"Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you, I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call, you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least, I can say that I've tried
To tell you, I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore."

**A bit before, in Dumbledore's Office**

Albus Dumbledore's mental wheels kept circling around at a crazy pace without a single moment of calm silence. As if in a trance, his gaze was fixed on Fawkes, the phoenix covered with feathers of fire, who looked dreadfully worned up for the past few days.

The chosen-one returned to the land of the living in a matter of hours.

The wise headmaster's mind was in complete turmoil, trying to make sense of everything and place the pieces of the puzzle together.

If Harry had died, then surely he's free from the darkness within?

But, Voldemort was still able to possess him, invading his mind in attempt to unhinge it once and for all.

Albus blinked, directing his attention back to the swan-sized Fawkes who suddenly caught fire. Dumbledore remained calm without a flicker of surprise as though he knew it was time for this to happen.

He let out a sigh as his eyes fell on the black flames that were once his most loyal bird.

His messed-up mind leading him, Albus opened the drawer on his right to pull out a black ring from between the pages of a destroyed book.

Ink had never been spilled on the delicate paper of what was once Tom Riddle's diary, but instead the cells of the book held dark magic between its lines.

Behind his moon spectacles, Albus' sharp eyes pierced the ring as though trying to see through it. His eyes widened, noticing a carved symbol on the ring... he immediately knew what it entailed.

Right between his hands was the third and last line of the triangular shape of darkness. Heaviness spilling through his body, Albus felt both reminiscent on old mistakes and fearful from upcoming terrors.

Such an intense and extraordinary moment it was.

The realization that he had united the Elder wand in his right hand with the holed circle depicting the Resurrection stone, which was resting on his left hand, forced Death to label Albus Dumbledore as its superior -although still not its utmost master.

And just like that, Albus had reached his old ambitious goal only when he was no longer running after it with worned-out limbs or even wishing for it to come true anymore.

He was no longer power-thirsty, instead drunk with emotional weakness.

And that was the curse, blessing in disguise, reminding him of what he had lost: the broken family he had destroyed with his own hands and the man he was forced, against his true will, to overpower and defeat.

And he remembered what he truly wanted to happen but still had always gripped him with horror.

I don't blame you, Al... even though Aberforth does...

That soft reassurance sent from the reflection of Ariana's, his long-lost sister, sincere eyes was the most desperate desire of his heart.

It wasn't a pair of Christmas socks, as he had claimed to Harry back then, that had appeared when the Mirror of Erised was all his.

Instead, however, it was his yearning for his own family that would make his heart complete... And that's why Albus understood Harry's dwell on phantoms of the mirror that reflected what they could sacrifice themselves for, family.

As of now, Dumbledore grew immensely fascinated with something a bit more powerful... that maybe he could bring back his loved ones from the dead.

Albus Dumbledore --the greatest wizard in the world that even Tom Riddle would shiver with fear at the mere mention of him-- was just desperate to free himself from the unvoiced call for forgiveness.

Dumbledore was powerful, yes, to lead an army against the external darkness... yet extremely vulnerable from the horrors creeping from his own mental shadow.

Albus had the strongest urge to latch the ring with his body as if they were one, hoping to reunite his family once again.

Dumbledore closed his eyes in pain, his mind still picturing the dreadful scene that took Ariana, his beloved sister, away from him.

A burst of emotional determination filling him up, Albus wished with all his might it wasn't just false hope.

With his wrinkled hand shaking, the man who had been always known for his wisdom was just about to wear the ring on one of his long fingers.

Silently creeping and watching over its senior in status, Death didn't want to comply, at least not yet.

A door knock made its way to his ears, forcing the headmaster out of his thoughts and pausing his mission.

"Come in," Albus cleared his throat and spoke in a forced calm voice. Before the door opened, he placed the ring safely where it belonged above the bloody hole of the dark book, closing the drawer once again.

***
"Headmaster, I have fresh news concerning one of the students." Snape spoke in a low voice, readying himself to recount what he knew about a certain blonde Slytherin.

"Ah, Severus," Albus interrupted, holding his hand up for silence. "I trust whatever you bring would be of vital importance, but you have to know what happened first."

Snape felt offended but remained silent, not daring to voice any of his frustrations. With a heavy sigh, he sat on the chair opposite to the headmaster.

The two words Albus uttered, "Harry died," was the last thing hitting Snape's eardrums before he was left in a shocked stupor.

Snape felt his mind freeze with the bitter realization that he had once again failed Lily, his Lily.

Through the stretched on silence, Dumbledore studied the pained expression flickering across Snape's face. Albus was aware of the nature of thoughts taking over and blocking the mind of the Potions Master.

"Severus... Severus, please," Albus said quietly, watching Snape's eyes dim and face unfreeze.

Snape shook his head, his greasy hair grazing the side of his cheeks. "He didn't have to just rush into danger, to death. Black wasn't even there." His hissing voice broke, the irritated words dying in his throat.

Severus had now broken the promise he took with himself after Lily's departure... to protect the boy from the thin line between life and death in which he had always trapped himself in.

"That boy always proved to me that he never deserved any of the glorifications he received. Just like his father, arrogant--" Snape sneered in an unemotional tone, disregarding the slight traces of grief in the depth of his black eyes.

Albus sighed, shaking his head. "Severus, hear me out, will you?" He cut in with kindness shaping his unusually stern voice.

Snape felt a knot tighten in his stomach, falling silent. His narrowed eyes searched into that of Albus, but for once Snape couldn't read his mind.

Suffocating silence encompassed the tense air. Before Dumbledore steadied himself to reveal Harry's reawakening, a soft sound took him away from his thoughts. His blue eyes twinkled when it landed on Fawkes who was being reborn from the ashes.

"Harry is alive now," Albus said calmly, a smile etched on his aging face. "How? is still beyond me," the headmaster hesitated, shrugging.

The faintest of smiles lingered on Severus' curled lips. He felt relief wash over him, knowing that her sacrifice wasn't in vain.

Closing his eyes momentarily, Snape pictured the ever-lasting image that never changed or left him alone, the angelic face of the only woman he'd ever loved: fiery red hair swinging behind her bright face, with a flushed blush painting her cheeks and rose lips smiling warmly at him.

Snape was desperate to not only wish but also believe that the love sparkling in her emerald eyes was only directed to him, Severus himself.

"Harry is alive, but... only for now," said Albus, stressing on his last words, a frown of pain etched on his face.

Slightly taken off-guard, Snape resented being snatched back from his own paradise.

"Sir?" Snape asked slowly, arching a cold eyebrow upward.

"The dark entity that had latched itself on Harry must be destroyed beyond magical repair." Albus spoke in agony and determination, the worry lines on his face becoming more prominent with every word.

"Is that so?" Snape breathed, still attempting to contain his desperation deep down, but he felt the mask he wore for so long fall and slide down his face.

"My theory follows what was foretold by the prophecy, remember what it said, Snape?" Albus asked his double-edged follower, who had a history in the dark arts, in what seemed to be an innocent tone.

Snape flinched, feeling a fierce hand slapping his face. Breathing heavily, Severus felt the blood run cold in his veins, with guilt flickering across his face.

Being reminded by one of the biggest mistakes he'd ever done scarred his already shattered heart.

Severus self-loathed the misled deatheater who was the one revealing to the Dark Lord the words he heard from that dreaded prophecy, without knowing it was about her son.

Snape had a role in the loss of the most precious life, Lily's... and only for that, he would never forgive himself.

"You see, Severus, neither can live while the other survives... and with dark magic still in existence holding Voldemort to life like gravity, I am afraid Harry doesn't stand a chance now," said Albus, a heavy sigh escaping him.

Out of his care for Harry, Dumbledore still hoped with all his might that something, anything, could prove his theory wrong.

But with a sickening sensation, Albus knew there was no other way out of this war, which had already ensured enough destruction.

"One of them will have to kill the other, it's essential that Voldemort himself must do it, not any of his deatheaters... like what happened," said Albus, feeling his eyes sting with fresh tears.

"The boy must not die," Snape spoke in a tone of finality, fear spilling from his lips.

Albus tilted his head in amazement, studying the distraught Severus. "Don't tell me now that you've grown to care for him, after all this time?"

"Don't you understand? I only care for her, for Lily. I don't want her to have died for nothing," exploded Snape, waves of pain rolling over him.

"I-I didn't even wanted her to have died at all."

Snape's voice broke, following the example of his heart that had already been broken ages ago.

**(flashback)**

Snape's thoughts drifted to the memory he dreaded the most... the heart-wrenching moment his eyes landed on Lily's lifeless body, with her arms wide open acting as a shield for what she thought was more important than her own life.

He wasn't even aware that he'd dropped to his knees beside her, hopelessly calling out for her in severe desperation... but to no answer, just painful silence. Since a very long time, he felt warm water slipping down his cheeks.

Snape's heart fell with a loud bang, as he registered the vanishing of the fiery light from her bright eyes. In vain, Snape tried to silence the nagging voice ensuring him that he'd eternally miss those eyes till his dying breath.

What stabbed his heart even more was the prospect that she didn't even feel his presence when he -for the first time in years- grasped her icy hand with his shaky ones.

He gently stroked her hair, which was in strong resemblance of the colour and the flow of thick blood. Caressing her face -that held flickers of pain- with his trembling hands, Severus let the tears fall for once without any constraints.

No words of grief were spoken, just silent sobs echoing within his entire being.

With a heavy heart, Snape closed her eyes, which had faded into a dull green staring lifelessly into the distance. And, this was more than enough to break his very existence.

Silencing his senses, Snape didn't even register the desperate cries erupting from the baby who tightly held the bars of his crib with his small fists.

Nothing mattered to him, not anymore.

Holding Lily's body upward and hugging her close, Severus made her sink in his arms, believing that close to his chest -in his heart- was where she belonged.

But, eventually, he was forced to let her go... And, he died in the process of leaving her behind.

She went away... and snatched his heart-strings along with her deceased soul, leaving him utterly heartless.

He had lost Lily, forever. But she never really left him, instead remained always with him. Always.

**(end of flashback)**

Snape unfroze his face, snapping himself -from his grieving virtual life in which he'd been always stuck in- back to his intensely overwhelmed reality.

Snape sighed grimly, clearing his mind from his racing murderous memories. Effectively mastering mind control, Snape tried to practically focus on thinking over the words Dumbledore had just given him.

Decades of echoing silence encompassed the air in a heavy progression of time. It was only broken by Snape furiously rising from his chair and pointing his finger accusingly at Dumbledore... a single thought had stricken a nerve.

"You knew all along that the boy would have to die?" Snape asked, without waiting for a reply. "You, you made me risk my life everyday to protect him and... that's all for nothing." His voice was an octave higher than his usual sneering hiss.

"Severus, you tell me, what should have been done? Just throw a baby off a cliff, and it would have ended so easily. But no, I've done what is right, not what was easy," said Albus, irritation greatly evident in his tone, provoking a snort from Snape who looked away.

"Harry was given the opportunity to acquire magical skills to efficiently protect himself and all those he cared about, to make him ready for... when he is forced to take his final breath." Albus continued as calmly as he could master, eyeing Snape carefully.

Not caring about Dumbledore's will to keep Harry safe, Snape was angered for being a puppet tool.

Snape whipped his head to stare at him accusingly. "You manipulated me, leaving me live the biggest lie ever," he spoke in a dangerous voice, trying to constrain his fury from taking over.

"You played your part very well, Severus, protecting Harry without him even knowing, not to mention, deceiving one of the... darkest wizards of all time," said Albus, in appreciation of Snape's bravery.

"I am not yours, Dumbledore. I am not the Dark Lord's even." Snape highlighted every word spoken, as overwhelming rage and equally intense grief radiated from him.

Despite not wanting to hear such words from Severus at all, Albus wasn't offended, already expecting such a reaction from him.

Snape always had the battle between light and darkness dismissively at the backstage of his mind, labelled as not of any importance.

Albus couldn't help but see the tears gathering at the edge of Severus' -once dead- eyes. He was wise enough to know that Snape's mask had fallen, and all the despair that lied underneath rose forth to the surface.

"All what I did, for years, was for Lily, and her only... for maybe one day she'd forgive me," said Severus, emotion evident in his tone, stopping his lower lip from wobbling.

Protecting what she died for, Severus was desperate to make up for what broke between them.

The hope to be forgiven latched itself to his heart. The tones of music always rang in his mind, as she would say, "I forgive you, Sev."

Was it too much to ask after all the suffering he went through and had to endure?

***
Albus sighed gravely and threw hurtful words in spite of his better judgment. "How could she forgive you, when you have been constantly ridiculing her own son, the very same boy you claim of protecting?"

A frown etched on his face, Snape didn't have the willpower to argue over how Dumbledore came about to know of his abusive skills.

"Not much escapes my notice, Severus," said Albus knowingly yet adopting a gentle tone, as he engaged in mind-reading.

The bitterness of the statement blew up Snape's mind like helium would do to a balloon. The unbearable possibility of Lily not forgiving him -even after all this time- kept on stabbing him repeatedly to death.

Apart from declaring her love to him which was never granted to his desperate heart, her forgiveness was the only miraculous gift Severus had ever hoped for...

But, now, Snape was even denied of the only prospect that could have lessened the overwhelming weight of guilt already breaking his shoulders.

"I can't help it... he's so like his father," whispered Snape, his gaze fixed at the ground, feeling overly disgusted at the mere mention of him.

His thoughts slowly flew to the moment he'd lost everything, when what he believed to be his Lily chose James Potter over him... the moment he had nothing in his hands to do but to helplessly watch his entire life crumble just before his eyes.

Snape tried, but failed, to disregard the waves of uncontrollable rage and jealousy that darkened his heart, whenever he saw or even thought of the love of his life being around someone else she loved...

Let alone, that someone being James Potter, bitter hatred would encompass Snape thinking of who he'd lost Lily to: the bully he despised and loathed with every bit of his heart.

"When you become the joke of the entire school, do you think that's ever easy to forget?" Snape inquired in a crossly irritated undertone that he didn't even attempt to hide, a sneer overcoming his expression.

Even if the Potter boy had nothing to do with that, Snape would still take it out on him, make him pay for being the son of a bully.

"James grew out of it, Severus, but unfortunately, you still couldn't," Albus said quietly, pitiful helplessness reflected in his piercing eyes.

"I see! So now the bully is again better than me, even when he is dead," Snape countered easily, anger oozing from his hissing voice. He was taken off-guard, though, by what Albus said next.

"Severus, it may have escaped your notice, but Harry is more like his mother..." Albus, knowing that Snape would never lose his argument about James, resorted to play the final Lily card.

"I never... it hurts me to scold him or utter a single insult while looking at Lily's, his, eyes." Snape spoke in a monotonous undertone, feeling pain ripping him apart from inside out.

"At least, not for the second time," continued Snape in a barely audible whisper, regret flickering across his face once again.

Snape had already messed up once and was still paying for tarnishing the image of the friend he once was to her.

Severus hated himself not for losing his temper, at the spur of the moment when he was overly humiliated, and calling Lily the most disgraceful word, mudblood.

Snape didn't even blame himself for the path he paved for himself as a newly admitted deatheater through getting fascinated and choosing the dark arts with free will.

But instead, Snape only loathed himself for being the reason of destroying every remaining shred of the respect and care Lily had once held for him.

Snape never failed to convince himself that it wasn't the wrong choices he took or what he actually did in his life that destroyed him...

But instead the consequence of being doomed to live with a broken relationship with Lily was what actually killed him, leaving him with grief as his one and only remaining friend.

--But the love held for her, echoing inside me, will keep breathing for eternity, Snape thought in agony.

***
Performing on the stage of memories, Snape gazed with his novel emotional eyes at the hollow picture of what had once been his happiness... the friendship she gave him, and the obsessive love he never stopped getting emotionally overwhelmed with.

A grey obsession, it had always been.

Lily's presence in his life was the only thing that empowered him to live through his abusive childhood, with minimal breakdown.

Severus marvelled at the only time he felt most alive, when she belonged to him. Her heart was with him, in his possession, before she smoothly slipped from between his hands that had held her tight.

Before drifting to the bliss of blackness every single night, even in his heavenly dreams, or as soon as his dark eyes would flow open, Severus always thought of her...

But he never dared to speak of her, not even to himself, out of fear that he would break down and have no one to console him. That left him with no alternative but to mask his emotional pain with indifference.

***
Snape remained silent for what felt like infinity. Albus could've sworn he saw Severus shed a tear, finally betraying his ever-lasting mask of cruelty in an explosion of various intense emotions.

And at this specific moment, Dumbledore grasped how some people -who seem to be evil- possess the ability to hide overwhelming internal tensions behind a poker-face...

They even fall into the trap of forgetting that they're in fact humans, who deserve to express, from time to time, their fragile vulnerability.

***
A pretty long A/N:

Now, listen well all of you! This chapter may have been a bit triggering to Snape-haters, sorry.

Trust me, at some points, it was *like ugghh* to me even... since I am a diehard Jily fan.

It is just, I wanted to dig deep into such a controversial... complex... grey character.

*deep breaths* I have no idea how I did it, but I put myself in Snape's shoes.. and, let's be honest, it was overwhelmingly challenging. Bec I wanted to beat him up! 💪💪

^^ on a less serious note, above is my reaction as the aftermath from what I've written ^^

Anyways, hope you enjoyed it. And, please leave feedback.

I tried to portray the dimensions of his character. It would be appreciated if you dropped a comment about how well, if at all, you really felt this was the Severus Snape we all know, with all the unvoiced mess within him.

This chapter was, of course, inspired from the Deathly Hallows, the Prince's Tale, at a different time frame.

As "always" don't forget to vote and comment :)

Stay tuned for the next update, soon? A teensy little spoiler: Sirius and Snape will meet again, now that would be fun!

Also, grant me your personal thoughts on Severus Snape as a person and a character? Whatever it is, I'll respect it.

As some of you already know, this story won First Place in the HPwizardingAwards making me the happiest ever... so thank you for sticking with the words I've created in my story. I am eternally grateful ♡♡♡