Hi guys!!! Dramatic chapter. Haya baby ughh.

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Also angsty amir and Haya have my heart. Vote and comment, tell me what y'all think.

Haya x Amir.

The Crown Prince was utterly silent and wished that he had mis heard his own mother. This was a big accusation. This was something that he did not know about, at all. He couldn't take this, it was too much.

He stared at Haya, who was looking back at him with wide eyes. she really didn't know how to explain this to him. She really didn't know how the demons of her past were coming back once again to haunt her. This was supposed to be confidential news.

"That's enough, Salma." It was the voice of Amir's mother which broke the pin drop silence.

Haya swallowed, eyes still stuck on Amir who was too quiet. She didn't know what to expect.

"Haya told Amir of her entire past when she married him. Their future is what's important." She said, even though her own heart was dropping at the idea of Haya getting an abortion done. Abortion, it was almost like a murder. An even bigger sin than adultery.

"Amir, take Haya home. We'll talk later."

She ushered her son with the gentle smile on her face, encouraging him to leave right now because it wouldn't do him any good to stay.

Haya let out a deep breath, because the woman had tried to sabotage her relationship and she was really done with the drama now. This wasn't a random comment, that vile woman had looked into her past deep enough to find something like this. Even Amir hadn't been able to find it, how did she?

Amir nodded at his mother, taking a leave. He didn't say goodbye to any one of them, murmuring for Haya to come along.

Haya tried to smile at her mother-in-law but her heart beat too fast and her panic was too much for her to even muster up a smile.

The woman squeezed her shoulder but didn't smile at her either. It was clear that Amir didn't know anything about the abortion. Haya had hid a truth like that from the man she had married. It was alot to take.

Haya stared at Suhoor's mother, the woman who Haya hadn't really respected too much but had atleast tolerated before. She was disgusting. There were no other words to describe her.

"A step mother is a step mother after all. You brought up my past to create a wedge in your son's marriage."

She said to the woman, shaking her head.

"If he still thinks you want what's best for him, he's more naive than I thought."

Haya gave her a distasteful look, ready to leave and face the consequences of her past.

As they sat in the car, he was still pretty much silent and she knew the more she allowed the silence to exist, the more trouble there would be in their relationship.

She didn't want to ask if he was alright for if he was angry at her. She didn't want to question him on anything and just simply wanted to tell him the entire story so he would understand why she hadn't said a single word about this to him.

"It happened when I was seventeen. I wasn't careful and I didn't even know that I was pregnant in the first place. My periods wouldn't be regular anyway so I didn't get my self checked and kept blaming everything on my hormonal problem."

She started to tell him, not bothering to care that there were two other people in the front seat of the car. It didn't matter.

Amir looked straight ahead with a firm expression on her face, not even bothering to turn his head around.

"I was with my father, he had to visit another city and I was with him. I fainted and he was really worried so when the doctor came and did his tests, he told my father that I was pregnant."

Haya had always tried to forget that day and some days she could forget but some days she just couldn't. It was the first time that her father had yelled at her, it was the first time he had told her that she was such a disappointment to him, it was the first time he had told her that she was a Princess but she didn't deserve to be one because of her careless attitude.

"it was the first and the last time that my father looked at me like I had committed a sin. He looked at me like I had become the biggest disappointment to him ever,"

Her father had called up the Queen, questioning her whether she knew of this. She didn't. Even Haya herself had no idea that she was pregnant.

When her father asked her who she had spent her time with and got pregnant, Haya had looked down in embarassment.

The truth was, she still did not know who it was. She was on a cruise party in monte carlo along with her friends. They were all drunk and high, doing all the things that teenagers mostly did. She had been dancing with a guy her own age throughout the night. The details of the night were blacked out, the only part she remembered was inviting him up to her room. The next morning, Aaliyah was banging at her door asking her to get ready to leave. Haya didn't even bother asking the name of the person she had slept with. She simply walked away. To this day, she was sure that the guy himself didn't know that he had spent the night with a Princess. She was glad that he didn't.

The moment she had told the King that she didn't remember, he had stormed off in anger. He came back four hours later with the doctor, which led to her getting an abortion and her father sending her back home with so much as goodbye. He didn't want to look at her right now, he had said.

"He told the doctor to get rid of the child and made me promis him that I would never say a word of this to anyone, not even my brothers. No one but my parents knew. It was a part of my life that was erased because my father was very embarrassed."

She claimed, continuing.

"He didn't talk to me for two weeks and he wouldn't even spare a glance in my direction. It was only when I told him that I would get my shit together and that I would never tell a soul about what happened when I was seventeen that he finally forgive me."

Haya didn't know how she could make him understand that she didn't hide the truth from him, she had just promised someone who was way more important to her than anyone else.

If the news of Haya getting knocked up before marriage ever leaked, it would damage her family's name to a huge extent.

"I promised my father I wouldn't tell anyone, Amir. I couldn't break the promise I made to him."

She hoped he would understand. She hoped that he wouldn't hold a grudge because she hid something because of a promise.

"You know the importance of a promise, Amir. Don't you? Would you have broken it?"

Amir shook his head, turning his head around to look at her. Haya swallowed, seeing the disgust in his eyes.

"I don't want to have a child with you, Haya."

She felt like the car had stopped moving and the earth was going to swallow her whole.

"I don't want anything to do with you, nothing."

What the fuck?

"I have never regretted marrying you. I always took pride in my decision for getting married to you so soon but today, I feel like I made a wrong decision."

Haya felt her eyes water, felt the way her legs had started to shake because his words were causing her too much pain. This wasn't happening, this really was not happening.

"How can you say that?"

"I can say a lot more but I won't, I won't say it because you're the daughter of King Najaf and the wife of Amir Bin Abdullah. I wouldn't want to insult you."

He stated, the storm within him was asking him to be violent, and the man within him was yelling at him to let her go.

"It wasn't just you who betrayed me by hiding something as big as this but your father also hid the truth from me and I won't forgive that."

Her eyes widened. How could he say it like her father was somewhat inferior to him? How could he look so arrogant while talking?

He was making it out to be a big deal, it was a big deal..yes but it had happened years ago.

"Excuse me? Who are you to forgive my father?" Haya shot back, her own patience wearing thin.

"I can tell you that I am a Crown Prince of a country that your country relies on,"

Haya stifled the gasp that was about to come out of her mouth. Was he seriously saying this?

"But right now, I'm just a husband who was wronged by his wife. I'm no one more than that."

Haya hesitantly tried to put her hand on his lap, he glared at her hard enough to put her hand away.

"I am moving to the Palace from now on. I can't stay with you."

He announced.

"Amir, please." She murmured, her eyes burning as she was realising the intensity of the situation at hand.

His fucking mother!

"Please don't leave like that, we can get through this. You can forget this."

The Crown Prince asked his men to stop the car. They did.

"We can't. In fact, I think you should go back to Buredaan."

Amir got out of the car before Haya could even take his words in. She flinched when he slammed the door, and cried when the car started to move.

It was the first time that she truly didn't want to go home.

"What are you doing here?"

First, she had felt hurt. She felt hurt because he was not even giving her the benefit of the doubt, not even understanding that it was a promise made to her father and she couldn't break it, she was hurt because he had always preached about understanding and compromise in a relationship but he hadn't shown any. She was hurt because he loved her and yet he told her to leave.

She cried on the backseat for a good ten minutes, before realising that she was angry too. She was angry at Amir and she wouldn't leave like this. How dare he act this way with her?

So here she was, storming into office without a care in the world. Amir didn't seem surprised by Haya's presence. He probably already knew, considering the way she had stormed inside his work place.

"Your minions tried to stop me but apparently they didn't know who they were dealing with. I am not some random woman that will come and go out of your life as you please."

Haya snapped at him, letting her anger take over.

Yes, she hid a big secret. But she had her reasons. She had her reasons behind it and why couldn't he just understand that?

The Crown Prince let out a sigh, not ready for this conversation. Right now, he wasn't even in the space to talk to her without making her feel unloved and he didn't want to do that. For her, everything was so random and it didn't matter but it mattered to him. She had something as big as a pregnancy from her and now she wanted him to let it go. How could he let it go?

"I am your wife, no one has ever told me to leave like that. No one."

The way he had told her to go back to Buredaan, it felt humiliating. It felt sad.

She had never been told to to leave a place where she wasn't wanted anymore. She always felt wanted, Amir made her feel differently.

When Amir didn't say anything but only stared at her with anger and indifference in his gaze, Haya couldn't help but say whatever was in her heart.

"Whatever I did before you, I was not bound to tell you but I still did. When you married me, when you chose to marry somebody like me who had everything out in the open, who was rebellious and did not give a shit about what people thought, you should have been prepared for every fucking thing."

She argued, hating that her past was the only reason they were having problems in their relationship.

"Ever since we got married, I have compromised on so many things that I never would have compromised on and it was all because I love you. It was never about creating a good image for you or for myself, it was never about trying to please someone but it was just because I loved you and I wanted to see you happy with me."

She had told him the same words before, but now they made more sense than ever. The realisation that she had changed herself for his sake and for the sake of of his love was just striking her. At the same time, she did not even regret it.

"Did I ever ask you for anything that you couldn't give to me?"

Haya questioned, seeing a silent Amir.

"I stopped wearing my favourite dresses because of you, for you. And I know it doesn't make much difference to you because they were just dresses but they represented me."

She pointed out, shaking her head.

"Do you know why everybody started to talk about me? Do you know how I got so much attention? It was never because of who I dated or which parties I attended or what I said about someone or which country I was bashing, it was because of how I looked."

She knew that it was wrong to use your beauty as a tool but as a woman, you had to use what you had to your advantage. It wasn't easy being a woman in this world.

"it was because I was a beautiful princess who wore beautiful dresses and who had a loud mouth. I was an opinionated woman in a world where royalty is filled with misogynist assholes. It was because this world responds more to beauty and glamour than it does to what you have to say."

She asserted, her voice getting louder and louder by the minute but it did not cause any change in his demeanor.

"I gave it all up, I gave everything up and I don't regret it one bit."

She stressed on the word regret because he had used the same word in a sentence where love was used.

He used love and regret in the same sentence and it broke her heart. She still wanted to fight for it, still wanted to give them a chance.

"I don't remember apologizing to anyone but my father for a very long time. You are the only man who I actually ever apologized to and lowered my ego for every single time. I did that."

It almost felt like she was telling him that he should be lucky that she apologized to him for all the mistakes that she had made. Amir hated this tone, the one filled with a superiority complex and the one which held no guilt whatsoever.

"I never asked you to apologize to me. I never demanded for any apologies or any lowering of ego. It was all you."

He finally replied, shrugging as if those apologies didn't mean anything to him.

"Yes, it was all me. I'll stand by my choices and while you told me that you regret marrying me, I do not regret marrying you at all."

Her voice cracked at the end because within the few sentences that she had spoken, her mind had taken her back to a while ago. He told her that he regretted marrying her. Could he have said anything worse than that? Ever?

"I don't," she swallowed the bile down her throat, gazing at him.

He didn't look like the Amir who stared at her like she was responsibility for every good thing in the world. He looked at her like he was a man, who didn't exactly care.

"I only regret that I let you become such a weakness of mine that even after what you said, I still came to you."

She confessed. She could have left the moment he asked her to leave. She could have sworn to never look at his face again but Amir, she just loved him so much. The thought of being away from him, of not being able to talk to him, it made her weak. It made her vulnerable. He made her vulnerable.

"I am still reaching out to you after everything you have said."

Haya stated, hoping that he would reach out to her too. She hoped that he would tell her how much he regretted his words. She hoped that he would tell her that they could fix this, she wanted the assurity that he loved her and they would remain together despite all the hurdles.

Instead, Amir said the opposite.

"Playing the victim does not suit you, Haya. You hid a truth from me at a point when we are trying to have a child, it's not something I can overlook."

He responded, staring at his wife.

"I never asked you to leave, I told you I would shift to the palace. You can stay in the house for as long as you want but I cannot have so much in my heart for you and still stay in the same roof as you."

He claimed, watching as her face twisted into a look of visible hurting. Still, Haya didn't get weak because of his words. She pretended that his words didn't hurt her.

"It's not possible." He repeated, Haya swallowed the bile down her throat.

"You did ask me to leave. You told me that I should go back home, you told me me to go back home when I've finally started to consider this place my home after a whole year."

She argued back, Amir sighed in return.

"Haya, this isn't the time and place for this discussion. I don't have anything to say to you."

He concluded, Haya didn't want to give up so soon.

"But I do." She shot back, taking a step closer in his direction.

"This is the last time I am trying to fix things between us. This is me apologizing one last time."

She professed, swallowing down her pride and trying to save her relationship.

"I am sorry that I couldn't break a promise that I made to my father and hid a big truth of my life from you."

She apologized, Amir only stared at her.

"I am sorry that you didn't know about it and you had to know it from your mother. If you felt hurt because of it, I didn't mean for you to ever feel that way because of me."

Each and every word that came out of her mouth, it sounded as genuine as it possibly could. He didn't doubt her apology, he had simply lost his trust.

Every time they were okay, something would come up and it would mostly include Haya lying to him or hiding something that could possibly hurt their relationship. How could he trust her when she would hide things from him and then simply apologize because she had apparently learned how to say sorry?

"I'm sorry that you're hurt and angry because of me. I never wanted to hurt you, Amir."

She conceded, biting her lip.

"So, are we going to move past this or should I just go back to Buredaan?"

She didn't hear anything from him for a few seconds, the battle in his head was visible on his face. Haya hoped that his heart would win, not his mind.

Amir let out a small nod.

"You can stay." His voice was soft but completely void of any emotion.

"With you?" Haya stressed, raising her eyebrows at him.

The Crown Prince shook his head.

"I think I'd rather stay at the Palace for some time."

And there it was. He did not want to move past this and he was so angry that he couldn't even stay in the same house as her, even when the house was so big that a person could get lost in it. He couldn't bear to look at her. That hurt.

"Then I don't think I have any reason to stay here."

She murmured. A part of her was so sure that he would ask her to stay and give him some time so he could move past this. She was sure that he would give in, tell her that he would stay in the house but it would take some time to be normal again.

Once again, Amir surprised her.

"You have always made your own choices, Haya. Who am I to stop you?"

If she could hear the sound of her heart breaking, this would have been the moment.

She tried so hard to hold back the tears but her hand started to shake and she knew she was just about to break down.

Still, the Princess let out a shaky nod.

"Okay." She mumbled, Amir's hard gaze landed on her face. He could see the redness, could see that she had either cried or was just about to burst out.

"I'll ask them to prepare for your departure." He said instead of telling her that he loved her and she didn't need to cry.

Haya's tearful gaze turned into a glare.

"No thank you, your highness. I'll figure it out on my own." She snapped, turning around.

She was near the door, ready to leave and yet she ached to be in his arms. All she wanted was for him to tell her that it was okay and hold her. When did she turn into such a mess?

"You know what's the most fucked up thing about this?"

She turned around, not even bothering to hide the tears and the vulnerability that was visible all over her.

"if I just hear a whisper of you telling me to stay, I would stay."

She cried, staring at him.

He felt his heart squeeze, felt his own eyes burning. He didn't want to forgive her, he didn't want her to go but he also didn't have it in him to ask her to stay.

"Haya." Amir whispered, helpless.

Her right hand covered her eyes and her body shook with the intensity of it all.

When she was crying, she hoped that he would just hold her in his arms and let her cry there.

When she looked up, there was still distance between them.

"Amir, I really love you. I don't want anything to come between us. Don't let me go."

She pleaded, because this was it. She had put all of her walls down for one man. Everything else be damned.

"You lied to me, you hurt me." Amir accused, turning his back on her because Haya's tears weren't something he was prepared for.

"And I apologised, I couldn't break a promise!" She yelled in a pained tone.

"Then accept my apologies too, Haya. I just can't forgive this."

Haya knew there was nothing more she could say to make them okay. It was done. The only thing she could tell him now, it was that she was leaving.

"Alright then, I won't be there when you go home today."

"Haya, you have to tell me what happened. Okay?"

She had only been in Buredaan for a few hours now. Everyone had been surprised upon her sudden arrival. The only person who knew that she was coming back was Illyas. He had prepared everything for her return, while staying in Newyork himself.

He had called her several times but Haya didn't really know what to tell him. This is why she had only texted him that she wanted to come home and Illyas had told her the aircraft was on the way. .

It was the only conversation she had with anyone.

Her father was not present in Buredaan currently. He was on a visit to a neighbouring country while Yusuf was in another city.

Her mother had welcomed her back with open arms and a look of concern on her face. Haya had told her that she was too tired to tell her anything for now.

Now here she was, in front of her brother Shahid with a look that screamed sadness.

Shahid didn't know what was going on with his sister, but he was quite sure that she was heartbroken right now. It wasn't every day that Haya had nothing to say to anyone.

Even Aaliyah didn't know that Haya was back.

"Mom can easily see the sadness in your eyes, Haya. So can I." Her brother said, as he sat by her side and put a hand on her shoulder.

Haya turned her head to look at him.

"You know that I listen, yeah? Whatever it is, I'm here to listen."

He tried, hoping that his sister would tell him what was going on.

Haya took a deep breath.

"Shahid, do you think I'm a bad person?"

She didn't know why she had even ask that question. She had never once asked anyone what they thought of her. She thought she was both good and bad, it only depended on the situation and the people. She had never once doubted her own personality. It was surprising for both of them.

"What? No."

He denied, no hesitation in his voice.

Haya nodded.

"You don't, right? I know I can be judgemental and I curse a lot and I interfere in other people's lives sometimes. I know I am stubborn and I have done questionable things in my past but I am not a bad person, yeah?"

She wanted assurance from him, wanted him to tell her that she wasn't bad at all. He didn't understand where she was coming from. His sister was a very confident person, probably more than anyone else he knew.

"Haya, you're not. Who said that to you?"

She shook her head again, because her brother genuinely sounded worried now.

"No one actually. I'm just wondering."

"You had a fight with Amir?"

She put her head on his shoulder, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah, you can say that."

He basically asked me to leave, told me he regretted marrying me and didn't give a fuck as I cried like a little bitch in front of him. If that's what a fight is called, then yes I fought with him.

"Does he know you're here?" She lifted her head up and gave him a dry look.

"That's a stupid question." She remarked, Shahid chuckled.

"I know."

Haya put her head back on his shoulder, he hummed.

"You don't want to talk about it then?"

She could, she could bitch and whine and cry but it would all lead to another tearful venture and refreshed broken heart. She didn't want to do that. 

"If I talk about it, I will think about it even more and my head will hurt again."

Haya whispered, Shahid didn't push her for answers.

"Would you like to watch me paint then?"

Haya lifted her head and leaned back on the couch, agreeing.

"Yes."

"Music?"

"Please."

___

Thoughts????