hi im sorry for not updating for a long time.  i lost someone in my family. sorry to keep u waiting without notice. it was all so sudden and my workload in uni wasn't really helping my situation at all so i had to skip updating. i'll make it up to you, but not this time bc this is quite short. im really tired, i'm so sorry

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"minseul, wait up!"

as soon as minseul turned, mingyu grabbed her arm to pull her in for a hug. the two of them were just on the sidewalk and normally, minseul would pull away because it's embarrassing. however, there were almost no people outside their homes. hopefully, none of the members are spying on them.

"are you okay?" mingyu asked

"yeah."

"you looked very uncomfortable. so when you left, i followed," the boy said as he smiled, "i hope i'm not being a disturbance."

"you're not," minseul answered and grabbed his hand. "let's go for a short walk, i want to keep my mind off things. it's so stressful in the house and soonyoung isn't really helping."

"does it hurt you?"

"i'd say it hurts less now, can you believe it?" minseul chuckled and looked back at him as she was in front, leading the way. mingyu only trailed behind and let her drag him by his hand. "it hurt a lot when it was all new. but i feel a little better. maybe because i can tell you things and i know you're here to listen."

"well i'm glad i'm useful," the boy happily replied.

"you're never useless, mingyu."

"so are you."

the pair walked until they reached a small, empty park just at the corner of the street. there was a set of seesaws, an adventure course painted in soft pinks and blues and a swing set, which minseul excitedly ran to. mingyu was creeped out by the slow creak of the swings and the quietness that covered the place. nevertheless, he followed minseul to her spot.

he sat down on the swing just next to her. mingyu couldn't even enjoy the damn thing because his legs are too long.

"minseul."

"yeah?"

"i'm sorry."

"about what?" the girl asked. she didn't know what mingyu was saying. there's really nothing to be sorry about.

"soonyoung hyung shouldn't be doing this to you."

"no, that's okay, i was lacking anyway."

"no, don't say that!" mingyu reacted, "you're so good to him, almost too good."

"i'm not. soonyoung was the one who was really nice to me. i'd be back at my mom's right now if it wasn't for him...and not just that, gyu. soonyoung is really kind. i know he's been different lately but i believe he doesn't want to act that way," the girl replied "he's a softie, you know?"

mingyu only pursed his lips and nodded. she has a point, he thought to himself. soonyoung must be putting on a show to hide the regret and guilt he's feeling for hurting minseul. he loved her, he really did. it'd be impossible to not regret.

"do you still like him?"

"of course. but like i said, it hurts less now. i guess i've gotten numb."

"what plans do you have if you ever break up?"

minseul paused for a second. honestly, she has no clue of what to do if ever soonyoung breaks up with her. one thing's for sure though, she wouldn't get herself into another relationship right away.

she looked at mingyu, who seemed to be patiently waiting for an answer. "i don't have plans," she mumbled, "what do you think i should do?"

"it simple, enjoy your own company for a while. it'll be really fun."

"yeah, but i guess it'd be hard to do such thing in a place where i see soonyoung's face everyday."

"i'd take you home, but i live very far and i don't have a spare space."

"it's okay, gyu. i will be fine."

minseul sighed. she's sure there will be a breakup soon. because of this, she trying her best to prepare herself and not think about it too much. it took days, but now she worries less. she's the type to feel her emotions strongly so it's a miracle how she was able to somehow downplay the situation with soonyoung.

there's just nothing else she can do but accept it. the moment soonyoung told her they need a break, she felt like the relationship is really going to fall apart. she doesn't know why, still...and she hates that. she hates that she's not deserving enough to know what goes on in soonyoung's mind, what he feels and how complicated it is.

somehow, even after all the mean or fake things soonyoung did and said to her, she still loves to see him happy or laughing. she can never get soonyoung's smile out of her mind.

it's lovely, but at the same time it's hurting her, all because she isn't the reason for his happiness anymore.

"so...a penny for your thoughts?"

minseul laughed at mingyu. "sorry, my thoughts aren't worth a penny," she smiled. the boy had a pout on his face as he stood up and walked behind minseul to gently push her on the swing.

"geez you look extra tall standing like that while i'm sitting down," minseul looked upwards and mumbled, while mingyu flicked her forehead. "ouch! what the hell!?" the girl stood up and started chasing mingyu around the playground.

it was an obstacle. mingyu could easily step over some small seesaws and courses while minseul had to go around the whole thing to catch up.

"hey get back here!"

"why don't you catch up first!?" mingyu laughed out loud. minseul's face went red because of embarrassment—she knew she wouldn't be able to chase someone with legs like mingyu's.

at some point, the boy slowed down on purpose so minseul could finally get to him.

"aha!" she engulfed mingyu in a tight hug while his arms made their way around her waist.

"okay, you got me. but i slowed down on purpose."

"ah shut up."

"if you can shut me up!"

without even thinking, minseul tiptoed to get closer to mingyu's face, but she fell back on her heels in a second. "it's hard to tiptoe, you're too tall," she chuckled.

"i can adjust. you could just ask, you know."

mingyu's hand was right below minseul's face as he leaned in to press his lips against hers. he did the move on purpose, and it seemed very casual, but somehow it still felt unexpected. not just to him, but to minseul too.

she went with it anyway. it was slow and innocent, still.

mingyu was the first to pull away, just when minseul was getting the hang of it. she was definitely disappointed when he stopped.

"what even is this whole thing?" mingyu chuckled

"i don't know."

"well i don't either."

"it feels kinda weird though. i feel like we're being watched."

mingyu looked around. there was nobody anywhere at all, thankfully. "no one's watching. that's just you worrying," he mumbled while minseul sighed in relief. she then tiptoed once more to give mingyu another kiss. and this time, it lasted longer.

mingyu felt it was wrong, but he couldn't bring himself to stop minseul. he just waited for her to pull away.

"hey, l-look," he stuttered, "i don't want to take advantage of the situation."

"you're not really taking advantage of anything. it's fine."

"d-do you even like me, minseul?"

minseul paused to think. she only had soonyoung in mind, and it felt weird that she was still thinking about him when she just kissed mingyu a few seconds ago.

"i don't know yet, gyu. will you let me like you though?"

"i mean..." mingyu looked down to avoid the girl's gaze. "you know what? let's just head home and save this for another time! the boys must be waiting for us, don't you think?"

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"LISTEN! nobody is leaving the fucking group!" seungcheol yelled just before the front door flew open. minseul stepped in, wondering what the ruckus was about. curious, she hurried to the dining room where all the boys were.

they all had an unexplainable expression painted on their faces. seungkwan was standing behind an angry seungcheol while jihoon was on the other side of the room, crying as soonyoung and wonwoo consoled him.

"woah woah what the fuck is going on?" mingyu asked

nobody said a word.

"aren't you going to say something? did a fight happen?" minseul broke the silence.

"well, ye—"

"no," jihoon answered, laughing as he wiped his tears with his sleeve. the rest of the boys looked surprised. "no, it was just an argument over a game. i was overreacting," jihoon continued

"huh?" both mingyu and minseul were confused. everyone watched jihoon walk towards the door, still wiping his tears away. then he stopped and looked back at everyone with a smile.

he chuckled, "i'm sorry for the dramatic reaction. i don't mind that you beat my high score, seungkwan. it's all good now. i'm over it."

mingyu and minseul, along with the rest of the boys, were confused. but seungcheol quickly picked up on what jihoon was trying to do.

"see? it's just a stupid game! no need to kill each other over that!" he pretended to scold everyone.

"ah, yes," joshua nodded, "but don't call crash bandicoot stupid, jihoon might come back here to kill you instead."

the boys laughed. some looked really awkward and uncomfortable (hint: it's soonyoung)

"all that, for a game?' minseul asked

"yeah, crazy huh?" junhui laughed, "we weren't expecting it too. it escalated quickly. it's a shame you didn't see four of us trying to hold jihoon back from fighting—"

"oh my god can you shut the fuck up junhui?" minghao cut him off and even gave him a look that definitely meant something. whatever it meant, minseul had no idea.

she just sighed. it's not like something like this is unlikely to happen. in the end, she believed it was all because of a game.

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they're all liars at this point amirite