Alrighty, the summary of the triggering content last chapter for anyone that skipped: Bruce talked to Loki and Loki learns through the conversation that they purposely dropped off the bifrost. We learn that Loki's mind has been permanently damaged from the mind stone (i.e. memory loss of a suicide attempt) and on a nicer note, when Loki tells Bruce that Peter reminds them of Thor, Bruce figures out that this is why Loki so quickly attached themselves to the kid.
Sorry for not updating last Friday, things got hectic so I decided to wait until now to post. But don't worry, you're getting this week's chapter too!

tw: mentions of suicide attempt in passing.

-

Loki studied themselves in the mirror and finally understood what Bruce meant when he said she looked terrible. She was like a corpse, white as arsenic with hollow cheekbones and sunken eyes. Her hair hung lank and greasy behind her and she trembled like a leaf caught in a storm.

She turned away, disgusted with how she had let herself look so weak in front of others, and moved to the window, where she could see the sun setting on the horizon. She tried to remember what time of day it had been when they were removing the mind stone, but that detail in her memory wasn't there.

She was reminded of her previous memory loss, how she'd forgotten that she had willingly fallen from the bridge. Perhaps the mind stone was the cause. It had damaged her physically, it wouldn't be a stretch to say it could do the same to a person's mind. How much was she missing?

She suddenly felt the need to get some fresh air and decided she'd take a walk. No. Not a walk, she didn't want to be roped into any conversations. She opened the window outwards and called upon the universe to change her form. For a moment, all she could see was green light and could only feel a tingling sensation all over her body until both sensations stopped rather quickly.

She outstretched her wings and pushed herself upwards into the air. She had always enjoyed being a bird. There was something freeing about being able to fly.

For a while, she simply glided along the skies of Wakanda, letting herself calm down somewhat until she spotted two figures fighting on the ground below. She swooped down and perched on a tree close by.

The two figures were that of the Black Widow and General Okoye.

Romanoff had managed to get the general to the ground and had one knee on her chest. "You know, I could get used to having a beautiful woman underneath me." She said with a grin.

Okoye looked up at her with an easy smile that Loki had never seen on the woman in the short time she had known her. "Is that so?" It sounded like a challenge of sorts. Though Loki could not decipher what kind of challenge she was implying.

Romanoff leaned down, clearly intending to kiss the woman - and Loki was preparing to fly the Hel away from there - but Okoye grabbed her shoulders and twisted sideways. Quicker than lightning, the general had her foot planted firmly on Romanoff's abdomen.

"You're a good fighter, Natasha." She said. "But, I think, easily distracted."

Romanoff laughed and hit Okoye's leg gently twice. It seemed to be a sort of symbol for the two, as Okoye removed her foot and sat beside the Widow. "Can you blame me?"

"My face isn't the only thing distracting you though." Okoye said, her light tone easing into something more serious. "There's something on your mind."

Romanoff shrugged. "It's all this Thanos stuff. I mean, how are we going to defeat him? This is bigger than anything we've ever faced before. We barely defeated Loki - how are we going to stop an unstoppable space genocidist? And even if we do, how many people have to die to get that done?"

Okoye nodded. "Those are valid concerns. I myself am worried for Wakanda. Despite knowing that it's a strategic advantage in this fight, I am still somewhat... angered at T'Challa for choosing to bring the fight here. We may save the planet, but how many Wakandans are going to die? But if not here, where else? Do we choose another set of people to sacrifice?"

"This might be our last fight." Romanoff said. "In a week, we might all be dead."

"Even if we die, the mind stone is destroyed now. We can die knowing that Thanos can never get his hands on it."

"Thank god. That stone is an evil piece of shit." Romanoff said. "It made that Loren chick turn into another Loki in seconds. You don't think..?"

Loki felt her heart skip a beat.

"That Loki was under the stone's control?" Okoye finished. "I don't know. Barton would be the best one to make a guess. He's dead anyway, we don't need to worry about them."

"Could be alive." Romanoff shrugged. "He's already 'died' twice now."

"Let's hope not. We have enough on our plate."

"You should've heard the way Thor used to talk about him. Especially after he died saving his life. He treated the invasion Loki and his brother Loki like they were two different people."

"Maybe they were." Okoye suggested, though she sounded doubtful.

"Maybe." Romanoff said, sounding equally doubtful but a lot more nostalgic. She huffed and went back to lying on the ground. "God, I miss Thor. He was like a giant puppy. I could really use some of that optimism."

"And his lightning."

"That too."

There was a long pause before either of them spoke again.

"You still seem on edge." Okoye said.

"It's nothing."

The general frowned. "I'm sure it's more than that."

"I just... I feel like someone's watching us." Romanoff said. "It's silly."

"No, you're a spy. I trust your instinct over my own eyes and ears." Okoye said. "Do you really think someone is spying on us?"

The Widow lay stock still for a moment before she shook her head. "I don't know. I think I'm just paranoid."

"Paranoia is fairly justified right now."

Loki decided not to push her luck and flew off. She almost flew past an open window when she heard Peter's voice drifting through. She landed on the window frame in question and somehow went unnoticed by the room's two residents.

Shuri flicked through some holographic files until she found one that she wanted and ushered Peter towards her. "Look this one is a report from Thor. He said that Loki's idea of stopping a war was genocide. They tried to destroy an entire planet, Peter!"

"But Bruce said they came to save Asgard when they didn't need to." Peter interjected. It didn't sound like an argument, moreso like the two were trying to put together a puzzle.

"So they care about Asgard but will go take a huge leap off their moral compass to do so..." Shuri determined.

"Do you think they wanted to take over Earth?" Peter asked.

"I don't know..." Shuri said. "We know that they were affected by the mind stone from Hawkeye's reports and the footage from Loki's arrival matching the physical effects we saw on Loren after they grabbed the mind stone, but they have a history of genocidal tendencies and could have been willingly working with Thanos to survive."

"Is working with someone to save your own life really willingly working with someone?"

Shuri shrugged. "Well let's not judge the morality of that one just yet. We'll just leave it as a possibility. Loki did say they valued their life above everyone else's after all."

Loki quickly shifted back into their aesir form, crossing one leg over the other. "That was a partial lie."

Shuri jumped at the noise, shutting off her holographic display on instinct. Peter let out a yelp, jumped, and ended up hanging from the ceiling.

"Ai, you scared me, Hitler!" Shuri exclaimed. "How did you get in here?"

"I was a bird." Loki shrugged.

Peter finally dropped from the ceiling. "What do you mean 'partial lie'?"

Loki tried to keep her voice even. "I mean, Bruce has made me aware that I do not always put value on my life and that my fall from the bi-frost was not Thor's fault like I had suspected."

"You're telling us that you're... suicidal?" Shuri asked.

"It varies." Loki replied quickly. "Although that matters very little in the grand scheme of things. If you have any questions about my past, I'll try my best to answer them. It's only right when I'm asking you to trust I'll do the right thing."

Peter still looked concerned about the mention of suicidal thoughts, but Shuri spoke first. "Why did you try to destroy Jotunheim?"

Loki looked for a place to start. "Thor had started a war between Jotunheim and Asgard right when Odin fell into the Odinsleep. I thought it was the most logical way of preventing war and thought that by doing so, I'd make my father proud after so long living in my brother's shadow."

"So: daddy issues? That's your excuse? You didn't try to form a peace treaty?" Shuri pressed.

"I'm not trying to excuse anything. Besides, the frost giants were willing to break the peace treaty to get the casket of ancient winters back, who was to say they wouldn't do it again? They cannot be reasoned with."

"Cannot be reasoned with? Those are people you're talking about." Shuri said.

"They're not people, not really. They tried to invade your precious Midgard just like I did and killed millions. Asgardian children are raised terrified with the stories of their brutality, their lack of empathy, their frozen hearts..."

Shuri looked like she was about to explode. "So you're just racist then? Glad to see that white people in space are still just white people. These propaganda lies are true because your dad told you so? Have you ever had a casual conversation with a frost giant?"

"No." Loki said. "But I am one."

"Oh shit." Shuri said.

Peter looked just as surprised. "But you look just like Thor."

"So do you, and you're not Asgardian." Loki pointed out.

"Thor's described frost giants in the files we found though." Shuri added. "They're blue and have red eyes."

"And you're pretty small for a giant..." Peter said.

"Why would I lie?" Loki asked and the two shrugged in response. With a sigh, she let herself shift into her jotun form. It was a little freeing, being in her natural form, but she still found herself disgusted when she looked at her own hands and saw a bitter blue hue.

"Woah." Peter and Shuri said in unison.

"It's freezing," Shuri said, coming closer, "Is that you?"

"Yes." Loke nodded. "Don't come too close unless you want to catch frostbite."

"That's so cool!" Peter exclaimed. "The other Asgardians are like, aliens. But you're an actual alien alien. You're blue! That's awesome."

"It's horrific." Loki countered.

"Damn," Shuri said, "Asgard really fucked you up, huh? You don't look horrific, you look super cool."

"You could stay like this, you know." Peter said. "No one on Earth even knows about frost giants and if any of the Asgardians called you a monster, I'd punch them in the face."

"Peter." Shuri said. "We're still angry."

"Oh yeah," Peter replied, trying his best to put on a serious face, "We're still working out whether we can trust you or not."

"That's fair." Loki shrugged.

"Okay, so you tried to kill a planet because of internal racism and daddy issues and then threw yourself off a bridge because you're suicidal." Shuri said. "Do I have that right?"

"Shuri." Peter scolded her harshness.

"Yes, that sounds as accurate as it is simplified. Although, I also tried to murder Sif and the Warriors Three for committing treason, and killed my birth father Laufey."

"Bast..." Shuri muttered. "Why did you try to take over the Earth?"

"When I landed on the desolate moon Thanos claims to be his home, I was near death. I had fallen through the void for an eternity, which is neither good for a person's body nor mind. Thanos' people nursed me back to health. Thanos had an interest in me, I think. He thought I had the potential to be one of his 'children', he might well have considered me one, I can't remember too well. I was pitted against his other children, the Black Order. I was told that if I lost, I would be torn apart and have pieces of me replaced-"

"Did you?" Shuri asked, before clarifying. "Have you had any piece of you replaced?"

Loki thought back. "I... don't know." She shook her head. That was not a possibility she wanted to think about. "Anyway. I didn't want to become a robot like Nebula, so I cheated. Thanos was impressed with my scheming and magic and fighting skills, apparently, because he gave me an offer. If I got him the space stone, he would give me Earth."

"I wasn't really interested at first. Earth is so primitive after all. But I remember being left alone in a room with the mind stone every night. It obviously had some effects on my head, I mean, I can't even remember my own apparent suicide attempt. Eventually, I decided that allying myself with Thanos would work best for me. When I accepted the mind stone, everything that wasn't hatred for my family seemed to go fuzzy. All I wanted was to humiliate Thor and prove I was worthy enough to rule an entire realm. I was going to take over Midgard and then close down the portal to Thanos' realm. That way I'd be the ruler of a realm, I wouldn't have to worry about Thanos stabbing me in the back once he got his infinity stones back, and I'd have two stones to myself. Not to mention I could sense the time stone being somewhere on Midgard, so I assumed it would only be a matter of time before I got that too."

"But the mind stone had me so focused on revenge and winning... I wasn't planning ahead, and rarely used any magic or common sense. I was captured - the end."

"What about the convergence?" Peter asked. "Dr Jane Foster and Mr Thor both reported that you helped save them and sacrificed your life for Thor."

"The dark elves were going to change the fabric of the entire universe to make it uninhabitable for anyone except them. Which is fair enough, since that's what Odin did to them, but I didn't want to die. Plus, they killed my mother. I couldn't just let that slide."

"I didn't even sacrifice myself on purpose. I didn't expect the monster to do what he did... I was sure I was going to die and I think I might've for a bit, but then I was suddenly fine again. There was still a hole in my stomach and it definitely hurt, but I was alive. I assumed Thor could handle the dark elves on his own, so I decided to use my death to my advantage. I disguised myself as a soldier and caught Odin off-guard. I stripped him of his memories and sent him to Midgard, and then took the throne for myself."

"Alright. I'm going to simplify everything here and you correct me if I'm wrong." Shuri said and Loki nodded. "You tried to destroy a planet because of your identity and daddy issues and then tried to kill yourself. Then you teamed up with Thanos, killer of trillions because the mind stone made you focus on your hatred for your family, so you took it out on Earth. You saved the universe because you didn't want to die and you wanted to avenge your mother and then you legitimately sacrificed yourself, not knowing that you would survive. When you did survive, you decided to take the throne for yourself and booted Odin to Earth?"

"Yes," Loki shrugged, "That's about it."

Peter spoke. "So Thanos made you fight against other people and if you lost you'd slowly become a cyborg, and he made you lose some of your memories and got you to focus on the bad parts of your family and you thought he was probably going to backstab you and later he killed the brother that you sacrificed yourself for?"

"That's right." Loki confirmed.

"Shuri," Peter said, "I think they wants to kill Thanos, Bruce said the same."

"Yeah," Shuri agreed, "they want to survive and they also want to protect what's left of Asgard. If Thanos gets all the stones, Loki and the other Asgardians could die because of it."

Peter nodded and Shuri looked Loki dead in the eyes. "Listen, Loren. I think you're a pretty terrible person, but I also think that you're pretty messed up and maybe you need help more than you need punishment. I don't trust you. At all. But I think you do want to kill Thanos, so I won't tell anyone who you are until after we defeat him."

Loki nodded. "That's all I ask."

Then she looked to Peter.

"You've done some pretty terrible things, Loki." Peter said quietly. "But I think you're becoming a better person. I think you want to kill Thanos..."

Peter continued. "I trust you."