.

Haya.

I knocked at the prayer room door, knowing that my father would be inside at this time. I had originally decided to talk to him tonight, but my restlessness had got the best out of me and my feet had dragged me to this very moment. I could not delay this conversation anymore. My father had to know and I was hoping that he would be as supportive as usually was.

I knocked to eyes before poking my head inside the prayer room, finding my father sat on the floor in the middle, praying with both his hands joined.

"Father, can I come in?" I asked, hearing him look up at me in surprise.

He nodded, ushering me inside as he still sat on the floor.

"Ofcourse, Haya. Isn't it too early for you?" He enquired, I hummed.

This was the time that I usually slept at, not the time when I woke up. My father, however was devoted to his prayers and hardly managed to skip any.

"I know that you wake up for fajr." I mumbled, standing in the middle of the room.

The entire room was decorated with Quranic verses and paintings, a few mirrors hung around the walls, the floor was carpeted and tidy.

It was my father's private room. He used to read the holy book in this very room with me sprawled across his lap as a child. It used to be our time.

"Mother's asleep, I suppose?" I enquired, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, sit." He pointed at me, asking me to sit.

I didn't like the choice of my clothes at that time. I hadn't really given them much thought. Frankly, I had simply climbed out of my bed and arrived here.

Still, as I sat on the floor in front of my father, I didn't like my naked legs against the carpet. My father didn't comment or say anything, he just smiled at me.

"You have been avoiding me." He stated, I shook my head in denial even though it was true.

"I haven't."

"It's been a week since I last saw you properly, Haya." He complained.

I loved that about my father. No matter how busy he got, he knew that he had a daughter and sons and a wife. He knew that he had to talk to them and make sure that they were okay. It was one of his very best traits.

"I needed to think a few things through before coming to you." I told him honestly this time, looking at him.

"Have you thought them properly now?" He asked.

I still hadn't.

I had so many questions and concerns but I knew Amir cared about me and I believed in his word, I knew I cared about Amir and I could actually be happy with him. That's all I was trying to focus on right now.

"Yes, dad. I have. I want to tell you something very important." I started off, swallowing.

I wasn't scared that he would say no or not agree, he probably would. I was just afraid that he would think less of me. It didn't make much sense to me about why I thought in such a way but I did.

"I'm listening." My father waited for me to speak.

"You've always let me make my decisions and some of them haven't been right, but you have still supported me and let me find my way." I told him, feeling the quickened pulse of mine.

"Yes, Haya. That's what being an adult means, right?"

I nodded, thinking about the right words to use. As he saw me ponder and hesitate, my father put his hand on my lap.

"Haya, tell me. Is everything alright?" He enquired, concerned.

"I don't want you think any less of me." I couldn't help but blurt out.

He stared at me, a very calm expression on his face.

"Did you make a mistake that can not be redeemed?" He interrogated, basically asking me what shit I had done now.

He probably thought I got pregnant by mistake or something.

"No, it's not like that." I mumbled, knowing that I had to just say the entire thing and let my father perceive it.

He would always understand me anyway. It didn't matter if the words I used were right or wrong. I wasn't a poet, I was a human being.

"I have been friends with Prince Amir for a while now, I think you know that we're in contact." I started off yet again, hoping that I wouldn't screw up my words.

I hated not looking confident in front of people but my father mattered to me, it mattered what he thought about me and that is why I felt vulnerable right now.

"Crown Prince Amir of Maraaish?" He questioned, making sure he had heard me right.

"Yes,"

My father nodded then, speaking up.

"I know that he showed you around Maraaish and you met him again in DC at the event. Is there more to this?"

He enquired, still looking very much calm and willing to hear everything first. He never made assumptions, neither did he judge someone based on half knowledge.

"Dad, he's a good man..right? You agree to that." I fumbled out in nervousness, my father let out an exhale.

"Haya. What did you do?" He asked, wondering what the hell I had done that I was so nervous about it.

I understood that.

He had always read about me having casual affairs, attending parties, speaking without any fear, calling people out on their bullshit, not being so very proper with my words. He never would have guessed that I would come to him and talk about something like marriage.

"I didn't, we didn't."

I didn't sleep with him.

I didn't insult him.

I didn't call out his country's laws.

I didn't say anything about his father's policies.

I didn't turn my difference of opinion into an argument and caused an issue.

"He asked me to marry him and I wanted to let you know that I like him and I do want to accept his proposal. I wanted to tell you but I was not sure of anything on my own and-" I kept talking and talking, it was only when I felt the squeeze of his hand on my lap that I stopped, looking up at him.

The expression on his face was unreadable.

"Does King Abdullah know?" He asked me.

There were so many other questions that he could have asked but he only asked this one. He did it because he wasn't sure that a man like King Abdullah would want me as his daughter in law. He was a conservative man but from what I had heard, his father was very supportive too. Just not too public about it.

"Amir's waiting for your approval so he can talk to his father and then the King will talk to you." I told my dad, he blinked and looked away.

I didn't know whether he was angry, disappointed, disapproving or just plain unsupportive.

"Are you mad at me?" I questioned.

"I don't know." My father replied honestly.

I put my hand on his, that was already placed on my lap.

"Dad, don't be mad at me. I didn't do anything wrong with him, I promise you." I tried to assure him but my father shook his head, telling me that he trusted me completely but he wasn't really understanding all of it.

"How long have you known him for?"

"I have been in touch with him for a few months."

"You're infatuated, I understand that."

He stated. It wasn't infatuation. I wish it was, but it wasn't. I knew the difference between infatuation and deeper feelings.

"Are you saying you don't accept?" I asked, feigning hurt.

"Amir comes from a culture that you will never fit in." He didn't even try to sugar coat it and his voice was filled with worry for me.

"I know that, I get that. But he knows that as well." I mumbled, he clicked his tongue.

"Men in Maraaish marry more than one woman, they don't want women ordering around and doing jobs, they're very different. Do you know what you want to get into, Haya?" He enquired sharply, narrowing his eyes at me.

His tone was firm, his face was turned up into a frown but there wasn't any disappointment. I was glad.

"I had all these concerns as well and Amir has been very supportive about everything. He won't, he won't change me." I told my father, standing up as he stood up as well.

He folded his prayer mat, humbly like a normal human being. He was not a King in this room when he was all alone. I felt like I had disturbed his talk with God.

"Dad, please. I really like him,." I pleaded, he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Does your mother know?" He asked.

"She talked to Amir. She was waiting for me to tell you so she could talk to you."

I knew my mother wouldn't really get into trouble because of that but I still felt the need to defend her.

"Look in the mirror behind." My father ordered, turning me around.

I looked at myself, at my hair sprawled all over, at my shorts and top, at my naked legs and feet.

"Look at your clothes and tell me you want to marry the Prince who has a very simple view of halal and haraam."

He calmly stated, his voice held no judgement for my clothes or for Amir. He just showed me how poles apart we were, something that I already knew.

"I know we're different and I know that life there is very hard for someone like me but I'll have Amir and dad, I haven't felt as happy with anyone as I feel with him." I said to my father, turning around and facing him with a pout, like I was still a sixteen year old.

"Please, father. Please don't say no." I pleaded once again and my father shook his head at me, sighing.

"I've always let you make your decisions, Haya. I'm not going to say no if you want something as pure as marriage."

I perked up, staring at him with a much relaxed posture.

"God knows I'm proud of you for choosing someone like Amir. He will be good for you but you're my high spirited, open mouthed daughter. Will he accept you as you are?"

He worried for me, about me. My heart always felt so big because I was privileged enough to have my father's support. I knew not alot of people in my world could relate to that. Even Uncle Hamad hated Aaliya's guts.

"He already accepts me as I am. I haven't lied to him about things that matter and he has accepted me because he wants me." I told my father with sheer confidence but even I knew that he was damn right about everything.

Saying and actually doing things were very different. While I did trust Amir, he couldn't change an entire country because of me.

But still, I wanted to be positive now and trust in all of it.

"You always told me that you'll never settle for some rich businessman. I never thought you'd go and find a Crown Prince for yourself."

He said with a soft laugh, patting my cheek gently. I smiled at him.

"If you have thought enough about this, I'll be happy to talk to King Abdullah when he calls."

"Okay, thank you."

"Prince Amir arrives tomorrow. You told me at the very last moment." He further added, I nodded.

"Yeah, I just wanted to think."

He understood my dilemma yet again, picking up the Holy Book that was placed on the top shelf.

He sat on the wide sofa, and I knew it was his time to pray again. I walked towards the door but bit my lip as I felt like the conversation was still very incomplete.

"If I tell you that I really want to marry him but I'm also very scared, what will you say?" I questioned, opening the door but still staring at my father.

He looked up at me.

"I will say that every relationship is a risk. Yours won't just be between two people but two countries. Regardless of that, your father and your family will always be here for you."

I felt my eyes burn because I would be leaving this man for the sake of a man that I was falling for.

"That's all I needed to hear."

I whispered, walking out of the room with a relived heart but a few more thoughts.

I couldn't really control my sort of excitement and relief so I didn't hesitate in calling Amir the moment I entered my room.

The phone rang for a few seconds before he picked it up and instead of hearing his usual salaam, I greeted him.

"Rise and shine, sleepy head." It was around six in Maraaish right now, which meant that I had probably woken him up.

I didn't hear his response for another second and contemplated whether he was still asleep or not. I was about to take his name when I heard a deep exhale and then a feminine voice greeting me.

"As-salamu alaykum."

My eyes widened. I didn't know who it was but it was definitely someone important who had picked up Amir's phone. No one could actually have a hold of a Crown Prince's personal phone so easily.

I figured it was someone from his family, maybe one of his sisters or mother.

"Wa-alaykum assalam." I greeted back instead of saying hello, only to cast a good impression.

"Who is this?" I added further, asking who the person was in my most polite voice.

"Hello Haya. I'm Amir's mother, Azeezah." The woman introduced herself and I knew that Prince Amir was going to get an earful for making me talk to his mother like that, without any preparation.

"Hello. How are you?" I questioned, sitting down on my bed.

"Alhamdullilah. I'm very well. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing just fine. Thank you."

"I'm sure you are wondering what I am doing with Amir's phone and why I'm the one talking to you, yes?"

She was quite well spoken and confident, with an accent that was very calm on the ears.

"Yes." I replied honestly, she let out a soft chuckle.

"Well, my son wanted to tell you first and he was just about to call you but then your name flashed across the screen and I thought it was fate. Don't you think?"

I hardly believed in fate, I was more of a coincidence person.

"A coincidence, perhaps." I mumbled, she hummed in agreement.

"Perhaps."

"Is Amir around you?"

I enquired, knowing that I had to talk to his mother one way or the other. I could try to be more open and more, myself really.

"Not anymore." His mother answered.

"Good. He didn't tell me the details of his talk with my mother so I want to do the same to him." I said with a small laugh, hearing her laugh along with me.

"He's not of a curious nature but you can certainly tick him off."

She replied. I didn't know how much Amir had told her about me and what exactly he had said to her. We had hardly ever talked too much about his mother.

"Amir told me about you two weeks ago and I simply wanted to talk to you ever since. The Internet and television aren't enough to provide me with the reality."

She told me something that was already on my mind.

"What did the internet tell you about me?" I questioned, knowing that not everything on the Internet was true about me, and not everyone had the right thing to say.

"I'm sure you know that. What you want to ask me is what I think about it, right?"

She seemed like quite a wise woman.

"And what do you think?"

"I think we need more of your words out there in the world."

Her answer made me eyes raise in a pleasant surprise. As I didn't speak, she started to talk again.

"Haya, you have a beautiful name and a very beautiful face. I don't know you as a person but I do know that my son has always seen the right in people. I understand that you must be conflicted right now."

I understood where Amir got his charm from, his mother had raised him with her own values. She sounded so much like her son right now.

"I am." I affirmed.

"Our culture, traditions, values are very different but what is same is the love that we share. The love that I see in my son's eyes for you should be enough for you to take comfort and not be conflicted."

She explained to me, easing my worries.

"Allah will guide you, Haya. You will pave your own path. We do not believe in enforcing our values on anyone."

I didn't know if Amir had told her about my conflict or if she had realised them on her own but it felt nice to hear her say all of it to me.

"Has Amir said anything to you about my conflict and concerns?" I pondered out loud.

"No. He's quite secretive when it comes to you but I've researched quite alot on you." She answered without any hesitation.

"It will be our pleasure to have you in our family. You will be cherished and protected, I assure you of that."

She was being too kind. I didn't want to think of her kindness as fake because she sounded genuine.

"Thank you. I don't have any concerns about my safety," I reassured.

"Good, that's good. I will see you soon, inshaAllah."

"Yes, inshaAllah." I repeated, ready to mumble a goodbye and hang up the phone as I felt like there was no more conversation left.

"And Haya?" She called my name again as I was just about to hang up with a goodbye.,

"Yes?"

"Just because a woman covers up, it does not mean that she is being oppressed. Clothes do not define how empowered a woman is, correct?"

She was referring to a conference last week where I had said that alot of women were oppressed into covering up. I wanted to argue that I had been right. Not everyone chose to cover up. Some women were forced into doing so which made their relationship with God, not so real. I had been very right about that.

"Yes. Several women willingly choose to do so and that is very empowering. It was very nice to talk to you."

I phrased my words, not totally agreeing with her but agreeing with a certain statement of hers.

If a woman choose to cover her body or not, it was empowering and Liberal. If a woman was oppressed into covering up or taking off her clothes, it was not so much of that. It was plain oppression and I stood completely against it.

Every woman had the right to choose for herself what she deemed right. As long as it was ethical and not hurting anyone.

"And talking about my own path, I am sure that if I am to marry your son..I will do my very best to accept the values that do not clash with my ideology and my values." I further added, very politely so.

"That's good, Haya. Take care of yourself.." I smiled.

"You too, thank you."

I ended the phone call and let out a huge sigh of relief.

@Haya : 'Understand this much: whatever you love and look for, you are.' - Rumi.

_______________________________________

Amir.
I hope my mother didn't catch you off guard.

Haya.
Not at all. She was lovely.

Amir.
Yes, she is. Any details?

Haya.
Not a chance, Prince.

Amir.
I might get them out of you tomorrow.

Haya.
You can try. Your mouth dries the moment you come an inch close to me.

Amir.
Does it now?

Haya.
Yes.

Amir.
❤️

Haya.
I talked to my father.

Amir.
How did it go?

Haya.
Quite well. He was concerned but he understood.

Amir.
Mine as well. He will call King Najaf today.

Haya.
Seriously? Too early, no?

Amir.
I didn't want to sit in front of your father tomorrow and not be a hundred percent sure about the marriage.

Haya.
Okay.

Haya.
Amir, is it okay to feel nervous?

Amir.
Perfectly okay, Haya. I'm nervous as well.

Haya.
What are you nervous about?

Amir.
About the fact that I'll be discussing you (my soon to be wife) with your father tomorrow.

Haya.
I thought this was an official visit, Prince.

Amir.
It might have got a little personal, Princess.

Haya.
Good kind of personal though, right?

Amir.
Right.

Haya.
😘

Amir.
Haram, Haya.

Haya.
Virtual kisses aren't haram, Prince.

Amir.
We'll just have to agree to disagree. I'll see you tomorrow.

Haya.
I'll wait❤️

_______________________________________

Thoughts??