.

_____________________

The story so far.

Haya and Amir are two very different human beings belonging to the very similar yet different worlds. Their lives are golden in the eyes of others and in some ways, they truly are. While Haya is free spirited, Amir is absolutely calm in nature. Their worlds collide with social media and now they have a hold on one another which is hard to shake off. In their first meeting, Haya and Amir get too attached to one another. It is quite fitting that something overwhelming happens in their next one.

________

@Haya : as simple as the world and as complicated as it.

Haya x Amir.

For someone who was always polished and chiseled to perfection in front of Amir, Haya did not know why she had this bare look on her face.

She supposed that it was because she didn't feel the need to over do things anymore. Everything was already escalating at a normal pace with Amir, there was no need to put it any extra efforts.

For today's meeting, she had chose a plain white shirt with black pants and her hair tied back in a bun.

On the other hand, Amir looked so dressed up. She knew why. He had arrived straight from the embassy of Maraaish into her own suite.

They had planned a meet up but knowing the extra press situation in US, it was more safe to meet at the temporary residence.

He had arrived around five minutes ago and this time, Haya hadn't felt the need to pretend. Not more than the usual though.

She had replaced the black skirt with black pants, letting the white shirt stay on. Her hair was opened naturally and her face had quite a bit of make up on but it was done in a way that made her look too flawless and bare.

Amir looked absolutely smitten with her and she felt her heart humm at the sight of his smile.

Prince Amir and his God damned dimples.

Haya inhaled a small breath, not liking the silence between them. Amir was usually less talkative but he wasn't exactly quite. It felt like he had alot to say but something was holding him back, like he was thinking about something.

Haya knew she had to break this silence.

"The last time we were in a suite, you rushed out like you couldn't breathe in there. Yet here we are, back in a suite, surrounded by nothing but four walls and us." She started off, saying what her heart told her to say.

Usually, she always knew what she had to say to him and how she had to phrase her words but today was not one of those days.

He remained quiet for another moment before he looked up at her and smile in a way that only one side of his face showed his smile, it was almost like a half smile.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?" She asked.

"Yes, I couldn't breathe in that suite." He told her, clear and straight forward.

He had told her that she was making him sin that day and the words had been stuck in her mind since that very day.

She wanted to ask if he was being vary because he was afraid of her making him sin again, but then she chose against it.

"You were good yesterday. Very diplomatic and different from the person you really are." He appreciated, her eyes raised at that.

She had hated her speech because it had sounded so fake and so unlike her.

"I hadn't written the speech." She clarified something that he already knew. Haya continued.

"And I had promised my father that I wouldn't aid in making enemies for the country."

He nodded, understanding that there was definitely a reason for her to sound so unlike herself.

"Would you like to eat something?" She offered him next, since it was around two and she herself hadn't eaten a bite of anything.

Amir shook his head as he made himself more comfortable on the sofa, turning a little more to face her properly.

"No, thank you. I had lunch at the embassy." He replied, Haya nodded at him.

"Right. You said that you had plans to come to Buredaan?"

"I most certainly do. I have a day visit planned next month."

Haya let a small smirk slip from the corner of her mouth.

"And would you like to explore my country with me?" She offered, batting her lashes at him in a way that wasn't too obvious but aas definitely a little flirty.

Amir grinned back.

"I don't imagine myself doing anything better." He answered, Haya let out a chuckle.

"Okay. Tell your security team that Princess Haya is taking you out next month and they better stay away." She said in a playful demeanour, Amir let out a small laugh.

"I'm sure they won't come in your way." He replied in the very same way.

She saw him look more and more at ease and felt pleased about it.

She crossed her legs and checked her phone, feeling the awkward silence slowly starting to take over once again. She knew why there was such silence, things had changed between them, they had talked about deeper things, different things. Their relationship had transformed.

"You know, yesterday when you entered the hall..I saw the way people looked at you, like they would look at an actual Princess." She heard him say, she shot him a look.

"I am an actual Princess." She defended, Amir nodded as if that was obvious by pointing towards the suite and then at her.

"I meant that, you came in the room and everything brightened. And when you looked at me, like you were searching for me, I was in awe." He started off, telling her that she made him feel that way, she made him wonder struck.

Haya listened to him.

"And then today, you're here in this room..so natural and yet I can't help but.." He trailed off.

She wasn't exactly natural. Concealer, foundation, lip balm, Mascara, tint blush, rosy highlighter. But she was the most natural she had been in front of him before this.

"I'm in utter awe of you, Haya. I've never felt this with someone before." He said out loud.

She felt the butterflies in her stomach, literally. There were many things she could have said to him but the truth was, she wanted to know what they were, she wanted to have that part in control, she wanted to know the aspect of their relationship.

"Say something." She heard Amir say.

Haya looked at him, contemplating whether she could ask him or not.

She could, she had that confidence and he had just confessed of his feelings.

"Date me." She stated, his face changed and his eyes raised.

"What?" He murmured.

Did he not understand what date me meant?

"Be in a relationship with me, Amir. Get to know me. Make me get to know you." She explained better, he shook his head so fast that she almost felt offended.

"I can't be in a haram relationship, Haya." He told her, unapologetic and sharp.

She frowned.

"I know that your religious beliefs are strong but even talking to me is haram, still you're here. Aren't you?" She questioned.

Just because she wasn't religious enough, it didn't mean that she didn't have any information about her religion.

Amir lowered his gaze.

"Because I can't control myself. I don't want to do haram things but I just can not control myself. Do you get that?" He asked in a low voice.

She did get that. She understood that. But what was the point of telling her all these things when he didnt want to date her?

"I do, Amir. I'm not asking you to cross any limit, I'm just asking you to work on your feelings, our feelings." She phrased her words better, Amir still didn't agree with that.

"Haya, I know my feelings. I know what I feel for you and a meaningless haram relationship won't do me any good."

He stayed firm on his stance. She, however was stuck on the word meaningless.

"Meaningless haram relationship." She repeated in mockery, he looked up at her and all his eyes held was gentleness for her.

Her own face softened because of the look in his eyes.

"Look, I understand that it is something that you need. But it's something that I don't need. I don't need to date you to know you." He told her.

She felt so confused. What did he want then?

"So where does that leave us, Amir? I'm not here to be your friend." She clarified.

She wasn't going to be buddies with a Crown Prince.

"I don't want to be your friend, Haya. That's haram too." He pointed out, she wanted to laugh out loud.

Haram and halal. There was such a fine space between the two. Seeing the changed expression on her face, he knew he had to tell her what he had been thinking all along, what he had wanted to say ever since he came here.

"I know I might be different for you, I don't believe in dating someone and then breaking up with them the moment something goes wrong, I believe in strong and pure relationships."

He stated. Haya knew what a strong and pure relationship was but she also knew he would not suddenly ask her for something like this. It wasn't possible.

"Like?" Haya pondered.

"Marriage, Haya." He said it so easily, the word marriage rolled off his tongue so fluently that Haya didn't even know what to think.

She felt so alarmed in that moment. She had felt so many things at the start, she had even made this crazy plan of marrying him for his position or something but that was before her feelings were involved. Now, it just made her freak out.

"Amir.." She trailed off, on the verge of freaking out.

Breathe, Haya. Breathe.

"Don't worry. I am not asking you to marry me right away, I just want you to think about it." He calmy told her, she swallowed.

"I don't understand."

"We have a whole month to think about it, to talk the way we talk, to get to know each other and if you think that I would make a good life partner for you, then I would like to do nothing more than marry you."

He seemed so confident of his decision when he hardly knew her, her past, her decisions, her life.

"Amir, this is-" She felt at the loss of words, not even knowing where to start and where to end.

"I come from a different culture, I, you-" She fumbled, something she hadn't done before.

He hushed her with a shake of head.

"I want you to think regardless of all that. I won't ask you to change for me and I hope you don't ask me to change for you." He gently murmured, continuing.

"Just think about it, Haya. You have an entire month."

He said it like a month would be enough for her to decide because he had already decided. She did not know how many questions she could ask him right now so she asked the most basic one.

"What will your father say?" She questioned, Amir smiled that very charming smile again.

"I just want you to think about us. No one else." He assured, Haya sighed.

"And you'll be okay marrying someone who is so problematic?" She questioned again.

She do not want to use the word problematic for herself but it had automatically slipped out of her mouth. She was not problematic. She was free-spirited and opinionated. She wanted to fight for people and she wanted to speak up up for the powerless. If anything, that made her a good person. Still, she had used the word problematic that the media often used for her.

She waited for his answer and he answered without any hesitation.

"Yes. In a heartbeat." Amir replied, she took a sip of the water that was placed in front of her.

"And there is nothing that will change your mind about me?" She interrogated and the look on his face told her that there was definitely something that could change his mind.

"There is." He affirmed.

She waited for him to continue and tell her what could possibly change his mind.

"But I feel it is very offensive to even ask you such a question." Amir continued, not even looking her in the eye but lowering his head once again.

He felt uncomfortable talking about something and she definitely had an idea what he was thinking about.

He wanted to know if she was a virgin or not. She knew that in her heart and even though she wanted to feel offended and wanted to say something crude, she also know that if she could have preferences and choices for a man, a man could also have preferences and choices for a woman.

"I want you to ask me, I want to know if you're in this with everything you have." Haya told him. She wanted to listen to him. She wanted him to ask her this.

Even though she had no idea what she would say as a response. She had lied to him before, and she could do it again but those were harmless lies. This wouldn't be.

She waited for him to speak and waited some more, she waited until he found himself looking up at her again and finding the courage to ask her a question that he deemed inappropriate.

"I know that you have dated men before me. I know that you have been intimate, I just want to know if you have slept with a man."

He finally asked. Haya looked him in the eye and contemplated on whether she should tell him the truth or lie.

She decided to drag the conversation instead.

"And that matters? You want to know if I'm pure or not?" She asked, as if she wasn't expecting the question.

Amir breathed out, an audible breath and a serious expression formed on his face.

"Haya, I haven't been with any woman in my life. I have abided by the rules of my religion and I would think about being with someone who has not committed zina."

Zina. Sex before marriage. Adultery. Sin.

"And if I say I have, that will change your mind about me, about your proposal?"

"I will get conflicted about the proposal, yes." He affirmed.

Haya sighed. She had so many thoughts in her head but she didn't want to lose Amir, she wanted to tell the truth.

On the other hand, this was a test for Haya but she didn't know that. Amir knew she had committed zina, she had slept with men because he had read and researched alot about her in the past few days.

He wanted to see whether the woman he wanted to marry would lie to him about such a major thing. Or did she have the guts to tell him the truth?

When he had decided to propose Haya for marriage, he had decided to accept all of her. Every sin, every haram thing, every bad and good thing about her.

"You're right, Amir. You are a man who has followed the rules, you deserve someone who has done the same." Haya started off.

She wanted to say the truth but she didn't want to lose him. Her mind battled. The lie seemed so easy and the truth seemed so hard to say.

"Amir, I-haven't, I mean,-" She swallowed, trying to lie.

"Haya.." He looked at her, his heart beating fast because he couldn't marry her if she lied.

It was a test and he so desperately wanted her to pass it.

"Please, tell me the truth." He pleaded, Haya nodded.

"I have not,-" She let out a sigh and decided to tell him the truth.

If he truly wanted to be with her, he would be with her regardless of this shit.

"I can't lie to you, Amir." She breathed out, continuing.

"Wearing modest clothes and lying to impress you is one thing but I can't lie to you about this. I have done it, Amir." She told him the truth because her heart told her to do so.

Amir smiled so genuinely at her that her ears burned. His hand reached out towards her and Haya stared at him, almost surprised.

He put his hand on hers and squeezed in gratitude. Just that tiny gesture had tingles forming all over her body.

"Thank you for your honesty." He said to her, his voice so low but so appreciative and so filled with aw.

Haya had expected another reaction. Hadn't he been the one to say that this one thing would change his mind about the proposal and now he was smiling at her?

"You said that this is the one thing that will change your mind about your proposal." She stated, needy to know where they stood now.

"I did." He affirmed, she cocked an eyebrow at him as he pulled his hand away slowly.

"So, I guess you have changed your mind then?" She questioned him, not even giving him the space to speak as she started to talk again.

"Can I say something in my defense?" There was nothing to be said in her defence. She had told him the truth and had been honest about her life, even though he had told her that this would affect his proposal.

Amir had not even nodded at her when she started to speak once again.

"I'm not ashamed of anything that I have done. I have never been and I probably wouldn't feel it right now but if that one act of mine has managed to sabotage this, something so pure that I've felt after a long time, I'll regret it too much." Hearing her pour her heart out to him, even though she wasn't even sure she was ready for something like marriage, it made Amir feel more secure and confident about his decision.

"Amir, I've lived a life where I've chosen my heart over my body. For me, giving my heart to someone is the hardest thing to do. But I'm ready to give my heart to you." She professed out loud, he smiled so warmly at her that Haya felt a slight blush rise through her cheeks.

"I'm glad that you told me the truth. It gave me another reason to marry you."

He said out loud, she nodded.

"I'll think about your proposal, but you already know what my heart is telling me to do." Amir stood up, looking at the time as he knew he had to leave back for Maraaish in an hour or so.

Haya didn't stop him, knowing both of them had to go back home in a few hours.

"This one month will be good for us. Even I might rethink some things."  He murmured as he started to walk towards the door, Haya chuckled.

"Think whether you want to be paired up with a sinner hmm?" She questioned playfully but Amir looked at her with a firm expression on his face, as if he didn't agree with her.

"You're a beautiful person, Haya. This is why God has given you the noor on your face." He complimented, Haya wanted to say it wasn't the Noor but the rosystar gold foundation but stopped herself.

"But I am a sinner." She insisted, knowing he thought of her as one, knowing that she was one.

"Everyone's a sinner." He dismissed her comment, she nodded.

"Still, think about everything before you give your all to me. I'm not sure about it so how can you be?" She prolonged, he let out a sigh.

He was very sure about his decision. He wasn't going to change it.

He opened the door to the suite but Haya put a hand on it, stopping him from closing it.

"If you choose to walk away from your proposal, just know that I was honored to walk into the streets of Maraaish with you. Meeting you has been a beautiful moment in my life, one that I'll cherish forever." She said to him, even though she never wanted to say it.

She didn't want to say the things she had been saying to him throughout the day. He had a bad affect on her and she didn't like that he made her so soft. Ugh.

"Don't say goodbye," Amir whispered to her, controlling every fiber in his being that was begging him to touch her.

"Take your time, Amir." She still said, wondering how the hell he could change his mind so easily even after knowing she wasn't a virgin.

"No, Haya." He denied.

"No?"

"I want to marry you, Haya." He said it with the utmost conviction.

"Okay," She whispered, continuing.

"I just want to know though, You told me you wouldn't marry someone who has committed zina and I have, Amir. How can you change your mind so quick?" She wondered out loud, she wanted to clear her head and move forward with a sound mind.

"Because if God can forgive us humans every single day, us humans can also over look our needs for perfection." He responded, Haya let out a laugh.

"I don't understand you, Amir."

He let out a laugh too.

"When it comes to you, I don't understand me either."

@Haya : eighteen year old me had such an innocent perception of the world. I had no knowledge of the atrocities, the cruelness, the madness. Sometimes, I wish I didn't know the reality of this crazy, crazy world.

----

Thoughts?!!