The key to writing chapters for me is to listen to sad or psychedelic music. It inspires me to write tragedies or greatness. It also connects me with the book more. Also, Trigger Warning!! ⚠️ this chapter has some Suicidal themes and some trauma about a Mental Hospital! So if you are sensitive to these topics, then I am sorry. Anyways, enjoy. . .
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I woke up feeling cold, lonely. I hated mornings. I feel as though it is a burden to wake up everyday because everyday is exactly the same. Nothing changes. It is always the same routine that we go through everyday. Why do we do this? Why do people make themselves a slave to money? We just waste our days making money just so we can spend it to satisfy our tongues and shit it out. Then we also spend it on something that we can make ourselves. Just live in caves or cut down trees. Why do we need permission to do that? Why do we need permission to do anything when we have the power to destroy the earth itself if we wanted to. Hell, I know that will make everything easier. No more stress, no more heartbreaks. No more death. No more betrayal. Just an eternity of peace and silence. It breaks my heart thinking about this. This is what we live for. We are all enslaving ourselves to a never ending cycle. Going in a Downward Spiral. Sometimes, I wonder what it will feel like to just leave this world and be in a dark void. I'd rather be surrounded by darkness than live restless to life's hardships.

Am I suicidal? No. I just hope that I will have a short and happy life. Enjoy my youth and bye bye suckers! No way I am letting people remember me as an old dried up raisin or as someone that can't run up the stairs. I want to be forever young. Living under my parents care, my father by my side. That is another reason why I want to go now. I want to join my father. I want to be with him so he knows that he won't be alone anymore. I don't want to live without him. I can't. I need him now more than ever. I wish I had a sister. A younger sister that can look up to me and talk to me. Someone that I can relate to and talk to as my best friend. I currently don't have anyone close to me. I need a sister more than ever. Her name would be Elena. She would probably look a lot like me and be blessed with curly hair. But oh well, this is my life. Nothing I can do to change it. No possibility of siblings. Just a life of misery.

Laura: "Mija wake up! You have work! Don't be a floja(Lazyass)!"
Rose: "Ay! Ok Mami! I am up!"
I quickly put on a black T-shirt with blue jeans. Then I put on knee high boots and drove to guitar center, my job. I am a musician. I have loved music ever since my dad showed me Gustavo Cerati, Coldplay (early Coldplay), and U2. Also some Caifanes and Charly Garcia. So yeah, music is what I still feel passion for. I've lost my love for everything except music. It is what keeps me alive. I turned on the radio and it played "In My Place" by Coldplay. A perfect song for a beautiful sunny morning.

I parked in my spot of the parking lot and got out my car. It was a guitar in the North side of Chicago. So it was huge and right by Home Depot as well. I love this store. I can play a guitar on the job! Now that I am 18 I can finally be able to work here. I've waited so long for this. Oh, and my coworker is coincidentally Nico! He was cool too! I still like him and I think he likes me too.
Nico: "Hey Rose, you ready for today?"
Rose: "Hell yeah! I was born ready!"
I then plugged in the guitar and played my usual warm up song. "In Limbo" by Radiohead. It has a beautiful guitar riff. Plus it was easy to do for someone who has played the guitar for 8 years! Damn, 8 years already.
Nico was staring at me in awe and he had a blush on his face. Yup, he definitely likes me. No doubt.
Nico: "So, uh. When can we go on that date you suggested? We never got to go since your incident and stuff"
He looked down nervously while scratching the back of his head.
Rose: "Well, we can go tonight! Maybe we can hang out at Café Tola!"
Café Tola is a great restaurant in the North Side of Chicago. Their empanadas and Tacos are authentic and delicious! They also sell Mexican inspired Coffee like Horchata coffee. I recommend if you ever stop by Chicago!
Nico: "Alright! Sounds good! I am up for anything you want!"
Rose: "Wow, really?? Ok!"
I blushed at him and he blushed as well.
Storm: "Ewww. Get a room you two!"
Rose: "Storm!!!"
Storm was my friend ever since kindergarten. We grew up together. Though we weren't best friends, we still kept in touch once in a while. She loved to tease me though. I was there when she had her phase of being a manly Lesbian. She grew out of that phase but she is still Lesbian. But, nevertheless, I still love her for being such a loyal friend.
And she was like 4 ft 11in tall. So I always make fun of her height hehe.
Nico: "Anyways! Let's open up the shop."
We opened up the guitar center and the customers started entering. It was a loooong day. It doesn't help that I worked full time. Then, I had 30 minutes left! That is until a certain someone walked in the shop. Lucifer. . .
Rose: "Oh, uh, Liam! What are you doing here??"
Lucifer(Liam): "Oh, I was just curious to check out this shop. I see this is where you work"
Rose: "Uh huh, why are you following me again?"
Nico: "Wait, again? Has this guy been stalking you??"
Lucifer(Liam): "Woah woah woah, stalking is a big accusation! I prefer the term, watching over her. Unlike you, I actually protect her from trouble that comes her way. You are not always there for her like I am."
Nico got very pissed.
Nico: "Listen to me asshole. I don't want you going anywhere near Rose anymore! You will leave her alone and stop stalking her!"
I hid behind Nico as he was yelling at Lucifer.
Lucifer(Liam): "Fine, I will leave her for now. But I will not leave her since she doesn't mind my company after all"
Then Lucifer walked out the shop, leaving a very confused and angry Nico.
Nico: "Ok, what the actual fuck was that about?! Has he hurt you before? Did he ever touch you where he shouldn't?? Oh God, I am horrible. I was never there to protect you. I don't deserve you."
Rose: "Hey! Listen to me Nico. You are fine. I am fine. We are both fine. You are not horrible, you just stood up for me right now. I owe you a thanks"
He just smiled and hugged me.
Nico: "I am so sorry Rose"
Rose: "What for?"
Nico: "Oh nothing, just for any future actions I may do that will leave you helpless. I know I can't always be there for you to help you. And I feel bad about that. Please forgive me"
Rose: "Of course I forgive you! How could I not?"
Nico: "Thank you Rose. Now, let's go on our date shall we?"
I nodded and we both stayed by each other while we walked out. We both went to our cars and drove to Café Tola. He offered to drive me but I said that I didn't want to leave my car out of sight. So now we are here, eating Empanadas de Tinga and drinking Cream Soda together. As we walked out he held my hand.
Nico: "Thank you for giving me a chance with you Rose. I am so lucky to have you"
Rose: "Of course Nico. So are we official now?"
Nico: "Yes, we are now babe"
He leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips. I've longed for the feeling of love for so long. I finally have a partner to love. Someone who cares about me. Someone who won't leave me broken and hospitalized. Unfortunately, that is what happened with Sean. He made me suicidal in my Freshman year. I felt self hatred since I thought I wasn't good enough for him. That maybe that is why he doesn't care about me. He always talked to other girls instead of me. They were all his friends, but he always preferred them over me. So I cut myself and had a plan to kill myself. After the school dance, go home, fake sleep. Wait until 2 AM and overdose on Ibuprofen. Wake up in purgatory in an empty void. But, my friend Valeria saw how broken I was and told the teacher. He sent me to the counselor and she sent me to the ER. I was then hospitalized at a mental hospital for a week. Lonely and without my family. I cried every night. Feeling empty and obsessing over Sean even more. It was a nightmare. But, that won't happen ever again. Nate cares about me and won't leave me like that. I am his world and he is my world. I won't feel empty with him. He then led me to my car and opened the driver door for me. I thanked him and we drove off to our homes.
Laura: "Well, what took you so long to get home?"
Rose: "Oh! Sorry! I was on a date."
Laura: "With who?? Was it that Liam boy! I am so happy for you!"
Rose: "No, it was with Nico"
Laura: "Oh. Well I am still happy for you! But you will be careful with him right? Nothing bad will happen with him?"
Rose: "Nope! I am sure of it!"
Laura: "Great! Now go to sleep Mijita"
She kissed my forehead and I went to my room. I closed the door and almost screamed at who I saw.
Rose: "Lucifer! Why are you in my room?!"
Lucifer: "Oh I am sorry, I just wanted to ask you something. What the actual fuck was that all about earlier?! You are acting like I am abusing you or something? I actually saved your life? Unless, I still scare you"
I just looked at him in fear. I went to a corner and shielded myself from him. But he never hit me. He just stared at me with sad eyes.
Lucifer: "I am so sorry if I ever scared you. Please forgive me"
Rose: "Why can't you just leave me alone! Get out of my life!! Please!"
He looked down and sighed.
Lucifer: "Ok, I understand. You just see me as a monster. I am so sorry. I will leave you be"
He then flashed a small smile at me then looked back down. And poof, he was gone. Finally, I am in peace. Now I know he will leave me alone. . .

Time skip. . . 1 year later. . .

Where did we lose our way? Why does this always happen to me? Am I cursed? Chained to a wall, I screamed as I saw the cult sacrifice Nico in front of me. I tried to close my eyes but they made me watch. I was currently picking the lock of the chains with a Bobby pin. They are sloppily placed. I broke free and took off the hood of the leader. Who I saw under there left me in shock.
Rose: "Sean? What the fuck are you doing?!"
Sean laughed as he looked at me.
Sean: "I am getting my revenge. Ever since Ria died, I've wanted to make you suffer. Now, you will finally feel my pain!"
I just laughed at his face.
Rose: "Me? Feel your pain?? I am the one that should've turned satanic and try to kill you. You've done enough damage to me in my early high school years and beyond. Ria put me in a coma. I wasn't trying to bother her at all. It was all her fault. But you are the reason why I was hospitalized!! Remember that? Yeah. It was all you. But I lied to you about that so you could feel better. To save you the pain and guilt. But I should've let you feel that pain. Now, you are here trying to waste your life getting revenge on your 8th grade girlfriend??? Are you kidding me??? You are so stupid. Thank God I broke up with you"
He just growled at me and tried to stab me. But, a dying Nico came from behind and stabbed him in the chest. They both came down as they were both dying before me on the same date and place. Sean died first. But Nico was still fighting.
Nico: "I. . .think I fulfilled my destiny. I p-protected you from d-death. I love you. I always will, my Rose"
Then Nico died in my arms. No. NO! Not again!!!

I held him close to me as I wept on his corpse. I then called the cops and reported the incident. They collected their bodies and gave Sean's to his family. Then they gave Nico's body to his family. He was dead. And it was all my fault. He is dead because of me. I went to Nico's funeral with a black veil to hide my mourning face. To hide my misery as I am slowly losing hope in life once again. I walked up to his open casket, ready to say my last goodbye. I looked at his corpse, he looked almost alive. Except, he was cold and motionless. The embalmers did a great job to hide the ugliness of the gruesome works of Sean and his cult. I leaned down and kissed his cold lips. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, he might come back to life like the Disney movies. But nothing. Not even a single muscle movement. He is dead. He is not coming back. I am alone now. Again. . . Help me, I am in hell.

Laura: "Mija, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Let me be there for you. Let me be in your life. Let me help you"
Rose: "No Amá! I can't lose you too! If you get close to me, you might die too"
I started shaking violently and my vision went black
Rose then fell on the floor and was having a mini heart attack. She was affected because of her severely broken heart. Laura tried to use the emergency shocker while she could, while the ambulance was arriving. The ambulance then arrived and took Rose.
Rose woke up in a hospital ER room and was alone. The nurse checked on her and let her go once they saw she was alright. She returned to the funeral and made it for the burial. After the burial of Nico, she stayed there alone. Nobody wanted to disturb her.
I was on my knees, on his fresh grave. The wind picked up around me and I took out my guitar.
She will sing a feminine version of "Wake Up Dead Man" by U2
Rose: "Jesus
Jesus help me
I'm alone in this world
And a fucked up world it is too
Tell me
Tell me the story
The one about eternity
And the way it's all gonna be
Wake up
Wake up dead man
Wake up
Wake up dead man
Jesus
I'm waiting here boss
I know you're looking out for us
But maybe your hands aren't free
Your Father
He made the world in seven
He's in charge of heaven
Will you put a word in for me
Wake up
Wake up dead man
Wake up
Wake up dead man
Listen to your words
They'll tell you what to do
Listen over the rhythm that's confusing you
Listen to the reed in the saxophone
Listen over the hum of the radio
Listen over the sounds of blades in rotation
Listen through the traffic and circulation
Listen as hope and peace try to rhyme
Listen over marching bands playing out their time
Wake up
Wake up dead man
Wake up
Wake up dead man
Jesus
Were you just around the corner?
Did you think to try and warn her?
Or are you working on something new?
If there's and order
In all of this disorder
Is it like a tape recorder?
Can we rewind it just once more
Wake up
Wake up dead man
Wake up
Wake up dead man
Wake up
Wake up dead man!"
This is it. This is how it ends. The world is against my happiness and I can never enjoy peace. I saved enough money to move out of my Mom's house so her life isn't threatened by being close to me. I want  her to live as long as possible. She is all I have left. I finished packing all of my things, leaving my mother very confused.
Laura: "You are moving?"
Rose: "Yes, it is for both of our sakes. I can't stay here any longer. I am a danger to your life"
My mom just started sobbing as she fell on her knees.
Laura: "Ay mija, I am so sorry about everything. I wish I could've been able to give you a better life. I am so so sorry mi amor"
I leaned down in front of her and kissed her forehead.
Rose: "It is ok mami. I still love you. This is not your fault. I am keeping you safe. I am a huge target for dangerous people. I love you so so much"
We both embraced each other while we wept in each other's arms. I needed this. I needed her.
Rose: "Goodbye mami, I will call you everyday"
Laura: "You better call me everyday. If you don't, I will hunt you down myself"
I chuckled lightly and picked up my suitcase. I stood in front of the front door and gave her one last glance. She was hugging herself as she looked down.
Rose: "Don't worry mami. I will be ok. I love you"
She smiled at me. Then I walked out the front door and put my belongings in the trunk of my car. I then turned on the engine and drove off. I found a nice condo in a suburban area that had decent rent rates. It was a one bedroom condo with a big living room and a kitchen. Plus, a whole field as a backyard. Obviously I share with the neighbors, but that won't really be a problem. It took me 30 minutes to arrive, but I made it! Everything was organized neatly and clean. Not bad. I put my luggage down and looked for the landowner. She gave me a contract and I signed it after reading it thoroughly. Then I returned to my room and layed down on the couch. It was comfy. I then drifted off to sleep. . . Slowly. . .
Dream:
Rose: "Hello?? Is there anybody out there?"
Nothing, just silence in an empty void. I haven't had a dream like this since. . .Lucifer. . .
Rose: "Lucifer? Are you there?"
Still silence. But then I felt someone tap my shoulder. I whipped my head back and came into eye contact with the last person I wanted to see. Lucifer. He was here.
Lucifer: "Hello darling, I am so sorry about everything. If you let me be there for you, everything could've been avoided."
Rose: "Asshole! You could've still stopped it! Not let me suffer as my ex killed my lover!!"
I started sobbing.
Lucifer: "Look, I am sorry. I should've been there for you. I was being rude."
He opened his arms for me.
Lucifer: "Come here"
I didn't want to embrace him, but my body carried me towards him. I then went into his arms and he held me close. I felt his heartbeat. He was no longer a short man. I guess he was fooling me. He is 5'6. Only 3 inches taller.
Lucifer: "Everything will be ok. Just stay with me. Be in my arms and I will guide you through life, destroying all of your obstacles. I don't want your soul in exchange. Just your friendship at least"
Wait what?
Rose: "Can we make a contract for this then? If you really don't want my soul, I would like to see you write out that statement permanently."
Lucifer: "Alright. I didn't think this would be that easy."
Rose: "Shut up, I am desperate. But not desperate enough to sell myself to you"
He just smiled down at me and patted my head. Then he made a contract and gave it to me. It said
"I, Lucifer Morningstar, promise to always protect Rose Rodriguez and her loved ones so long as she shows me the bare minimum of affection and friendship."
Then it had a place for me to sign my name.
I grabbed it and Lucifer gave me a golden pen. I read it once more and signed it with my eyes closed. Not wanting to see me commit the biggest sin of my life. Giving into the devil. Wait. What have I done???
Lucifer hugged me once more.
Lucifer: "See you in the real world"
Then he left. I was left there, in the cold darkness. He visits my dreams because he knows I can't escape them. That is how he corners me. Bastard. And I fell for it. I fell for his tricks. Now I will pay the price for this sin for eternity. I won't go to Heaven. I won't see Nate or my father.
End of dream. . .
Rose: "Noooo!!! Please noooooo!!!!!"
This can't be happening. I ran to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. This is the face of someone who sold themselves to the devil.
Rose: "Rose you stupid bitch. What have you done?!!!"
I punched the mirror and watched it shatter to pieces, sticking into my fist. Then lots of blood poured out of my hand and wrist. A huge shard was deep in my wrist on my vein. I felt lightheaded. Dizzy. I then fell to the ground.
Lucifer: "Rose. What are you doing?"
Rose: "L-leave me alone!"
Lucifer just ran up to me and cradled me in his arms. He panicked and took out all the shards quickly. Then he put his hand over me and started chanting. I miraculously healed.
Lucifer: "I didn't know the contract would upset you this badly. It didn't have to be a contract. It was just a promise from myself to you. But you wanted it like that. I listened but I knew it would scare you"
Is he serious?
Rose: "So, I am still going to Heaven?"
Lucifer: "Yes, if you don't commit horrible sins. You might just end up in purgatory and cleanse your soul to be divine for heaven."
I smiled. Things did work out then.
Rose: "Thank you!"
I jumped to his arms and hugged him. He hugged me back and nuzzled his face into my neck. The sensation of his breathing on my neck tickled me. I giggled softly as he held onto me.
Lucifer: "Now, let's make you some breakfast. You up for some Crepes? Or Pancakes"
Rose: "Crepes sound delicious"
He smiled at me and lead me into the kitchen, the sunlight shining through the windows. . .
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I will post my art for this chapter in a separate chapter thing last the last time. I have lots of inspiration! Anyways, thank you for reading this book. . .