess. Crying, shuddering, you name it. Ben," he grit his teeth in distaste. "had fucked with her head, telling her how she was stupid for breaking up with him, how she'd regret it. Alia, you have no idea how much grip that guy has on her. He's emotionally draining her. He fucking—" Tyler cut himself off, a frustrated hand running through his short hair, "he fucking punched her. God, I fucking hate his guts."

My heart plummeted into my stomach, too astonished to utter a word. My best friend, my Gigi has been going through all of that, and I haven't noticed?

Tyler's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed visibly, the subject clearly difficult for him too. "Of course I went after him. Gave him some blows in the stomach, told him to back the fuck up. He whined like a little bitch. Poor Gigi was devastated for the days after, she didn't even want to go to ballet practice, which is ridiculous. She loves ballet. So I went with her every day from then on until she felt comfortable enough to go on her own.

That conniving piece of shit somehow conned his way back, messing with her head enough for her to forgive him. And then suddenly—it was over for us. That's not even the worst part, I don't care that she and I stopped seeing each other and everything, the worst part is him. Mind you, she was dating him again and still came running to me in tears. He's a fucking monster. He's brainwashed her. I think he hit her three times after that, and she still sucked up to him like the good little girlfriend she is. I've been trying to protect her as much as I can, but shit, I can't keep this secret anymore."

My lungs were jammed in my throat as I revved up the engine of the car, speeding forward. Nobody messed with my best friend, and definitely not that abusive, twirling giant.

Then, my phone rang. Tyler grabbed it and showed me the screen, which said Adrian is calling. I bit my lip, pushing my foot harder on the accelerator. "You pick up." Albeit seeing Adrian's name made butterflies erupt in my belly, I had to be there for Gigi now.

So, Tyler picked up.