75.
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Surprise??
I update this way too frequently when I'm in the zone lol.
Follow my other account thatpakistanigirl it's gonna have the new stories that I write.
Add forbidden love in your libraries.
The parts that you think are missing in this story and only get a mention or so, it's because they'll be written in detail when I write Suhoor and Illyas' story.
Also, no amir slander pls. He's been the nicest guy I've ever written ok. He's justified too if you think about it.
Vote comment and tell me what y'all think.
Enjoy ❤️
Haya.
They were going back today. They had literally arrived today and they would be going back to Maraaish today as well. She was so tired, tired of the long journey, tired of the constant stress and tired of not being able to just fix shit with Amir.
Ever since Illyas had left, she hadn't been able to talk to anyone. She couldn't even eat a single bite of lunch, she knew she wouldn't be able to digest it anyway. She felt too overwhelmed.
She had taken a shower, changed, even drank a cup of coffee but nothing had made her feel any better.
The way Amir had talked about honor and respect, the way he had compared her with Suhoor in front of her brother, it had hurt her way more than she had ever expected herself to be hurt by a man. His words had stung, hard.
Still, she couldn't curse him and be done with it. She knew she was at fault. She was at fault because she had married into a family who had a completely different culture. They were conservative, traditional and more frustrating than anything. She had been warned by everyone but she had still taken the decision happily.
She loved Amir, and it had been almost a year of being married to him. She hadn't regretted it even once, not even now.
Despite their opinions, differences, thoughts, they had managed to make it work. She knew him and he knew her.
In the process of trying to protect her brother, she had hidden the truth from her husband. It wasn't right.
Amir had already let go of her lie about Hunain, he hadn't even protested against their friendship because he knew that the man was important to her as a friend. He had let it go, so she was choosing to let go of the comment he made about honor.
It hurt, ofcourse it did. Still, she let it go.
"You're angry with me. I know." She sat on the bedroom bench, since he was already sat on the edge of the bed with his head between his hands.
Amir didn't look up. His head hurt.
"I know that you think I should've said something or told you what I know but, it was not my place to tell."
She quietly said, trying to remain as calm as she could.
She couldn't forget the look that she had seen in her brother's eyes after Amir's comment. It looked like Illyas had judged her for the very first time. They had always bickered and fought, even playfully judged each other's life choices but he had never looked at her this way. He hadn't ever looked at her like 'you are my sister and I love you but how could you choose someone who would say something like that?'
She had to let it go though. She needed to.
"I just noticed things, nobody really told me. I still don't know what it was between them, I was as much in the dark as you were,"
Haya added, noticing that he still hadn't looked up. He looked exhausted too, both physically and mentally. It was supposed to be a vacation for the both of them and it had turned out to be absolutely shit.
"I knew it would impact our relationship, I warned Suhoor and I even talked to Illyas but they're adults. I couldn't have convinced them to do something they didn't want to do."
She explained, clicking her tongue when Amir didn't look at her. She put her hand on his arm and turned around.
"Amir," She murmured his name, trying to get a hold of him.
"Let's move on from this, okay? You forget that I hid it from you and I'll forget that you said something as hurtful as that,"
She negotiated, because that's how it usually worked between them. He would forget that she got angry and cursed out his country, she would forget whatever he said or did.
The Crown Prince let out a sigh, not even bothering to remove her hand from his arm. He lifted his head up but didn't look at her.
He couldn't.
"I trusted you." Amir said, looking straight ahead.
It felt his words came straight from the heart, like he was actually complaining to her.
"You hurt me." Haya replied, her tone matched his own.
This time, the Crown Prince turned his head and looked at her. She stared back.
"Does it ever occur to you that you've got the power to hurt me too?"
He began, standing up because she wasn't removing her hand from his arm.
"You hurt me, by lying and lying and lying again. This isn't the first time you have lied and betrayed my trust. I'm sure it won't be the last."
He commented, as if he hadn't expected this from her and yet she had done it before. Haya knew he was referring to the day she had lied to his face about Hunain.
"I'm sorry that I lied to you."
She apologized, because she had learned apologising to him always made the situation better. He forgave quick, and let go easily. She had learned a little about that from him.
"Sorry doesn't fix everything, Haya."
He said as a matter of fact, shaking his head at her.
"You learned that it's easy for me to forgive you so you continue on making mistakes and then say sorry. It's not that simple anymore."
He objected, Haya stood up from the bedroom bench as well.
"But I'm willing to forgive you too, Amir. You talked about not respecting me, all because my brother and your sister had a consensual relationship."
She pointed out rightly, Amir almost glared at her. Haya hated when he looked at her with anger. She felt intimidated by it because it was rare.
"This isn't a game where we balance out each other's mistakes, Haya." He cautioned, she let out a sigh.
"I don't want us to fight." She told him, hoping that he would just let it fucking go already.
She hadn't even commented a little bit on his conversation with her brother. She hadn't argued with him, even though she could have been stubborn and done that. Why couldn't he just let it go?
"You should have thought of that when you hid the truth from me, you fooled me for months and I had no idea."
He argued, disappointment coated with every word that came out of his mouth.
"I will not apologise for what I said to Illyas. How am I supposed to respect you when I don't even trust you anymore?"
For a moment, Haya stilled.
Once again, he had said the words that hurt her to the core. And the fact that he had said them with such hurt filled voice that she didn't know who to even feel sorry for.
She wanted to yell this time, wanted to snap at him and curse his country just to make him mad but she had promised Aaliyah and try to mend things with Amir. She had promised herself that she would fix things. She had to be calm.
"Because I love you, because I didn't have anything to do with what happened. I only hid the truth because I never had any confirmation that it actually happened,"
She tried to explain, only for him to look at her in disbelief.
"Really? You told me that you had a talk with Suhoor and she didn't listen to you. You're lying again." He fumed, Haya threw her hands up in exasperation.
"Amir, this is enough. I'm done with this argument." She stated, taking a step closer to him.
When he didn't move, she took a hold of his hand again and looked at him with a soft pout on her lips. It usually worked.
"There are not many people that I trust in my life, Haya. You were one of them."
He professed, swallowing the bile down his throat.
"I think you're the only person that I started to trust within the first few months because of how madly I fell in love with you. You ruined that,"
He continued when she stared at him, eyes brimming with tears because his words hurt.
She hated that it was so fucking easy for Amir to make her cry. She was never a cry baby.
"You ruined our relationship, you ruined my faith in you." He said, watching as Haya shook her head at him.
"You knew how important my sister was to me and yet you let it all happen, without ever telling me the truth. When you kept on convincing me to send Suhoor away to study, you knew that it would be easier for her to meet your brother and yet you kept quiet,"
He pointed out, joining each and every dot. Honestly, Haya hadn't even thought like that. It didn't matter though, he wouldn't believe her.
"You didn't just keep your mouth shut, Haya. You didn't just hide the truth but you helped them. You helped my sister betray me, you helped her betray our honor."
Fuck Maraaish and it's stupid honor.
"You didn't care enough to think of how it would impact our relationship, our love, our trust."
He softly murmured, removing his hand from her grip.
"How can you say that? I'm here after everything because I love you, because I care about you."
The Crown Prince looked away and Haya felt her heart ache at the way he had pulled away from her touch.
"Amir, look at me." She whispered, taking a deep breath.
She felt him move away.
"I can't look at you right now." He admitted, Haya's heart broke at his words.
"Amir." She helplessly said.
How had things got so screwed up?
"I don't want to say something hurtful, Haya. It's better if we don't talk."
He walked out of the bedroom. Haya closed the door as he left, leaning against it as the tears managed to fall out of her eyes.
"Haya,"
The constant knocking on the door caused her to wipe her tears away, as she dabbed a tissue under her eyes and re applied the concealer, hiding the redness that had appeared on her face.
The last thing she wanted was for everyone to see how the Princess was crying. She didn't want Suhoor to see how her brother had made his wife cry.
"Haya, can you open up please?" Suhoor knocked on the door again and Haya took a deep breath, opening the door with a sigh.
"Yes?" She gestured the girl to enter the room, as she closed the door again.
"He's taking me home."
Suhoor announced, looking at her like she would help and stop her from leaving. Amir would never listen to her and if she tried to say anything more, he wouldn't hesitate in saying something even more hurtful. She couldn't fight for Suhoor right now. She couldn't even fight for herself at this point.
"Haya, my mother knows. I'm pretty sure my father knows as well. I know if I go back there, they'll never let me come back here."
Suhoor further added, helpless.
"Please, can you talk to my brother? He listens to you." She pleaded, watching as her sister in law shook her head.
"Suhoor, there's no other option right now." She replied, shrugging as if nothing was in her control.
"But-"
Haya wanted to comfort the girl, even though she was still holding a bit of a grudge against her. If she had told Amir the truth on her own, things might have been different right now.
"I'll come with you, okay? I'll try my best to help you but I know for sure that Amir won't listen to me right now." She tried, speaking in a much softer tone than she had ever used on Suhoor before.
"I'm scared," The girl admitted, vulnerability laced in her voice.
"Adil's in Maraaish. He'll help you, no?"
Adil was quite different from his family. Haya expected him to support Suhoor.
"It doesn't matter how much my brother acts like he's cool, he's still exactly like my father, like Amir, Akbar and Waleed. They're all the same. They think I tarnished their honor."
She disclosed, disappointing Haya with her words. Even Adil? How the hell was he not tarnishing the family honor then?
"They call you the rebellious one, right? So you rebelled. They should've seen it coming." Haya grumbled, not understanding why an affair was made out to be such a fucking big deal.
"I know I'm a bitch for asking you to help me after all the things that I've done to you but, will you be there for me if they try to lock me up or something?"
Haya wanted to laugh. Suhoor looked so serious with her words that it was almost cute.
"They won't lock you up, Suhoor. You're exaggerating now." She chuckled, despite the ache in her heart.
Suhoor didn't even smile in return. She was scared and Haya wasn't from Maraaish, so she could never understand.
"Our home is not as free as it seems, Haya. You're lucky. If you talk to Akbar and Waleed's wives you'll know how caged they actually are,"
She pointed out, trying to give Haya a reality check.
"And Najma, she's just accepted that her life is supposed to be this way so she doesn't feel caged. We have to take permission every time we go out. We aren't allowed to go anywhere alone, it gets crazy. It's not golden."
She complained, sniffing.
"It's only golden for you because my brother loves you."
"Haya, don't you think you've been working too hard lately?"
A week had passed by. An entire fucking week. Amir had not said a single word. The only thing he had ever said to her, it was the words he had used once they landed in Maraaish.
I don't want you to go to the Palace for now. He had said. Haya told Suhoor to keep in touch over the phone, because she didn't want to argue with Amir.
After that, she had tried to talk to the man one more time. He had completely ignored her.
Haya's own ego was hurt, so she ignored him too. She never questioned him about Suhoor either or what had happened to her.
She texted the girl twice, both of the times Suhoor told her that she was fine for now. Haya was too occupied with her own drama to ask for any more information.
She knew she would go crazy at home, so she simply started to work like she had no life. She worked on everything she had been avoiding for the past few months. She didn't talk to the media or even at the constant seminars that were being held. She put her head in paperwork and research, because the more boring the work was, the more it exhausted and distracted her.
"Nadia, what is your problem exactly? When I wasn't working you said I was lacking and now that I am, you're pointing it out."
Haya grumbled, taking out another file from the damn room. Today was the worst day of all. It was her first wedding anniversary.
Amir's family wasn't huge on birthdays and anniversaries but Haya had expected Amir to do something special.
He hadn't even wished her. She waited and waited, but there was no call or message. He would leave before her and come back when she was almost asleep. It was a fucked up routine for them, the one she had always dreaded.
Her phone had been filled with calls and text messages, all of which she had ignored. Her assistant had informed her of the Queen's constant calls too, Haya had asked her to tell the woman she was busy. She couldn't talk to her mother right now, she would start crying.
"It's just, I'm worried about you. You come to work at eight in the morning and you leave at eight. It's quite the routine."
Nadia replied, looking at Haya. It had been a week only but Haya didn't look happy or excited about the work. Not at all.
"It's nothing, really. I don't mind it at all. It's been keeping me busy,"
"But you should go home today, yeah? It's your anniversary after all."
She pointed out, Haya cracked a fake smile and looked at Nadia.
"Do you have something planned?" She shrugged, checking the time. It was six twenty already.
"I'm not sure. Amir's really busy these days." She murmured, Nadia hummed in return.
"Yes, I can understand. Especially since the King is so sick,"
King Abdullah had been bed ridden for the past three days. It wasn't anything major but he was getting weaker by the day.
"But you should go, get yourself pampered for tonight. Yeah? I'll handle this and send you the list of women we're inviting for the seminar."
Nadia suggested. Haya couldn't really say that she didn't want to, or that Amir hadn't wished her. It would be humiliating.
"Okay, I'll go." She agreed, putting the files on the table instead.
"Do you want to talk to the women tomorrow? It's not very pleasant when they expect the Princess and get good old me."
Nadia chuckled as Haya shook her head.
"No, you talk to them. I'm actually enjoying the research part."
"Okay."
@Haya : one year ❤️
"Hey, who put these here?"
There were red roses on the table beside the couch, the place she spent her most time in other than her bedroom. It was her usual comfort area to relax. She would curl up on the couch with a book in her hand and a cup of coffee in the other. She was just about to sit and quite literally sob because her heart was so full and hurting. He hadn't even wished her. He couldn't let go of his grudge against her on their anniversary even.
It was only when she was about to sit that she saw the roses on the table. They didn't look too fresh, but they were tied with a black ribbon and they weren't fancy at all. Still, they looked beautiful.
Usually, the servants plucked flowers from the garden almost every day and placed them in the vases. They didn't lie on the table like this.
The woman smiled at Haya, informing her of who had put the flowers on the table.
"It's from the Prince. He picked them out from the garden this morning, for you." She added, smiling at the Princess.
Haya raised her eyebrows in surprise, not really expecting that as an answer.
Amir plucked roses from the garden for her?
A part of her felt content, like a sudden weight had been lifted off her chest. He hadn't wished her, hadn't even looked at her but atleast he thought of her. Besides, she hadn't wished him either. She had shown him her ego and pride too.
If he had done something nice, she wanted to return the gesture. She wanted the day to be memorable. It had been a whole damn year, she had to make it special.
She loved him and he loved her, the rest of the arguments and opinions, all the grudges, disappointments and lies..it all could fuck off.
"He isn't home yet, is he?" She asked, looking at the older woman who was still standing in the same place.
"No. The Prince said not to wait for him, he'll be late."
Haya shook her head, glancing at the time.
"Alright, it's seven already. We don't have time. Prepare all the dishes that Amir really likes, the traditional ones." She instructed, knowing that if there was something that could make his mood better, it was stupid Maraaish's traditional food.
"Is Bugra here?" She enquired, asking for the woman who was known for making the best desserts. Amir liked her cooking so much that he had brought her here from the Palace.
"She is,"
As Bugra arrived and greeted Haya, the Princess cut to the chase and told her what she wanted.
"Bugra, do you remember that cake you made for Amir's birthday all those months ago? Can you make one in two hours?"
She knew the timing was off and she hadn't given them much time to prepare everything but she trusted them enough to do it anyway.
"Yes, yes I can." Bugra replied eagerly nodding at Haya.
"Perfect. Quick now, get to work."
She opened her phone, quickly dialling the number of her makeup artist.
"Hello, turns out I need you both to get here fast." She ended the call and rushed upstairs, ready to take a shower and get prepared for the night.
Before entering the shower, she shot him a text with a hopeful smile on her face.
Please come home for dinner tonight. I'll wait for you ♥️
"Hi,"
He stared at her with the gaze that she hadn't seen in a while. There was a look of realisation in him and she knew why. She was wearing a dress that she had worn before, a dress that she had worn when she had told him one of her most well kept secrets. There was a meaning behind the dress, behind her look.
"Salam,"
He replied, looking around.
The dinner table was set, with candles and flowers all around the table. His favourite food was placed in between, steaming hot and begging to be eaten. It was clear that Haya had planned it all, despite their earlier argument and silent fight.
"How are you?" Haya asked, trying to make a conversation because he wasn't giving anything away.
Amir nodded.
"Alhamdullilah," He murmured, and she frowned.
This was getting fucking exhausting now.
"Okay, fine." She rolled her eyes, knowing that she would have to still try and make amends.
She hated that she was the one to try and fix things. Again. Amir always called her stubborn but he was more stubborn that he realised.
"You're still mad at me, I know. It's been a week and you've barely said a word." She complained, shaking her head at the man who was supposed to be her husband.
"You didn't even let me go to the Palace, I still didn't fight you." She pointed out, continuing when he only stared and didn't respond.
"I was so mad at you that I didn't even wish you on our anniversary, neither did you. Fine."
She gestured towards the roses fixed inside the vase, since they were the same ones that he had picked out for her.
"But then I come back home and see roses that you plucked from the garden because you wanted to wish me."
She still didn't hear him say a word. She hated it.
"So I got all of this prepared, I wanted to do something in return because I love you," she professed, letting her guard down, again.
"And I miss you, okay?" She helplessly murmured, showing him her vulnerability and weakness. Again.
Amir let out a sigh. His heart squeezed as he saw Haya look so vulnerable and visibly upset. She was getting affected by it, he knew that. She had apologized too and he had tried to not think about it all, had tried to move past it but after everything that had happened at the Palace, after all that he had heard from his parents..he just couldn't let it go.
If Haya had heard even ten percent of what Amir had to hear about her, she wouldn't even stay here. This was the reason why stopped her from going to the Palace. He didn't want her to feel insulted.
"I can't forget it, Haya. I've tried but I can't." He confessed, voice apologetic like he was sorry that he wasn't able to let it go.
He picked a flower from the vase and shrugged.
"I picked out the flowers because it's been a beautiful year, tough but beautiful." He told her, giving the flower to her with a small smile.
Haya took the rose from his hand, nodding.
It hurt knowing that he was still holding a grudge.
"I'm not asking you to forgive me or forget it, that's on you. I have tried hard enough and it's fine." She didn't feel guilty about it anymore.
She had tried her best to fix things and if it wasn't happening even now, it was not on her. This wasn't her fault.
"I just want you to forget everything for one night, let's just make tonight special." She said instead, because she knew herself.
If they didn't even make up tonight, she would remember this day for the next decade and remain bitter about it. After everything, she still hadn't forgotten that Amir hadn't wished her at twelve on her birthday. She probably wouldn't be able to forget it anytime soon.
"Amir, these days are special for me. Really special. Birthdays, anniversaries, I don't forget the dates and if good things don't happen, I always remain bitter about them. I don't want the memory of our first anniversary to be bitter."
She elaborated.
Amir knew that, he knew Haya liked to celebrate and this was the most simple celebration she had probably ever planned.
Infact, before everything had happened, Amir had actually planned to set up a little surprise for Haya.
He had planned to throw a party for her, on the roof that he had taken her to on their first date in Maraaish. It was a very special moment for them and he wanted it to be even more special. He had even talked to Aaliyah about it once, who had promised that she would fly out along with a few of her friends and be there. It had all gone down in vain when they started to try for a baby and Haya constantly felt stressed.
He changed his entire plan, thinking about celebrating their anniversary in Paris instead. After all the drama, he couldn't go along with any of his plans.
"Okay?" Haya asked him slowly, since he was still thinking.
Amir let out a deep breath. His heart was still not content enough, he didn't feel peaceful enough but he also didn't want to break her heart. She looked breathtaking and she was wearing her heart out on a sleeve. Who was he to make her feel bitter then?
"Yeah, okay. You're right. We can pause."
He agreed, taking a good look at her. Haya let out a nod too, a hesitant one.
"Happy anniversary, Haya." He wished her from a distance, Haya cocked an eyebrow at him. It felt too awkward.
"Won't even give me a hug?" She questioned, he shook his head and held out his hand.
"Come here," Her heels clicked against the floor as she took two steps forward, waiting for him to take two as well.
Amir smiled, walking towards her as he pulled her into his chest. Haya buried her face in his shirt, putting her arms around him too. It felt right, it felt peaceful. She had missed his touch and with the way he was holding him so tight, he had too.
She felt him place a kiss on the top of her head, and then pull away. He pulled out a chair for her, then sat down on the one right next to her. Haya took a deep breath, grinning at him as she served him food.
She had never really served him food before, it was a gesture from her side. He appreciated it more than she knew.
"You remember this dress?" She asked, because he hadn't really mentioned anything.
"I do," he affirmed, grinning. His dimples popped out and Haya smiled, relieved at the sight of them.
"It was the day I opened myself bare for you, and I did it again today. I put away my ego and my pride for your sake. That's how much I love you."
She told him, because he needed to know. Amir squeezed her hand and nodded, he knew.
"You know I love you, Haya. You should never doubt that."
"Then show me, because I've forgotten how it feels to be loved by you." She told him, shaking her head at him because she was thinking of the past week.
"I've drowned myself in work so that I come home exhausted and don't have to stay up all night, just to think about the last time we even held hands."
She added. They had been intimate almost every single night, especially after they decided to have a child. Now all of a sudden, they were on the opposite ends of the bed not even willing to look in each other's direction.
"You literally turn your back on me when you sleep, Amir. You punished me too much. It's not fair."
She knew they had paused, knew that she was the one who convinced him to make better and new memories but somehow, she found herself complaining.
"She's my sister, Haya. My sister." He insisted, Haya frowned at the firmness of his voice.
"Are we really going to go through this again?"
He wanted to say that she was the one who started it but chose to remain quiet instead.
Amir shook his head at her.
"No, we aren't. We'll have a nice dinner and we'll talk, we'll pause for the day. It shouldn't be a bad memory."
He murmured, taking a sip of the raspberry mint lemonade.
"You look beautiful, you always do." He complimented, hoping to see the shine in her eyes.
Haya looked and him and smiled.
"Thank you."
There was no shine but there definitely was love.
"I don't want to wake up and have you not even look at me again."
She felt the way he had started to distance himself after the dinner, as if he was thinking about everything all over again.
After the wonderful dinner, she really thought that he would just let it go and they would be back to being how they usually were. She was wrong.
"Haya." Amir tried, too exhausted for an argument.
"It's enough, Amir. It's really enough. I can't take it anymore." She snapped, because now she felt angry.
After all those gazes filled with love, he was going to shut her out again? What the fuck? Was he seriously doing this right now?
"Do you want me to apologise again? I will, okay? I will." She loudly said, glaring at him in anger and with hurt.
Amir let out a sigh, shaking his head at her.
"No, it's not that." He murmured but Haya was far too hurt to listen to him.
"I know I broke your trust and you're hurt but I never intended for it to happen. I love you, I'm still here fighting for us. Does that not mean something?!"
She exclaimed, shaking him by the shoulder.
"Tell me!" She pushed him this time, he grabbed a hold of her hand.
He wasn't angry at her, he wasn't trying to act distant. After the way Haya had fought for them, the way she had tried to fix things and even apologised again and again, he absolutely felt guilty for the words he had used in the library that day. They were wrong and disgusting.
His anger had taken the worst out of him. It wasn't right.
"I'm sorry," he apologised softly and Haya frowned.
She expected a lecture on how she had hid the truth and he wasn't willing to let it go. Instead, she received an apology.
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry for what I said to Illyas that day. You're my wife, you're my woman. I respect you. I always will." He apologized properly, hoping that Haya would forgive him too.
Haya stayed silent for a moment, because she remembered how had told her he just a week ago that he didn't need to apologise. It was only now that he had realised the intensity of his words.
Well, better late than never.
"It's okay. I forgive you." She said, staring up at him.
She didn't remember any single time where she had shown such compromise in any relationship. She didn't remember a single time where she had forgiven someone even before they had apologized. This man had fucking turned her life around and changed her in a way that she had never expected anyone to. He had moulded her into a person that she never thought she could even be. She was still Haya, but a different version of herself. She wasn't sure if she liked that or not.
Amir cupped her face, coming near her.
"Thank you," He said feeling her lean into his touch. "I forgive you too." He added, nodding at his woman.
He missed her. He needed her. There was no other way to put it. They hadn't talked for a week and it was more than enough.
"Yeah?"
"I have to, don't I?"
She hummed, glad that he had finally let it go.
"Yeah. Can you kiss me now?"
He grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"What about the cake?"
He asked over her lips, gesturing towards the cake that was present on the table.
"Fuck the cake." She whispered, eyes shining with playfulness this time.
"Haya, astaghfirullah."
"Thank God."
Haya was glad that nothing had really changed.
Even though it had.
__
Thoughts?
Oh and drama coming up again so 👀
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