Here y'all go.

It's almost5k words and I wanted to write more but I also wanted to give a chapter today.

Vote comment tell me what y'all think.

.......
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I know we weren't perfect

But I've never felt this way for no one..

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay..

Now that I'm gone..

Haya.

For three whole days, she had not really talked about anything with anyone. She would mostly sit up in her room or she would be with her brother Shahid. He would paint and put on some music and Haya would simply sit there, trying to forget everything tragic that had happened in the past few days.

She hadn't heard from Amir, not that she expected to hear from him anyway but still, a part of her had wished that he would regret it all and call her back.

It was the fourth day of her presence in Buredaan, and she was yet to have a talk with her father. The King wasn't present in the first two days and when he did come back, Haya really didn't want to talk to him.

What could she possibly say to him anyway? It was embarrassing. She had seen the the disapproval on his face when she told him about her decision to marry the Crown Prinve because they were culturally different. She had assured him that she knew what she was doing and there wouldn't be problems in her marriage.

Yes, he had told her that she was always welcome to come back if things didn't turn out the way she expected them to, but he was not just her father. He was also the King. He was supposed to think about his citizens just as much as his children. you are supposed to worry about the monarchy just as much as his family.

Amir's words haunted her. She couldn't believe how disgusting those words had sounded from his mouth. She always thought he was the perfect one in their relationship, the one who pious and patient, the one who didn't have any pride or arrogance but he did.

He had a pride and he was arrogant even if he didn't want to accept it. He told her he was the Crown Prince of a country that her country relied on, implying that he was the superior one in their relationship.

A while back, he had also passed derogatory comment on his own wife. He sat right in front of her brother and talked about not respecting Haya. She had forgiven his words but they would always remain embedded in her head.

She was sure that she had also said many things that might have been forgiven by him but never forgotten.

She was still trying to process everything and even understand where he was coming from but at this point, she didn't want to blame herself because she really tried to fix everything.

He was a religious person. How could he not understand the importance and value of a promise? A promise made to a parent nonetheless?

Yes, he deserved to know the truth but she didn't want to break her promise. Still, she had apologized over and over again.

She had walked back to his office and tried to fix things even after he told her that she should go back to Buredaan.

It was hard to recognise the man she loved with all of her heart. The indifference in his eyes, the brutality of his words and the way he told her he didn't want her anywhere near him, it was hurtful. It was heartbreaking.

She hadn't even been able to dwell on the other hurtful words that he had said. he told her he didn't want anything to do with her. He told her he didn't want to have a child with her, knowing that it was an insecurity for her at this point.

And how could he accused her of all the wrong things when he was the one who had told his family that they were trying for a baby? How could he?

Did he not know what kind of family he had?

When she told her mother that she wanted to have a child with Amir now, the woman was both supportive and encouraging without keeping any hope or putting any pressure on her.

With his family, it was different.

Now she understood why his mother would call every month and specifically ask for her health. It wasn't because she cared about how Haya was feeling, it was because she wanted to know whether Haya was pregnant or not.

it was humiliating to think that they thought of her as something inferior, all because she wasn't pregnant yet.

Not to mention, the kind of bullshit his step mother had said while Amir remained silent throughout. She understood that he respected the women but he also should have taken a stand for her at the right time.

What was the point of of asking her to stop when she had said all that she needed to say? It was so stupid.

Haya honestly didn't give a fuck about Maraaish or his stupid family right now, all she cared about was the fact that her man had told her to leave their home.

He didn't want to stay with her and it was the biggest slap of all.

She cared so much and it landed her in the worst kind of pit. It sucked.

Her phone buzzed, finding a text message from Aaliyah. As if if everything else wasn't fucked up enough, her best friend wasn't there when she was needed the most.

She had only called her two times, asking if Haya wanted someone to talk to.

Of course she did. This was what best friends were for, no?

And yes, Haya had said no. She had been stubborn but did Aaliyah not understand her even now? Even when she said that she wanted to be alone, she wanted her friend by her side.

So now, Aaliyah was on the island with Yusuf and texting her at the same time. She has asked Haya hours ago if she wanted to join them, as if it was a pity party.

Why didn't she invite her when she planned to go with her brother? Why now, why at the time when they were already on the island?

Haya rolled her eyes, leaving the message on seen.

Yusuf had talked to her only once, and even that was in a rush because he was getting late for a visit. He told her that the entire family was by her side but if Amir and her were having issues, she needed to solve them before the matter got our of hand.

For the first time, she felt like she was not talking to her brother but the Crown Prince of Maraaish.

And then there was Illyas. He was still not home yet and his attempts to cheer her up were quite bland and pathetic.

He asked her to come to Newyork. She told him to fuck off in return. How could a vacation solve this? For fucks sake.

Shahid was the only one she could properly count on. He didn't nag her, didn't ask her anymore questions and only painted in silence with some music in the background. It was calm, serene and actually nice.

But even Shahid wouldn't be home for the next two days. He was accompanying Uncle Hammad to Iran, leaving Haya to mope in silence.

She had tried to distract herself through different activities so far. She tried to you read but she couldn't concentrate on the words. She tried to watch a movie but she started to criticize everything. She tried to slam some people on social media but all her social media was filled with mentions of the Crown Prince of Maraaish. She had to shut it off.

She even tried to paint, which led her to angrily paint on the canvas using the brushes. The colors turned out so ugly that she threw the canvas and the painting in the pool.

She pulled her legs up on the table, ignoring the platter of food which was placed in front of her.

It was the first of Ramadan. He had literally spent the entire previous month trying to convince her to fast with him this time and now, they weren't even in the same country.

She had never experienced Ramadan in Maraaish, this month was going to be her first one in a new country. Even when she was studying abroad, she would come back home in this very month because she knew her father liked to have the entire family around for it.

Her father was punctual with his fasting, even when he didn't feel too well. Her mother was also quite impacted by the month. As children and even as teenagers, they used to fast every Friday in Ramadan. Now, she really had no idea who followed the month and who didn't.

Her good guess was that Yusuf still fasted on Fridays, Shahid tried to be regular and Illyas didn't really bother to do so.

Haya didn't remember the last time she kept a fast herself. She had planned to do it this year but now, she was not so sure.

Anyway, it didn't matter if the entire family observed the fast or not. All of them would be present at the time of Suhoor on the table, thanking God for his blessings because their father had made it a rule a long time ago.

She knew she had to go today, she just wasn't sure if she wanted to.

Her eyes gazed back at her phone, as she felt it vibrate. Haya picked the call up, knowing that she had been ignoring her friend for quite some time now.

"Hunain, hey."

She blankly greeted, answering the phone call.

"Too busy to pick up my calls yeah?"

It was banter from his end, as she let out a tired sigh. She was tired after all. Even after not really doing anything for the past few days, she still felt tired.

"I'm not, just occupied." Haya muttered, because she truly didn't know what to tell anyone at this point.

She was always so confident about her relationship in front of people that now she was embarrassed to admit how troubled her marriage was right now.

"Oh yes, it's Ramadan after all. Tell me Princess, you started to fast already?"

Her friend teased her one more time, thinking that she was in Maraaish.

"I'm in Buredaan actually, came back here." She informed, hearing a chuckle over the line.

"Why? Were you scared your husband was going to make you fast?"

She knew he was only joking but his words hit her heart. If she were still in Maraaish, she would have definitely kept a fast with Amir. It was something she had planned to do anyway. 

"Shut up, Hunain." She rolled her eyes, mumbling into the phone.

The Prince didn't understand. He had called Haya to get rid have some of his own stress and yet here she was, sounding troubled herself.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, fine. How are you?" She changed the topic around, enquiring him about his own health.

At this point, Prince Hunain knew that something was most definitely wrong.

"You're clearly not, Haya. Or else you would have asked me what was happening."

It was so unlike of Haya to not remain updated on recent world events. What ever had been happening with his own family, he was genuinely surprised that Haya hadn't even called to ask about it.

"And what is happening?" Haya asked, unknown of the reality.

Hunain let out a breath of disbelief, frowning as he spoke on the line.

"You seriously don't know?"

"No?"

"Our uncle was planning a rebellion against us, my brother caught a whiff of it and got him arrested. There's been so much drama since then."

Haya knew it was a big deal, and on the usual days she would have gasped and fished for more details but right now, she just didn't give a fuck.

"Shit, for real?" She still said, for the sake of it.

"Yes. You thrived on such drama, I thought you'd atleast call me up and get in on the gossip."

"It's not gossip, Hunain. It's your family." She reminded him, he hummed on the other end.

"Yeah but everyone's a little dramatic in my family so I don't mind."

When Haya remained quiet, the Prince's doubts were more clear than before. Something bad truly impacted and changed Haya.

"you're not even going to fish for more information? Seriously? What's wrong, Haya?"

Haya knew that she wasn't even acting like herself. She didn't have the energy to.

"It's complicated." She replied.

"Let's make it simple then?" He tried, making her scoff.

"I wish I could. It's just quite fucked up, I can't explain it."

"Need a break? You're always welcome to visit."

"Visit your already dramatic country? No thanks."

"Alright then, I might visit in a few days. Are you going to be in Buredaan till then?"

Haya wished she wouldn't be, but she had a sense that she wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.

"I don't know, I think so."

"I'll let you know, yeah? If you want to talk, you know I'm available."

She smiled, despite the ache in her heart. There were people around her who loved her, who were supportive and caring. Why the fuck did it not matter then? When had their love and support stopped being important? When had the love of one man conquered everything else?

"I know, Hunain. I'm here too if the family gets too dramatic."

"I know I know. Talk later, yeah?"

"Bye."

"Haya, your father's asking for you. Yusuf and Illyas are back already."

The Queen entered the room with an encouraging smile on her face, as she slowly walked towards her daughter and sat by her side.

Haya hadn't really opened up to her mother either. She had only ended up telling the women that Amir found out about the abortion. Even after much probing and questions from the Queen, Haya hadn't been able to answer anything.

She had quite literally walked away while her mother was asking her questions, not even bothering to turn back.

The Queen let her daughter be, she understood that Haya was upset and talking to her right now would only lead to more problems.

But now, it had been more than three days and she was tired of her daughter being coped up in either her own space or with Shahid.

Haya felt her mother sit down by her side, seeing the gentle smile on the woman's face as she informed her that King Najaf was asking for her.

Also, Illyas was back from the states and Yusuf from the island.

"Does he know?" Haya asked, referring to whether her father knew the truth or not.

The Queen shook her head.

When the King was informed that his daughter was back in the Palace, he instantly knew that something was wrong.

Haya had called him up a few days ago and told him that she was planning to fast this year, since Amir and his entire family observed Ramadan quite strictly.

She had even told the man that she didn't want to be the odd one out at the Palace in Maraaish, since they were all going to break their fasts in the Palace as per Amir's ramadan tradition. The King had only told his daughter how happy he was to hear the news.

It was surprising that Haya had returned three days before the start of the Holy month. He had been so busy that he really didn't get a chance to talk to Haya, and once he did return to the Palace, his daughter wasn't really in the mood to meet anyone.

"No, he doesn't yet. But he certainly has an idea that you wouldn't just come back here like that."

Haya nodded in acknowledgement, as she let out a sigh.

This was so damn cruel. Why was she even waiting for things to change when she was hurt and angry herself? Why was she waiting for him to initiate a conversation with her when she needed to be so mad at him that she wouldn't even want to see his face?

"He hasn't called, you know? I thought he'd call."

Her voice was barely above a whisper but her mother heard her anyway. She sounded lost and defeated. the last time the woman had heard her daughter sound so upset was when her heart was broken the very first time. Still, this was way more heartbreaking than that.

She was just a teenager at that time. She hadn't really experienced too much and her heart was fragile and sensitive.

It wasn't the same anymore. It must have taken a lot of hurt for her to sounds so vulnerable.

"Haya."

She put her hand on her daughter's back, as Haya turned her head and stared at her with a pale face.

"This isn't me, mom. I know it's not. I know I was never one of those women who'd whine that their man hasn't called but I keep on looking at my phone."

She admitted the truth out loud.

She had not stopped checking her phone for the past four days. It had rang and vibrated so many times, but there wasn't even one call which mattered.

Her heartbeat would raise every time someone would bring a phone to her. They'd inform her of who it was and Haya would shake her head in disappointment, because those calls didn't mean anything.

"You love him, that's how every woman is when she's in love." Her mother tried, she didn't want Haya to feel this way.

Yes, Haya had changed.

Yes, she had changed more than she needed to and more than she should have.

Still, telling her that she had changed would only cause more stress and more issues.

"Pathetic, whiny, upset, hurt?" Haya asked, the Queen shook her head and smiled.

"Loving, compromising, forgiving." She corrected.

Haya scoffed.

"What's the point of being all that when the other person won't even understand?"

"Haya, he's hurt too. I know what he did was wrong but you kept a truth from him."

She looked at her mother in disbelief.

"A promise!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, but a big one. He'll need some time to forgive you."

A part of her was hurt and ready to tu to call him up and ask him to take her home. A bigger part of her was hurt and angry. It was angry because they could have solved this issue. She had apologized so many times and she had literally cried in front of him but he had not budged.

Amir acted so fucking heartless, how could he act this way with her? With his Haya?

"I don't want his forgiveness. I want him to ask for mine. He hurt me like I was nothing, he told me he didn't even want to have a child with me."

Her mother didn't know this and if it weren't for her years of experience, the shocked expression would have been easily identified on her face.

"Yes, I'm hurt but I'm also fucking angry. I went after him and yet he told me he can't live with me. When I was leaving, he didn't even ask me to stay."

Her voice cracked, but she kept going on and on as her own anger fuelled her.

"Not to mention, I was defending his stupid sister who I repeatedly told not continue it with my brother and she still did, that girl hasn't even called me. His actual mother hasn't even made a phone call. This is the amount of shit they give about me."

She knew she didn't need to bitch about Suhoor. She had been isolated in her room for on whole week, but Haya had fought for Suhoor and the girl hadn't even bothered to call her.

She trusted Amir's word. If he said Suhoor would leave the room on that very day, she was sure that Suhoor would have been free on that day.

Still, there wasn't even a message to ask if Haya was doing fine.

And then there was Amir's mother. She defended her back then, was it really so hard to make a phone call now?

But then, would that even make any difference?

No. It wouldn't.

"And so help me God, if my relationship does not get fixed, I will publicly shit on his step mother's reputation."

Haya went from sounding hurt to angry to vengeful in a matter of few minutes. Her mother grew more concerned.

"Haya, you're speaking out of spite. Amir will talk to you once he calms down, hmm?"

She advised, continuing when Haya put her head in her hands and sighed.

"And don't say all of this in front of your father, he does not need more stress in his life. I think you should just tell him that you had a fight with your husband and you decided to take some time apart."

She lifted her head up and looked at the woman.

"You want me to lie?"

"Have you never lied before?"

Yes she had.

She had lied too many times but with Amir, it was different.

She hadn't lied because she wanted to. Every lie had a reason behind it and she wished he'd atleast understand that.

"Not to Dad atleast." Haya mumbled, shrugging her shoulders.

"I don't want him to worry, Haya. He's worried enough already. Yusuf knows right? That's enough."

"Yusuf doesn't know about the abortion. No one but you and Dad know."

"Then let us keep it that way."

Haya didn't nod at her mother, only shrugging again.

"I'll see what I have to say when I actually talk to Dad."

"Okay, come on then. Let's meet him."

When her daughter did not budge, the Queen looked her way and put her hand on her shoulder.

Haya leaned into her mother's comfort, feeling her heart ache all over again.

"I miss him." She admitted, as her eyes burned.

"Haya."

"I know it's so pathetic to miss him but I do. He's just special, you know?" She lifted her head up, gazing at her mother.

"We weren't talking the previous week and it was our anniversary so he didn't wish me but he plucked out some flowers from the garden and just placed them on the table, it's a tiny gesture I know but it felt so special."

The Queen cupped her daughter's face, trying to comfort her.

"He loves you and you love him. It is all going to turn out fine."

"What if it doesn't?" Haya voiced out with worry.

"You better pray and hope it does, Haya."

She was walking in the hallway, reading to go outside to find some peace. The garden was probably the most peaceful part of the palace and Haya often wandered there when she got upset. Today was no exception.

Upon hearing voices, she realised that Yusuf and Aaliyah were also standing near the door. It was clear that they were ready to go in the garden too.

She rolled her eyes, not in the mood to bump into them. It was only when she heard her own name in their conversation that she stopped, curious to what they were saying about her.

"Aaliyah, you out of all people know Haya is stubborn. She probably cursed and lashed out, a man like Amir doesn't lose his patience so often."

It was her brother.

And clearly he thought everything was her own fault.

Perfect.

"Besides, Illyas hasn't made the situation any easier for them. She's his wife, she shouldn't have hid the truth from her husband."

She heard him add further, her chest tightened.

Not only did Yusuf think that Haya was in the wrong, he also knew what she should and shouldn't have done.

He was quite like Amir in a lot of ways. How could she think her brother would understand her?

"But Amir shouldn't hold it against her, Yusuf. It wasn't her fault." Aaliyah defended, Haya smiled upon hearing her friend's voice.

Atleast Aaliyah wasn't being a bitch.

"I'm not saying it was. I'm just saying Haya should have remained patient. Did she tell you what happened?"

"No, she said she didn't want to talk about it." Haya tilted her head ahead, as both of them came in her sight.

"See. If she weren't at fault, she would have screamed and told us what had happened. We all know Haya."

Once again, she felt misunderstood. She waited for Aaliyah to defend her again, but she heard her best friend agreeing instead.

"Well yeah. She would have atleast cursed a few times." It was meant as a joke but she found nothing funny in it.

She found nothing hilarious in her pain. She felt mocked by her own friend.

"That's my sister for you. Anyway, did you like the island?"

Haya looked at the way her brother put his hand around Aaliyah's waist. It was gentle and soft, she missed Amir.

"I've been on it a thousand times before, Yusuf." Aaliyah replied, but the intensity of Yusuf's gaze caused her to look down as her cheeks burned.

"Not like that." Yusuf's voice was barely audible,

"Yeah, not like that." Haya rolled her eyes again at the shyness of her friend.

She let out a sigh, ready to walk back. It was only when her shoes clicked harder than they were supposed to that Yusuf furrowed his eyebrows as his attention snapped towards his sister.

"Haya?" She cringed, hating that she would have to talk now.

"What were you doing there?" Both Aaliyah and Yusuf were walking towards them.

"I was on a call," Haya lied, putting her phone up as a gesture.

She found her friend's hand on her arm as Aaliyah stated at her with a smile on her face. She had such a beautiful light in her eyes. For once, Aaliyah genuinely looked happy.

"You didn't respond to my messages?"

She enquired, Haya shrugged like she couldn't care less. They thought it was all her fault, that she had cursed and Amir was right to lose his patience for once.

"I was on the phone with Hunain, didn't really bother to check anyone else's texts." Haya rudely murmured, catching Aaliyah off guard.

"Oh, are you okay?"

There was genuine concern in Aaliyah's voice. It irked Haya.

"Of course. I'm Haya, remember? I'm a stubborn, heartless bitch."

Despite her initial plan to simply avoid them, she had managed to snap at her right in front of Yusuf.

Honestly, a part of Haya wanted Yusuf to jump to Aaliyah's defense. It would give her the chance to yell at the both of them.

Before anything else could even happen, she found a hand on her shoulder. Haya let out a groan, already knowing who it was.

"There you are! I thought you were still coped up in the room, Haya." Illyas remarked, greeting his sister.

She pushed his hand off her shoulder.

"Sorry to disappoint, Illyas." She stated, throwing daggers at him through her eyes.

He frowned, not understanding why Haya's anger was directed at him now.

"You alright?" Once again, she could hear the genuine concern in her brother's voice.

She wanted to lash out, again.

"Yes! I'm fine!" She almost screamed, causing Illyas to scowl at her too.

"Calm down." He suggested with an eye roll, as if everything was alright and she was just being bitter for no reason.

She had never felt so misunderstood before in her life.

She missed him.

"You, out of all the people shouldn't ask me to calm down Illyas. If it weren't for you, I probably would be back home with my husband. Instead, I'm here." She hissed, her anger visible from her face.

"You are such an irresponsible asshole. I kept on telling you that my relationship will be affected and you didn't listen."

Everyone saw her anger. No one saw her hurt.

"Haya-" His face still didn't twist in anger but in sympathy.

"Fuck off with the sympathy now! I don't need it. I don't need you, or you!"

She pointed towards Yusuf and Illyas.

"Or even you. I'm Haya. I don't need anyone."

Her gaze was towards Aaliyah this time. Before anyone could see her tears, Haya walked away.

I have been super occupied so sorry you guys.

Thoughts?