[Trigger Warning: mentions of physical & sexual abuse. Reader discretion advised]

***

[Third Person's Point of View]

The rest of the team were glancing curiously at Hotch's closed office and were whispering to each other in hushed voices. Through the window blinds, they could see that he and Erin Strauss, the BAU Section Chief, was having an argument over Liz's redacted record, but none of them could hear what was exchanged between the two.

Inside, Hotch's expression was tight. "You should have disclosed this to me the first time you recommended Dawson into my team," he said, his tone remaining flat as he expressed his displeasure.

"It was a need to know," Strauss answered matter of factly. "You didn't need to know."

Hotch was having none of that. "I do now. My team is out there every day putting their lives at risk, even as they go home. We could have saved twelve hours from trying to get this file opened. The twelve hours my agent may or may not have."

"Then I suggest you waste no more time arguing with me about the system and start briefing the team about Dawson," countered Strauss rather coldly. She got up and straightened her expensive work suit. With an exhale, her face softened a bit. "I hope you do find her in time, Agent Hotchner."

Hotch nodded, brooding quietly as he chose not to continue arguing with his direct superior. He opened the door quietly and ushered the woman out before getting out to meet the team as well, a file in his hand.

As soon as Strauss left the vicinity, the team ceased pretending to be busy and immediately fixed their gaze on their boss who was walking down the staircase to the big round table at the floor where they were going to hold their follow up meeting.

"We got her," Hotch told the team, then to Garcia, "Strauss has forwarded the softcopy of this file to your laptop. Please pull it up on the screen."

"Right away, sir," muttered Penelope as her fingers began to type fast on her laptop.

A mugshot of Elizabeth holding a placate as she was being booked in Chicago Police Department appeared on the screen. She was a brunette back then; with nose piercing, smoky eyes, black eyeliner and pinky nude lips. There was a hint of rebellious youth look on her expression. Just looking at the injury on her face-a cut on her left eyebrow and a swollen bruise on the same side of cheekbone-the team could tell that they were right: Elizabeth Dawson used to suffer from abuse.

Derek was upset of the fact. Not because Elizabeth was obviously hiding her past from him or the rest of the team, or because of the fact that she looked like a totally different person between then and now. It's because he realized, even after leaving whatever life she had left behind-even ditching her own self, from the looks of her appearance now- she still carry that same mellowness in her hazel eyes. And now Derek knew why.

"Woah," Emily muttered in shock.

"Woah is right," mumbled Penelope, an equal look of shock lining her face as well, "She looked like the corrupted, tortured twin of Elizabeth that we know."

"She looked so sad," commented JJ, her eyes soft in sympathy as she looked at the picture of her introverted friend. "Someone beat her up. Poor girl."

Hotch nodded. He gestured to Elizabeth's picture on the screen. "Meet Alicia White a.k.a The Red Queen."

A gasp, then all of a sudden, Penelope jumped from her seat, her mouth wide agape. "No. No! You did not-!"

"-I did. Sit down, Garcia."

The unhappy look that Hotch shot Penelope for rudely interrupting his speech brought her back from her state of shock. Immediately the female sat back down again, mumbling 'Sir, yes sir' with an embarrassed blush on her face.

Derek stared at her questioningly, but the female didn't bother to so much as glance back at her best friend.

Hotch began again. "You may remember the cyberwarfare attack in Chicago that Elizabeth supposedly thwarted years ago. The truth is, she was never a Tech Support for Chicago PD. In fact, she was actually one of the hackers. The Red Queen, famously named nemesis for-"

"-me," Garcia mumbled as if in a trance, her expression still lost in disbelief.

"-The Black Queen, or rather Garcia here, before joining the FBI," Hotch finished.

The whole team looked absolutely flabbergasted.

"Alicia White, hiding behind the code name Red Queen at the time, began her journey as a hacker in her late teens. Messing up school database and grading systems, stealing answer keys to tests. However, as she graduated high school, she got involved with some serious hacktivists. From then on she began stealing information for blackmailing purposes, hacking into bank databases and wiping clean credit records, student loans, even distributing money to seemingly random people. At the time, The Chicago PD's Cyber Department nicknamed her as the digital Robin Hood as she seemingly stole from the rich and distributed money to people of lower income class."

Alicia White, thought Derek, a sad smile tugged on his lips, Even when being bad, his baby was still good.

"At some point, Alicia White realized the cyberwarfare initiated by the hacktivist would do more than just reshaping the economy and distributing wealth. Further, it would cost people their lives. A prolonged cyberwarfare would cause traffic accidents due to paralyzed traffic systems, planes to crash due to communication disturbances at the Air Traffic Control. The economic instability would increase crime rates resulting in riots and plundering on the streets. So Alicia White surrendered to Chicago PD and gave them all the information they needed about the city-wide cyber attack. She managed to make a deal with the Homeland Security. A clean, new identity in exchange for her help in countering the cyberwarfare and taking down her own people in the hacktivist group. Later on, she relocated to Phoenix, Arizona, as Elizabeth Dawson. She cleaned up her act and worked an honest job as a 9-1-1 Dispatcher. Apparently, since her exit from the hacktivist group, she kept in contact with a Detective John Reese in Chicago, who would later deemed that her skills were wasted as a 9-1-1 Dispatcher. A few recommendation letters later, she found herself being offered a job in the bureau and eventually ended up here with us."

"Oh my god. My arch nemesis is my best friend," Penelope still mumbled to herself, as if in a trance.

"If it makes you feel any better, Garcia, I think she was actually looking up to you. During one of her interrogation she mentioned that her famous code name was a tribute to her rival, The Black Queen-another hacker she aspired to be when she was younger. Who knows, maybe she picked BAU specifically because of you."

Penelope's chest tightened. Her eyes began to well up with tears. In attempt to comfort his friend, Derek took Penelope's hand and gave it a squeeze, not letting go as he looked up at Hotch.

"What about the bruises?" Derek asked, his chocolate eyes wistful as he referred to Elizabeth-or Alicia White's picture.

"That is where it might be worth looking into," Hotch began, clicking his remote to sift through the next page of her previously closed record. "There was report of physical and sexual abuse from her forensic exams, but White seemingly protective of her abuser and refused to give away their name."

"Women who were abused by their significant other tend to keep silent, even go as far as protecting them because their abuser knew how to manipulate the victims emotionally. He may appear extremely remorseful and loving after an event of abuse, willing to go far to apologize and even promising the victim to change and be better," Rossi explained.

The room was silent in deep thought, and only the sound of Garcia's vigorous typing was heard on the background.

"Rossi's right. Was there anyone romantically tied with Elizabeth at the time?" JJ asked.

Hotch shook his head. "None that we know of. Even then, White kept her personal life off the grid. Garcia, can you pull up the names of the members of the Hacktivists?"

"Ahead of you sir," she replied at the same time as a couple dozen pictures appeared on the screen.

"Try filtering the names to only male, white and within the age of 30 to 40 at this time," Derek suggested.

"We've got..." A beep, "...eleven names."

"Okay. It's been more than half a decade since this arrest had been made. Some of these people must have already gotten out at some point," Reid added while Penelope typed on her computer.

"Try eliminating the names of the people that are having trouble holding down a steady job," Derek suggested.

"Why?" asked Penelope.

Prentiss beat Derek to it. "Because these type of abusers are most likely a control freak, so he's most likely driven and that means he must have control over his life, including work."

"Six names," Garcia informed as her computer beeped again. The screen flashed. "Eoghan Miles, works in New Jersey's Educational Center as Tech Support Assistant; Ethan D. Reilly, a Field Technician for AT&T in Montana; Jonathan Carver, apparently he is now a very successful programmer who helped create an e-wallet app; Carliton Guggenheim, a Tech Support at Cedar's Sinai in LA, Peter Matthew Constance built his own home security company from the ground up; and finally Hamed Nash-oh, he's not so bad, he is now working as Data Analyst for the DEA."

"Alright. I will assigned each of us names and numbers to call regarding these suspects. Look for the ones that has been missing work lately, especially around Elizabeth's disappearance time. Garcia, I want a thorough background check on those six names."

The next few minutes later, each team members of the team were busy making calls to each of their suspect's workplace. JJ was the one who stood up first and got a hit. The pretty woman held the phone to her chest as she stood and addressed the team.

"Jonathan Carver is currently taking a long annual leave since January 8th."

Derek couldn't breath. He almost choked with guilt, "That's the day after the live press conference that Elizabeth did."

Penelope immediately dropped whatever she was doing and went straight to pulling up Carver's information. He was not an evil looking man; in fact, he looked handsome-kind even.

"Jonathan Carver has a residence in Chicago, a summer home in Austin, Texas, and just last year bought a cabin near a mountain in Frostburg, Maryland."

A look of determination crossed Hotch's face.

"Alright. We're leaving in fifteen. Get yourselves ready. Meanwhile-Garcia-notify local authorities, tell them we're coming."

"Yes, sir."

The team quickly dispersed. As Derek retrieved the key to his car to get his go bag, Garcia stopped him. "Hot stuff?"

His friend's voice pulled him out of his brooding state. "Yes, momma?"

"Bring her back to us."

Derek gave her a sad smile, but a determined look in his eyes. "There's nothing in the world I want more right now. This is my fault too, and I promise you I will fix this and bring her back to us."

Before Penelope could tell him that no, it wasn't his fault, Derek had already left, leaving the conference room in a deafening silence.

***

PRESENT TIME

The dining table for two were set beautifully in the middle of the small living room. The way he set up the place was exactly how Elizabeth would dream years ago: romantic candle light in the middle, a tiny vase with a tiny sunflower in it sitting comfortably on top of the neatly arranged, pressed white table cloth. An array of silver cutleries laid symmetrically on each side of their white plates, prettied up by a decoration consisting of rosemary leaves at the edge of the plates.

A perfect table setting for a perfect date.

The man offered her a boyish, rather nervous smile as he gazed at her.

"You look beautiful," he praised as he produced a bouquet of white and soft pink lilies from behind his back, offering it to the woman with a battered face and split lip.

Hesitantly, Elizabeth took the bouquet from his hand, then dipped her nose into the flower, inhaling its aroma.

"It's beautiful," Elizabeth replied with a shaky voice. "J-Jonathan?"

Jonathan's handsome face lit up like a Christmas tree when his name slipped out of her lips. "Yes, Alice?" he replied gently.

"W-where is m-my clothes?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around her small body.

Jonathan had hit her earlier and knocked her out again when she was sober enough to try to escape from him. She didn't know how long had it been since then; he had drugged her with something potent. By the time she woke up, she was already in this beautiful Winter cabin, with only a thin, ivory lingerie dress and a matching panty covering her body. Her lips trembled with the fact that his hand had been touching her again as he changed her clothes.

"I threw it away. I'm sorry, Alice," he said with remorse but a small smile on his face, "Those doesn't suit you. You have a very beautiful body. I want to give you beautiful dresses that fit you better," he said softly, his eyes gazed at her reverently. "Alice?"

Elizabeth hated that name. Most importantly, she hated that name coming out of his mouth. To her, that name had been corrupted; a thread to her past that was defiled by him.

"Are you cold?" he asked tenderly but in a rather patronizing way.

She shook her head.

"Then there's no reason to hug yourself like that. Relax," he ordered, still smiling. "Let me see all of you. Besides, it's not like I haven't seen anything."

Wanting to stall as she internally fought to think of a way to escape him, she obeyed his request. Besides, she didn't want to be hit again.

Her eyes drifted to the wooden windows. The snow was falling in a beautiful, almost Christmas-y flurry.

Jonathan had changed her attire to this flimsy dress; Elizabeth knew that it wasn't only so that he could dress her up according to his taste, but also so that she would remain vulnerable. Out there, in this weather, in this thin piece of fabric? She wouldn't last an hour.

As if reading her mind, the handsome man with the silvery blue eyes smiled at her. She couldn't bear staring too long at those eyes that had both loved and hurt her. So she let her eyes wander to the crackling fireplace next to the table.

Jonathan reached to spoon some spaghetti and put it in her plate. "I hope you'll like Italian," he said with his gentle, easy lover voice, "I made it just for you. I swear, this was better than years ago. I've improved my cooking skills since then."

Elizabeth fought to keep a straight face as she looked at him eating. After a while, realizing that she was not going to eat with him, he sighed and put down his cutleries.

"I know. We started off our reunion on the wrong foot. I'm sorry I hit you, darling. You know I had to do it," he emphasize the word 'had', making it seem like she was the one who forced him to do it. Just like the way he used to do.

He never changed. Not one bit.

Right then Elizabeth made up her mind. She would rather take her chances of dying of hypothermia than let him touch her again after 'romancing' her.

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth lied through her chattering teeth. "I-I don't know why I panicked."

A pleased, understanding smile stretched across his face. "You think I'm going to be mad at you."

Liz looked at him, not understanding.

"...For leaving," he clarified, "...And for giving me up to the cops. Leaving me behind to stuck in prison for five years. But I forgave you, Alice-that's how much I love you."

Liz's eyes stung. A part of her was tempted to believe the earnestness in his voice and in his haunting silvery eyes; after all, he was the one who took her under his wings when no one else would. He fed her; clothed her; taught her the beautiful and expansive world of coding. He was the one who made her who she was now. But she now knew that even the devil would disguise himself as the angel of light.

"Come here," he ordered gently.

Elizabeth stood on her bare feet and made his way in front of him, next to his seat. He grabbed her by her hips and sat her down on his lap so that she was straddling him. A wave of disgust rolled off of her as he felt his hands stroking her hip and back sensually. It made her feel dirty; cheap. It took her a lot of effort not to pry herself away from his touch when she saw how his eyes darkened as he scanned her form through the almost see through fabric.

"I know I was not without fault back then for what happened between us, and I'm very sorry. Please know that you were always in my mind, every day. I love you, so much that it hurts," he said with a pained expression, as if he was really hurting, "I know we belong together. You and me. I need you to breathe."

I need you not to breathe, she thought bitterly.

"Can we try again?" he asked, lover eyes looking up at her expectantly. "With a clean slate this time. Please, Alice, give me a chance."

No.

"Yes," Elizabeth nodded, swallowing thickly.

His smile bloomed bright; happy.

There was a time when Elizabeth loved the way he caught her lips in a heated kiss, laced with hunger and carnal need. Or when he cupped her breast in his palms. Or when his hands felt the curve of her bottom and pushed her to him, so that she would feel just how much she aroused him. But now all she felt was utter disgust and fear. Before they knew it, her left hand had traveled to the table next to them. Grabbing his plate blindly, she bit hard on his lower lip and bashed the ceramic to his head as soon as he released her lips.

It all happened in a blink of an eye.

His roar of pain and rage. Her pushing him to the ground, the table flipped to its side along with everything on it, white table cloth fell too near to the fireplace and got caught in fire.

Jonathan was twice her size; Elizabeth knew that bashing his head with a plate served only momentarily to confuse and anger him. So she took a nearby fire iron and hit him with it across his head, causing him to fall down to the floor with much pain in his roar.

"Bitch!!" he screamed in pain as he held the side of his bloody head. "Alice! Fucking come back here!"

With trembling hands, Elizabeth managed to turn the key and opened the door. The biting cold of Winter hit her face. Without much more thinking, she ran for her life.

Her lungs burned with both cold and fear. She ignored it, or the fact that she could feel the tiny crystals of snow beneath her bare feet; how snow fell on top of her head, shoulders and on her face as she ran from Jonathan.

He had followed her.

"You can't run forever, Alice!" she heard him screamed madly from a distance.

She didn't know where she was going. Her senses were all over the place. There was snow covering the ground like a stretch of fluffy blanket as far as her hazel eyes could see. Pine trees here and there topped with snow; the sound of her ragged breathing and the crunching of the snow beneath her frozen feet.

She couldn't hear him anymore.

The moment she thought he had lost her, she allowed herself to rest and began to crawl under a tree. She pushed her numbed limbs together to her shivering body. She listened to the sound of wind and the sound of her chattering teeth. Her body was now trembling violently; either from cold or fear, she couldn't tell anymore.

"I told you you can't run forever, Alice."

The eerily calm voice next to her ear sent cold down her spine; one that had no relation to the weather around her. Suddenly she felt her hair being pulled roughly that she was forced to stand on her feet. A blow to her face momentarily blinded her as she tasted the rustic tang of blood in her mouth.

Just as blinded, but with rage and betrayal, Jonathan moved to straddle her; his hands closing in around her neck. If he couldn't have her, then no one could. He would kill her; then he'd kill himself so he could die with her. Jonathan's eyes began to stung with the twisted thought.

Elizabeth choked for air; she felt as if her eyes were being pushed out of their sockets from the pressure on her neck. Using the last bit of her mind left, she fought the urge to try to pry the cold hands that was suffocating her. Reaching blindly, she prayed inwardly, probably to her hearsay being, to help her. Just this time.

She wanted to die; but not like this.

Not with Jonathan's hands.

Her left hand felt something sturdy. Whatever it was, it had a weight in it, and with the strength that she had left, Elizabeth hit Jonathan's head with it.

She heard his grunt of pain just as the pressure on her neck was released. Elizabeth attempted to deck Jonathan with her feet across his face; a move that would definitely make Morgan proud.

She was about to get up and run, but Jonathan pulled her leg towards him, causing her to bump on the icy ground beneath her. A sharp pain shot at her leg, causing a scream to escape her throat. She kicked Jonathan again blindly, but he was able to overpower her again.

She wailed and kicked and trashed. A piece of metal was glinting in the air-a knife- as Jonathan was about to deliver a death blow towards her.

It never came.

A loud gunshot was heard, then Jonathan fell on his side. Across the field of snow, stood her dark knight in a shining FBI armor. Elizabeth let out a breath of relieve and a smile crept up her face despite the biting cold.

Lifting her arms towards Derek, he welcomed her and pulled her into his warm embrace.

"My hero," she muttered through chattering teeth, finally feeling safe in his arms. She pulled away a bit as Derek put his coat over her bare shoulders and cupped her face. His eyes heavy with concern and tender care. "Baby, you okay? I was worried sick."

Elizabeth nodded enthusiastically. She had never been so happy to see someone's face. "Have I ever told you that I love you?" she asked without thinking, emotions ran wild within her. "If I have never told you, then now I will. I love you. Very much," she confessed.

Derek's warm chocolate eyes softened. Call her crazy, but she thought she saw the same warmth of love in his kind eyes as he gazed at her. "Everyday," he muttered gently, his eyes loving, "It's implied."

They hugged again, and it felt like there was nobody else in the world but her and him. She basked in his comforting warmth; not ever wanting to let go.

"How about we get you something warm?" he said with a sweet smile as he led her in his arms, walking hand in hand towards whatever comfort he had in his mind. "Maybe some hot chocolate- beside me, of course?" That got her to giggle. "We can snuggle together, maybe put on some Nat King Cole," he tempted.

How divine! She sighed dreamily at that fine suggestion. She could almost hear Nat King Cole's music in her mind.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,

Jack Frost nipping at your nose,

She found herself being lost in his warm chocolate eyes. In no time, Elizabeth was nursing a mug of hot chocolate; a few white marshmallow melted on top, courtesy of the fine human being that was Derek Morgan.

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,

And folks dressed up as Eskimos,

Carefully, Derek placed a thick, warm blanket on top of her shoulders, then embracing her from behind. In all her years running, she had never felt as safe as she was in his arms. She felt his sweet breath fanning gently across her cheek; his intoxicating masculine scent enveloping her. Their nose touched as they shared tender smile to one another.

Then they kissed.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,

Help to make the season bright...

Elizabeth smiled contentedly. At peace; frozen in time.

Meanwhile, the snow had stopped by the time the BAU team arrived. The fog had been cleared. The team broke into the cabin that belonged to Jonathan Carver, their eyes alert, their body tensed when they felt the heat of the burning fire that had began to consume half of the wooden cabin.

"She's not here!" cursed Morgan, lowering his gun. Fear slithered in his chest like a living being; eating him alive from the inside.

"Morgan!" Reid called from the outside, the boy genius' tone urgent. Immediately both Hotch and Morgan got to his side. "Look."

On the ground were two sets of fading footprints. One of a man's boots, the other of a smaller footprint.

"Elizabeth!" Morgan yelled out her name in the air desperately as he jogged following the footprints. Behind him, Hotch was muttering something through his coms to the rest of the team, but Morgan couldn't listen, couldn't care less. His priority was to find her.

The BAU team ran across the white forest; Derek, being faster, was way ahead of them. Had he been here under different circumstances, he would've enjoyed the beautiful view despite the cold.

Derek had never seen so much blood on snow before in his life. The contrast was eerie: an angry scarlet marring a pure white snow. He felt like he couldn't breathe; his chest felt raw with distress as he followed the trail of blood. He arrived at the crime scene first, ahead of everybody else. What he saw was something that would forever haunt him. The scene made him feel like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest.

In the midst of the bloody snow on the ground, Jonathan Carver's body laid with his face up to the sky, his milky eyes and mouth gaped open, skin blue like stone.

A mere few feet from him, a figure in white was sitting by a pine tree. Her bluish skin was draped in a tiny ivory dress that would have looked immensely gorgeous on her had frozen blood weren't marring the fabric. Her fragile looking arms were wrapped around herself, her bloody legs were pulled against her chest.

Even in the stillness of death, Elizabeth Dawson was beautiful to him. She looked like she was just sleeping; probably having a really good dream, judging from the slight smile on her face.

She reminded him a lot of The Little Match Girl, the bedtime story his mother used to tell him when he was a boy.

Despair clawed fiercely at his chest. But before it could consume him whole, his brain kicked him out of it.

Nobody is dead until they are warm and dead.

That thought broke him out of his stupefied state. He ran to her and began effectively feeling for her nonexistent pulse, then laid her fragile body flat on the ground, gently, before starting chest compressions.

"We need medic over here!" someone behind him shouted as Derek opened Elizabeth's blue lips and blew two breaths into her mouth. Then another series of chest compressions. Two breaths. Thirty chest compressions. Two breaths. Chest compressions. Breaths.

"Come back to me baby," Derek began to cry, as he pushed against her ribcage fast and hard like a mad man. "Please, please, please," he begged, his tears fell on her cold cheek.

At some point he felt the bones in her chest cracked under the pressure of his hands. Even then, it did nothing to wake her.

Derek Morgan began to lost it.

Emily couldn't keep a straight face. The female agent's eyes were misty with tears as he saw Derek gave everything to keep Elizabeth alive. Liz's body shook like a rag doll from the force of Derek's CPR.

It took Hotch, Rossi and Reid to pry Derek off of Elizabeth's form.

"...Damn it, Morgan!" snapped Rossi in frustration, shaking the young agent, "Pull your shit together! Let the medics help her!"

The anger and pain in Rossi's eyes sobered him up. Right then he stopped struggling from his teammates' hold. Derek reluctantly stayed back this time, letting the paramedics do what he couldn't do.

***

[Author's Note: Am I evil? I'm sorry for the angst! Again I must stress that this is a happy ending story, so yeah, don't give up on me. R&R?]