I lay in bed, tangled up in the sheets while tossing and turning. The weight of Ian's confession keeps haunting me and is depriving me from my sleep. I never knew he felt that way, not even back in the days when we were sort of dating. I always thought that we were just having fun and that we would see where the ship sailed.

Never go to sleep angry, that was the deal he and I made back when we were still best friends and nothing happened in the romantic way. How I wish we can go back to then, when there was no party, no baby, no awkwardness and no loaded confessions. When there was only hanging out, eating pizza and watching Suits on Netflix. When life was simple.

The words of Ian's confession keep running through my mind. How is it possible that I've never noticed it before? How was it possible that we've both been in New York for the past three years but didn't know it?

All these questions make me dizzy but the question that haunt me most is: why did the kiss feel right when everything was so wrong? Why did his confession sound as music to my ears? Why do I want him to be here in bed with me, holding me till I fall asleep?

And then I remember the way I felt in the car, before the migraine. I remember the way his scent filled the car, the way his muscles flexed while he drove the car. I remember seeing the profile of his face while his eyes focused on the road. I remember the gut feeling I had then, the tingles.

"I screwed this up." I mumble to myself. Never go to sleep angry. The words run through my head again. Would he still be awake? Back then neither of us could sleep when we thought the other was mad.

I need to talk to him. Deciding to take my chances, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, my feet connecting to the wooden floors. Pushing myself out of the bed, I grab an elastic and tie my wavy brown hair that is now a tangled mess in a ponytail before I make my way to the door.

I cross the hallway and take one more deep breath before I raise my hand and knock on Ian's door. Not waiting for an answer, I open the door and peek inside only to see Ian's back facing me. I stay there, leaning against the doorframe to listen to his breathing. His breaths are deep and steady, meaning he's asleep.

Throwing all my original plans and morals over board, I take another step inside and close the door behind me. Knowing Ian, he is a fast sleeper. The fire alarm could go off and he wouldn't even notice. Keeping that in mind I follow my gut and move over to the bed.

I take one final look on Ian's face to confirm he really is asleep before I lift up the covers and slide in. Beside me, Ian stirs in his sleep and turns to face me. Praying to the powers above, I hope he won't wake up till the sun is up. And with just my luck...

"Kat?" He mumbles, his voice muffled by his pillow.

Shit! He woke up. "I'm sorry, I will just go back to my own room." I am lifting back up the covers to get myself out of the bed but I'm stopped by his arms wrapping around me and pulling me closer to his chest.

"Just sleep here and we will talk about it tomorrow." He says and presses a light kiss on my forehead. I feel myself relax in his hold and hear his breath going slow and even. I listen to the steady beat of his heart before I let out a breath of relieve and slowly drift off to sleep myself.

-

I wake up to find the space behind me is empty. Was it all a dream? I then look around the room and realize none of my own stuff is in here, so I must be in Ian's room. That means I didn't dream about the happenings of last night, they are true. But where is Ian at?

The door to the attached bathroom opens and there he stands, leaning against the door frame while watching me. "Good morning, sleepyhead." He says with a smile apparent on his face. "Did you have a good sleep?" He still leans against the doorframe, already showered and dressed.

I sit up straight in the bed and look him in the eyes. "Ian... I-I-I I don't know what to say." I feel my cheeks turning red and my eyes filling up with tears. Looking down at my fingers, trying to avoid direct eye contact with the guy who proclaimed his love to me last night. I just ignored him and gave him some sort of a silent treatment. He put his heart on the line and I just stomped on it, I feel so ashamed of myself.

I am so lost in my own head that I don't notice Ian moving from the bathroom door until I feel his weight on the mattress in the spot beside me. "You don't have to say anything. Just answer this one question for me. Why did you come to sleep with me?" His eyes lock into mine and I immediately try to advert my gaze but am stopped by Ian. With his finger under my chin, he forces me to look him directly in the eye. "Why, Kat?"

My heart beats fast and I almost fear it will burst out of my chest. This is the moment I have to come clean about the things I feel and think, and it's scaring the shit out of me.

"I came here because it felt like the right thing to do. You feel right to me when everything else feels so fucked up and wrong." I say as I start playing with my fingers to distract me from getting lost in my thoughts again. "I guess I just miss the way we were supposed to be. Just relaxing together, eating pizza, binge watching series on Netflix. Just you and me, no secrets between us, no drama. Just Ian and Kat."

Ian moves his hand on top of mine to stop me from fumbling, a move that only results in me playing with his fingers. "We can always go back to being just that. All you have to do is stop pushing me away. You have to let me in on things that bother you. I'm here for you Kat, I have always been there for you but you wouldn't let me in."