.

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@Haya : Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript oƒ a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you are already that." ― Rumi,

Haya.

Aaliya gasped, her eyes widening as I told her the details.

"And then?"

"I was a little uncomfortable at the thought of marriage, I mean, it's marriage.." I told her next, frowning just a little as I thought about what Prince Amir had offered me.

Dating someone wasn't a commitment but marriage was, marriage was the biggest commitment in a person's life and I was almost scared at the thought of it. Spending your entire life with one person, without having any guarantee that you would actually be happy..the thought of it was scary enough.

It was even more scary when I whole heartedly had deep feelings for this man.

"But isn't that what you planned for? To play a bigger role, I mean-" Aliya pondered out loud and I knew what she was talking about.

I had wanted to marry Amir but it was only because I wanted to be in a position like that, I didn't think I would have any feelings for him at that time.

"Yes but that was when I didn't have feelings for Amir, not like this." I replied, she smiled.

"And that is a bad thing?"

"Aaliya, he has never even kissed a woman in his life. He has never slept with anyone, he's too fucking pure to marry me." I swore, she scowled at me.

"Who said that? And how can you say that about your own self when you damn well know that being pure comes from the heart, not from your body." She shot back at me.

I had always preached this heart and body thing but today was not one of those days. I felt like I should have not lost my virginity, I should have kept myself pure for Amir. I didn't even know why I kept thinking like that when I damn well knew that it was wrong.

"I wanted to lie and tell him I was pure but the look on his face, I couldn't do it. I couldn't lie." I said next, she nodded in understanding

"So what's the plan? When are you saying yes?" She plopped down on my bed, taking off the thin sweater that she had been wearing above her shirt.

It was getting quite cold in Buredaan.

"I don't even know if I am saying yes." I replied, she looked at me like I had gone crazy.

Even I, myself knew that I wouldn't say no. But that was my heart's decision and I didn't base my actions on the decisions of my heart.

"Ofcourse, you are. Why would you say no?"

"He is from an entirely different culture." I reminded, she shrugged as if she couldn't care less.

"And he said he would never try to change you." She said back.

Yes. Amir said that and he didn't seem like the kind of man who didnt stick to his word.

"He did. He promised."

"Haya, you wouldn't find someone better than him. Why are you thinking so much?" Aaliya asked me and i didn't know how to explain it to her.

I didn't know how to tell her that my mind and my heart were at a constant battle, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. All I could think about was Amir and Amir only. Was I ready to give my all to him?

"I have to tell my mother and what am I gonna tell my father? He'll think I am some slut who clung to the Crown Prince on our very first visit." I rambled out.

It was so unlike me.

"No. He won't. You're talking about marriage here. He'll probably be proud of you." She corrected me, I let out a sigh and I knew Aaliya was seeing the conflicted expression on my face even now.

"Haya, I'm done with your whining. Be the confident bitch that you are. Stop acting like a stupid person." She said with her eyes narrowed at me.

"Okay, okay. I'll just wait two weeks and talk to Amir, then I'll discuss with my parents." I decided, shaking my head as several other thoughts popped into my head.

I felt Aaliya's hand on my shoulder.

"Haya, you'll be the wife of a crown fucking Prince. Stop thinking about the past." Her voice held a gentleness and yet a sterness.

"How did you know I was thinking about the past?" I asked with a half smile.

"Because that is the only reason why you would doubt everything."

And I knew she was right.

___

@AmirBinAbdullah : 'Be with God and God will be with you.'

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Amir.

Thinking about me?

Haya.
Thinking about us.

Amir.
What about us?

Haya.
The pros and cons of marrying you. I'm making a list.

Amir.
Do I even want to hear the cons?

Haya.
Yes, you do.

Amir.
Go on then.

Haya.
Well, I would always create some trouble for you because I'm very different than your poeple.

Amir.
Getting into trouble because of Princess Haya. That's the dream.

Haya.
You're high on your feelings.

Amir.
I'm high on you, yes.

Haya.
I wouldn't dress up like the women in your country and that would be a problem.

Amir.
You came into my country and you didn't create any problem before.

Haya.
I probably won't do what you want me to do.

Amir.
Yes, I know that very well. I'm well reversed in you only listening to yourself.

Haya.
I don't apologise for my mistakes alot. I'm hard headed.

Amir.
I don't apologise for no reason either. I guess we'll have to find other ways to fix our future problems.

Haya.
I shop alot. I buy everything I see.

Amir.
You're talking to a Crown Prince. I'll get you whatever you want.

Haya.
I want to see the world.

Amir.
We'll see it together.

Haya.
I want to work for the good of the people.

Amir.
I'm sure we can find good use of your abilities over here.

Haya.
I'm demanding. I want time and attention.

Amir.
I won't ignore you, Haya.

Amir.
Now can I tell you the pros so you can add them into your list?

Haya.
Yes, please.

Amir.
You'll have a home. You'll have no worry about anything.

Haya.
I have a home here too.

Amir.
You'll be able to add the no second marriage clause in our nikah contract so you feel more secure.

Haya.
You're a crown Prince. You can break free from all kinds of contracts.

Amir.
You'll live with your husband alone, away from my big family.

Haya.
And?

Amir.
You'll have a man who will love and cherish you, who'll make sure that your happiness is his first priority and you'll be taken well care of.

Haya.
Men promise many things before marriage.

Amir.
Marry me, Haya. I'll give you the entire world.

Haya.
I'll talk to my father in two weeks.

Amir.
Okay. I'll call you tonight.

Haya.
I'll wait❤️

@Haya : a very beautifully conflicted morning.

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Thoughts?!