85.
Hiii, hello, hiii.
Okay so I know I'm a bitch for not updating and you can all hate me but I've been so freaking occupied,.
Lots of prayers needed guys, please pray things work out in my life and I get what I want :)
Anyway, here is the chapter. It's kind of precious but also I seriously need to end this book huff.
I love Amir and Haya, they're the only ones keeping me going, plus the whole family thing is just soft and ugh whatever.
Okkk enjoy!!
Make sure to vote and comment, love you ❤️
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@Haya : ☀️
Haya x Amir
It was the white dress and the gleaming eyes that made Haya stand out like an angel in the huge hall.
He found himself staring at her on more than one occasion, just because her neckline was deeper than it was supposed to be and she looked so beautiful, his heart wanted to burst.
"I had no idea there would be so many kids."
Haya's remark made Amir snap out of his haze, as he gazed around and realised how inappropriate it was to admire his wife here, surrounded by children and people hovering over them.
"I didn't either." He softly responded, truly in awe at the grandness of the place.
When his wife had told him about the orphanage she had opened under his name, he had reckoned there would be a couple of children..living in an orphanage. He was really wrong about that.
This place was a proper house, with more than twenty four rooms and three floors. They were on the second floor now, having looked around the ground floor and the first one as well.
"And this entire floor is for the children that need care 24 hours a day. They are either too young or too emotionally traumatized."
The woman, who was giving them a tour of the orphanage stood at a distance, gazing at the children who were either asleep or playing with one of the caretakers.
Haya held in a deep breath, as her feet carried her towards the bed at the right corner. Amir, in his own haze, followed her too.
"Most of them are asleep but we did have a new entry yesterday, he just lost his mother."
The woman further added, as she saw Haya reaching towards the child who had just came in yesterday.
The Princess didn't touch the boy, neither did she say anything but face was twisted as she looked at him.
The child, with his beautiful lips and continued pout, stared back at Haya as he found her stare at him.
"What's his name?" Haya asked, eyes still staring at the beautiful boy in front of her and a longing deep within her soul.
"We don't know. She was a Syrian immigrant and fell very sick, I don't think this child was even held by the woman. They were going to send him away but there's just something about him, I made some space and brought him here."
Something about the woman's words made her breath hitch, and a weird pain engulfed her heart. She couldn't imagine any child facing such trauma,and she hadn't seen a child look so sad by just gazing in it's eyes.
She cocked her head towards the woman, only for a second because she was dying to look back at the baby.
"You did the right thing, he's beautiful." Haya breathed out, still staring.
Amir fondly stared at her, smiling a little. No matter how beautiful and how sensous this woman was, there was just something about the way that she was looking at the boy which mesmerized him.
This humanness of Haya, the kindness and passion with which she met people and actually listened to them, it was one of the most important qualities that he wanted to find in a life partner.
And he had found that in her since the moment she made a comment on his Instagram page.
"How old is he?" Haya still questioned, it was the most she had talked ever since they entered the place.
Anyone could see that the Princess felt sympathetic for the baby. Amir knew it was much more than sympathy.
She had lost a child, the baby had lost a mother. Haya could somehow connect with him, he knew.
"My good guess is that he's around a year. I know he looks younger than that but it's because he was suffering from malnutrition. He's getting better,"
Once again, the Princess glanced at Amir.
Can you imagine?
She wanted to say, but she only kept silent.
As silence took over the entire team, the woman gestured towards the other rooms on the floor.
"And when we go into the next room-,"
Haya shot her a look, making her go silent again.
"I want to stay here for a while, we'll visit the other room later." She said curtly, and the woman nodded her head with eagerness.
"Okay, of course."
When she still stood there and so did the others, Haya let out a sigh. She didn't want anyone to see the emptiness that had embraced her right away.
"We will need a little bit of privacy." She announced, and with a few murmurs..everyone ended up leaving the room.
Once they were all gone, Haya held out her finger in front of the baby..who immediately welcomed the touch and wrapped his fist around her ring finger.
Haya smiled, liking the tiny hands.
"His eyes are so sad, Amir." She whispered, but it was audible enough to the man she was speaking to.
"Life isn't fair, Haya. No child deserves to be motherless this young."
Amir replied, reading a quick dua in his head.
Ya Allah, grant him a safe home and parents who love him like he's their entire world. Ameen.
"I want to hold him but he looks so fragile." Haya further added, still in her own little haze.
The Prince didn't ask her not to, even though a part of him felt like she was connecting with the boy a little too much.
"It's okay, he won't break. You can hold him." He encouraged, asking Haya to pick him up.
Haya lifted her arms towards him, slowly taking the baby in her embrace. She knew she had heard flashes from the glass door, but she really didn't care.
On the other hand, Amir loathed this side of Buredaan. The media was allowed anywhere and everywhere. Despite Prince Yusuf's wedding banning all the media, his pictures had still been on every site, every channel and every magazine. He was sure they were going to be plastered everywhere as well.
He put his focus back on Haya, who actually had the baby in her arms and was holding him like she would hold the most precious belonging in the world.
"Hi," She murmured, smiling at the boy.
"If you had a name, I would have called you by it." Haya added, chuckling as the boy held her chain in his fist this time and had slobber coming out of his mouth.
When his eyes stared at Amir, the Prince smiled.
"Look, he's staring at you."
And when the Prince smiled, so did the little Prince. Haya's eyebrows shot up in realisation.
"Dimples, he has little dimples too." She murmured in adoration, causing Amir to chuckle at the nickname.
He was a beautiful boy, Amir gulped because his own heart had picked up it's pace.
No, they couldn't.
"You look like you should be called Ameer,"
Haya didn't know what came over her as the words came out of her mouth. Seeing the boy stare at Amir with such a fond smile, and the way Amir was constantly smiling back..she wanted to savour the moment. She wanted to name him.
"Did you just name him?" Amir questioned, despite the ache in his heart.
He couldn't believe Haya had done this. He had never told anyone, not even a soul. This was just between him and his god.
He'd never told her, he was so sure of it.
"Yeah, I did." Haya added, to which Amir let out a sigh and read more verses in his head.
"It's an extension of my own name, it's actually my name in another dialect. You know?"
It's the name that I had always wanted to give to my own child, to my own heir.
Ameer, for a Prince.
Ameerah for a Princess.
"Yeah, I know. I like it." Haya said, chuckling as she found the weird look on Amir's face.
"me too." He said, and Haya kissed the baby's head.
In that moment, Amir understood.
"Haya, don't." He firmly said, shaking his head.
Haya frowned.
"I can literally feel his bones and I can see the sadness in his eyes. It's not fair." She turned the conversation around, because she knew Amir could read her like a book.
"You see the sadness in his eyes but I see the way he lit up when you picked him up." The Prince replied, Haya raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah?"
"Mhmm, come on now. We should get going. We need to be home soon." He stated, ushering her to move along.
"Don't you want to hold him?"
Before the Prince could even respond, Haya had put the baby in Amir's arms and had put her head around his shoulder. When the Prince looked at the mirrored wall in front of him, he instantly looked away.
No, he couldn't. They couldn't
When he looked back at the baby, the tiny being was touching his beard, fascinated by the hair.
"He's magical, isn't he?" Haya mumbled, Amir took a deep, shaky breath.
"Yeah, he is." He whispered, putting the child back on the bed.
"Let's go now." He gestured Haya to move along, whose finger was once again engulfed in a tiny fist.
When Haya moved forward, the boy held a few strands of her hair.
"He doesn't want me to leave. Don't you think?" Haya questioned, Amir only shook his head.
"All children are fascinated by a woman's hair, Haya." He dismissed, even though he knew what he was seeing.
"Can I take him home?" Haya questioned, once again, surprisingly her own self.
"What?"
"Yeah, I can spend some time with him at the Palace and then we can send him back here."
Haya added quickly, even though the idea of being away from a kid she had just met was surprisingly sad.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Haya." Amir responded, seeing the way his wife had suddenly crossed her arms..like she was ready to fight.
"Why not?"
"He might get attached." The Prince added, Haya shook her head.
"He's a child, Amir. He will forget me just as quickly." She said, and her heart panged.
"Please." She insisted, picking the boy before Amir could even say yes or no.
"Okay, sure."
"I'm just worried about Haya,"
He had not really confided in Prince Shahid before, despite knowing that he was his wife's favourite brother.
It had always been his counterpart, Prince Yusuf. It was the first time that he was saying goodbye to the youngest Prince of the Buredaani Royal family that he had told him he was worried.
When he embraced the younger Prince a little distracted, Shahid had questioned if Amir was doing alright. Amir couldn't help but tell him what had been bothering him all along.
"What happened?"
Before he could even think, he found himself sitting in the calmness of Shahid's personalised garden. It was filled with the smell of fresh flowers and canvases that went from one side to the other. Everywhere he looked, he could only see beauty and art. A song had been playing when Amir had entered, which Shahid shut off instantly.
"She's acting, well, I don't know how to explain it but she grew really attached with a child at the orphanage and now I am afraid that she might ask me for something I cannot give to her."
He said, speaking his mind out. He couldn't confide about this with anyone else, not even his closest friend Khalifah.
He couldn't talk to his mother, because the women did not even know that her daughter-in-law had gone through a miscarriage. Just to protect himself from the guilt of of losing a child while he was not in good terms with his wife, he hadn't told his family about anything.
He had tried to tell them a couple of times but the uncertainty had made him stop. He knew his family. He knew the women of his family.
Yes, they would have sympathized and perhaps even shed a few tears, but after a couple of days they will have started to question his wife's ability of bearing a child in her womb. They would've started to wonder if Haya would ever have a baby, and they would've never kept anything to themselves.
He knew, so he remained silent.
When Amir looked at Shahid, the Prince did not look convinced.
"Haya has gone to thousands of orphanages and yes, she has got emotional a couple of times but are you sure? She is smart enough, she won't go on that track."
He tried to assure the man, but Amir shrugged and shook his head.
"Shahid, she has been in the room for hours now. She changed clothes of that kid herself, it's just.."
He couldn't believe that the woman who had people even get her hair to look nice had actually learned to change the clothes of a kid she had just met. It screamed attachment. It screamed vulnerability.
"Then you should go to her and tell her that it's time to leave."
Shahid advised, knowing that out of all the things he could take Haya's side on, this was not one of them.
Amir didn't need to be told twice.
When the prince entered the room, he found Haya grinning at the screen in front of her.
"Haya, yallah let's go."
Amir announced, as a woman entered the room quickly as well. Before she could even touch the child, Haya was glaring at her.
"Where?" She questioned Amir, pointing the worker to leave.
"Home. We have to go home." The Prince replied, letting out a sigh.
"Oh yeah, but look at him. This is Ameer's first animated movie with me. Look how happy he is." She stated, pointing towards the child.
If anything, the boy seemed fascinated by the moving pictures.
"He can still watch it with someone else but we need to leave now. We are already quite late."
Amir answered, standing firm. He did not want to stare at the baby, not at all.
"Can't we stay another day? I'm not in the mood to leave." She said, frowning as she leaned back again and held the child close.
"No, we can't. You know it's important to go back to Maraaish now. We've spent enough time here." He responded, causing Haya to groan out loud.
"Amir, the movie's about to end. Sit with us and then we'll leave."
She said, making space for him. When the Prince tried to be firm, she pouted and kissed the baby's head.
Amir could only shake his head, then nod.
"Alright,"
The moment he sat on one side, he smelled the scent of a child. He had experienced the same with all of his nephews and nieces.
"He smells nice, doesn't he? I made them get all the best stuff for boys," she noticed, causing Amir to nod.
"Yeah, yeah he does."
"And look, superman socks." She lifted the feet up, excitedly showing them to Amir.
Amir knew what she was doing, even if she knew about it or not.
"Haya." He said, looking at her.
"What?"
"No, okay. We can't. You can't." He firmly stated.
"Amir." She replied, as if caught in the act.
"He is not our child, you did not give birth to him and you cannot think of accepting him as your own. That is not how this works in our world."
He elaborated, Haya swallowed.
"But-" she tried to say something, anything..but he was stopping her already.
"No, Haya. The answer is no." He insisted.
"You didn't even listen to me say anything and you already made up your mind." She shot back, causing him to raise an eyebrow at her.
"You know that I can read your eyes."
He honestly said, seeing the amount of adoration and longing she already had in her eyes.
"I know that our child is supposed to be the heir to your country, I know that there's some rules no one can break, I know there's no acceptance for such a thing. Okay?"
Her heart broke with each word spelled out, she had to figure something out. She needed to.
"then why are you putting me and yourself through such misery?"
Did she not realise that him being close to a boy who was not his but still felt like his own was traumatic enough?
She named him Ameer, the name that he had been aching to give to his own heir one day.
"I just want to give him a good life. We can take him back and give him to a good family where he will be loved and, it'll be nice. Right?"
She tried, causing him to hum.
"I am sure there are good families here as well. I'd rather have you do it here." He insisted, Haya pouted.
"But what if I want to meet him when I am there?" She asked, eyes watering for some reason.
"I told you I could read your eyes, Haya." He stated, like he had lost all hope.
Haya swallowed, knowing she was about to lie to him, again.
"I promise that I will not act stubborn or try for something that isn't possible. I'll give him to a good family the moment we find one, trust me."
She pleaded, he shook his head.
"Amir."
"Haya." When she kissed the child's head one more time, he was quick to hold her face in his own hands.
"Baby, this will hurt you." He knew it, she knew it.
"It won't." She replied, taking his name one more time.
"Amir."
"Haya."
"Please." She was on the verge of tears, he couldn't see her like this.
"Okay, okay fine."
"How is it that Yusuf's favourite singer just so happens to be the woman Illyas is 'friends' with?"
She pointed out, scrolling through the pictures of the wedding that the singer had posted. She hadn't posted anything disrespectful or invaded the privacy of their family but she had posted a picture with Illyas, something that didn't sit well with Haya.
Nikita or Nikki, whoever she was, seemed like a calm and nice person but even the blind could see how madly in love she was with her brother. Haya didn't want another girl to have her heart broken by her brother, especially not a hollywood star.
Aaliyah, who was sat in front of Haya..lost in her own world barely shrugged.
The story that Illyas had told everyone, the obvious lie that even the best judges of characters couldn't see..was that Nikita Renata was Yusuf's favourite singer.
Even the Queen and the King seemed to believe it. Poor Yusuf didn't have the heart to tell them that he had only heard two of her songs, both of them being heartbreak anthems that he wasn't too much of a fan of. He barely knew the woman.
"I have no idea, not once has he mentioned that he's into pop music." Aaliyah murmured, even though the most she had talked to Yusuf since the wedding was in front of others.
"The funny thing is, he took Sara's name and called another one of his friends here before. She turned out to be a famous ballet singer, and now this one."
Subconsciously, Haya had mentioned Sara and Yusuf's wedding a few months back. Aaliyah stiffened, but Haya rolled her eyes and went back to shaking the small toy in front of the baby.
Ameer, as she told everyone to call him.
She hadn't taken him off her lap since she came and sat by Aaliyah. She was glad Amir had to attend an urgent virtual meeting. She got to spend more time with Aaliyah, something she hadn't done since the wedding.
"Oh cheer up, you got to be the wife and Sara's probably changing diapers of some brat."
Haya shot back, seeing the grumpy look on Aaliyah's face.
It wasn't that talking about Sara made her feel insecure. It just made her relive his words.
You're no better than her.
He'd said.
"And what do you do think you're doing with this one here?"
Aaliyah casually turned the conversation around, knowing that Haya would be able to read her in a moment if she even tried to take Sara or Yusuf's name.
Seeing Haya barely shrug at the words, the woman continued.
"I never expected to see you so close with someone's child." She remarked, because it was true.
They had plenty of children in the royal family and Aaliyah was sure she had heard Haya mumbled 'shoo' to atleast four of them.
She only liked some children but no one had ever seen her so infatuated with the kid like this.
"He doesn't feel like he's someone's child to me." Haya replied, inhaling his smell one more time.
Seeing the expression on Haya's face and pondering over her words, Aaliyah's face turned horrified in a single moment.
"Haya, no." She shook her head, causing Haya to take a deep sigh.
"Look, I know how it's going to work. Okay? I convinced Amir into letting us take him to Maraaish, I'll make him stay with us for a couple of days and then Amir will be convinced in the meantime, it's the perfect plan."
Haya said out loud, finally admitting to someone else that she was thinking of trying to do something like this.
Haya figured atleast Aaliyah would be supportive.
"Have you totally lost it?!"
Surprise.
"Excuse me?"
"Haya, he loves you but how much more can that man take? Do you have any idea how this entire thing is going to look like?"
She asked Haya, not understanding how she was so casually willing to gamble on her relationship one more time. Had she not just gone through an entire storm?
Amir was loving and forgiving, despite her mistakes. Did she not realise how lucky she was?
"But Aaliyah, look at him." Haya pointed towards the baby, who was actually smiling at Aaliyah.
Aaliyah smiled back, almost imagining the baby call her aunt Aaliyah, but she knew it wasn't possible. It couldn't be.
"Haya, he's beautiful. He's been through so much and it really shows. He deserves a happy life and a good family but that doesn't mean you can adopt him."
She stated, continuing when Haya only held the child tighter.
"You're the wife of a Crown Prince." She pointed out, Haya shrugged again.
"So are you now." She responded, causing Aaliyah to sigh.
"The point is that we're not even allowed surrogacy and you want to just pick up a child and give him your name?"
Her best friend argued, Haya huffed.
"Aaliyah."
"Haya, no. You can not put Amir through such misery. What will he say to the people? To his family?" She further asked, adding more and more.
"And you really think he'll have a chance to be King if you put an adopted child on his head?"
Haya knew Aaliyah's questions were valid but they were also triggering and infuriating.
She knew the consequences of something like this, but how could she look away from the sad eyes and the dimpled smile?
How could she look away from someone who she wanted to call little dimples, because of Amir? How could she look away when he looked like a Prince, sent her way?
"What? You're thinking too far ahead, Aaliyah. You're being rude as shit, for fucks sake."
She cursed, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, cursing in front of a boy you want to give your name to. Great." Aaliyah grumbled, shaking her head.
"Doesn't change the fact that you're being really annoying."
"No, I'm being right and you're not understanding." Haya gulped, looking at the baby and then at Aaliyah.
Everything seemed peaceful with a child in her arms, with this beautiful child who wasn't her blood but had the dimples like her husband and smiled despite his sad eyes.
"Haya, we are not kids anymore. You can't be stubborn all the time. You can't decide something and expect Amir to be okay with it."
At the same time, there was Aaliyah. Each and every word was bitter but it was also truthful.
"Aaliyah." Haya gulped, looking at her best friend, her sister in law.
"Haya, don't do this to that child. What happens when you have kids on your own? No royal family has adopted children before. Don't make a mockery of a child for the sake of being different and setting an example."
And then, Haya was pissed. She glared at Aaliyah.
"You think that's what this is about? Setting an example? It's not about that. For once, this is not about that. It's about the fact that I have been trying for so many months and nothing has happened, after such a hard time, I actually felt at peace when I held that child in my arms. I thought he belonged with me, despite the fact that he doesn't have the same blood as me."
She argued back, not willing to be misunderstood like that.
"Is it so wrong to want something that you believe was meant to be yours?"
She questioned, voice turning shaky but she held her ground.
"I understand the trauma you have been going through, but you cannot put Amir through a trauma for the sake of your own."
Aaliyah didn't want Haya to suffer, not after all that she'd gone through earlier, not after what she, herself was going through already.
"I know who Amir is. He'll understand." Haya was being stubborn, both of them knew that.
"Does he know what you're thinking?"
"He's Amir, he read my eyes the moment I held Ameer." Haya answered, avoiding the burn she felt within her eyes.
"And he didn't stop you?"
Aaliyah's look was enough for Haya to remain truthful.
"What do you think? I told him I'll just find him a good family but,"
She let out a deep breath, her fingers touching the soft skin of the baby's cheek.
"I lied, I just wanted to keep him with me as long as I possibly could. The idea of giving him away is making me have these weird knots in my stomach."
She tried to explain, Aaliyah nodded in understanding.
"He is not your child, Haya."
Haya knew that, she just didn't feel like accepting it.
"But what if he is?" She argued back, continuing.
"What if God is making way for me to become a mother this way because I am not supposed to birth a child?"
She pondered, causing Aaliyah to gasp.
"You really think you're going to convince Amir using this logic?" Aaliyah shot back, Haya grew pissed.
"Enough, Aaliyah. Stop fucking arguing with me."
"I'm only trying to make you understand." She defended, Haya stood up with the child in her arms.
Her arms protectively holding him against her.
"I thought you'd be the only one who would understand." Haya said back, shaking her head in disappointment.
Aaliyah stood up as well.
"I do, Haya. I really do but even if I'm supportive, it won't change the fact that this won't be acceptable," Her voice turned soft, Haya voiced out her fear in return.
"What if I can never have a child of my own?" She asked, Aaliyah shook her head.
"You will, there's nothing wrong with you."
"Surrogacy, IVF, adoption..royalty doesn't accept any of these. What if I can never get pregnant again? What will happen to us, to Amir?"
She enquired, Aaliyah smiled.
"Haya, it's only been less than two years. There's a lifetime." She comforted but both of them knew that enough time had passed by.
"There isn't and you know it." Haya said, as a matter of fact.
"And this is the solution in your eyes?"
"Yes."
"No, Haya. You can't." Haya pouted, eyes getting glossy.
"How am I supposed to let him go?"
"It's not your baby," Aaliyah stated.
"But it is."
Haya insisted, believing it deep in her heart.
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