[Third Person’s Point of View]

Derek had never wanted a woman as much as he did Elizabeth Dawson.

At first he theorized that it was because she was his friend, therefore, she was a forbidden fruit, and anything forbidden always have some kind of gravity about them–something wrong yet feel so right.

But then again, Penelope Garcia was also his best friend. Prentiss and JJ were his friends too, and he never wanted them–especially not the way he wanted Liz. There were times when Derek thought he wanted Elizabeth because of how sweet she looked to him: redhead, hazel eyes, petite and soft mannered–so he dated and slept with a bunch of redheads, specifically with the ones that shared similar figure and physical characteristics as Elizabeth. But the relief from the sex, offered only temporary fix and never really satisfied him. Come Monday, he’d see Elizabeth again, flirted casually with her again for the thousandth time, yet deep down, he would still secretly longing for her; not just sexually, but more.

So much more than he’d like to admit.

Derek could easily ask her out years ago, but two things held him back. One, sleeping with her would mean dooming their friendship, the one he couldn’t afford to lose. God knows how much he valued her  presence in his life, and he preferred to keep her close to him. Two, Elizabeth either feared men or the thought of having romantic relationship with one, or both, and recently he finally knew why.

In the midst of the darkest side of humanity that he witnessed everyday, Elizabeth was a safe place, the very person that reminded him that the job was something worth doing. Out there, in the world, with every unsub that they caught, they were keeping good, innocent people like Liz safe.

Being around her felt almost therapeutic for Derek, even when she was being quiet and that there was nothing being said between them. There was something exquisitely simple about Elizabeth Dawson, despite how complicated the woman actually was. Even being present in a moment as simple as when he was watching her fold her laundry in her small living room, with the sound of her tv on the background, was enough to make him feel at peace. It made him feel miles away from Quantico.

In other words, she felt like home.

Every time he had a bad day, she was always the first one he would come to for solace. He’d selfishly want to get her alone just to be with her and hear her talk about anything and everything, distracting him with her soft spoken words. When things were particularly bad, she would eventually find out, even on those rare times when Derek chose to face it alone. In that case, she’d always make an exception for him–she’d initiate a touch: a hug, hand holding, resting her chin on his shoulder–any physical touch that Derek would, on any other occasion, initiate first by nature.

Elizabeth Dawson was his God-given solace.

In return, Derek offered his protection and care–no questions asked.

He never asked why she would take advantage and heavily returned his flirtatious behavior towards her when there were other men present who seemed to be taking interest in her. He never asked why she looked like a deer in headlights whenever a man other than the ones in the team would stand too close to her. In that case, he would, without being asked, step up and find excuses to pull her to him and save her. He never asked why she used him like a shield, but never seemed to want more from him. There were moments when the thought annoyed Derek to no end, but as soon as he saw another man trying to get close to his baby, he was more than eager to sort of claim her.

Eventually, it became their unspoken thing, and Derek would use those moments to his advantage. He would openly named her his 'girl' whenever they sat across some FBI trainees at a table in a club the team frequent. While she was saying that she and Derek were friends, he would let his platonic kiss linger on her temple a little too long, and stared at the stupid young men with a look that say:

She’s mine.

And then he would ask her to dance, and then he’d pull her close and torture himself with the memory of the sweet softness that was Elizabeth Dawson.

Working around a bunch of profilers, his teammates would half teasingly chided Derek for keeping Liz away from potential partners, accusing him that he actually had feelings for the soft spoken woman, but he would always wave them away.

'We’re just friends' was the mantra that he would always tell his teammates, himself and even his own mother, Fran Morgan.

“You’re blind if you can’t see that you are perfect for each other. Lizzie balances you out, Derek. She’s the Yin to your Yang.”

“We’re just friends, mama.”

“Are you sure you two are just friends?”

The question woke Derek from his memory infused sleep. He blinked sleep from his bleary eyes, finding the sight of Spencer Reid frowning at him questioningly, and behind him, Garcia, was having her tongue out to the side of her lips as she snapped a candid picture of him and still sleeping Elizabeth on the hospital bed, cuddling.

Having confessed his true feelings to Elizabeth last night, he knew that just friends was something that he would no longer use to describe what they were. But at the same time, Derek wasn’t sure if Elizabeth was ready to call them something more, despite him knowing that his feelings to her wasn’t one sided. So he decided to ignore Reid’s question and turned his focus on Garcia instead.

“Momma!” he chided Penelope in a hushed voice, knowing that Elizabeth didn’t like her picture taken.

Garcia grinned at him like a Cheshire cat who just ate a canary. “It’s for personal use. No uploading to social media, I promise,” she giggled.

As the tall agent moved his arm off of Elizabeth’s shoulders carefully and quietly left her bed, his blonde best friend and the genius doctor each made their way to be seated on the chairs. Derek only noted briefly how Elizabeth's skin was slightly paler than it was yesterday before Reid stole his attention away from her.

“You won’t believe what happened yesterday at the HQ,” Reid began.

His voice woke Elizabeth.

“What happened?” Elizabeth jumped in the conversation sleepily and rubbed her eyes.

“Good morning, baby bird,” chirped Penelope with a bright smile at seeing her bestie, though battered and bruised, still pretty much looked like the Elizabeth that she knew despite the recent revelation about her past.

Both women had had their time to talk about what happened and about who they were before the BAU. Morgan had stood at the sidelines, letting Penelope freaked out over and at Liz. Then being women, both friends ended their ‘hard’ talk with a series of sobs and laughter after the incident. Seeing the dynamic between Elizabeth and Penelope at the moment reminded him of how his sisters would behave towards each other when making up after a fight.

The two women were like siblings; not by blood, but by heart. The same he felt towards Penelope–but not with Elizabeth.

Never, never in a million years Derek saw her like a sister. He had always seen her as a woman, the one he wanted, within his reach, yet could never have.

But now he had the chance to win her heart and change her mind, so that she would see herself the way he saw her: precious, and that her life is worth living.

“It’s Strauss,” Penelope continued with exaggerated drama in her voice and expression. It made Derek raised his brow in curiosity.

“She and Hotch had a huge fight yesterday,” Reid butted in, “It was ugly. We heard yelling.”

Penelope nodded enthusiastically, wide eyed. “And then Rossi stepped in…”

Both Reid and Garcia butted in at each other animatedly as they recounted the drama that had happened in the BAU while he and Elizabeth was away. 

“…Basically this thing just blew up on her face,” Penelope said with a snort, finishing their tale, while Reid and Derek laughed their asses off with no small amount of amusement. Elizabeth smiled in the background, eyes slightly more mellow than usual yet still amused. She was so engrossed in the stories shared between her friends that she forgot the breakfast that was sitting right in front of her.

“I heard they’re going to involve the HR as well,” Reid informed.

“Damn. This should be good,” commented Derek with a chuckle.

“Are you going to eat that?” Reid distractedly asked Elizabeth, eyeing her hospital Jell-O. He knew Elizabeth never liked the orange flavored one. “Can I have it?”

Liz gave the genius boy a bright, contagious smile. “Anything for you, Tommy,” answered Elizabeth as she offered her Jell-O to Reid with her hand that wasn’t attached to the IV drip.

The smiles and chuckles from the previous conversation suddenly faded, replaced with collective confusion.

“That’s not my name,” Reid stated questioningly.

“Who’s Tommy, baby?” asked Derek with a frown. His eyes searching Elizabeth’s. The agent felt something off when she didn’t reply right away.

“Thomas ‘Tommy’ White was the name of one of her brothers that died in Baxton Fire,” Reid answered, perfectly recalling their research about her with his eidetic memory.

Something was clearly wrong with Elizabeth, despite her not looking at all in some kind of distress or pain.

Penelope was quick but quiet when she pushed the emergency button next to Elizabeth’s bed while Derek took a closer look at the redhead. Her hazel eyes were unfocused and rather sleepy; her breathing seemed a little faster and labored, now that he paid attention. He cursed inwardly.

“Baby, do you know where you are?”

Elizabeth focused her eyes on Derek and gave a soft smile. “Mmhm.”

A doctor and a nurse made their way into the hospital room hastily. Behind Derek, both Penelope and Spencer both filled the doctor in to what occurred just now with Elizabeth, possibly overwhelming the doctor with their fast speeches. Meanwhile, Derek felt his chest tightened with anxiety as he searched his baby's eyes. He held her hand, rubbing her soft, cold skin with his thumb. “You’re right here with me, sweet girl. You’re gonna be okay.”

Derek didn’t know if those words were meant for her or him more, but when Garcia pulled him back, he let her, letting the doctor did a series of exam on her. The nurse ended up having to convince the three agents out of the room.

***

The wait was torture. It brought back all the horrible feelings of the moment when he had discovered her frozen, nearing the doors of death as she sat on top of the snowy ground near Jonathan Carver's winter cabin. The memory made Derek shiver–he felt sick.

When the doctor came out, he bit the inside of his cheek. 

“Please tell me she’s okay, Dr. Singh,” Derek said, his lips pressed together in distress.

“It seems that Ms. Dawson has come up with an infection from the wound on her leg. There are rashes around it. We noticed low urine output, low blood pressure. Delirium or confusion is one of the symptoms of Septicemia as well, that’s why she was calling you someone else’s name,” Dr. Singh referred the latter to Reid. “We caught it early, thanks to your sharp instincts, agents,” the doctor added good naturedly. “For treatment, we already pushed some antibiotics into her system and some medication to help her sleep and support her low blood pressure.”

Derek let go of the breath he didn’t realize was holding.

“Ahh…Thank God!” Penelope exclaimed. “So she’s going to be okay, right?”

“I believe so. Like I said, we caught it early. We’ve also drawn some of her blood for more tests, just to be sure,” Dr. Singh reassured them with a sympathetic smile, “I’ll check her again in an hour and keep tabs on her, see if she’s responding well to the antibiotics.”

Thanking the good doctor, Derek turned to receive Penelope’s comforting hug.

“Damn, momma. I can’t believe this is happening again,” he murmured to her shoulder.

“Gave you the scare, huh, hot stuff?” teased Penelope, causing Derek to let out a relieved chuckle.

“I should have known. I was with her the whole time," he sighed, guilt swam in his chocolate eyes. 

“You know, Sepsis or Septicemia as it is formerly known, is not an easy condition to diagnose. Sometimes, even doctors are having a hard time diagnosing Septicemia since it bears symptoms that could be mistaken as other conditions such as–“

The genius boy halted his speech when he saw the chagrin on Morgan's face and Garcia's giggling. Spencer realized then, he had ranted again.

Penelope put her arms around the shoulders of the two men. “How about some coffee while we let Lizzy rest? Then we’ll come back,” she suggested cheerily, then turned to Derek, “You look like you could use some hot stuff, hot stuff.”

***

“Derek, you shouldn’t just drop everything for me. You’ve done so much already,” Elizabeth whined as her tall, handsome friend opened the door of his passenger seat and helped Liz out. He only loosened his hold on her when he was sure that she could stand steadily on her crutches. Even then, he refused to fully let go of her until he was sure she was well seated. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Shush, sweetness. You speak like we don’t know each other. I got some vacation days saved up, so it's no problem,” he reassured, planting a kiss on the side of her head, making her blush slightly. “Besides, I am actually looking forward to spending time with you. You see, one of these days you might need my help with changing clothes or getting into the shower…” he teased her, his playful eyes danced with mischief, “...or keep you entertained. Believe me, woman. I have so many ideas.”

She elbowed his side in revenge, giggling. “Oh, you shush. You’re such a tease, my chocolate knight,” Lizzie said with a pretty blush.

As they walked inside Elizabeth’s apartment building, his teasing continued. “Baby, I’m being serious. All you need to do is ask,” he hinted with an attractive wink that made Elizabeth’s stomach turned with nervousness. Now that he had openly confessed to her how he felt about her, suddenly Elizabeth couldn’t handle his suggestive teasing as calmly as she used to anymore. Instead, her treacherous body zinged with such promise; her cheek dusted with pink. Derek smirked handsomely; he obviously noticed her shyness, and continued his sweet torture on her. “Besides, you did say you’d give me a chance, remember?”

They came up to the lobby, and just her luck–the elevator was out of service–again, and it meant they had to climb the stairs to get to Liz’s apartment on the third floor. She stared at the emergency stairs of the building, mentally preparing for a workout and some possibility of her ending up back to the hospital if by chance she misstep and stumbled down the stairs.

“Hell, no,” Derek muttered in disgust.

Elizabeth grinned and shrugged.

Derek wasn’t going to let her climb all the way up there with that limp on her leg. He turned to her. “Give me your crutches, one by one, and put your hands on my shoulders. We’re dancing, baby," he announced. 

A chuckle left Lizzie. “Please no, Derek. You’re going to carry me up to my place? No, honey. I’m denser than I look, you know?” she said, biting her lip.

Derek’s chocolate eyes unwittingly glued a moment to her pink lips. He hadn’t even kissed her yet, and it’s been days since his confession to her. He sighed. “Cookie. I lift at least two hundred and fifty pounds at the gym. You’ll feel like a sack of flour to me,” he pointed out, drawing a laugh from the red head, “…a very sexy, irresistible sack of flour,” he added with a low, seductive hum as his eyes scanned her form.

The way he looked at her reminded her of Jonathan. But when Jonathan’s gaze made her feel uneasy and scared, Derek’s gaze made her feel rather giddy and nervous–but also safe. She blushed again, and she cursed inwardly at her body's uncontrollable response to Derek’s teasing. Damnit.

“Come on now, mami. Come to papi,” Derek taunted with a cheeky smile, tapping his sculpted chest as he signaled for her to switch her weight to him.

Elizabeth released her hold on her crutches one by one and held on to his shoulder for balance as Derek helped her put aside the crutches. “I’ll come back for them,” he told her gently, his eyes tender as he looked at her.

Now that the woman was standing so close to him, with her hands on his shoulder and chest, sweet hazel eyes looking up at him expectantly, Derek felt as if his IQ had dropped at least by fifty points. Those eyes clearly disarmed him–she might as well brought him to his knees. For a while, he seemed to forget how to breathe normally. With her being so close, her warm apricot scent was wafting to his nostrils, teasing him with want. Suddenly he wanted nothing at the moment but to taste and kiss her.

Everywhere.

“Derek?” her small voice was laced with doubt, and it was what slowly broke him out of his intoxication with her. Getting no response, she tried again. “Angel of mine?”

“Yours, baby,” he replied solemnly, silently in awe at how accurate that response was all these years.

He was, utterly and irrevocably, hers.

Without warning, the man swept her off her feet. Elizabeth yelped in surprise and in a little bit of panic, having never been held like that for a long time. Instinctively she circled her right arm along the back of Derek’s neck and shoulders. He began climbing the stairs, deliberately slow, intended on making the climb last as long as possible, so he could savor her warmth and the way her soft curves melded perfectly against his body.

He gave her a boyish grin. “Were you scared?” he teased her adorable yelp earlier. “I promise I’m not gonna drop you, sweetheart.”

“You better,” she threatened with a smirk.

The two of them smiled playfully at each other as Derek held her in his arms. Their faces were mere inches away. He could feel her sweet breath fanning against his cheek softly; she could smell the intoxicating mixture of his aftershave and his signature Derek scent–it made her head swim and her body tingled.

Suddenly Elizabeth became very aware of where their body touched: she felt him on her back and the right side of her body, her thigh and under her legs. Derek was solid, hard bodied and hot against her–quite literally and figuratively. He was everything she wasn’t, and he felt wondrous against her.

Derek had positively turned mushy when he felt her nuzzling his neck, and her breath tickling his now sensitive skin. His stomach turned; his heart was raging inside him–in the best way possible.

By the time they reached their destination, it was Elizabeth’s task to unlock her door, while Derek's both hands were preoccupied with supporting her weight. With the way they were clung to each other, fishing for her keys from her pocket and unlocking the door became quite a frustratingly difficult task. Derek ended up having to maneuvered her at a certain angle, and Elizabeth had to concentrate really hard just to insert the key to the keyhole. They ended up giggling and chuckling at each other.

“A bit more, down, down.”

“A bit more and we’ll end up being on the floor, cookie. Just get it done already.”

“Stop moving around–“ she cackled in amusement.

Derek, who mostly alpha male in most situation, couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him.

“I will when you stop wriggling in my arms, little girl!”

Mr. Anderson, the old, grumpy man living next door from her apartment, noticed the exchange between the two.

“Hey, Mr. Anderson!” Elizabeth greeted cheerily from behind Derek’s shoulder. Derek followed her eyes and smiled warmly at the elderly.

“Dawson.” Mr. Anderson's response was as expected. Curt with nothing but a nod. He stopped briefly, simply to adjust the glasses that had slid down the bridge of his nose, before moving on with his walk slowly.

Mr. Anderson had always assumed that Elizabeth was a lesbian, and he had lived peacefully ever since she moved in as his neighbor. But now that she evidently was not, the wrinkly old man with white hair and rectangular glasses sighed inwardly to himself. He was too old for this already–he hoped Ms. Dawson and her hunky boyfriend won’t behave like rabbits day and night.

The walls were thin, and he needed his nap!

***

[Author’s Note: 🤣 I really enjoyed writing Mr. Anderson! Who else is with me??? The title, Derek Begins, was for lack of better title lol. Anyone has better ideas maybe? Stay tuned for more fluff and revelations! And thank you so much for reading this far and loving this book with me. Your votes and comments keeps me going. I really appreciate you, even you who are silent readers! Thank you! ❤️]